This is an actual e-mail my between my desk buddy (Big Dave), my boss at the time (Boss Mark), and myself.

A little setup is needed:
Big Dave is 6'6" tall and weighs 350lbs.
Big Dave and I are very good friends

This is no company handbook.

-----Original Message-----
From: Flounder1967
Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 1:06 PM
To: Big Dave; Boss Mark
Cc:
Subject: RE: Change in desks

But I do use headphones. Unfortunately, I have a medical condition called
cavernous melonous amplificationous mandatoritous. Which in a nutshell
means that due to the extra large size of my head, I'm medically required to have the volume set at such a level that, although pleasurable to me, may mean some mildly noticeable volume outside of the appropriately worn headphones.

Rebuttal:
I would like to mention that in the case of Peoples of the great
State of Iowa v Idiot (Minnesota) dealing with the artist formerly known
as Prince. In which the courts found in favor of the plaintiff, (Iowa)
states "That because your taste in music is bad. That people surrounding
area should not be subjected to said nuisance, (music). I can strongly
petition that Yanni and John Tesh, or "Death Incarnates" would fall into
such parameters. And that the possession of the said irritants should
cause the possession to be flogged, than tarred and feathered.

This volume is negligible at best, and only noticeable when the offended
parties are not wearing their own appropriate listening devices.

Rebuttal:
The statement that I'm wearing my heads phones is irrelevant. This
complaint is coming not just from me, but also from other persons who are
wearing headphones and sit on the other side of the well-built partition
walls on the Deere room.



-----Original Message-----
From: Big Dave
Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 12:33 PM
To: Boss Mark; Flounder1967
Subject: RE: Change in desks

But I do use headphones. Unfortunately,I have a medical condition called cavernous melonous amplificationous mandatoritous. Which in a nutshell
means that due to the extra large size of my head, I'm medically required
to have the volume set at such a level that, although pleasurable to me,
may mean some mildly noticeable volume outside of the appropriately worn
headphones. This volume is negligible at best, and only noticeable when
the offended parties are not wearing their own appropriate listening
devices.
As always,
Thank you for your support!!
Big Dave,
Dr. Feelgood
&
Dr. Demento

-----Original Message-----
From: Boss Mark
Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 10:11 AM
To: Flounder1967
Cc: Big Dave
Subject: RE: Change in desks

Please see heading "Noise Harrassment", Section 10:3:4 of the
Employee Policy Handbook. "Foul and Disturbing Music shall not be
permitted due to its grave affects on fellow employees, in addition to the
negative affect on our opinion of you. examples being, but not limited to:
Wayne Newton, Michael Bolten, John Tesh, most rap, all of Aaron Remley's
collection, Yanni, Peter Cetera, Marilyn Manson, anything purchased from a
TV add."

Dave you are obviously in violation of Section 10:3:4, please
refrain from playing such music, or use headphones so no one will know.

-----Original Message-----
From: Flounder1967
Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 9:35 AM
To: Boss Mark
Cc: Big Dave
Subject: Change in desks

Mark,
I would like to put in for a transfer of desks for either Dave Jensen or myself. I feel that sitting next to Dave would be cruel and unusual punishment. You see he likes Yanni and John Tesh. When he is playing the music to these "musicians" for lack of a better term. I guess "Death Incarnates" would be a better term. Having to listen to them could put the people around me and myself in great harm. If I have to listen to them in just might have to kill everyone in the office including myself. I beg you to help. I don't want to listen to the Devil's music.


Thank You,
Flounder1967