I find it a hard balance. You want to be open but know that it may cause a rift. And then if you act on it in private there s the guilt.. tricky balance ...
I find it a hard balance. You want to be open but know that it may cause a rift. And then if you act on it in private there s the guilt.. tricky balance ...
In 1998 I was on a chat room for "bi married men." There was a femine user name. I asked "What's a(User name) doing here and she said, "Looking for a bi man for my husband."
We lived together for 4 years. One bed, one dresser one closet one clothes hamper.When they divorced, the wife and I stayed together. We're going on 25 years. So she knows!
At one time during my "bi-life," I insisted on having a female present for any MMF activity. Finally, I said this is just a crutch to make me not feel gay. I like sucking cock and it really doesn't make any difference if a woman is there or not. Had my share of male lovers over the years. I still like the MMF threesome more than any other sexual relationship.
Not only does my wife know, she searched out our first bi guy for a regular playmate. enjoyed 3somes with him for several years till we moved. Now we can't find anyone.
My wife would kill me if she knew that I've played with men. The sneaking around adds to the excitement though.
I've been playing with other guys since a bout with cancer some 18 years ago robbed my wife of her sex drive. Initially, I kept my guy on guy on guy encounters a closely guarded secret. But after about two years of clandestine rendezvous with like-minded men, my wife surprised me, saying "If you ever decided to be with someone else, I 'd prefer it was another guy. That would seem less like cheating."
At that point, my spouse and I established a set of "don't ask, don't tell" policy, an open-minded set of ground rules for extracurricular sex;
1) Safe sex only...condoms are a must
2) No anal sex or anal penetration
3) Never divulge details of what I do, where I do it or who I do it with
4) Never cause her to meet someone with whom I've been sexually active
5) No sex play in our bed or bedroom
6) Absolute discretion is a must ... no explicit photos or videos
7) Never do anything that would harm my character or professional reputation
8) No sex play with another woman or mixed couple.
Yeah, well, I've broken just about all of those rules at one time or another, but who's to know? At least I get myself off every now and then with the participation of a friend.
Last edited by Sundazzled; Aug 25, 2023 at 6:35 PM.
Couldn't agree more. I've explored most every combination; group sex, MM, MMM, MMF, MFM, FFM. For my money, there's nothing hotter than a threesome with two bi guys and an open-minded girl.
MMF is my favorite flavor behind two bi married couples crawling all over each other!
My story of coming out to my wife is a long one with lots of unhappiness as a result. So I'll spare the very long story and hit the major points here...
When I came out to her I think if we didn't have young kids at the time, she would have left me. She was vocally very upset over the revelation, with/to me, and even more so to a couple of her guy (non sexual) friends whom let me in on some of the conversation years later. The main themes were "I didn't sign up for this", or "I thought I was marrying a straight man", or "how can he ever be faithful" (which is weird since we were very active swingers around that time), and "I don't find him physically attractive anymore". She by the way, is very straight. She experimented long long ago, but in a phase of her life where drugs, alcohol, and pier were the real drivers to her experimentation. She has NO interest now, and in fact is very wary of Bi women, and I don't blame her because has had bad experiences with very aggressive women trying to bed her, to the point where I had to physically intervene.
At first and for the first couple of years I was very resentful of her. Why this was a problem? The closest I ever got was "Because it's you" (see the above themes). She's not homophobic in words or action. Her dearest friends are gay, we have bisexual men and women as close friends. Why was it so very OK for them, but not me? Also, she's OK with Gay men and hearing about the sex they have, but not bisexual men having sex with men. The whole thing threw ice water on our sex life for a couple of years.
So I downplayed it, said it was a passing curiosity and that I was done with that, and it became a don't ask don't tell thing about my past experimentation. But in reality I just went on the down low and hid it all from her. I've had a few couples in the past with whom I had LOTS of MM Bi sex (and it was stellar!). She knew about them, just not the Bi component. I currently have a dude (who is totally closeted, especially from his wife) with whom I have amazing MM sex. That's cheating I suppose, but I believe having to suppress and/or deny a very big part of me would have worse consequences for both of us and our marriage.
So My wife knows that I have played with guys. And I have said straight out to her "I am bisexual, I have had sex with men on more than a few occasions, and I still would if the right man/couple came along". But somehow for reasons I believe I now understand, she still after all these years doesn't want to acknowledge she has a bisexual husband. As an example, we recently met a dude (we were vetting him, LOL) and he asked me if I was at all Bi, and before I could take a breath, she said in a kill the question tone of voice, "No, he is not Bi". I followed with "I've had some experience with men/couples in the past, yes". To his credit he instantly read the dynamic and maneuvered away from it. But I am sure he was interested in knowing because he is interested in exploring.
I no longer resent the wife for any of this, and in fact I support her. There is ALOT more to do with her reaction and views (and in no small part due to sexual abuse she suffered as a young adult). There would only be negative outcomes if I were to attempt to convince her that she should be "OK" with my being bisexual, or even more so, to enjoy that I am bisexual. Much to my disappointment, I am quite I ever be able to be completely open with her about my bisexuality. Fortunately, I have friends with which I am
After all this commentary, imagine how long the full story would be!
I really appreciate being able to share the discussion here with guys in a similar situation!
I totally agree! grrrrrrrrOriginally Posted by Sundazzled
I forgot to mention in my long disertation below;
I too have experienced many combinations of group sex. MMF is my favorite by far (when you have a woman who is turned on by Bi male play).
My wife knows and that is great! She is a support that I would not have imagined!!
My wife met me for the first time while I was sitting on one of the most perfect cocks I'd ever seen.
well ,now you have to tell us that story.
I was dating a girl (who also knew I was bi) and we were invited to a Halloween party. Tons of people about, most of them were very...loose. A lot of suggestive stuff. Rumor had it the basement was the orgy room...I didn't get there.
This guy, Dionte was there. He'd dated a friend of mine for a while who couldn't get over his cock. He wasn't the best guy, but he definitely had the best my friend had ever seen.
So Dionte and I started drinking, he got pretty out of it and asked me if I wanted to go up to a bedroom and fuck. I said sure.
He wasn't too with it and I was buzzing hard, but Trey had been right, Dionte had a perfect cock. Just over 7", perfectly shaped, perfectly sized. Not too veined, not too little. Plus a pair of balls that looked epic.
We started with him fucking me from behind while I leaned on a dresser, then moved to missionary on the bed with my legs up, and finally reverse cow'boy'. That's when Dionte's grip on my hips went full-on and I felt him alternately swell and deflate while he unloaded.
Then he fell asleep.
I was so turned on by the feel of him, particularly the fact he wasn't going down, that I just wanted to sit there and enjoy him. So I did.
All of a sudden the door opens and a girl comes racing in, goes to the bathroom. I hear peeing, a flush, and washing hands.
She comes back out and sees the bed. She looks at me and asks if she can watch. I said it was all over.
We sat and talked for a good hour. Dionte ended up going limp and I slid off of him, but Mel and I hit it off.
Three years later to the day I married her.
My wife knows and encourages my cock sucking although she doesn?t like hearing details.
My gf knows, because I've told her about my experiences. I've always been faithful to and her to I as far as I know. She's a little BI and has recently warmed up to the idea of a threescore with a woman or trans woman, and isn't as opposed to mmf as she was. But im never gonna push for it because she worth more to me than any of that.
In the same position, even though there's not much happening sexual the wife. That said, I've got one FWB that's in the same position and we keep it between ourselves.
My wife knows. She's accepting, but hardly enthusiastic about my bisexuality. I suppose she feels --and properly so -- that her abandonments of her role in the sexual aspect of our marriage nearly 18 years ago prompted me to begin exploring same sex options. We abide by a strict "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" arrangement, and observe a specific set of ground rules:
1) Safe sex only; condoms are a must
2) Never reveal details of what I do, where I do it, or with whom
3) Never cause her to meet anyone with whom I've been sexually involved
4) Be discreet ultra-discreet
5) No explicit nude photography, videos or anything that could cause embarrassment or professional harm
6) Men only; no sex play involving other women
6) No drugs -- period
7) No anal play or anal intercourse
8) No sex with others in our bed or bedroom
(I've pretty much broken every on of those rules, but what Joanne doesn't know won't hurt her.
My wife and I have sex often, but there are things that I can't do with here. She doesn't have a cock for me to suck and she doesn't have a cock to fuck me.
My wife only thinks I am bi-curious. If she knows has not said anything. Tried for years talking her into a 3 way with another guy. Have told her I want to suck a cock with her. She keeps telling me not going to happen. So stop asking years ago. What she dose not know I have been with a few men over the years and even dabbed in cross dressing. I stopped with strangers in the min 80’s. I have 2 steadies I play with they are married to and theirs wife’s don’t know either.
for about 4 years , my wife went to a dom for spankings and fuckings. he was very big on ass fucking. he had to get my wife used to it , but she came to love getting her slutty ass fucked. she even liked me fucking her ass. i guess to a woman , it's just as much a turn-on for them as it is to a man. we should not question it, we should just keep on fucking their whore asses.
sorry, i mistakenly put my answer on the wrong subject. it should have gone to women enjoying anal sex.
@sissyjackie how did you find your steady buds?
Not only does she know, but I credit her with helping me to finally get over my guilt and shame and fully embrace my sexuality. She's bi as well and we came out to each other on.....I think it was our third date. She was also active in the swing lifestyle so it was not long after that she drew me into the scene with her FWBs.
Your a bad boy
Yesterday I confirmed a hook up after work. I texted my wife that I had a “date”
with a guy I connected with online and that she should pick up some dinner for herself. Her reply, “Ok my little slut!”
gotta love that woman
If only!!
Oh, wow! This is a lot to take in.
As I've previously mentioned in this thread, my Mrs. has known for almost 17 years of my occasional exploration of sexual intimacy with other guys. She's never been enthusiastic or even curious about it, but has given her tacit approval for me to play with select guys because she effectively resigned from the physical aspect of of marriage following a bout with cancer in 2005. In fact, she says sheds more comfortable knowing I'm getting off with other guys, as my playing with other women would seem more of a betrayal.
Until now, Joanne and I have maintned a strict "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy under which I'm *never* to discuss what I do, when and where I do it, or with whom. A few days ago, however, we're having a Frank discussion about how much I miss the very full and active sex life we had before her illness. I asked her if there was any chance of trying again, for old time's sake. She said no, that part of her no longer exists ... but that she'd be open to watching -- maybe even helping -- me have sex with another guy! She said I could consider it a present for my birthday next month.
On the one hand, I've always been something of an exhibitionist, and allowing her to watch while I have sex with my buddy, Dave, appeals to my kinky side. Moreover, her willingness to willingness to watch, maybe even have a limited role in one of our encounters, suggests that she may still have some interest in sexuality, or at least some willingness to see me being sexually fulfilled. I know that some women become very aroused watching their man being sexually intimate with another guy. My thought is that maybe, just maybe, allowing her to see firsthand what I do behind closed doors with my buddy, Dave, might kick start her libido and lead to something more.
I really want to do this, but on the other hand, I worry that she may not be prepared for what she might see. She says she can well imagine what guy-on-guy sex looks like, but imagining is one thing. Actually seeing me with another man's cock in my mouth, or sawing in and out of my backside until he cums inside me may be more than she's prepared to handle. I fear she may find the realities of bisex disgusting, or that she may become jealous, or experience negative emotions.
I fear the risks of sharing my bisexual self with my Mrs. outweigh any potential benefits, and that it would probably be best to decline her request to watch me do things I've kept carefully hidden for more than a decade and a half.
me do intimate things I've kept carefully hidden for more than a decade and a half.
Last edited by Sundazzled; Sep 23, 2023 at 10:28 AM.
How many wives dya all have?? ��
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
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