Your views.

[dowmass]

I am in my sixties, live in Dallas TX and have had Bi feelings for a pretty long time. That I have bottomed only twice is due to many reasons- constant travel for work my initial hesitation when sex with a guy was much easier, in the days of Craigslist.
On the home front, I have been married for thirty years , to a wonderful woman. She?s kind, caring and soft spoken. However we have not had sex for over 10 years. At first I had ED, but sex was still great. Then then the pills stoppped working and I found Trimix which can give me a hard on in minutes.

I wish that changed everything, but it did not because the wife had menopause, and steadily lost interest in sex. I discussed this a couple of times, but she said she just get the urge, interest and mood to have sex. I tried to fondle her, but that did nothing. For her sex has zero priority.

Recently on a couple of occasions I told her of posts I read on Facebook posted anonymously. The men in these posts said that they had no sex in 10 years, nothing was working and so they were thinking of divorce. To this, my wife remarked that if sex was so important, they should look for that outside. I was kind of shocked , but did not have the courage to ask if I could do that.

So here is the confusion, and dilemma.. is this a message that I could do the same? Even so I could tell her that I was interested in men because it is considered taboo ( I am from India, where things have not changed much). On one hand I can?t get at home and then I?d love to have sex with men.

So, what should I do? I know that there are some great folks here, so just looking for perspectives. Thanks!!

[Neonaught]

Sounds to me like she just gave you a hall pass to get whatever sex you desire but I doubt she wants to know about what/who you do/see.

[dowmass]

Sounds to me like she just gave you a hall pass to get whatever sex you desire but I doubt she wants to know about what/who you do/see.

Thank you so much for your perspective.
I guess. I should look for a FWB.

[bikurinpa]

Thank you so much for your perspective.
I guess. I should look for a FWB.

Good luck finding!
I been looking for years, no luck.

[dowmass]

Same here. Live in Dallas TX, Cannot find a FWB.

[NJwood]

I’m in my second marriage. We were in our 40s, and we both wanted intimate partners. We discussed or sexual interests and this was when I told her I was bi. She found it very hot. We married and were monogamous. Sex was great but ebbed as life got in the way. She hit menopause and sex became a frustration for her. A result of the changes she was undergoing. She found my dildo one day and we started talking about what was going on. She asked if I was still interested in men and I said yes, sexually only. She was cool with that because she didn’t see it as a threat to our marriage. We worked out an agreement that allowed me to fulfill the needs but with men only. Part of the arrangement is I share the details of my encounters. That has boosted her libido. I’m very lucky it’s worked out this way, no doubt.
So, in your case, she’s opened the door with her comment, now is the time to discuss your sexual needs and negotiate the boundaries. You don’t need to bring up your bisexuality if you know it will not be accepted well. You may ask if she’s ok with you exploring and fulfilling your needs/desires as long as you practice safe sex. Does she want to know about it or is she willing to just establish the “rules of engagement” and trust you to abide by them.
You’re at a critical point in your personal life and marriage. Time to open the discussion.