accidental / unintended pregnancies ??

[Long Duck Dong]

I was reading thru some of my old case notes ( i destroy all case notes of old ex clients every end of the year )...
and i reread the case notes of a client that became pregnant thru a swinging encounter... precautions were taken, including the pill ( she was also on antibotics ) and condoms... but she got pregnant anway

my advice to the female was neutral....i simply asked her to decide what choice was best for her, in the present and the future, and i outlined the possible choices of abortion, adoption and keeping the child.. and when she made her choice, I contacted all the support agencies, with the mother and child's best interest at heart... and they helped her with housing, etc etc

the case ended 5 months ago....

now i am curious how others would handle that situation, if they were to get pregnant or get somebody pregnant, during a casual encounter.....
I am aware that we use protection etc....but as I saw myself, even protection isn't a quaranteed safety net

myself... first i would shit myself, freak out... then fall apart.....then i would respect the ladies choice... regardless of my own personal feelings....
so this is not about the ethics of abortion, adoption or solo parenting.... but a look at a very possible situation for many of us

[bigirl_inwv]

With any kind of sexual encounter, you set yourself up for those types of things to possibly happen. Pregnancey, STD's, etc. Many people go into it without thinking about those types of consequences.

My fiance and I swing. Had it been us, I would have kept the baby, had a DNA test to be sure that it was whose we thought it was, and then make sure that all parties involved had a part in the child's life. (Being that the other party wanted to of course.) Now, if the other party objected to the child, I would have had it anyway and my fiance and I would have raised it as our own, no questions asked.

Just my Everyone's opinion is different.

[LoveLion]

hmm, Its a tough decision. Iv never been pro-abortion, but if all the proper protections were there it mixes things up a little. For My I guess it would depend on a few factors. Things like the age of me and my partner, if we are prepared to handle a baby, the depth of my relationship with my partner, and of course way she felt on the issue. In the end abortion would not be my favorite choice, but it would be an option I would consider. I want to have a kid someday, either by adoption or biology, but I dont think that is how I would want it to happen. Abortion is a touchy subject and its so hard (for me at least) to from a stance on it when there are always so many circumstantial factors. If a teenager is raped and gets pregnant, is she morally wrong if she gets one? I dont know

[someotherguy]

My first reaction would be to deny I was there. I would say it must have been some other guy. If that didn't fly, I would deny having ejaculated. If things got really serious and a DNA test proved I was involved, I would plead temporary insanity, arguing that I must have been crazy to have sex with someone who could get pregnant.

[Sara Angelou]

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[KDaddy23]

That was one of the "big ticket items" my first wife and I talked about when we opened our marriage and partially made easy because she got her tubes tied after our third child so she wasn't getting pregnant... but I could knock someone up. I decided that I wasn't going to run from the responsibility if it was proven that I was the daddy and I would abide by whatever decision the woman made, i.e., getting an abortion (yuck) and we even set up a "fund account" to pay for an abortion if I had to. While the women were on birth control, even I knew that some pills are duds and that 99.99% isn't 100% - and my sister had gotten pregnant with her second child while on birth control - condom usage was something I left up to the women; some said put it on, most said, "Don't even think about putting that fucker on!"

As far as I know, I only have three children and all by my first wife. I've not had any women come and tell me that I got her pregnant, no papers from a court re child support, and no one approaching me and telling me that they're my son/daughter. It's nothing to crow about because I understand that I could have gotten someone pregnant, and they chose to deal with it and not involve/include me. Still, I wasn't going to run from (a) my part in this and (b) my responsibility because, jeez, I don't know how many women I had raw sex with once our marriage went open but suffice it to say that... it was a lot.

[Footstep40]

I can’t get pregnant so I don’t have those worries. I do practice safety though, so new guys are wrapping up.

[Grumpygrandpa]

My middle step daughter got pregnant while on the pill. She was taking antibiotics for something else at the time. Her then boyfriend later husband stepped up and did the right thing. Sadly he was a cheating person and let her raise my grandson by herself. They got divorced and he has since remarried. I wish his current wife luck. So it's possible to get pregnant while on the pill. Saw it happen first hand. At 71 if I managed to get a woman pregnant it would surprise us both. I'd be wearing Depends and the kid would be wearing Pampers!

[Jozyxt]

I got my male tubes tied many years ago after my wife and I decided we didn't want any more children.

[KDaddy23]

The thing here is that if you're going to fuck women in the raw and they're still fertile, if you're not going to accept and deal with the consequences of your actions, what kind of asshole are you? Birth control just isn't 100% and some women can't take some of the more effective stuff - and accidents happen.

I had a mad, intense affair with a married woman who told me before we had sex that she didn't believe in condoms and didn't have a lot of faith in birth control methods so if we had sex, I had to pull out before I came - but she did ask what would I do if I didn't get out in time and she wound up pregnant and I told her that I wouldn't run away or deny any responsibility. We did have a good laugh about how we were going to explain to her husband why "their" new baby has nice, curly hair and a tan. Of course we both took the whole thing very seriously but she said that if I knocked her up, we would have a beautiful child because she didn't believe in abortions, either.

She didn't get pregnant. But the possibility existed. You fuck women raw, you deal with the consequences of your actions and if her birth control fails, that's not her fault.

[jjourneyman]

A funny / not so funny story about a friend of mine. We grew up together and after high school, he joined the Army and was eventually sent off to Germany, where he did a two-year tour. While there, he dated several of the locals. Fast-forward 19 years later, he got a knock at his door. It seemed he had unknowingly fathered a son. He was living in Arizona at the time. His German "girlfriend" never told him or even kept in contact after their affair. Naturally, he was skeptical, but a paternity test proved that he was indeed the boy's father. His wife was not understanding and they ultimately ended up getting a divorce as a result. It seems they had been trying to have a child of their own for sometime, but she could not conceive.

It pays to wear a raincoat, but even then, there are no guarantees.