A new issue to bring to the Table.

Guy who loves Tables

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BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

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You can read it again if you like .. I had to do a double take!

1.) He obviously saw the prices on the small & miniature table sets at the Home Depot, and wasn’t about to pay full price, thought he can go home and make some baby tables.

2.) Speaking of Home Depot, I assume there are some restraining orders in place now ?

3.) If not, does he go there and just stare at all the sets thinking “oh that one is a real slut” “That one there is just begging for it” “oh. My. God. It has a red and white checkerboard cloth, that’s like the catholic school girl outfit!”

4.) His poor wife. If he was caught with a man, she can think “I can’t compete with cock” or another woman “that two timing cheater”. But a TABLE? You know she’s standing naked in the mirror looking at herself thinking she simply can’t compete.

5.) Did he use protection… I mean if it was a metal table, so no splinters like a wooden table. But damn that is some rough friction going on.

6.) What other furniture around the house has holes that probably got fucked that we don’t know about? I looked around my house. Blender (take off the bottom part). Sink Faucets. Doors without doorknobs. Vacuum Cleaner…but cmon, what guy hasn’t looked at a Vacuum cleaner and thought about it..er, so I heard…

Yes I know the serious side. I’m sure this would ruin a marriage, the kids will be totally ashamed as they grow up and find out they almost had a little baby table because their daddy was a table fucker and all (No worse than some people looking at their parents wondering if they almost had a younger little vacuum cleaner)

But all seriousness aside… the guy fucked a table.

Rock. On.

Roflol

ROTFLMFAO - Good one Joe

I think the neighbor wanted and expected to get what the table got.
Love scorned needed revenge.

I can just picture his life inside the house!

Wife: Honey hurry up and cum...the family will be here in a few minutes for Thanksgiving dinner and I need to set the table!

or better yet.....

Children finish your breakfast and clear the table daddy needs to get off !

I had seen this article at an earlier time---I don't know if that is when it was new or not--I am sure that fucking a table is not that unusual considering all of the other things gusy have "fucked" throughout history---actually that it was a picnic table is rather tame compared to the many odd things that guys have gotten off on,with or whatever!! :bigrin::bigrin::bigrin:

What kind of crazy ways and what odd things have we all "copulated with" but won't care to "cop to" having done it??????:eek::eek::bigrin::bigrin:

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Originally Posted by 12voltman59

What kind of crazy ways and what odd things have we all "copulated with" but won't care to "cop to" having done it??????:eek::eek::bigrin::bigrin:

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Guys, Voltie...tee hee:tong:;)

Now now Darkeyes, I'm sorry but I must chime in here that some women are just as crazy as men... however if you want to go by a ratio of sorts, yes, men are just plain nuttier.

I personally knew this girl that enjoyed getting off on... a certain flower vase in her house. She even went so far as to shop for other vases, but nope... was this one particular vase. I even joked around one day that she should just prop herself up on a table with it and stick flowers in the vase and become decor. Me and my big mouth... I received a picture of said pose.

Now that's only one instance I personally have, however we all seem to hear this crazy rumor about how the washing machine is fun to sit on when it hits a certain cycle....

THen.. there was the Harry Potter vibrating Broomstick. I kid you not. One Amazon.com review is actually copied over to this page that I remembered, "“My 12-year-old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy,” Ashley wrote on June 11, 2002. “Even my daughter’s friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick!!”"

Now...on the lighter side of things...is Yahoo answers which always provides hilarity in the form of people that trust strangers with serious issues...

Sad if True

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Originally Posted by 12voltman59

What kind of crazy ways and what odd things have we all "copulated with" but won't care to "cop to" having done it??????:eek::eek::bigrin::bigrin:

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volty:
http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6043

I'm still concerned for the duck.

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Originally Posted by _Joe_

Now now Darkeyes, I'm sorry but I must chime in here that some women are just as crazy as men... however if you want to go by a ratio of sorts, yes, men are just plain nuttier.

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I'm not sure about men generally being nuttier, because I know what Frances and her friends are like individually and collectively. I was quite sane until introduced to them, but they seem to have brought out in me several lunatic traits which I am convinced shouldn't be there in any remotely normal person. My friends are a much more staid bunch who are nice and they are fun, but crazy they are not.

Ask her about the girl, the boyfriend and the rocking horse Joe. If she is honest, it will open your eyes to lil ms manhater.;)

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Originally Posted by CuddlyKate

I'm not sure about men generally being nuttier, because I know what Frances and her friends are like individually and collectively. I was quite sane until introduced to them, but they seem to have brought out in me several lunatic traits which I am convinced shouldn't be there in any remotely normal person. My friends are a much more staid bunch who are nice and they are fun, but crazy they are not.

Ask her about the girl, the boyfriend and the rocking horse Joe. If she is honest, it will open your eyes to lil ms manhater.;)

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I used the word nuttier for a good pun actually :P

And now I want to know Frances even more to learn and adopt of lunatic traits!

And I'll be sure to ask her about that, I would like to get to know her more.

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Originally Posted by CuddlyKate

I'm not sure about men generally being nuttier, because I know what Frances and her friends are like individually and collectively. I was quite sane until introduced to them, but they seem to have brought out in me several lunatic traits which I am convinced shouldn't be there in any remotely normal person. My friends are a much more staid bunch who are nice and they are fun, but crazy they are not.

Ask her about the girl, the boyfriend and the rocking horse Joe. If she is honest, it will open your eyes to lil ms manhater.;)

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Sum things dear heart, r not suitable for the eyes an ears a lesser mortals;):female::female:

LOL! Go on ... spill the beans!

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Originally Posted by CuddlyKate

Ask her about the girl, the boyfriend and the rocking horse Joe. If she is honest, it will open your eyes to lil ms manhater.;)

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Inquiring minds want to know....:bigrin:

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Originally Posted by gfofbiguy

Inquiring minds want to know....:bigrin:

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God..rite can a worms she has opened up...allya needs 2 kno is it involved me, me then bf, a big rockin horse an sum ratha nice afta school extra curricular activities ..wos fun an me had a gud time... not as gud as 'e did but thats way a life wenya involves yasel wiv lesser mortals...:rolleyes:

'Can of worms....' Someone I knew confessed to a jar of worms.

He also confessed to a melon which was then eaten.

'Yuk' to the first; 'Hmm?' to the second.

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Originally Posted by Hephaestion

'Can of worms....' Someone I knew confessed to a jar of worms.

He also confessed to a melon which was then eaten.

'Yuk' to the first; 'Hmm?' to the second.

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Odd kinda post heph ...me don memba it, but me dad always laffs bout the fact that me big bro wos fonda munchin an sookin worms wen 'e wos wee.. thats wy me dad wud neva take 'im fishin...:bigrin: yughie... gross...:eek:

AWESOME!!!!

:bipride: