When was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

[Skater Boy]

So... when was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

Thats a tricky question for me, because I pretty much kept that part of me "compartmentalized". In other words, I never acknowledged it openly, but also, I think I kept it secret from myself for a while too.

Probably the first "sign" that I remember was when I was about 15 or 16... me and a bunch of guys went for a drink and smoke at a local park, and eventually our recreational use of drugs got the better of us...

We decided (for some reason) to pretend we were all gay, and began rolling about in the grass in a way that probably wouldn't have happened had we been sober. We still had our clothes on though.

Anyway, I think it was just "a bit of fun" for the other guys, and I doubt they got much out of it. But I still wonder to this day whether they realised that I had a major stiffy at the time. probably not, as we hung around together for quite a while after that...

Despite all this I still don't think I became completely conscious of my whole sexuality for a bit longer. But I think that was the point where I had at least some idea of what I was.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. If anyone else can remember when it "dawned upon them", feel free to do the same.

[DiamondDog]

Hmmmm I knew when I was 12 or younger and I'd look at bikers, mechanics, rednecks, hairy butch blue collar men, and truckers and get REALLY sexually excited and I used to jack off thinking about my friend's trucker dad and his long beard!

I was "sexual" with guys as a kid it wans't like rape or molestation or anything like that and I was told it was normal and that lots of guys did that by my parents when I got caught masturbating with a friend and I was really young and being sexual with guys wasn't doing much other than like watching each other masturbate, "accidentally" grabbing someone's penis, getting fingered or doing that to someone, putting a plastic toy thermometer in someone's butt, or "accidentally" kissing, and peeing with someone.

All the guys I did that stuff with turned out to be hetero. I have looked back and thought about how if I'd known about oral sex how I would have given it to my one friend and I remember when I was in 5th grade how a friend and I would j/o together and at first I wasn't too sure about it since I was afraid we'd get caught (like I had before with another friend), and he said how if we didn't j/o together how he'd tell everyone at school that I masturbated and I remember thinking "Gee, well what do you think we're doing NOW together????". I also remember that had I been more open about it I would have rubbed my cock on his and I love doing this with men when I have sex with them as an adult!

At 12 I remember looking at porn pictures of naked hairy men kissing in an outdoor shower and this has become ingrained to my memory and I still find outdoor showers, bearded/hairy men kissing to be sexy, and I love to kiss men who are this way like me!

Also when I was 13 I was in a public bathroom at a mall and I saw a HOT guy with a snakeskin jacket, a hunting knife, and a rugged/handsome chiseled face and I watched him piss (not directly looking at his cock, I was just hearing him and watching his body) and it was the sexiest thing I'd EVER seen at the time! Even as an adult I can still get aroused to hearing/watching/smelling men and women piss.

I also remember being turned on by this girl I grew up in my neighborhood with and those types of men and some guys I went to school with that are my age. I think that was in jr highschool, I know it was before highschool and after elementary school.

I knew for sure at 16 with the label and all when I saw a HOT guy and thought about him blowing me and touching his red flattop and rubbing my cock all through his red goatee and stache!

I'd also jerk off thinking about fucking a hot feminine woman with a sexy bearish hairy math teacher I knew in highschool and thinking about blowing him and masturbating all over his hirsute body!

I guess most people realize it when they first have sex with someone of the same/opposite gender or with both at the same time but I've known about my sexuality for a long time and having sex with men and women as an adult just confirmed what I always knew.

[darkeyes]

Hmmmm I knew when I was 12 or younger and I'd look at bikers, mechanics, rednecks, hairy butch blue collar men, and truckers and get REALLY sexually excited and I used to jack off thinking about my friend's trucker dad and his long beard!

I was "sexual" with guys as a kid it wans't like rape or molestation or anything like that and I was told it was normal and that lots of guys did that by my parents when I got caught masturbating with a friend and I was really young and being sexual with guys wasn't doing much other than like watching each other masturbate, "accidentally" grabbing someone's penis, getting fingered or doing that to someone, putting a plastic toy thermometer in someone's butt, or "accidentally" kissing, and peeing with someone.

All the guys I did that stuff with turned out to be hetero. I have looked back and thought about how if I'd known about oral sex how I would have given it to my one friend and I remember when I was in 5th grade how a friend and I would j/o together and at first I wasn't too sure about it since I was afraid we'd get caught (like I had before with another friend), and he said how if we didn't j/o together how he'd tell everyone at school that I masturbated and I remember thinking "Gee, well what do you think we're doing NOW together????". I also remember that had I been more open about it I would have rubbed my cock on his and I love doing this with men when I have sex with them as an adult!

At 12 I remember looking at porn pictures of naked hairy men kissing in an outdoor shower and this has become ingrained to my memory and I still find outdoor showers, bearded/hairy men kissing to be sexy, and I love to kiss men who are this way like me!

Also when I was 13 I was in a public bathroom at a mall and I saw a HOT guy with a snakeskin jacket, a hunting knife, and a rugged/handsome chiseled face and I watched him piss (not directly looking at his cock, I was just hearing him and watching his body) and it was the sexiest thing I'd EVER seen at the time! Even as an adult I can still get aroused to hearing/watching/smelling men and women piss.

I also remember being turned on by this girl I grew up in my neighborhood with and those types of men and some guys I went to school with that are my age. I think that was in jr highschool, I know it was before highschool and after elementary school.

I knew for sure at 16 with the label and all when I saw a HOT guy and thought about him blowing me and touching his red flattop and rubbing my cock all through his red goatee and stache!

I'd also jerk off thinking about fucking a hot feminine woman with a sexy bearish hairy math teacher I knew in highschool and thinking about blowing him and masturbating all over his hirsute body!

I guess most people realize it when they first have sex with someone of the same/opposite gender or with both at the same time but I've known about my sexuality for a long time and having sex with men and women as an adult just confirmed what I always knew.

suspected it soon as me know summat bout sex... very young ne way... always wondered wy me gazed at girls as much if not more than lads.. bout 7 or 8..didn know wot is wos called tho..knew?? bout 13 or 14

[TaylorMade]

I had a lingering conciousness and an obsession with women's breasts since the age of 5 or so, but I guess I don't count that because I wasn't sure WHAT it was my mind was dealing with.

I count The Moment I Knew For Sure. I was 16. I knew I liked guys, but they didn't like me much. I was a little insecure and a little lonely, and used the comfy waterbed in my brother's room to escape and read. I remember the space between the wall and the edge of the bed. I dropped a book between that space, and I found - -my brother's stash of British and American porn mags. I just remember the first two titles I looked at - -Escort and Hustlers Busty Beauties... and I was totally immersed. I didn't learn how to masturbate to orgasm till 6 months after that point, but I came close quite a few times that day, I was scared to death to cum. Don't know why.

All I knew is after that point, I was obsessed with "knowing for sure" that I was bi because sometimes I'd want men, and sometimes I'd want women, but for a long time, I only could cum thinking of a girl.

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

I dropped a book between that space, and I found - -my brother's stash of British and American porn mags. I just remember the first two titles I looked at - -Escort and Hustlers Busty Beauties... and I was totally immersed. I didn't learn how to masturbate to orgasm till 6 months after that point, but I came close quite a few times that day, I was scared to death to cum. Don't know why.

All I knew is after that point, I was obsessed with "knowing for sure" that I was bi because sometimes I'd want men, and sometimes I'd want women, but for a long time, I only could cum thinking of a girl.

Haha, yeah, I found one of my brother's porn videos when I was about 12 or so. It was a just a video tape with "The Running Man" written on the side, so one day, I thought, hey... I haven't seen "The Running Man" for ages and sat down to watch it. lets just say that Arnie was no-where to be seen!!! It was a hetero porn vid though. But that suited me, because I got to see both a girl and a guy going at it. I'm really not sure if I was paying more attention to the girl or guy... I was pretty much a hetero at that stage of my life, but there was probably a hidden curiosity in the back of my mind about guys. but I did get off on watching the video... I quite liked being voyeuristic on hetero sex... and I suppose I still do...

[warmpuppy]

I was 10. My cousin took me behind the school. He dropped my shorts, started playing with my pee-pee and kissed me. I remember it feeling nice. I still had my young crushes on some of the girls in the area, but I always looked forward to those kissing and touching encounters. He turned out to be totally gay.

It wasn't until I had been in the AF for 12 years that I actually had my first total man-love experience.

[Skater Boy]

I was 10. My cousin took me behind the school. He dropped my shorts, started playing with my pee-pee and kissed me. I remember it feeling nice.

LOL, with your COUSIN no less! Now if I were a moral man, I might judge you on that, but I'm not, so I won't...

[Johnny Reb]

When I was about 13, I got ahold of my dad's old hustlers and playboys. I liked what I saw. I took my friends into the camper, and we took off our pants to masterbate. I liked what I saw there too. I didn't understand what it meant to be bi or what bi was. I just knew I liked what I saw all around....so we made out.

[ohbimale]

I was around 11 or 12 years old. My parents enrolled me in swimming class. There was this one boy who liked to masturvate after swim class. So we started masturbating together. I liked the way his cock felt in my hand.

Later I started waking off to pics of guys and girls. I got a stiffy at the drop of a hat if a guy or girl turned me on. At that point - around 12 - I knew I was not hetero, but had no idea what it was called. Later in my twenties I came to the realization I am bisexual. All my life I have always been turned on by both sexes, most times more by men. It was not until I was 26 that I got to have my first male lover, while I had 3 female lovers too - not all together though. I have only had one sexual encounter with two others and that MMF encounter was very enjoyable.

[meteast chick]

I remember just being absolutely enamored with glamorous women as a child, and when I came into my sexuality I was turned on by these women and didn't know what it meant. I first had sex with a man (boy, really), when I was a month shy of 15 and that same year I told my cousin aka best friend that I liked girls too but didn't know what to do about it. She confessed that too but we always kept it between us.

I always said I was bi to those in my bed but really no more than bicurious. Last year at age 28, upon the demise of my marriage I finally came out to my best friend as officially bisexual. She said "FINALLY!!!!" I'll go as far as to say that I think I lean more homosexual than heterosexual but only time will tell on that one, until then...I can I like the term homoflexible!!!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
meteast

[Skater Boy]

Nice profile photos Meteast... I have to admit that I kinda regret getting my tatoos... but hey, I was young and stoopid... Maybe I'll get 'em lasered off one day...

[mike9753]

As I thought about your question I'd have to say it happened twice - over time. When I was in college in the 60's I went to a gay bath. I think I knew what it was before I went. Anyway I had an incredible experience. But I felt guilty about it as many guys do the first time. But I think at some level I knew that I enjoyed sex with men, as well as friendships with me - in addition to my attraction for women both sexually and interpersonally. But I didn't know what to call it - this feeling I had for both sexes.

As the years went on, I had a few other experiences - mild ones. A little oral action with a guy, who like me was curious, and decided not to reciprocate and left the encounter - leaving me satisfied that I had enjoyed him, but dissatisfied that I had not gotten to know him.

Then I got married and was faithful to my wife until she decided she wanted a divorce. When things deteriorated to the point where I knew it was over, I began to explore again. I guess at this point I came face to face with the reality that I was turned on by m2m sex. I had called a phone sex line and the woman was dominant. She helped me explore my fantasies which included same sex SEX. At the time, I had many close friends who were heterosexual and all married, so there was no opportunity to explore a male relationship of an intimate but non-sexual nature, but the fantasies were incredible.

Then I met another woman. I am married to her now. She and I have had a wonderful marriage. But she has become plagued with a variety of physical problems which make it very hard for her to feel sexual at all. We go for long periods without being sexually intimate and when we do, I have the feeling that she is participating just because she loves me, not because she feels any sexual arousal.

So this has spurred me to again explore my feelings for men and for sex with men. I now know that if I were single again I would be open to relationships with men and with women - it would be with the person, regardless of their sex. I feel I can have a successful sexual relationship with members of either sex.

My wife and I have talked about this to some degree. She has frequently seen me on this website and w have talked about my feelings. She knows how much I love her and that I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage - but she also knows that I am very sexual and am open to a variety.

So I think I have come to grips with my orientation. It's taken a lifetime. A little trial and error. A lot of soul searching.This website has been great in helping me explore this - and in learning about the struggle that others have gone thru.

Mike

[TheThreeOfUs]

I was in high school, staying at my best friends house, she got undressed to get in the shower and I thought HOLY CRAP LOOKIE THERE!!! LOL Once I saw her I had feelings I hadnt thought about before but I knew right then, I was bi. Thinking back on the moment, damn she was hot!

[Nate22]

Hi, this is my first post.

To be honest, since I've felt any sort of sexual feelings they've been for both genders. I don't really remember a first time as such, I just took it as normal. Of course I still kept it quiet.

[Skater Boy]

Hi, this is my first post.

Welcome to the forum, Nate!!! Nice to see there are some more Bi men in London.

[bohemian69]

Looking back at my life, I realized that I was bi from a young age. During high school, I dated just girls, but did not fully understand my attraction to the guys.
It was not until after I had graduated that I began to explore my bi side. I really did not think of it as bi or gay sex, to me it as really hot sex that felt really good.
I guess I still look at it that way even now.

[swans]

In my mid teens on a camping holiday with a school mate. After bothe getting drunk we just ended up sucking each others cocks as though it was the most natural thing to do together. And we both loved it so much, especially at the end when we finished each other off in a 69 eating each others hot thick young cum.

[Pensive]

I was always really curious as a kid, so the moment I found out about porn (I was probably about 10), I started to look around the internet (my family has always been very big on technology, so we had internet access long before it was something everyone had) to learn more about it. It didn't really start out as something sexual, but curiousity shifted into just plain old horniness. At first I was very big into normal hetero porn, but I have always had an attraction towards what is forbidden, so eventually I started getting into pornography that was less vanilla and more exotic. I eventually realized that I was very turned on by young men in a submissive position, especially to other men.

At first I went through a huge denial phase where I told myself "I just like it because I have a fetish... but I'd totally want to do that with a girl." But after a while I realized that I was pretty much jacking off to 80% guys, I finally decided to stop lying to myself in my own head. I was in my Christian phase at this point (Yeah, and heavily addicted to porn at the same time. I used to feel so terrible about it...), so I decided that I had screwed myself up by sinning so much, and that if I was going to enjoy a normal heterosexual existence I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating completely. That didn't work. So then I told myself I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating to guys completely. That didn't work either. Finally I settled on a cycle of binging on porn and then purging on guilt, prayer, and Bible reading. I realized at that point that I was staunchly bisexual and not going to change anytime soon. I just decided I had to completely repress half of my nature.

It wasn't until years later, after a long time of gradually shifting away from silly ideas that I fully accepted myself as bi and realized that there was nothing wrong with that. But that's another story entirely. I guess it was more of a process for me than a sudden realization, although I do distinctly remember one night when I had the realization "I am sexually attracted to boys." Talk about exhilirating and scary at the same time.

[Skater Boy]

I was in my Christian phase at this point (Yeah, and heavily addicted to porn at the same time. I used to feel so terrible about it...), so I decided that I had screwed myself up by sinning so much, and that if I was going to enjoy a normal heterosexual existence I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating completely. That didn't work. So then I told myself I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating to guys completely. That didn't work either. Finally I settled on a cycle of binging on porn and then purging on guilt, prayer, and Bible reading.

Dude, religion can really screw you up... what is it Karl Marx says? "Religion is merely a tool for oppressing the masses" (at least I think that was him). I was raised as a Christian, but I don't think I EVER truly believed in it all. These days I try and keep an open mind, but I have to admit that I am not a big fan of most religions... especially those like Christianity and Islam which take negative attitudes toward homosexuality. Its not that I don't specifically believe in God (although I probably don't really). But just that I don't feel welcome in most of those religions. Not sure about Budhism though... its perhaps the only religion I think I might like.

Anyway... how does the lyric go again? Ah yes: "There's more than one way to heaven", and we would all probably do well to remember that.

[versatileguy]

When I went to college (long ago) , I was stunned by the numbers of gays and the sexual variety in general. Being from a small town, I was somewhat overwhelmed by it all and was a bit intimidated about sex in general. I was scared by sexual approaches by women and (to my shock) men. I really hadn't ever had a sexual relation with anyone until a very aggressive woman had her way with me by the end of my sophomore year.

In spite of this, I was always open minded and had a number of friends that were openly gay or bi, but it never really occurred to me to have sex with other males--no fantasies nor curiousity. I did feel flattered by being attractive to some of these guys, yet uncomfortable.

Then while having a little herbal enjoyment with a gay friend that I know was strongly attracted to me, he changed his jeans and I caught a glance of him tucking his semi-erect cock into his pants. Out of nowhere, I had a sudden burning desire, to call him over to me as I sat on his bed, unzip his fly and suck his cock.

I didn't do it. I was surprised and confused by my feelings, but from that moment on a curiousity was sparked and opened a flood gate of bisexual/gay fantasies.

Not long thereafter, I began to consider myself bi and admitted to girls that I was dating that I considered myself bi, but was not ready to practice it. I felt I had to get the hang of girls first.

Pretty strange, I guess, but that's how it came to be.

[tinkslite]

The First Time is a loaded subject because I sort of had 3 "First Times".

When I was 10 or so my cousin and I used to "explore" one another during sleepovers. I remember that she used to want one of us to "pretend to be a boy." I was like "Yea, ok whatever." She could call me Joey or Steve if she wanted to as long as she would continue making out with me and letting me feel her up in the dark! I had no language to name my attraction to girls or anything. I had crushes on women and girls as often as I did on boys and men.
The ones on boys and men I could talk about and the one ones on women and girls I learned to keep to myself.

In high school I had a huge thing for my best friend. I realize now, it was mutual. We flirted and joked with boyfriends saying, "we share EVERYTHING!" I think we were kind of cruel to those poor boys, without meaning to be. I was abused at home, and spent many nights at this friends home. She was the most beautiful, confident, strong girl..I wanted her, and I wanted to be like her.
One night she invited me to go to a party at her current boyfriends home. I had never drunk alcohol before (I was 17 and a bit goody goody).....She had tried and explored alcohol and other recreational drugs. Never pressured me, knew that I liked to keep control of my senses. But that night I drank, and drank, and DRANK! I was quite ill around 11 and went to the bathroom to relieve myself of the ridiculous amount of alcohol that I had consumed. My dear Friend escorted me to the bathroom (carried me, practically)and stayed with me while I relieved myself of all that alcohol.
Afterword she found me a toothbrush still in the packaging, and assisted me into a bed. We were ignited. We wound up making out and I mean with PASSION! I had never had an orgasm at that point, and I am convinced I would have that night. BUT we were interupted by her BF (his bedroom, it turned out). I felt badly about what we had put him through, and she and I never came together physically ever again.
The third time was many years later when my husband was active in fighting a ballot initiative designed to make it illegal for our home state to legally recognize same sex marriages performed elsewhere. He asked me if I had ever been attracted to other women or acted out on the attraction. The former stories came flooding back at that point. Bless his pointed little head. My husband has been nothing but loving and supportive since that night.

[pokeme]

The first time I realised I was bi, was straight after my mate had just blown me.

[Herbwoman39]

When I was finally able to accept even the concept of being bisexual, it was 3 days before my 38th birthday. We were at Dad's Garage in Atlanta watching Caridad Svich's "Self Made" during a performance of 8 1/2 x 11.

There were two incredibly stunning women on stage for the play. The blond had me transfixed. I was mesmerized by her movements. She was violence and passion all in one swirling movement. During the performance I realized that I wanted to be with her...to feel the texture of her skin under my fingertips...to feel her writhe like that against me.

It scared the living crap out of me. After all at that point I had convinced myself I was straight. I was in denial.

After a great deal of self examination I realized that the performance had merely triggered that part of me. I remembered being 9 years old and being excited by the half-naked native women in my mother's National Geographic magazines.

I was able to look at the sleepover with a girlfriend where we kissed and petted in a much more positive light. She knew me better than I knew myself.

So...I'm bi. I'm a bi virgin. I really want to remedy that situation. But that's a story for another thread.

[mtb0509]

I can't think of one particular instance, and heck, I'm still coming to grips with my bisexuality. I wish I could remember the first time I thought of another man in the same way I would think about women.

I think I could lead it back to a particular friend of mine. I've known him for a little over 2 years now and I had and still have the biggest crush on him. I just feel like there's something between us. Shortly after first meeting him, I felt like some sort of deep connection between us, so that might've been it.

But then also when I came to college for the first time in fall of 05, I had a gay roommate and met a bunch of gay people and that got my slowly thinking of things like "I wonder what it's like for them to be with another guy" or "I wonder what it's like to kiss another guy". Slowly that built up to "I want to experience what they're experiencing and see what happens".

I've still yet to have a homosexual experience, but I'd like to come out to my friend as being bicurious and see what happens. Heck just now I joined that downelink site as a recommendation from someone here, but then I quickly deleted that. I don't want to do this the lame overrated myspace way (side note: I proudly deleted my myspace many months ago and have never looked back).

[Skater Boy]

I just wanna thank EVERYONE who's contributed to this thread so far. I've found it very enlightening, and have been really touched by your stories about how it happened for you. I hope that since coming to this "realization" you all find what you are looking for, and achieve happiness.

[thefarside3]

I was about 13 or so. My best mate and I started making a habit of jacking off whenever we stayed at each other's houses. We'd just wank looking at each other. That pretty much started it for me.

[othamble2]

My first time is when a neighbor and I exchange blow jobs around age 11. I am not sure what lead us to try it but I do remember him always acting gayish. I really enjoyed it as it was my first sexual experience. Years went by without any further thoughts or actions. At age 19 I was approached by a guy who had offered me a ride home, he flirted with me and offered to suck my cock. I refused but I thought about it for days and then on another late night I was walking home he offer me a ride. That time I was a feeling no pain and decided to allow him to play with and suck my cock. Maybe three more rides with him and then I never came in contact with him anymore. At age 35 my neighbor in a new neighborhood started making flirting slurs at me like whistling at me when I been over in front of him and rubbing the middle of my finger when we shake hands. On several occasions he came very close to getting a blow job from me but i was to nervous and not dominant as I guess we both wanted the other to take charge as we would drink together. Well when I did finaly get up the nerves to go for it he became scared and mention he couldn't cheat on his wife and reality set in and reminded me I was going in the wrong direction. However, after those ordeals with him I would be at the gym and see that gay or bi guys would be looking at my cock in the shower and playing with theirs and I would get so hard. Thats when I final realized and admitted to self that I am bi but dont publicly announce it.

[miamiuu]

Growing up I fantasized about having sex with some guys but itseemed to be a power or control issue cus I would think about people that bullyed me. I didnt have any close male friends till about 22 in college and fell in love with a guy but barely knew him. Messed me up a lot emotionally so rather than denying the fact that sometimes i care alot about other guys i decided it was easier to just accept the way i feel and not try to explain it away. The first actual video i ever got off to having to do with guy sex starred alec baldwin and it wasa mystery about how a cadet got killed. Well in the movie there is a pretty violent scene where it kind of depicts the two guys in a river and one dude rapes the other guy from behind with water splashing and stuff. It was enough to get me turned on.

[MikeC]

I didn't realize it at the time, but when I was about 13, I spent a couple of weeks at a friend's summer home. He and I bunked in the attic. One night while lying in our beds, he put up a picture of a naked woman he had taken from one of his father's Playboy Magazines. We both had erections, and then he laughingly took off his underwear to let his stand straight up. I did the same, and we were both laughing at our erect cocks. I really enjoyed being hard in front of him, and seeing his hard cock. I later snuck down to the bathroom to jerk off. We also went skinny dipping together which I really liked.
When I as about 21, I had been out drinking and having no luck with the ladies, so I went to another friend's house who I thought might be inclined (he was). We continued drinking in his parent's basement, and I suggested we play a game of strip poker. It wasn't long before we were both naked. And then it just happened...we layed down head to toe to one another, and started fondling each other. I came pretty quickly. Another time after drinking, we dispensed with the poker game, and got naked right away. We rubbed our bodies against one another, and eventually wound up in a 69.
Nothing happened again for many years, but I had a lot of "almosts" in showers and steam rooms at a gym I once belonged to.....stroking, and watching other guys stroke themselves, but no contact. My wife knew of my prior experiences, as she had had a couple of her own. She's ok with my bisexuality as she considers herself bi also...although not active.
To make a long story short, the opportunity to stroke another guy presented itself, and I went for it. In that instant, I realized how much I liked it, and that being bi was part of who I am. Since then, I've had a six-year relationship with one guy...who my wife knows, and approves of.

[Skater Boy]

Welcome to the forum, MikeC... and thanks for sharing your special story!