whats everyone experience with having a regular bj bud?

Hi, just curious what others experinces are like. I have been inactive trying to find the right bud. Either its another bi married guy and no one can host or, the rare times I have met someone it has been a one time thing. Either because something spooked me or them. Am I just being too picky? how hard is it to find - and maintain a reulgar bj bud. I d love to know about others experience. As bi guys doing this on the side how long do your fwbs usually last?

Thanks really enjoying the forum and discussion. Great to have someplace to share this side of life!

I would love to find a straight married guy who I could get down on my knees for and service on a regular basis, but it seems most guys on DL are bi, not straight, and either looking for the same thing or looking for swap.

I think if you find a guy who's looking to receive head from another guy on a regular basis, you can't call him straight. I'm curious as to why you're opposed to swapping?

Off and on throughout my life, I've had "buddies" (not really including the boyfriend I had) and, yeah, it's hard to find (a) the right guy and (b) a guy that's going to participate more than a couple of times. It's convenient and, usually, if a buddy called or came around, there was no question about what we'd be doing but, sometimes, we'd just hang out. It's my personal opinion that some guys looking for the FWB suck buddy... sets the bar too high. Some 'basic' things to consider: Is he of legal age to consent to sex? Is he healthy enough to have sex - and this includes being disease free? Is he not your idea of an asshole? Can either of you host? If not, are you both willing to get a room in an agreed-upon location? How often do you want to see him - and what does your day-to-day life consist of that could make the two of you being "regular" a problem?

My last buddy was my 3rd floor neighbor. Decent guy, not the "best looking" guy and not my idea of an asshole; a couple of years younger than me; nice dick, gave and received head and was open to anal... but his wife would cockblock him and there were times when we were in the middle of arranging to blow each other and... she's yelling for him or blowing up his phone. All of this had to be worked around and we worked around it until he moved elsewhere. I'm not really looking for a regular buddy but I'm not opposed to having one.

I’ve had a couple of these type of friends but not for now and haven’t seen them since before the pandemic. It was nice really, the longest duration guy was married like me and bi sexual in the closet. Not a jerk, very mellow, clean and decent and in my age group. We could get together discreetly and knew what to expect really taking turns sucking each other sometimes me first going down on him and sometimes him first on me. If we had time and the mood was right I bottomed for him and it was very enjoyable. He has a very wide cock and uncut so his is very different from mine, which is cut but average width. He doesn’t like a cock up his ass so we understand each other.

had a few men who i met regular for sucking and fucking but over time things just happen you move on

Have you considered joining a j/o group? Coincidentally, this is my first visit to this site in a while, and I was going to inquire about other's experience with these groups. I was emailed an invite to attend a Music City Jacks gathering last week and not sure if it would be my thing or not. Personally, I am thinking a group setting would let you ignore the AHoles and should provide reasonable amount of safety in numbers. My biggest concern is the likelyhood that it is a group of more promiscuous guys and sexual health may be endangered. The "Jacks" groups are for all sexualities and estimates are that 50% are gay, 10% are straight, and the rest are bi, unsure, etc...
I don't mean to hijack your question, just offering a possible alternative.

I live in a small hamlet and frequent the nearest village so it's hard to say the least. If I could find a regular "BJ" buddy i'd be on it.

Thanks for all the responses! really wide range of experiences. Interesting to read them all!

I love having a trusted private friend whom I share man to man sex with. What’s really convenient is he is my neighbor for the last 5 yrs. Most of our play happens in the very early morning hours when we are both hard as rocks. I travel frequently for work but we make up for it on weekends when the wives insist on sleeping in. He loves swallowing cum as much as I do and we play often sometimes twice a day on weekends. When we have lots of private time I am mostly a bottom, on occasion I will top him but mostly it’s me getting rammed. Even after a couple weeks he can normally slide his cock into me with little to no effort. When I know he was some ass I will stretch my ass with a butt plug. There’s something about having a private trusted friend whom you can trust.

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Originally Posted by WOaksFan

Have you considered joining a j/o group? Coincidentally, this is my first visit to this site in a while, and I was going to inquire about other's experience with these groups. I was emailed an invite to attend a Music City Jacks gathering last week and not sure if it would be my thing or not. Personally, I am thinking a group setting would let you ignore the AHoles and should provide reasonable amount of safety in numbers. My biggest concern is the likelyhood that it is a group of more promiscuous guys and sexual health may be endangered. The "Jacks" groups are for all sexualities and estimates are that 50% are gay, 10% are straight, and the rest are bi, unsure, etc...
I don't mean to hijack your question, just offering a possible alternative.

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i am interested in this as an option as well

wow that sounds really hot @hung4you!

It can be a tough racket if you’re the one looking to be the regular cocksucker. Not so much if you’re the one looking to get sucked. If sites like Craigslist (of the past) and Doublelist are a general indication, it seems there is an oversupply of aspiring cockscukers for a relatively smaller pool of guys looking to be sucked on the regular. All other things equal, the advantage goes to cocksuckers who can host and who have flexible schedules. If you’re a guy like me who is married and works a day job, it’s tough to be competitive in finding a guy to service. On top of that, you’ve got to weed out the “sketchy” guys, and the market gets even smaller. My target market is the married and/or generally “straight” guy who just wants his cock well sucked often, and I really don’t want recip as I need to stay “ready” for my wife. It’s tough to find such guys who only want no-recip head.

If you’ve read my recent thread about the “elderly” gent, you know that I finally got lucky in finding such a guy, who lives just a few minutes from my house. My trade off was that I had to compromise the upper end of my age range (he’s 77). But after meeting him and sucking him a couple of times so far, I am very pleased with the prospect of it being an ongoing regular thing. As long as that cock can get hard, respond to a good blow job and cum, what’s not to like?

I was recently contacted by a guy I had communicated with a few years ago when I lived in a another state. He was married at the time, so we never met up. He was reaching out recently to say that he is now divorced and is seeing a regular cocksucker. He agreed that a guy like me is exactly what he needs and we commiserated that it “sucks” that our timing and locations didn’t work out. But some lucky cocksucker is going to get to be his regular. Pro-tip: divorced guys who can host are a good pond to fish in.

In the end, it’s a numbers game, like fishing in a sparsely stocked pond. You’ve got to keep your line in the water, be patient in adhering to what you’re looking for, and eventually you may well get a bite and find yourself regularly on your knees feeding your hunger.

It has been a long time since I had a regular friend to play with but at the time we didn’t have much responsibilities so it was easier to get together. In the past I’ve been more interested in a mutual suck buddy but from what I’ve seen most here are looking to suck only. I’m open now to any of the three options. If anyone here is around the Charlotte NC area and looking to suck, be sucked, or mutually suck each other I’m down.

I have had a couple regulars one we met 3 times a week for 4 months then it ended. The second guy was a black guy and I sucked his dick once or twice a week for 3 years before he moved . Both of these guys we would meet,then my friends would drop their pants I would pull my pants down to my ankles get on my knees and suck their cock until they came after this they both left.I miss them lots. I want more but have not found another regular. I wish i.had 7 or 8 to suck often

I've been playing with the same bi married friend for a bit over three decades now. Sometimes we've played at my place (impossible these days, but...), sometimes his, sometimes at a rental property he has, occasionally on his sailboat and lately most often at a "no-tell". We've both been super busy so it has been a while, but we're on for this Wednesday afternoon. Not just BJs, mind you and it has never been just one of us doing the other - always reciprocal, usually a lot of 69 and more often than not anal. Just depends on the mood.

I have been looking for someone to feed...thought I had found one a few times but so far they have fallen through.

Met a gay soldier who wanted to be submissive to a straight married guy. We got together once, and then he got deployment orders to Europe. I left him alone to make his arrangement.

I was chatting with a guy on Scruff, looking for a soulmate. Told him I was already married and just looking to get sucked. He offered that he was okay with that too, but went quiet whenever I tried to move to the next step. He'd reach out a few weeks later and talk about stopping by on his way home then pull the same bullshit. I finally just started ignoring him. Several months later I'm getting ready to move cross country, he wants to come by that day! Sure enough he showed up, sucked me off and left. He said he would stop by every day, I said I have contractors some days and too busy other days but I'm game. He went quiet again, I was busy, stressed, and tired of his BullShit so I blocked him. I'm pretty sure he was married and maybe I was his first blowjob.

Now I live in another state, thinking about activating my Scruff profile again. My wife and I also swing, sometimes all the trying to find "for real" people who want to fuck is too frustrating!

I have a very private buddy whom I share my adult sex with. He is my neighbor and know one knows what we do beside closed doors. we are both early risers and thats when the fun begins. We take turns going to each others house, mostly its mine as I have a manacle with a couch and we play allot on that couch.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BeauKnerr

It can be a tough racket if you’re the one looking to be the regular cocksucker. Not so much if you’re the one looking to get sucked. If sites like Craigslist (of the past) and Doublelist are a general indication, it seems there is an oversupply of aspiring cockscukers for a relatively smaller pool of guys looking to be sucked on the regular. All other things equal, the advantage goes to cocksuckers who can host and who have flexible schedules. If you’re a guy like me who is married and works a day job, it’s tough to be competitive in finding a guy to service. On top of that, you’ve got to weed out the “sketchy” guys, and the market gets even smaller. My target market is the married and/or generally “straight” guy who just wants his cock well sucked often, and I really don’t want recip as I need to stay “ready” for my wife. It’s tough to find such guys who only want no-recip head.

If you’ve read my recent thread about the “elderly” gent, you know that I finally got lucky in finding such a guy, who lives just a few minutes from my house. My trade off was that I had to compromise the upper end of my age range (he’s 77). But after meeting him and sucking him a couple of times so far, I am very pleased with the prospect of it being an ongoing regular thing. As long as that cock can get hard, respond to a good blow job and cum, what’s not to like?

I was recently contacted by a guy I had communicated with a few years ago when I lived in a another state. He was married at the time, so we never met up. He was reaching out recently to say that he is now divorced and is seeing a regular cocksucker. He agreed that a guy like me is exactly what he needs and we commiserated that it “sucks” that our timing and locations didn’t work out. But some lucky cocksucker is going to get to be his regular. Pro-tip: divorced guys who can host are a good pond to fish in.

In the end, it’s a numbers game, like fishing in a sparsely stocked pond. You’ve got to keep your line in the water, be patient in adhering to what you’re looking for, and eventually you may well get a bite and find yourself regularly on your knees feeding your hunger.

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You made the perfect comments about what life is like out here for a no recip sub cocksucker who is looking for a regular bud!

I've only had one regular friend but we where both married submissive bottoms but I'm good sized and could get it up so I'd let him suck me and I still did enjoy it.

I am lucky to have found a divorced guy that is also bi. He has a small apartment not to far away. He is on disability and works occasionally helping out an old guy so his daytime schedule is flexible which helps because I visit during my "gym" time. I found him on DoubleList when I put in an ad for a regular. It was strongly worded since my previous ads had not gotten any real replies and that hit with him.

Like any other relationship it has to be managed. You have to be responsive to communications and willing to make an effort when you are not fully in the mood. Like a lot of guys we both prefer to provide rather than to cum ourselves. So we have to manage it so that we each get what we want. Often by taking turns.

There is still friction too. He only told me a little of how he started but I gathered he was orally raped as a young man. His thing is usually to play out the same scenario and is resistant to not doing that. Whereas I want to try different things. I also like to discuss what I feel during sex but he keeps quiet. I feel like he is coming around to being more open as we hang out more.

But we work it out. The funny thing is we are both opera fans and have vigorous debates over the new stagings of classics and the quality of modern opera. We usually start by talking about opera outside his apartment so he feels like there appears to be a vanilla reason for the visit. And he occasionally plays an opera video when the upstairs neighbor is in.

I suppose that if I found a friend that was more in line with what I like, I might drop him. But so far he is the only guy that checks my boxes for being a regular friend.