Why do guys lead you on then ghost you? i feel if you don't want too talk etc, stay away. I am tired of this I think I might be lucky nope!
Why do guys lead you on then ghost you? i feel if you don't want too talk etc, stay away. I am tired of this I think I might be lucky nope!
Some guys do it because they're all about "the thrill of the hunt;" they get you all hot and bothered and excited to have sex with you and they never had any intentions of showing up to back up all that shit they were talking. Some guys find themselves too paranoid to go through with a meet and are quite fearful of someone they know running into them and somehow accurately guessing that he's been seen in the area because he's there to have sex with a guy.
Some guys get cold feet; it all sounds like the best idea ever... until the moment it gets real and as soon as them getting ready to leave for the encounter. They usually get to overthinking everything and wind up talking themselves out of doing it and in almost all of these situations, the chances of you hearing from the guy and getting even the lamest excuse you've ever heard is slim and none. The thrill seekers aren't likely to let you know they're not coming because, again, they never intended to.
The paranoid guys, well, that almost speaks for itself although I've had maybe two of three of these guys call (or otherwise reach out) and say they're not coming because they think they're being watched land/or followed and, yeah, okay, whatever, dude. I have had some cold feet guys contact me and apologizing for thinking that they don't really want to do this, they don't feel that they can do it, won't be good at it, stuff like that... but having guys who might ghost you actually explain themselves isn't all that likely to happen.
All in all, being ghosted, stood up, etc., is part of the occupational hazard when you're trying to have sex with a guy, and I'd guess it becomes even more of a thing in a time where a lot of guys are very risk-adverse and it's just easier for them to ghost you than to explain themselves.
I had a guy email me 10 times. We were supposed to meet at a Starbucks and he called. He said his wife had to go out of town on a work trip, so he had to drop her at the airport (poor guy hadn’t heard of Uber!)
Another guy asked me the color of my shirt. He probably looked at me from far, and just bolted. He never answered my call after that.
People come up with weird reasons or simply ghost you.
I recently had a bad experience. Broke a ground rule and sent a face pic to a guy and texted him so racy conversations about what I wanted to do with him. Next thing I know he's threatening to put me if I don't give him money. Fortunately I was using a burner phone so the Facebook info linked to the phone number was not my info. But to be safe I got rid of the phone and deleted my and on mennation. I had been talking to a couple of other guys but now they probably think I ghosted them on purpose, when they were actually collateral damage. So if someone ghost me I don't take it personally. You may not know the whole story.
Tarz. That is the exact reason i will never send another face pic.
Bi Versatile
North Idaho.
Spank that ass!
I finally met with a guy on grindr, he didn't want to do anything but wanted his dick sucked, so I'm going down on him and gagging, he finally holds my head down and cums in my mouth, I thought we would be regular hookup, but after he left he blocked me and never heard from him again
Same thing happened to me, i let my guard down and thought he was cool, bad idea, wanted to tell everyone and post my stuff, I just blocked all his texts and calls to me, nothing happened after all
The facts are that not all guys you might meet are going to be "like-minded" about something more meaningful and 'lasting' - they want to get off in your mouth or ass and... see ya later or, really, let's not and say we did. Again, occupational hazard and one that been around way before I came into the world. I have had guys ghost me because we're talking, minutes away from making the deal (and I'm looking for my shoes and keys); I get to the meeting spot and... he's not there and he's not coming because while we were talking, he was jerking off, busted a nut, and... did a blow and go on me without even moving from where he was sitting.
Occupational hazard and one that's understandable when you understand how busting a nut can change a guy's mind in a hurry. I like to think that I'm a really nice guy but I also learned that if you don't or can't learn how to "play the game" like other men are playing it, you're going to wind up with hurt feelings, be disillusioned, second-guessing yourself, so on and so forth. Ghosting someone is very poor taste but guys who'd ghost you - deliberately or even with a reason - are still of a mind that it's better to no-show and not have to explain why they didn't show than it is trying to explain themselves and like a thrill-seeker is really going to tell you that he got you all hot to trot because it's his idea of fun or a guy who has a bad case of stranger danger is going to admit to another man that he's afraid or the paranoid guy's gonna really admit that everyone is out to get him and out him as a homo so they can ruin his life.
They're not likely to want to admit to you that all they're good for is talking shit and when it's time to shit or get off the pot, well, you've been ghosted. Boo.
If you're going to be "in the game," you're going to get ghosted more often than not. There are plenty of men out there who aren't going to ghost you so if one guy does, you just move on to the next guy
"If you're going to be "in the game," you're going to get ghosted more often than not."
Words of wisdom. So, so true.
So true! I've been ghosted more times than I can count. One particular time, I had been trading emails with this guy for weeks. He seemed desperate to hook up. We exchanged pics and everything. The first attempt we were to meet at a local coffee shop. He never showed. Later he sent a text that his wife had come home early from a business trip and that he couldn't get away. That night he sent me an email wanting to know if we could postpone it until the next Friday. I figured, well... stuff happens, okay.
The next Friday came and I saw him pull up in front of my apartment complex. I was waiting and had made all of the preparations. I heard him coming up the stairs, and was waiting for a knock at the door. The next thing I heard was his footsteps going down the stairs and watched as he got back into his car and drove away.
That evening I got another email from him. When I asked why he had backed out, he said he had received a call from his office demanding that he be there right after lunch. I thought, okay, I'll give him another benefit of the doubt. From then on, I never heard from him again.
I think Jaz is right. Some guys just like the hunt but are afraid to go through the real thing.
It's epidemic, even in hetero lifestyle circles. The wife and I were in the lifestyle for a few years. I can't begin to count the number of times she was ghosted. She's hot, naughty, etc., but it's easier to jerk off than to interact with another human face to face.
IT is just more noticeable because of more internet............and it will get worse, people are getting wortse and worse with human interaction, its a numbers game
You just nailed it. Yes, it's easier to jerk off than interact with someone they don't know. Jazmine is right, too, with the internet and texting. We don't talk anymore, we text each other. We even avoid talking on the phone, much less face-to-face interactions. For some people, it's become scary. Too scary to attempt. So they stay home and watch porn on their phone and jerk off. Meanwhile, the person that is ghosted did all the prep. All dressed up and nowhere to go so to speak. I have no idea what the answer is. I've been ghosted, too, and it sucks when that happens.
I have not been actively looking for more sex partners lately. But I have been ghosted multiple times
After emails about getting together for wonderful sex and multiple attempts to set up the event. Then nothing.
I do not get upset about it. Those are guys that likely would never have been able to make me and my dick feel wonderful.
Also, likely i would not have been able to make them and their dick feal wonderful.
So, just move on. Others that will not ghost are looking for you.
Eventually, I meet my present partner. We have been together for more than 20 years
JEM
What about a guy who wants you to come to his house when his wife is working over night but won’t send you his cock picture but says he can’t wait to suck me and rim me ?
is it a trap ?
A shame we don’t live closer.
Wow I am glad we are not out there looking. it IS a crazy world.
Whew! That's a tough question. It could be that he is legit, but gets cold feet. If you have his address, look up the neighborhood and you can make some assumptions regarding his background. There are also predators out there so beware. Some may be wanting to extort money, whether in person or over the internet. I don't know if you are in a relationship or not, but it could happen. The worst case is that he/she is trying to lure and rob you. Believe it or not, there are actual gangs who do those sorts of things, knowing you aren't likely to go to the police and report an incident.
Good luck and be careful!
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