KDaddy23

csreef reached out to me with some kind words re the violence I encountered having sex with men and I begin this by saying how much I appreciate what he said.

But if I didn't learn anything, it's that when some guys get their dicks hard, there's no telling how they're going to behave. There were guys who had a lot of misconceptions about having sex and one of those misconception was that sex always had to be rough. I would often hear guys talking about the sex they were having with other guys and how it had to be rough because we're men and we can take it better than women could or would... and, to me, that was bullshit since one of the other things I quickly learned was how I liked to have sex.

I knew and/or encountered guys who had issues with their sexuality and felt that they had to take out their anger issues on other guys. I knew and/or encountered guys who felt that they were on a mission to teach faggots a lesson on what it meant to be a real man and I couldn't figure out how they were teaching such a lesson when if I'm a faggot for sucking dick and being fucked, um, what does that make the guy I'm having sex with?

I had bi friends who'd tell me that they got with a guy and... pretty much got mugged and even raped as well as being made to do things that they didn't want to do or had agreed to and the thing that came to my mind was something my mother would say about being able to defend myself: You should never let someone make you do something you don't want to do. One of the things I said to csreef in my reply to him was that it didn't take me (or others) very long to realized that if you allow someone to make you a victim, you will always be seen as one. So being able to defend myself became a priority and like I also told csreef, I did not want to come home all beaten the fuck up and having to explain to my mother why I let someone kick my ass, let alone how that came to be.

I've had to defend myself against unwanted advances coming from men who, as far as I was concerned, didn't know how to have sex. Even in the younger days, a lot of my friends would tell me whatever their fathers told them about how to have sex with a girl and how they had to let her know that he was a real man by just having their way with her and if she resisted, beat her ass and keep having your way with her.

If you're frowning at this point, you should be but this was the mid-1960s and there were a lot of angry guys running around who were so fucked up in the head that women refused to have sex with them so for a lot of them, having sex with males was the answer but if they were brutalizing women via sex, they just transferred that behavior to having sex with men... and I wasn't having any of it. If you forced someone to have sex, this was the wrong way to have sex and it made sense to me that if I was being told to be gentle with girls, that meant that since I was having sex with guys, too, I had to be gentle with them.

Okay, being told by both that they weren't going to break told me I was being too gentle and I understood that but there is a difference here; you can be "rough" without literally kicking someone ass trying to have sex with them.