lust or love

[adamjomith]

As a married guy with great family life but still occasionally has "horny-ness" towards another man, previously I truly believe this kind of desire is lust. Sneak to adult video arcade and get sucked, it was a total release and that can last quite a while.

It seems not the recent story anymore. I happened to meet a guy online (notorious CL ). At the beginning, we went out for coffee and had a great chat. The conversation went on several times, we found we have some many similar interest. We start to fond each other, kissing and mutual JO very naturally. When we got together again, it was my first time willing to suck somebody and even tried to swallow his cum (not successful ). Now, he seems want back to his "normal" life. We were both not "out". I have strong feeling towards him, it is definitely not sex desire, it is the feeling that I have for my first girl. I believe, for bi guys like me, once in a committed situation, even the desire toward same sex still here, it is more of lust rather than love. How can this happen?? A LOVE toward both man and women at the same time? Even the weirdest idea came to me: being monogamous with my wife and him ?

I am confused.

[Realist]

Adam,

With humans, almost anything is possible. You are now experiencing something some of us found earlier in life; two of the same gender CAN and DO find love with each other.

And yes, it is possible for you to be in love with more than one person.....and to be monogamous with them, too. You're just beginning to know what most of us have known for a long time. It can hurt when those we care for don't love us as we want them to, though.

One thing you said bothered me a little...............

You said: "Now, he seems want back to his "normal" life." I assume you meant he's had second thoughts and wants NOT to be with you again. If that is the case, you can't make him feel something he doesn't feel.

I've known of others who tried same-sex encounters once, or twice, then never returned to it again. They either found that it wasn't as they expected, or other forces took over. Guilt brought on by moral, or religious backgrounds, may have intervened. Perhaps that's what your guy has done.

Anyway, your journey is just beginning! Be smart and smart.

[tenni]

Adam
I agree with Realist. You have just discovered something about yourself and your emotional as well as sexual attraction/ability. Many guys separate the emotion aspect and see it as merely physical. Some remain that way. You are now aware that you are capable of having an emotional attachment to both women and men. As Realist stated, this is a possibility. I also see your concept of monogamy but it apparently is polyamour by term. Regardless of the term, you have awakened an aspect of yourself.

Some may urge you to begin a discussion with your wife. Personally, I suggest taking some time to explore your thoughts and feelings on your own first. Perhaps even a discussion with a counsellor that is supportive of bisexual married men. You may one day find another man that you connect with and is more open to continue the exploration of such an intimate friendship. This other man may also change his mind. He may just be "freaked out" for a moment. Offer to keep the door open for him if he changes his mind. You never know.

[adamjomith]

thanks for the suggestions. Realist and Tenni. It is quite a shock when I realize the emotion part of guy to guy. Now I am seem accept it. Me and this guy had an interesting and deep conversation regarding our encounters. And we both agree, one day anybody feels more about the family responsibility and social roles, we do not need any explanation to the other one and we will respect that. I guess, he is feeling what we'd discussed. I really wish him best and like keep a little room for him in my heart.

I felt much better now. Thanks guys.

[BfloBiFun]

I can relate, I NEVER thought I could be romantically "in love" with a guy. It happened, and we were both freaked out about it when it happened. To top it off we both cross-dress and are "manly" acting & do "manly" things together ( do girlie things too, lol). It has been a year now, and . . . . OMG we are "in love" still. We both still like & have been with real girls (gg's) that we have met while together this past year. Yes it is weird I guess . . . below is a pic of us . . . hope it works out for you . . . .

[ubersmack]

I must be a complete aberration to the human race. I lust after men, but have a love in my life that is completely hetero. I have never loved men. I have had sex with men and women, but I only love one person. She has my physical and emotional attraction. She holds the key to my heart. Yet, in my life, there are indeed others. I have had fantasic sex with men and women, but never loved them. So I would call my encounters based out of LUST. I want them for a single piece of time, so that we are able share a completely physical state that emerses us in pleasure, but we never share an emotional bond beyond friendship.

[cornholejoe]

with men it is just lust marreid men get together with other men becaused they are just looking for nsa sex

[darkeyes]

Does your wife know that you are bisexual and have sex with other people besides her?

*Thinks* Now just who, who, who and maybe even who does this remind me of in the dim an distant and even not so dim an distant past??

Stop thinkin so hard Fran, yas'll do ya lil pea brain an injury...

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You're just feeling infatuation or being horny with lust. Or maybe you want what you can't have?

Yep Fran. I have that same feeling.....But I've noticed that with this one right from the git go.
Cat

[darkeyes]

You're just feeling infatuation or being horny with lust. Or maybe you want what you can't have?

Yep Fran. I have that same feeling.....But I've noticed that with this one right from the git go.
Cat

We r indeed 2 luffly an ver perceptive tarts Cat!!

[NotLostJustWandering]

Does your wife know that you are bisexual and have sex with other people besides her?

You're just feeling infatuation or being horny with lust. Or maybe you want what you can't have? If you were seeing this guy all the time and it was not a hook up like it was I doubt you'd feel the same way about him. You even said yourself how you have a much stronger bond and romance with your wife that you simply do not get from men at all.

Welcome back, L3st4t.