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$3ra1991

Pls READ AND COMMENT i need some advice !!!!

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So I have been dating bf for two years now he told he was bi and a year ago I'm having a hard time dealing with it because everytime I try and talk to him about it he gets so upset one time when we he was drunk he did open up to me and tell me about a ex boyfriend (who he still talks to on fb btw) he went on to say that if he would ever cheat on me it be with a man so everytime he makes a new guy friend I wondered what they actually are doing which is driving me nuts but what makes it worse is it seems like he is in complete denial about it so at first I was thinking maybe he is just gay but he is 35 and he said he knows he is not gay I don't know why it bothers me so much that he doesn't want to talk about it I even told him we can have a three way to help with his urges but he says I would ruin it which really hurt my feelings now he wants to get married and idk if I will ever be able to trust him because of that one comment he said when he was drunk he says that I'm just making a big deal out of nothing but cheating is cheating regardless of gender recently we moved in with our friends and he became best buds with nate (I know.nate isnt bi because he has talked about how he doesn't like to see guys kiss ) well nate always jokes around and will grab his butt and josh will just let him grab up on him and knowing my man he doesn't like people touching him especially guys he even got all mad when nate would do the same to his other friend he was acting like he was jealous wouldn't let him touch him which is really unlike him what gets ne is nate looks so much like his ex which is crazy anyways idk what to do especially since we are room mating with him and they work together I'm so confused I feel like a horrible gf for not trusting him but I can't help it cause he isn't willing to help me understand he just expects me to get over it

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Updated Jan 22, 2014 at 3:14 AM by $3ra1991

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  1. still_shy's Avatar
    First off, do not feel horrible about having a hard time trusting him. Considering the situation, you have a right to be worried. He wants to get married, yet he refuses to talk to you about something as important as his sexuality. It sounds to me like it's not him being bi that you are having trouble with....It's the lack of any communication about it. If it were me, i would take a long hard look at my relationship. Believe me when i say i know how hurtful jealousy and uncertainty can be. It's not something you want to live with for the rest of your life.
  2. $3ra1991's Avatar
    Thank u for ur reply u gave me a lot to think about and I agree I love him but if I can't trust him then I know a marriage wouldn't work and u are right I have no problem with him being bi just wish he would open up cause u can't truly love someone if you don't know who they really are
  3. ilovecumblono's Avatar
    Sounds like perhaps if you were to share an experience with a guy, it would be all out in the open
  4. Realist's Avatar
    [h=1]$3ra1991, Listen to Still-shy![/h]She is an intelligent lady and has some experience that you may rely on! She's a sweet and caring person, who would never lead you wrong.

    Here's a situation you may relate to: My cousin has a friend, who was in almost the same situation as you. The only difference was, his fiancee was the one in denial about her bisexuality. He had a lot of difficulty accepting her desire for being with other women and she would not discuss it with him. He actually caught her with her lover, and was aghast to learn they'd been seeing each other since high school! (they are all in their late 20s) They nearly split over her deceptions, but they genuinely loved each other and fought to remain together.

    Finally, they found a very savvy bi-knowledgeable counselor, who helped them. His jealous and her lies were laid bare and they were able to get over the issues, then come clean with their true selves. They've now been married for years and are apparently happy.

    From what I'm told, she has certain days that she can be with her female lover. I don't think they have 3-somes, but her husband is informed of her plans and location, when she's with her lover.

    Everyone's situations are different.

    If your BF agrees to share with you and you're OK with that, that's one way you may make a go of things.

    Years ago, I was actually a third party, with a married couple, and the relationship with them was one of the best ever. However, we were totally honest and up-front with each other. Cheating and slipping around in the dark can only lead to heartbreak and the ruination of a potentially beautiful relationship!

    Good luck; I hope things work out for you both!
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