The Party's Over

[darkeyes]

Some members may remember that once I had decided to leave the site because of the attentions of another member which so upset me that I just couldnt take the stress. Thanks to the love and support provided by so many of you I overcame this fear, and learned to deal with it. Rana, my lovely Curio, Allbi and others so eased my mind that with time I grew once again to be without fear and to enjoy the love the fun and often basic grossness of the chat.

And when ill recently and hospitalised, you will never know just how much I felt to be a part of your lives, and the support shown meant so much.

My time has been so wonderfully happy but now it is time to move on. Quite simply I dont feel any longer worthy of the friendship and love which you have provided.

I havent mentioned Kate, but no one has ever given me such support and shown me such love and no one less deserves to be treated as I have her. Some are probably aware of at least some of it, but Kate and I have seperated, but Im not going to go into it here. That it involves someone else goes without saying, but whatever you hear to the contrary, no one but no one is to blame for my mess other than myself. Not Katherine and certainly not the other person for whom I developed such a deep affection and dare I use the word, love? These two have been so hurt by my selfishness thoughtlessness and bloody stupidity I am having problems living with myself. I am not the wisest person on the planet am I?

I am struggling to cope without Kate and trying to rebuild at least something of what we had. Not apparently with any great success so far. Only time is gonna tell and if I thought there was the remotest chance of the existence of some kind of God Id be on my knees praying every day until she came home.

I have over the last wee while tried not to look at the site, far less enter but have found it so difficult. It has grown to mean so much and keeps pulling me back. Now before I do any more damage to those I care for I must end it. For my own sanity if for no other reason.

Ive said enough. Too much probably. Ive mentioned Curio, Allbi the cooth and the wonderful Rana. Several others I will miss ever so and it breaks my heart. CSRAKate, my loverly mumsy, Smurfie to name but two. I could go on forever.
But thank you one and all. I will treasure your memory. I love you all and will miss you dreadfully.

Forgive me all.

Me luvs yas all. Ta an b happy an bad!!!

Fran xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Farewell dear friends
My time is done
May life be all that you wish
And the muses kind
I leave our world with sadness and regret
But memory so long as there is life in my soul
Shall never allow me, with love, to forget.

[Long Duck Dong]

i know ye not... but ye pain is something we all share

let no-one be the judge of you for your actions, for a persons heart, soul and mind becomes their own judge, jury and excutioner

I don't know if I have met you in the site... but in my eyes, I joined the site and the *family * so in my eyes that entitles me to give you a big hug, a kiss on the cheek and a map back to the front door cos as big as the world is....its just not too big that we can't reach out to friends and * family * lol

take care and keep ya heart soft and warm and ya smile bright

[allbimyself]

My dear Fran,

I'm so sorry you feel that you have to leave us. We're your friends and always will be. If coming to this site causes you pain, I can understand your reluctance to be here. BUT, you should not leave because you do not feel "worthy" of our friendship and love. We are the ones to decide who is worthy of our love and though it breaks my heart to learn of your seperation from Kate, you both still remain my friends.

I hope you will reconsider. These are the times when you need your friends the most and we will be here for you.

All my love

Allbi

[csrakate]

Ditto what Allbi said!!!....(and very well said I might add!!)

Hugs,
Kate

[rupertbare]

Well sh*t (((((((((DarkEyes)))))))))))))

I hope you visit the site just one last time to see how much you will be missed by us all!!!!!!!

with love and peace to you and yours

Rupe
Chat in the morning in th UK wont' be the same without you!!

[*foxy_roxy*]

I'm sorry to hear you are leaving my dear friend. I will miss you so much. You are definately worthy of our friendship, and I hope that you realise how much we will miss you.

I'm so sorry about you and Kate.

I will miss you so much.

Rox
xx xx xx xx

[ladydelanie]

Darkeyes,

Hugs........My thoughts of love and peace go out to you.
Allbi is correct, we love those that we feel are worthy of our love!
There are no words we can say to take away your pain. All we can do is be here for you if you allow us.
If not, please know you are in our thoughts, and in our prayers.

Please know we are here for you if you need us.

Ladyd

[arana]

Frances get your ass back here!!!! You made a mistake, that's for you and Kate to sort out, not us. We're your friends and we love you both. We all do stupid things from time to time and our friends are there to help us through it and make fun of us about them later. Please don't say you're not worthy of our friendship. Just come back and let us be there for you as you would any one of us if we needed.

Please Fran!

[chook]

Well for starters Darkeyes please dont leave and I'm sure in given time you and Kate will sort everything out.....But it does take time.

Secondly NO ONE should be coming into this chatroom expecting to be worthy of anybodies love I didnt know we had a self appointed committee that decides who should or shouldnt be part of "the group" I thought we were all supposed to come in here and chat and be friends with everyone regardless of any personal goings on.

Anyway Darkeyes I'm sure you have some very good friends in the room that, like me dont want to see you go so please reconsider and I hope to see and chat with you again real soon.

Cheers Chook

[Driver 8]

Frances get your ass back here!!!!

Arana, you put it so clearly

And I agree. Communities are bigger than the individual people in them ... and bigger than the problems that arise between individuals. Frannie, it's your choice, and if you need some time away that's understandable ... but you shouldn't be driven away from a community that cares about you just becaus of something like this.

[usedbear1950]

Yeah, what they all said. Park ur arse, we'll pass the tissues, cry ur bloody eyes out and then give it up and go on to the next thing. Don't leave us! What the hell will we do without you?


ur ever luvin
usedbear

[onewhocares]

Darkeyes,

Please do not leave because you think you are do not belong here, we ALL belong here. Just look above and it should show you how much you are cared for. Allbi and Arana are so correct in their words of truth. Everyone, me included have come to this room, this site and these wonderful compassionate friends who have given me strength and guidence in difficult times. We care, remember that.

Belle

[Flounder1967]

I don't see the need to leave. I think you should stay and let us laugh and cry with you.

[CuddlyKate]

You are such a lovely lot of people. For the first time I think here I am sitting in floods of tears I really realise just what Frances sees in you. Its not for me to tell her how to react. She wont give up the smokes for a start, but the ban up here on smoking in pubs and clubs will cramp her style!!! Like her Im fond of so many of you and what has happened between her and me well its something we might or might not be able to fix. I know the sentiments have been aimed at Fran, but I know equally for some have said so they are aimed at me in some small way. She can be such a silly cow at times. Daft irresponsible too clever by half. And incredibly funny. It wasnt easy to walk out the door. I love her no less now than at any time in our relationship but whether we can ever fix it I cant say. Ive had super shoulders to cry on. My little Smurfie for one, as well as some great friends up here.

Im ok. Weepy mizzy and feeling sorry for myself as you would expect. Bloody angry too. But Frances is Frances. Please believe me when I say though somewhat agitated and yes angry at times, I dont bear any ill will to the other girl involved. If I can be attracted to and fall for Tidgy why not someone else? She is an easy person to fall for. But Jeez hard work at times! And untidy. I do NOT miss picking up her dirty knickers from the bedroom floor. Yes I do. At least I miss moaning about it!! I dont miss (not in the least) emptying her ash trays! And I certainly do not miss the mess in the shower!!! I do however miss falling over our empties after a hard nights drinking. But then some of that was my mess.

I will say this to you all. The last year or so has been the most wonderful time of my life. I regret nothing, except the end. Against my better judgement I fell for someone so opposite to me really. Who is really quite nuts. She has hurt me sure. Im angry and seething yes. Hate her? No one hates the silly bitch. I never could. What iIdo say is I dont know we can fixit. Trust has been really screwed and Im not sure just how to deal with that fact of life. Can it be gotten back? I wish I knew.

I end by saying what I began with. Im not like Fran. Im not a great or natural chatter. But you are quite the most amazing bunch of people I know. You take in people for all their flaws and try and understand. I have no intention of telling her how to react to your posts. She only ever listens when she wants to anyway. What I can say is that if she has half the brain I know her to have she will maintain her contact with people she loves and have given her so much.

[arana]

Aw Miss (((((((((((( Kate )))))))))))))))))))) I do hope that you are ok sweetie. I love you both and hope that things can be worked out.

[huneypot]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((cuddlykate))))))))))))))) )))))))

[DÆMØN]

CuddlyKate:You are such a lovely lot of people. For the first time I think here I am sitting in floods of tears I really realise just what Frances sees in you

I too, have tears running down my face. I don't know If we've met, but allready You're being missed M'Lady Darkeyes. Take time for yourself, and on your journey once more discover that love in all its forms is truly uncondittional if you can find in deep down within the courage to nuture it in time it will bloom once more fair petals of cozy warmth that belonging to a family like this can bring.

Shine forevermore M'Lady Darkeyes... self worth outweights worthiness.

And when you feel the drawing swell anew ... back to us do fly with a happy heart.

DÆMØN

[funtimebiman47]

Darkeyes, I fell in love with your brains and wit real fast. I hope you can find some peace in your mind and life.
Hugs, Fun

[darkeyes]

Christ u lot r summat else. Till my dying day I shall never forget this display of love and affection so freely offered and so lovingly given. As I type through misty eyes wiping huge dobbers off me keyboard you just cant know how much it means to me.Tonight Ive been sitting answering messages which have been sent it has quite taken me breath away. Not quite as breathless as a great shag but close. More so than a very good one I can tell u that. Even people I dont know and have never spoken to or even heard of have expressed such support for me in forum . What an amazing community we are. And I use we for whether I ever come back or not I remain a part of this community. That does not change.

From the bottom of my heart thank you every bloody one of you. I really dont deserve it but to be a member of such a genorously spirited community is privilige. Maybe who knows the day will come I feel I can once again chat as I always have with u all and laugh and be absolutely disgraceful and share problems and row and feel able to do what u lot have done for me these last few days. But for now I just feel unable to. I hope so but things are just too hard and self pity and guilt are awful masters. I was going to say mistresses but they must be men. All the shite they make ya suffer. (A Fran joke.. not funny? o well!!!!!!! I tried) Too many of u mean too much to me for me to simply say I will never ever be back with certainty. But for now I have to end it. Apart from me only two people are aware of all of the reasons but I want you to understand and accept what im doing is for now not only desirable but necessary.

Thank you all for your love and friendship and love. I know the sentiments expressed to me are meant as much for old naggyknickers and that makes them doubly heart felt.

And a special one for Drew. We have never spoken but were it not for you where would I have met an b luvved by so many fabulous people? What uve done for us, for me is outa this world.

I ask everyone now. Please. No more messages. You just make it so hard for me to do what I must and think is right for me at this point. When I finish this I will sign out and make my peace as best I can with my life and please should my muse be kind, with Kate. We never get everything we wish out of life any of us but naggy will do for starters thank you very much.

I love you all


Fran xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS Kate is a sadist. Goin on bout me fags an this effin smokin ban. Its awful. Bloody politicians an health freaks. Dirty Knickers??? Ash Trays??? Mess in the shower??? Bollox! Neva

[usedbear1950]

I understood about half of what you said and could give a good fuck about the rest...take some time off, lick your wounds and come back after awhile.

ur ever luvin
usedbear

[smurf111978]

My Dearest Kate & Fran

Please accept my sincerest apologies for taking so long to post i have been with out Bband for over 2 days and only on dial up now.

I love you both so much I am deeply sadend by your parting and have shed more than a few tears. I hope from the bottom of my heart you are able to work through the issues and get back together. You seem so right together as a couple and I know you both love each other very much, I feel so very upset at the thought of you not being together.

Fran, if you need to take a break from here then by all means do so but please dont leave all together, the thought of loosing touch with you is very upsetting for me. Both you, and Kate have done so much for me since I have known you. Please dont go now.

Please if there is anything I can do to help, or any of you need a shoulder to cry on get in touch (will pm details)

With all my love to you both
Smurfie
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo