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I never knew I was bisexual untill I grew up

  1. comfyme
    comfyme
    I was introduced to sex when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. A boy a bit older than I was maybe a grade or two above me had me sucking his dick. I do not have any idea now how it began but I know I did not see any thing wrong with it and in fact I enjoyed doing it for him. this was back in the late 40's or early 50's and at the time being Queer as it was then called was not accepted at all. I had no idea that this was a bad thing but I do know we pretty much keep it hidden. While I was engaged in this activity with him, his sister that was about his age also began to engage in sexual; activities with me also. I do not believe her brother knew she was "messing " with me nor she knew I was "messing " with him, I do not remember ever putting my dick in to her or her actually sucking me much or her really doing much to me,but she had me kissing her licking her pussy and almost anything else she could think of. To say I enjoyed her body and tastes and the feel of her is a total understatement.
    In any case I was caught one day by my parents while the boys dick was hard and buried deep in my mouth and I was happily sucking away on it. To say the least this was not a good day in my life I was spanked and lectured to several times about how terrible this activity was and how I was going to go to hell if I did not stop and was told to never see or play with this boy again. I know my dad had a heart to heart talk with the boys mom and dad also. This ended my activities with him but not with his sister who I was allowed to continue to play with and feast on etc. Life was still good . I do not remember why she moved away or something but that time with her ended not to long the beatings and lectures I had to endure.
    All of the reprimands and spankings did nothing to stem my desire for sex. I was hooked on sex with boys and wanted it more and more and also wanted another girl to share good times with. The problem I had with girls was my being shy around them. I mostly keep a hard on and I knew it was visible through my tight blue jeans. I was embarrassed by this and just knew most that noticed it would think I was some kind of sexual pervert or something and I would be shunned by society for ever. So I figured that left mostly boys to play with.
    I did not really find much opportunity for boy on boy sex for several years and spent most of my alone time jacking off( only the lord knows how many hours I spent with my dick in my hand ) Some how I am not sure how it came about but I became part of a group of guys like six of us that enjoyed sexual play together. we started by having circle jerks to see how far we could shoot our cum and who would cum quickest etc. eventually we began to jack each other off and then began to suck each other at times.
    We would actually walk around at night in a line stroking each others cocks I am surprised we didn't all end up in jail or in a mental ward. We kind of ended up pairing off with one another and I had a best buddy from the group. We would and could have sleep overs together and those sex sessions were wonderful times. He and I decided to try anal sex together ,but having no idea what or how to go about it we were unsuccessful. but we did keep on having oral and jo sessions as much as possible. this lasted for several years until one of us moved away.
    I lost contact with my guy friends sexually and started getting over being so shy with girls and so they became my hearts desire. I finally found one I wanted married and am still married to her after these 50 years, we enjoyed sex together until her health failed her and so now we don't any longer. Through our time together I had very little to do with guys but still enjoyed some play time. My wife is still of the mind set that M4M is horrible and is a sin beyond redemption,these are not my ideas so I do not allow my desires for it to come between us. She has no idea of my desire to enjoy sex with another man and I will never let her know about it.
    Anyway that is the story of my introduction to sex and I suppose is the reason I enjoy sex with both boys and girls and I am ,I think better off for doing so.
  2. Biwomanwbi-c-man
    These stories are fascinating to me. As a bi woman I have had many experiences, but until recently have to had any real knowledge or insight into men with men. I support anybody's decisions. I had a little internal struggle with my attraction to women. The severe prejudice against men having sexual experiences is sad and out of proportion. I was encouraged to be with women. I was occasionally early allowed to be with two men. I didn't really want that, but I experienced it, and had some fun. It was a thrill to be so naughty. I later got involved in the "swing scene" I loved the freedom. I loved that I could express myself how ever I wanted to. The scene can be sad and disappointing at times. Too many people have too many hang ups and rules for each other. Doing it for the wrong reasons, like to save their marriages. However, I did have some great experiences even though the man I was with I felt took advantage and was using my face on the profile to lure more people. I went along more often than not. He would meet girls alone, and I never did anything alone. He repeatedly tried. I just never found someone I actually like well enough, or it was against the couples rules, not that he didn't try anyway, to have sex with it being a part of the relationship I was in. I eventually stopped just going along with what he wanted. I did what I wanted. Now, again I am exploring and playing, and so is my current boy friend. I was so surprised. We've known each other 15 years. We were married before. I would have never thought. I am fine with it. I wanted to do it, for him. I never had any idea. This is fascinating to me. I feel guilty that I've been encouraged, and you guys have been repressed and had to endure such horrible consequences for joy and discovery.
  3. NakedInSeattle
    NakedInSeattle
    Yep, Biwoman, you've hit on the "double standard." It's better for a man to be gay then bi by much of society's standards. Gay is accepted. Further, for gals to be bi, OMG they're worshipped and put on a pedestal. We used to swing and at parties and clubs, the gals would go at it with each other to everyone's enjoyment and pleasure. Let a guy mention man-to-man fun or, god forbid, even accidentally touch another man's junk during play and the shit hits the fan.

    The sad part is that we've met men after our swinging days that said they wished that they had known I was bi! Go figure.

    Now, it's just the other guys and me with an occasional sharing with the wife.

    Thanks for letting me rant a bit.
  4. Nachtlander
    Nachtlander
    Be patient when you read my response, please. I write published erotic fiction, but am also a writer and philosopher in general. I make good points but takes a few extra words to get there, LOL...

    I have been bi as long as I can remember. As a kid playing "doctor" I was with girls and guys...never thought a thing about it. Got my tail whipped when I was caught licking a girl at a very early age and then not too much later same again when a male wanted to try to stick his in me and I let him. Wasn't much to it at that age, but it was just the way I was. When i was in early teens, i had sleepover with friend and woke with his morning rise poking between my cheeks. I slipped myself higher until he was poking the right place and he didn't hesitate. We both liked it and spent the rest of our school years with him inside me at opportune times.

    Honestly, I think the majority of people would be bi if there were none of the extremely well forged (and even more overblown) ignorant stigmas circulated out there by the religions and politico-economic ruling classes or organizations through the centuries. I had many male friends who have said through the years that they wish they had tried sex with me when out hunting or fishing. Some of them were married and not cool by me if wife doesn't know, but had two who used to have sex with me and their wives encouraged them. One of them brought his wife in from the start and we had a great time in bed so that was probably best case scenario.

    I am most certainly and distinctively a "bottom" or the "fem" when i am with men. I enjoy everything that is part of being penetrated by a man, stimulating a man to erection and feeling that release inside me. Yet, am still very masculine in all other aspects. I also enjoy oral, and all the other parts of sex with a woman. I like it when a man plays with my ass as much as I enjoy a woman sucking on me. It is interesting that the hardest part of being a bi male for others to understand is that some are truly "balanced" individuals. I can be with a man and woman at the same time, taking care of his and her needs without any real preference. I am also just as happy in bed with a man's cock in me as I am with mine in a woman. My late wife loved to use a strap-on on me and other women. She was as bisexually oriented as I am so men or women with us was great. However, like you both said, not in swingers groups or clubs. The men who we brought into bed were friends of ours, known for years and that they were bi as well. No point bringing someone in that is bi or gay but gets all freaked out when a guy tries to suck on him or offers another hole. I figure 90% of the guys who will do mmf or orgies are bisexual at the core and maybe heavily leaning, but are afraid to be seen as gay. I am not, nor have I ever been gay. Having your cock inside another man doesn't make you gay. I don't relate to that concept at all. Gay, seems as foreign and contrived (through traditions, propaganda, and popular belief systems over the centuries)to me as being only hetero....natural to me is either m or f or both at the same time.

    I have friends who are gay, lesbian, bi, and straight. Love them all. Had great sexual encounter with lesbian friend and we ended up in bed with great sex and great fun for a whole weekend. It was just her and I. So is she lesbian or bi? Actually, she is afraid to be with man she likes because of being labeled, made an outcast by lesbian culture where she lives. That is an irony, huh? Same with a gay man who is actually bi with leaning more toward being with men..."Bi" to me seems, and always has seemed the most natural. When you listen to the arguments for the other three they seem very dogmatic and unrealistic in the sense of what humans really are and how we create the strongest bonds (hormones and chemicals that are released when we orgasm). Being bi and not being a free-lance nut-job about how many, who we choose to be intimate with, means we create those deep physical, chemical, and hormonal bonds with many more people than most. Another misconception created by media and popular/traditional BS propagandists is that gay, lesbian, bisexual is synonymous with extreme numbers of sexual partners (at random and for no reason other than debase and demonic persuasion according to some). That so many go down that road is the result of the rhetoric and creation of false lifestyle expectations, not the nature of sexual orientation. Add the honestly BS stigma against seeing men or women kissing, holding hands in public and you drive people underground, behaviors result from the persecutions not the nature of the person.

    Most would love to have a single or minimal number of partners that are the only partners for life. My late wife and I had a core group that we all swapped and shared ourselves with and ONLY with that group for nearly a decade. No new additions, no outside playing was even needed. Someone, when there are 18-26 people that are bi...someone was always in the mood and willing to fulfill sexual drives. That was an ideal, not typical situation. But it should have become the norm a long time ago.

    The "swingers" idea is a good one, but has become so tainted and unbalance in the manipulation of women for the desires of the men that I really try to talk people into never starting. If it were truly "bi" swinging and always a choice AND open exploration for both the man and women's parts, it would be what it should. Again, the rhetoric, media, and other influences have infiltrated and turned those groups into a "use" of women rather than the "open" places they were originally. Swingers, at one time was a place where everyone went to get laid more...bi sexuality wasn't really ever openly part of it as far as the men went, but yeah, "superstar status" to the women willing to show their bi side in public.

    The biggest irony lost on most people when they have to deal with false stigma, prejudices, and other ignorance is that those professing political or religion as an excuse to deny, hate, and subjugate alternative sexuality miss the point that their texts (in some cases their ancient beings mistranslated by Europe to be 'gods') say clearly that we were neither male nor female and when all is said and done we will be neither male nor female again...so, hermaphrodites? Nowhere does it say asexual or non-sexual for either the ancient past or the future, so bisexual is the only answer left. The fact is that opinions on "bi" vs the others are nothing more than the result of a long, long history of manipulation of people's beliefs. Yet, those same institutions and individuals who have been the manipulators have always had the bisexuals in their halls and sitting in the highest ranks? Should say more about the reason for being bisexual and its legitimacy than if I wrote a whole book about the way the stigmas were manipulated into being, created to subjugate and redefine humanity over time.

    Tribal people who still had overwhelming bisexual cultures were hunted down and destroyed for 400 years (up to the 80s-90s even). So what is so frightening that they can't even be written about, studied, or survive as a separate culture? Many still have the sexual surrogates in their tribes that are bisexual but are careful to keep them sheltered from the public now. These are male or female, and they take care of the needs of widows, widowers, single men/women as is needed. They are revered and are bisexual. Some are married heterosexually but take care of others homosexually as part of their duty to their clan or tribe. It is natural, and means that there is an openness, not to mention a number of people, in the tribe that are bisexual. Peace,
  5. NakedInSeattle
    NakedInSeattle
    Nachtlander, what you say is so true! We humans at one time were bisexual (as late as the Roman times). The "church" came along and fucked up the whole thing. We, if left to our own devices and free from all of the pressure, would be able to enjoy ourselves and each other very nicely, thank you.

    Your "core group" sure sounds like it was an ideal situation. What brought it to a close?

    Also, your thoughts on the swinger community is right on as well. We split from that scene because of the drama and the double standard relative to bisexuality.

    We have a very small group of "special" friends but wish that our particular lifestyle was the norm.

    Good luck to all you!
  6. LSC1962
    LSC1962
    Hi everyone.
    I never "discovered" and explored my bi sexuality until I was in my late 50s. I believed I was hetero for most of my life.
    But thinking back now, I realize there were times in my life when I was "attracted" to guys.
    One time in summer camp, a bunch of us played strip poker. My friend was the first to lose, and was laying on his bed playing with his hard cock. I distinctly remember that happening. We were early teens. I did not act on it.
    There have been many times during my life when I heard about gay men, or knew of a gay man, and was interested in finding out about them. While I lived in an apartment with another guy, I came home one day to discover nude guy photos on the living room table. I looked at them and then masturbated to them.
    About 3 years ago, I got interested in gay porn, just watching it to see what it was all about. Since that point, I have realized I am bi sexual.
    I have had a few encounters with men, both topping and bottoming, and 69 sucking sex. I enjoy it all, but I am not necessarily attracted to the guy, just the sex. I enjoy seeing his hard cock, and seeing my hard cock up against his! I enjoy the stroking and the sucking. I love it when I am either sucked or otherwise brought to orgasm, and I will cum a lot with a male partner. While I will top with a guy, I prefer us both sucking and cumming at the same time (rare), or bottoming and stroking my self to cum while he penetrates me.
    I would like to have some discussion with other guys about this.
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