sexual attraction and emotional attraction

**joshuasalam** · Sep 9, 2009, 6:37 PM

emotional compatibility is a complex thing, but so is sexual attraction. the ideal relationship obviously has both, yet in my life i have tended to be more sexually attracted to women and emotionally attracted to men. how about you?

**joanne** · Sep 9, 2009, 6:52 PM

your not alone there, i find myself with the exact same problem, are we ever gonna find both?

**joshuasalam** · Sep 9, 2009, 7:25 PM

Originally Posted by joanne

your not alone there, i find myself with the exact same problem, are we ever gonna find both?

o for sure! i believe that my ideal mate is a biological man who looks more feminine.

**Matthew547** · Sep 9, 2009, 10:45 PM

I'm sexually attracted both ways, but emotionally, I only click with women. I've never had a crush or a sincere desire to be with a guy in a long term sense, but I sure love watching two men have sex on my computer late at night. All my previous relationships have been with women and when a specific woman takes my breath away, she is the totality of my world and I have eyes for no other. Which one appears to me more sexually depends heavily on mood and circumstances. In the wake of a breakup when I am cynical to the idea of getting reinvolved, I lean more homosexual. When I am infatuated, I lean more heterosexual. In a neutral time of my life, it alternates with alarming frequency. Sexuality is indeed complex for all of us and you have my best regards.

With respect,

Matthew

**Micjolly1** · Sep 11, 2009, 10:36 PM

I kinda know what ur saying. I find it easy to satisfy my wife in bed. We just click. But she is far more emotionally attracted to her girlfriend (who is straight, but if she weren't, my wife admitted that she would EVIL things to her

). It's hard being on the receiving end of that one. Sex is an awesome part of life, but you can't fuck all the time.

**Bi-Zarro** · Sep 11, 2009, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by Micjolly1

but you can't fuck all the time.

Well, they do make these little blue pills that help with that now...

P.S. Matthew has a very nice chest.

**joshuasalam** · Sep 12, 2009, 8:01 PM

Originally Posted by IsItAllOverMyFace?

joshua-Since you're more sexually attracted to women you'll probably date or have a relationship with a woman.

I'm more into men nowadays but I was once married to a woman.

i dno i find that my orientation has been leaning towards men lately. in fact i think its been about 3 weeks since i've watched any straight porn at all.

**_Joe_** · Sep 12, 2009, 9:42 PM

it's a real pain when your sexual weighs over emotions and let that decide how you live life, as emotions run deeper and define your path it seems in the long run

**mikey3000** · Sep 12, 2009, 10:32 PM

For me it's kind of weird. I have emotional needs that can't be met by just one sex. My need to feel needed, admired and protector of, is fulfilled by my wife. But my need to feel understood, accepted, protected and loved without being possessed is met by guys. Affection without ownership is what I need sometimes, and I get that from other men, not the mrs. Make sense?

**Realist** · Sep 13, 2009, 8:06 AM

Yes! The desire to be needed is a very powerful emotion. I've grown so close to my GF, because she genuinely needs me....more than any other factor...and, on the same level as our love for each other....it holds us firmly together. Of course, a person's love must equal that need, or it won't work, but it's a magnificent thing, when those two aspects of a relationship are equal.

We may need others, too, from time to time, but our relationship is solid and nothing we do detrimentally reflects on what we have.

**jimisbi** · Sep 13, 2009, 11:49 AM

I am very strongly attracted sexually to men. I love having sex with men, but there is no emotional attraction. I am only emotionally attracted to females and I do like sex with females. If I have to choose between a cock and a pussy for sex, I'll take the cock every time.

**MickeyJohnson** · Sep 13, 2009, 12:07 PM

I can see myself being with a man emotionally.
We all just understand each other more easily. I mean girls are great, just confusing and emotional at times. Guys were just very simple (for lack of a better word.)
Plus with guys theres that whole taboo aspect of being with one romantically. Its like its so "wrong" that it feels right. I wanna go around holding hands and kissin on a guy in public just to have ppl stare. idk but thats just me.

**dodartist** · Sep 13, 2009, 8:39 PM

I may be a little older than some , but for me, I no longer care to have a physical relationship with anyone other than a friend whom I trust and respect. When I am contacted through this site by a male, female, or couple, I always ask that we chat first and get to know each other and then take it from there. For sure, a lot of the people do not respond past that first request, but then I have to wonder what they were looking for in the first place. I see too many people that simply want a physical release and believe that is a sexual encounter. I can have that in my own bedroom with a good movie. I want and need a sensuous, mutually respectful relationship with people who care about my well being as well as whether or not I give good head.
(p.s. the one's who take the time to get to know me have NOT been disappointed) I hope this helps.

**Indaco76** · Sep 14, 2009, 5:10 AM

Originally Posted by joshuasalam

emotional compatibility is a complex thing, but so is sexual attraction. the ideal relationship obviously has both, yet in my life i have tended to be more sexually attracted to women and emotionally attracted to men. how about you?

For me it's exactly the opposite. It's always been easier to fantasize about men, because there were no emotions involved. I am very masculine in my approach to sex, so I guess that makes it easier to imagine an exciting situation where we immediately get "down to business", so to speak. But emotionally, I've always been drawn to women. This is why I had a 10-year long relationship with a gay man: his feminine side satisfied my emotional needs but physically I had a man. In the long run, however, his lack of real attraction for my body made me feel incomplete. I'm now with a lesbian woman with masculine traits, someone with whom I've finally found a strong chemistry and emotional closeness. Still, I miss men (or should I say cock?) sexually, especially around ovulation, when my desire peaks. Relationship-wise, I still think I would not feel ok with a man, but I guess if I were single at the moment I'd seek a male friend with benefits. I do like men as friends, just not romantically. We bisexual folks are complicated!

**footlady** · Sep 14, 2009, 2:16 PM

Hi Joshua,
currently i live with a 22 yo. gay hottie, and i am 52, and i would have to say i am in the minority because my problem is that he is not open to older (transgenerational); let alone that he is gay, and i am a female. However sometimes i wonder if there is not a component of the chemcial and emotional attraction. I know i have both, but i also believe that the younger folks ascribe to society's labels, and then that limits the possibility for love and growth amongst lgbt etc. I think you gotta let things go where they go, and if you are lucky to fall in love then sexual and emotional will fall into place rather nicely by themselves. Then again, i am optimist. I tend to write in lower caps so i do apologize for that.
muah
'follow the path of least resistance'

**diget** · Sep 16, 2009, 6:46 AM

i find myself more sexualy attracted to females and emotionally attracted to males, though i have want to find some one near to me "like a class freind" that i could experiment with that was male.