Me and my wife are believers in polyamory. anyone else:three:
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Me and my wife are believers in polyamory. anyone else:three:
^Waves^
I believe in it. I'm in a poly relationship at the moment. It was actually my partner who openned me up to the idea, or at least the realisation I was already thinking about it with my romantic ideas of eventually ending up in a triad.
I feel, so long as all parties concerned are aware of what's going on and consenting, then there's little to no reason why it shouldn't work.
I've chatted with a few here.
My hubby and I are working on developing a long-term relationship with another couple. We want to become true friends before we become sexual with them.
Other's I've encountered here are more into groups of 3.
We are also polyamorous. We are looking for a live in partner.
I believe bipizzaguy...it just depends on the people involved.
I was in two great polyamory* relationships. One with a husband and wife and one with two women. In both cases we knew each other for some time, became friends and then, finally, we were sexual. Those were successful. One lasted a little over a year and one lasted about 2 years. Honesty, openness and compatibility are absolutely necessary, if there's going to be peace. I attempted a third relationship, but it was unsuccessful. It began OK, but jealousy arose it's ugly head and everything was quickly lost. It was well worth a try, though.
* Spelling?
*Afraid to speak up as the last several times he was tarred and feathered*
I am. Been this way all my life. For some it's something they believe in and practice, for me it was something that came naturally. I found myself in love with several simultaneously. Never acted on it, but was nevertheless in love.
I believe in it with all my heart.
Back in ancient times, records were recorded in "mono", which meant you had to have one of everything. Then came along stereo, which freaked peopled at first because you needed two of everything. Two amplifiers, two speakers, etc. Lots of money. Then about 1972 the industry tried to sell us quadraphonic, where you needed four of everything. Four corners in the room - four speakers. Made perfect sense.
A reel-to-reel tape deck could handle four channels, and eight-track could have four channels twice vs. 2 channels 4 times. But the cassette had problems because Phillips had a requirement that any cassette must play in any machine. That meant 4 sets of two tracks on each tape, and the tape was too thin to allow alignment to the heads, so that was a problem. So cassettes were out. But somebody invented the El-cassette, which being much larger could support 8 tracks. But they were yet another hardware standard.
Then there were the records. They used something called the matrix method to encode the other two channels on the stereo. But there were overlapping matrix standards, and that caused problems. And RCA had its own 4-channel records, but they needed a decoder that was not matrix compatible.
So if you wanted to be the quadraphonic expert in the neighborhood, you needed to get rid of half the furniture to place the speakers, and buy a zillion different pieces of electronics, and set up a complicated switch network, and buy a bunch of new tape decks. Then you had the problem of finding the music in the various formats.
Beats me why, but quadraphonic went the way of the wringer washer.
You can love the music, or love the technology, or both. Or you can just rise and fall with the moment. Or listen to the birds sing.
I have a one-track mind so I don't think I could ever get an 8-track relationship to work out. But, I do have some old 8-track tape cassettes.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaybeSayMaybe
Quote:
Originally Posted by BootyShakin
And as sure as I am that ice is COLD, here we have the very reason I do not usually open my mouth. The intolerance is stunning. Do these people wait to see some talk of Polyamory and then create a drone account just to make these comments?
I am poly too :D
me and my wife are currently in a polly amorous relationship with another woman
I've been thinking about saying more about polyamory, so why not say it in this thread?
From what I've been reading and hearing, there are a lot of different ways for people to be polyamorous. Some people equate being poly with cheating. I disagree, although I'm sure that there are poly people who do cheat.
I think it's important if you are in a long-term relationship with another person for you to be honest and open about what you are looking for in your relationships. If the people in your LTR share your relationship goals and you only engage in activities that they feel comfortable with, I don't see how that could be considered cheating.
What bothers me is that some people here, who are not poly, seem to be passing judgment on those of us that are. They assume, I think, that all people who are poly are into having casual sex with multiple partners. Or maybe they've been in a relationship that they thought was monogamous (which is what they wanted) only to find out that their partner was not. I can certainly see why they were unhappy about that.
I believe that I am poly, but I could never see myself having casual relationships with multiple people. What I want is for my hubby and me (my primary LTR) to have a LTR with another bi couple that we first get to know as friends. As this relationship develops, it will be with the understanding that my hubby will always come first. If he doesn't feel comfortable with something, I won't do it, and he feels the same way.
... Laughs to self ...Quote:
Originally Posted by IanBorthwick
Perhaps their only crime was to have their fingers burnt. But seriously, in the now not so recent past I was in a poly relationship and was on the receiving end of something similar to "honest communication" line.
The problem is not (and never was) not the idea or the concept, but, like so much of life, it lies with the implementation of the idea. And no, previous experience it hasn't put me off the idea of poly, but made me much more cautious about getting involved with the ideological wing of the movement.
Sorry, but I must defend the post you have taken issue with, and thankfully preserved, for the entertainment and enlightenment it offers. If this is one of our trolls at work and it was deleted for this reason, then so be it, but the troll has almost got his game down. If this had been presented properly as the joke veiling a list of cautions that I took it for, it wouldn't have gotten deleted.Quote:
Originally Posted by IanBorthwick
Allow me to explain the joke as I see it. Too many people pat themselves on the back for "being" (translation: "appearing") open-minded, introspective, willing to work on the relationship, and whatever else got lampooned in that list. We are also emotionally and motivationally complex creatures, often beyond our control or awareness, and often to the detriment of ourselves and others; etc., etc. Lists like this should be seen as opportunities to "check your head." If you can't or won't do this, then it's your loss when you screw up something good & spicy (that some people will only ever get to dream about) with manipulation, jealousy, passive-aggressive behavior, and other such nasty things. Sometimes it seems that more energy is spent in these lifetimes covering up the truth with lies than it would take to actually be honest and fix the problem(s) in the first place.
I'm not saying that all pollies fit these translations, but let's be honest about something. No amount of couching ugly truth or sinister motives in pseudointellectual justification, political correctness, and nice-nice will bring us peace, love, & happiness in the end. Many of us pollies or wannabes are, were, or will be, according to this list, guilty as charged at some point in our lives.
Speaking for myself... "Hi, I'm an idiot!" Rofl! Seriously, I've only ever given it lots of thought and done a lot of soul searching in light of polyamory and its implications. I'm cool with it all and confident I could do it, allowing for a little fear and jealousy acknowledged and kept under control, but I'm in no particular hurry to be a part of a polyamorous arrangement; and I find the terms used, like all terms, merely convenient, and not defining. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the way I do, and I'm confident that I'm better off even if I'm not actually better than anyone. Meanwhile, the fact remains that there are people to whom this list applies. I've met a few, and it's no stretch of the imagination to say that the rest have some validity.
So I say to the person who posted that list, if you are a troll, try presenting yourself as a comedian instead; otherwise, boy, was that a good one!
And its always the ones who knows Least about a subject that has to have the most strenuous out look on it.
In the Veterans community they have a saying that I think applies here "If you aint been there, shut yer mouth"
Unless you are In a Poly situation, unless you personally Know of people within the Poly life, then you have no real experiance in which to make a valid observation, other then the one where all you know how to do is run someone down for living an open honest Sex Positive life. Obviously something you arent capable of doing, or fathoming, so kiss off, Troll brain.
Cat
Don't bother replying to him. You only give him more incentive to come back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherokee_Mountaincat
Black, Poly is life choice. Nothing more or less. To hear you say these words nearly brings me to tears. Homophobes say things such as this. When was the last time you were angry because someone spoke in a derogatory way about your interacial, homosexual relationship. Don't judge until you've seen down anothers path and know the difficulties that lie ahead for them. That is ,of course, unless you enjoy being a hypocryte.
Ok now that I have vented at the closed minded, i'd like to do what i should have done in the first place...Ignore him and address the orginator of the thread.
I for one believe in a pollyamorous relationship. Just to be sure we're on the same page though, In my mind a polyamorous realationship is not open love. It is a real loving and supportive realationship between multiple partners. It is not swinging. A Poly family includes 3 or more adults who, contrary to popular belief, are together for the same love and support you would find in any monogamous realationship. IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX. It's about allowing yourself and your partner to fall in love again. How many marriges fall apart because someone falls for another and has to make a choice. Poly says that you don't have to give up the one you have loved for so long to be with the one you've come to love.
Oh Boy there i go again, preaching LOL.
It was a simply put question here's a simply put answer. I believe that a new love should be welcomed into a family. I am Poly in spirit though I'm not currently in a realationship of any kind.
IanBorthWick, I think they do set up BS accounts everytime they see anything to do with Polamory. I had that same bullshit sent to my email repeatedly the last time i mentioned Poly. and this time I didnt even respond yet and they sent it to me which shows they looked for anything Poly and sent out thier BS theory. I am Polyamorous and could care less if anyone else agrees with it. It doesnt hurt anyone else . I think the person sending that crap out was hurt in a Poly relationship by someone that claimed to be Poly themselves but were only out to get laid,:yikes2: yes like anything else there are a few that fuck it up. ( to the person that got hurt, let it go already and dont let that one persons actions make you so full of hate)
whether you agree with someones view or not and choose to "discuss" them in the forums then I see nothing wrong with that but to attack others beliefs because you dont agree with them is just hateful and to send out hate emails to anyone who dares mention something you dont agree withis rediculous. I dont agree with your beliefs and thats ok. on the other hand FU
I am in a unique situation that I beleive is very similar to a polyamory relationship, but I am unsure of whether it is or not. I've tried to understand it for some time, but the reality is it doesn't matter to me at this time whether it is or isn't. But perhaps if others have had a similar experience as mine, you could offer your thoughts on the type of relationship.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been together with for over two years now. He has known since the beginning of our relationship that I am bisexual and it is a part of my life he has willingly accepted. Included in that, has been a very long sexual relationship with my best friend (female).
That's the complicated part to me as I try to define my situation. My best friend has been my best friend my whole life. Our mother's were best friends since from high school, so it was natural for us to be close, too. But we began exploring our bodies and sexualities together at a very young age. We were each other's first sexual partners and have continued that type of relationship until this day.
Our relationship is definitely not only physical, in fact of sexual relationships that I've had, my relationship with her is probably the least physical given everything else we enjoying doing together.
I've always had trouble trying to understand if she and I are just best friends or if there is something else there. It's hard for me becuz I'm not a very emotional person and I try to keep emotions under control. With boyfriends, it's always been the same way and "boyfriend" has been a title I've freely slapped to relationships that I have chosen to because I have wanted to. That title has just never been applied to a girl by me, but perhaps it could have been to Stacy if we weren't "best friends".
The point being, I'm involved in two wonderful and consistent physical relationships with two very special people. One is my boyfriend and the other is my best friend in the whole world. They get along great and at one point early on, we shared our sexualities together. But now, because of the choice by my best friend, she doesn't particpate with my boyfriend and I. That hasn't changed our interpersonal relationships at all.
I consider myself very lucky and in a unique situation. If it's a polyamorous relationship, I don't know. But it is what it is and I am happy.
Well, we are not poly, but we do know a few poly folks.
What we have seen is the opposite of what was in the post that Ianborthwick was commenting on.
The person that made the offending post clearly is stuck in the 1950's (black and white social tv with bad reception and a "leave it to Beaver" set of values that they cannot see beyond and insist that others "must" comply with). How very Dominion Christian of them.
However, life is never that simple. If it were, then this subject would never come up.
Or to put it more succinctly; IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations).
We are a very diverse society and made up of some extremely diverse people. This kind of thing used to be effectively outlawed up until just a few decades ago.
Things and people are changing and, as a society, those that do not accept that people are different, with different needs and wants, are going to fall by the wayside.
It is the nature of things and cannot be changed by human influence, no matter how hard humans try.
Scientists call it "social evolution".
God me jus don Ployamory...me ploys alla the time 2 get wot me wonts or get me own way... jus a lil spoilt..:tong: but am luffly reely...:bigrin:;)
...ana certain unnamed person is 2 bloody gud at ployin alla the time 2 stop me....:eek::(
Well, I can speak with some authority about polyamory because I was in a polyamorous relationship and it didn't work out. At the risk of sounding like a sexist, I feel that if it's a MFF poly relationship, it has a better chance of working out. But in my case (MFM) it didn't because I couldn't accept a subordinate husband role. I felt the need to be equal to the "real" husband in matters of the relationship but was told that HE was the "real" husband and had much superior rights, privileges, and inputs.
It had its good moments, for sure, but just couldn't last in the long term.
And as in all else, "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger." I'm a better man and now husband for the experience.
Just my :2cents: But if they refered to him as the "Real" husband then they weren't true believers in Poly. If it happened that way to me I would probably feel like sex toy and end up leaving.Quote:
Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle