Do others here feel that there are issues unique to bisexuals and bisexuality that gays, lesbians and straights might not face? If so, what do you feel those issues are?
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Do others here feel that there are issues unique to bisexuals and bisexuality that gays, lesbians and straights might not face? If so, what do you feel those issues are?
Fluctuation.Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlepen9
Personally, I see fluctuation as the biggest issue in its uniqueness that differentiates bisexuality from heterosexuality or homosexuality. I have lived the majority of my life openly as a straight male with strong sexual attractions towards the opposite sex. In retrospect, I can look back and I say I found myself aroused from time to time by the thoughts of particular same sex acts. It is because of those moments of arousal, that I finally gave way to the conclusion that I was/am bisexual. It was necessary on a path of self-discovery to accept that part of myself because the denial was more confusing and distracting than the admission.
The constant unpredictable change in the degree of intensity in a given moment of which sex is the object of my arousal seems to fluctuate at times with no control.
Take a straight male, place him in a room with twenty females, and his sexual attraction perhaps will fluctuate from female to female. Take a gay male and place him in a room with twenty males and his sexual attraction will perhaps fluctuate from male to male. Take a bi male, place him in a room with ten males and ten females and his attraction may fluctuate from one gender to or another and more that likely given enough time, both.
I can say I enjoy sex with both sexes but in a given moment, my thoughts or attractions may be stronger towards one sex more than the other. This flip-flopping can be an issue when in a monogamous relationship and you find yourself in that moment wanting to be aroused but unable to break that cycle long enough to do so. These shifts may occur back and forth, repeatedly, many times in the course of a day. My mind becomes preoccupied with one sex then WHAM, it shifts to another Heterosexual and homosexual people I am sure fluctuate perhaps from person to person within their own orientation but unique to the bisexual are our fluctuations from gender to gender.
Ambi :)
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mmmm I thought about this... and I believe the greatest issue facing bisexuals, is the inablity of society to understand what being bisexual is about... its not totally unique to bisexuals.....but the bisexual faces the greatest lacking of understanding
part of that misunderstanding is caused by the bisexual community as we are seen to be a group of people that regularly indulges in dual gender sexual encounters....and thats all that bisexuality is about
i dislike the way the bisexuality community protrays me as a bisexual.....but thats the way life goes....
I find males and females attractive... but i am drawn to a intelligent chat, a good night out....talking, laughing and joking....sharing the good times and the bad..... and if I have a sexual encounter, its with one of a very selective few people.... so in essence, I am a bisexual with a ver mild sex life, but i am happy with that..... my main bisexual trait is the fact I have a dual personality mind..... I can relate to people as a male or a female, and my body bears the traits of both sexes.......
Yeah...a big one....who or what to fuck next! :bigrin:
While I agree that lack of understanding is a problem, I think that there is another subset of the LGBT community that has it worse than us. I think transexuals/transvestites have it worse than we do. in that vein.Quote:
Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong
As far as unique problems, there are a few. Stereotyping is a big one. You mention the word and people are either curious about who you're sleeping with and do you like that one or that one OR you're going to hell.
Smokey: I'm not certain if you realized it or not, but your comment is a reinforcement of stereotypes. If someone from the outside world were to read that, they would dismiss what others have said simply because being sexually active is what they "know" to be true about bisexuals.
Ignorance of the monosexuals can be eduacated but first we all need to consider how we present ourselves and discover if we are acting in a stereotypical manner first.
For me I would have to say it's people's refusal to believe it when you come out. Straight people think you're just confused & gay ones think you're transitioning and are still half-closeted.Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbwoman39
Remember a certain Aunt of ours? she jumped on the fact that I was bi like it was something to hope for. So some straight people view it as a positive for all the wrong reasons.Quote:
Originally Posted by shameless agitator
we're all prolly gonna be repeating the same things, but for me the issues include not being taken seriously, like we're wishy washy, undecided, oportunist, going through phases, wanna be trendy but not commit to being gay, being perverted and will sleep with anything that moves, or just being mentally ill...i have a lot of friends/family who view bi's as having serious emotional problems, and yeah a lot of us have histories of sex/physical/mental abuse as children, but so do a lot of straight people...gay people view us as not legit and straight people view us as perverts and someone they dun want their kids around...i'm basing that off a couple i had been friends w/ for a long time, and it basically ended when they learned i was bi...being bi doesn't command the same respectr as being gay, we don't have all the movies and parads and political voices to represent us...so, we r more misunderstood than those at the extreme ends of the spectrum. i would be 100% out if i was a lesbian, i'd wear it proudly...i'm kinda lost at how to do that bi :( the saddest aspect has been the lack of community welcoming from gays and lesbians, i thought for sure i would be family, but that wasn't exactly the case...
issues?? we have issues?? tell me, who don't?? :rolleyes:
Yes people think we are sex crazy, confused, on the fence, being trendy and all sorts of other things!
I find it interesting that bisexuals are often judged by such stereotypes many have listed here but when we don't fit those stereotypes it's forgotten that you're even bi. It's like if you're not "bed hopping" with men and women then you can't possibly be bisexual. You're invisible if you don't and you're scorned if you do.
I'm not a monogamist but people seem to think that it's impossible for you to be bi and monogamous. How everyone is "50/50" or equally attracted to men and women (I personally happen to be more or less; but I know that not everyone is). How we can just blend in as heterosexuals and just ignore our same gender attractions.
Or people seem to think about bisexuality in terms of gay/het when you can't.
So true, so true!Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlepen9
Well said. I find that my sexuality doesn't fluctuate as rapidly as yours, but I am currently going through an extended lesbian phase and it's putting serious strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. It's very difficult to explain to him that I still love him and love being with him, but I don't want to have sex. It's quite terrifying to me that I might not ever be able to hold down a longterm relationship because my sexuality bobs up and down so much.Quote:
Originally Posted by ambi53mm
Eh :(
Well said... totally agree..Quote:
Originally Posted by neveen
Going through phases is a huge one!
"in a world between"
For me, it's people who think that - when you're in a monogamous relationship with a man or a woman, particularly if it lasts a long time - you've "gone straight" or are now "totally lesbian".
No, no, no, no, no.
I am bisexual whoever I am involved with. Always, all the time. Being bisexual, to me, is about far more than what sex my partner is. It's about my past, my attractions, the way I view the world, who I look at, my politics, everything.
Bisexuality and beyond
Pet peeve: My partner (female) and I (male) have had to tell people (both gay and straight) not to assume we are heterosexual simply because we are a male-female couple.