for m/f couples in long-term relationship w/ another m/f couple

How long did it take you to find a couple that you felt compatible with?

I knew the M/F couple I was with for 2 years before we first had sex. I knew the F/F couple for 3 months before we first had sex.

I will say this, it is MUCH more difficult for one guy to satisfy two women, than it is for two men to satisfy one woman!

Those were the only two sets of couples I've been with. However, the experience has left enough memories for a life-time! One lasted 13 months and the later lasted almost 2 years.

I'm 68.

118 people have looked at this thread, but only 1 person has responded. Is what we're looking for THAT hard to find?

We have been with a couple before. I would say it took a good couple of months of chatting and getting to know each other before we finally hooked up. It didn't help that the other couple was from a town 90 miles from us so we couldn't just "swing by". When the day finally came, we drove there with the plans of playing and staying the night. We sat and played some cards and had a few drinks but the guy must have been really nervous because he drank way too much and passed out.(I even tried to "revive" him) My wife and I took his wife to the bedroom and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Needless to say, the next morning was slightly awkward... I would love to find another couple (or even a single guy for that matter). My wife isn't into the bi thing so much with another woman, but for that one night we had fun. :bipride:

Baby, not all of the people on this site are Swingers, or Lifestylers like I am. And not all are experianced in Poly lifestyles either.:2cents:
Good Luck in your search. :}
Cat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Iowason

We have been with a couple before. I would say it took a good couple of months of chatting and getting to know each other before we finally hooked up. It didn't help that the other couple was from a town 90 miles from us so we couldn't just "swing by". When the day finally came, we drove there with the plans of playing and staying the night. We sat and played some cards and had a few drinks but the guy must have been really nervous because he drank way too much and passed out.(I even tried to "revive" him) My wife and I took his wife to the bedroom and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Needless to say, the next morning was slightly awkward... I would love to find another couple (or even a single guy for that matter). My wife isn't into the bi thing so much with another woman, but for that one night we had fun. :bipride:

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Did he get mad when he woke up and realized you'd fucked his wife and had sex without him?

Why didn't you just leave? That's really weird that he'd drink so much that he'd pass out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by alegrias

118 people have looked at this thread, but only 1 person has responded. Is what we're looking for THAT hard to find?

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In a sense yes it is very hard to find.

Think about it. It can sometimes be hard enough just finding one person who you're attracted to and who is also attracted to you and who wants the same things that you do when it comes to sex/life/a relationship/etc.

Now imagine how hard enough it is finding 3-4 people who are all attracted to one another equally, who are all equally sexually compatible, who all want the same thing, and who all get along very well outside of having sex and nobody gets their feelings hurt or feels weird afterwards.

Now try keeping a relationship like this and actually working at it since sex is only a small part of a relationship. I've seen tons of relationships like this explode, none of them last forever or even for a decade or more, and usually one/two people wind up getting badly hurt.

Now take into the fact that you're on the internet and there are A LOT of flakes online who don't know who/what they want out of sex/relationships/life/etc., and there are people who go on websites like this who just prefer to cyber/have phone sex, chat, look at the free porn, or have people want them instead of looking for dating/sex/relationships.

Also take into account that relationships are work. Apparently too much work for many people, and that people are lazy and don't want to actually work at having a relationship with one person (even something as simple as being friends), let alone 3-4 people.

:rolleyes: to the power of two

:banghead:

sorry DD if other people's lives and choices dont fit your standards

Jiminy Christmas dOOd get over it please! G.D. must ya put EVERYONE down?? no wait... nevermind.. the answer is "yes".. cause ya always do. and no this isnt a troll like post... and this isnt the first time either. its like the rush limbaugh of the bisexual.com site or something man! no wait... even better... the "bill orally" of bi.com. its one thing to make an observation, another to make commentary akin to a condescending A-hole. :2cents:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vittoria

:rolleyes: to the power of two

:banghead:

sorry DD if other people's lives and choices dont fit your standards

Jiminy Christmas dOOd get over it please! G.D. must ya put EVERYONE down?? no wait... nevermind.. the answer is "yes".. cause ya always do. and no this isnt a troll like post... and this isnt the first time either. its like the rush limbaugh of the bisexual.com site or something man! no wait... even better... the "bill orally" of bi.com. its one thing to make an observation, another to make commentary akin to a condescending A-hole. :2cents:

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Read my post again and actually keep an open mind for once in your life.

Don't have such a fragile self esteem that it's so easily destroyed with a few casually typed out sentances. The original poster did ask a question so I answered it.

No I'm not being "mean" or putting anyone down. Are you that sensitive and is your self esteem that fragile?

I didn't say that it's impossible to find, or that it's a bad thing to have an open relationship. :rolleyes:

I just said that you shouldn't have expectations about a relationship at all with anyone and you shouldn't assume that any relationship is going to be easy and there won't be any work at all involved in it.

Then there's the factors of attraction/compatibility with multiple people, which are a whole other can of worms.

People act like open relationships are very easy when actually they're a lot of work, as any relationship is even a closed one, and yes people do get/become lazy when it comes to working on keeping a relationship.

Face reality, look at the large number of posts here people have written here about how other people are lazy when it comes to having an open relationship, staying within boundaries, communicating, or taking the relationship seriously.

Even you yourself have frequently written and bitched about how hard it is for you and your BF to find another man/woman/couple. ;)

i have been in poly relationships before both sides... the girl coming into an already made relationship. and the one in the relationship bringing a girl in, and well would like to have that myself again with me and my man... but it is very tru.. it is very hard to find that right person... because it isnt just about sex.. it is about life.. and living it.. with instead of just one.. u have 2 or more u have to get along with. and we all know how hard it is to find that one person. but the only thing any one can do is be patient and look to find that person who is good for all involved. because settling for the first person who is willing to be in a poly life can be a mistake (NOT ALL THE TIME) but it is best to be friends and then let it grow to that, with all involved. ok i said my piece lol ill go sit in my corner now :tong:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DiamondDog

Read my post again and actually keep an open mind for once in your life.

Don't have such a fragile self esteem that it's so easily destroyed with a few casually typed out sentances. The original poster did ask a question so I answered it.

No I'm not being "mean" or putting anyone down. Are you that sensitive and is your self esteem that fragile?

I didn't say that it's impossible to find, or that it's a bad thing to have an open relationship. :rolleyes:

I just said that you shouldn't have expectations about a relationship at all with anyone and you shouldn't assume that any relationship is going to be easy and there won't be any work at all involved in it.

Then there's the factors of attraction/compatibility with multiple people, which are a whole other can of worms.

People act like open relationships are very easy when actually they're a lot of work, as any relationship is even a closed one, and yes people do get/become lazy when it comes to working on keeping a relationship.

Face reality, look at the large number of posts here people have written here about how other people are lazy when it comes to having an open relationship, staying within boundaries, communicating, or taking the relationship seriously.

Even you yourself have frequently written and bitched about how hard it is for you and your BF to find another man/woman/couple. ;)

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And read MY post again... there's nothing in there that remotely suggests a lack of self esteem... but since you brought it up, like my mother always used to say "sometimes people accuse folks of stuff to keep themselves from suspicion".

And there it was... a lack of self esteem on, not my part, but verily on someone who seems to continuously without let up bestow their condescending BS on the masses. Nice part about it though, I'm not the only one tired of it

CASES in point...

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=115792&postcount=85


or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=89

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=60

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...8&postcount=43

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...5&postcount=41

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=39


or the best damn paragraph anyone could write in this:

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...8&postcount=36
"It's not so much whether or not you are truly a misogynist that bothers most of us, it is the way that you state your opinions without regard to the beliefs or experiences of others. You continue to debate issues using situations that affect YOU and YOUR sexuality choices and while that is your right to do, you need not do so in such a manner where you demean or put down women", or anyone else for that matter;) ;) ;)

that's just ONE thread. I'm quite certain there's more, but that will suffice for now. BTW--the word is "sentence". When one can spell words properly, then perhaps one can be the judge of what the flip ever crap one sets forth. Until then..

PHOOEY.

In other news, and BACK TO TOPIC, yes, it IS difficult to find sincere DECENT HEARTED people without going through the rigamarole. Does it take a while? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. Is it worth being analysed to death like we have a problem because we like what we like just as many heteros do to us, but instead have our own community bash us in psychobabble? NO. Screw analyzation (analysation--depending on where the reader is from :tong: ). Just be happy, take your time, and enjoy the ride. And, Illegitimati Non Carborundum:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vittoria

And read MY post again... there's nothing in there that remotely suggests a lack of self esteem... but since you brought it up, like my mother always used to say "sometimes people accuse folks of stuff to keep themselves from suspicion".

And there it was... a lack of self esteem on, not my part, but verily on someone who seems to continuously without let up bestow their condescending BS on the masses. Nice part about it though, I'm not the only one tired of it

CASES in point...

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=115792&postcount=85


or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=89

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=60

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...8&postcount=43

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...5&postcount=41

or this

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...9&postcount=39


or the best damn paragraph anyone could write in this:

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showp...8&postcount=36
"It's not so much whether or not you are truly a misogynist that bothers most of us, it is the way that you state your opinions without regard to the beliefs or experiences of others. You continue to debate issues using situations that affect YOU and YOUR sexuality choices and while that is your right to do, you need not do so in such a manner where you demean or put down women", or anyone else for that matter;) ;) ;)

that's just ONE thread. I'm quite certain there's more, but that will suffice for now. BTW--the word is "sentence". When one can spell words properly, then perhaps one can be the judge of what the flip ever crap one sets forth. Until then..

PHOOEY.

In other news, and BACK TO TOPIC, yes, it IS difficult to find sincere DECENT HEARTED people without going through the rigamarole. Does it take a while? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. Is it worth being analysed to death like we have a problem because we like what we like just as many heteros do to us, but instead have our own community bash us in psychobabble? NO. Screw analyzation (analysation--depending on where the reader is from :tong: ). Just be happy, take your time, and enjoy the ride. And, Illegitimati Non Carborundum:)

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Congratulations! You know how to use a search engine on a website and you're into stalking strangers who you know absolutely nothing about. Should I write my own personal biography for you? ;) :rolleyes:

I don't bestow BS upon the masses or on this website unlike your posts. ;) I simply offer alternative opinions and in reply to my original post on this topic you're suggesting that I should lie and pretend that it's easy just so the original poster doesn't get their feelings hurt or *gasp* give up!

I don't try to hide anything and while I don't write about my own personal life or relationships on here it's because they don't matter, I'm not one to brag about such things, and what would be the point of it?

Anyway what would you even know about people from your own "community" bashing you? This is just a website and the time you and your man slave went to a gay bar and claimed that you were discriminated against because you're bisexual does not count because these were your own fears, anxiety, discomfort, and homophobia coming out of hiding when you're in a non-heterosexual environment and forced to communicate with people face to face who aren't heterosexual and you're not online with them. ;) ;) ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DiamondDog

Congratulations! You know how to use a search engine on a website and you're into stalking strangers who you know absolutely nothing about. Should I write my own personal biography for you? ;) :rolleyes:

I don't bestow BS upon the masses or on this website unlike your posts. ;) I simply offer alternative opinions and in reply to my original post on this topic you're suggesting that I should lie and pretend that it's easy just so the original poster doesn't get their feelings hurt or *gasp* give up!

I don't try to hide anything and while I don't write about my own personal life or relationships on here it's because they don't matter, I'm not one to brag about such things, and what would be the point of it?

Anyway what would you even know about people from your own "community" bashing you? This is just a website and the time you and your man slave went to a gay bar and claimed that you were discriminated against because you're bisexual does not count because these were your own fears, anxiety, discomfort, and homophobia coming out of hiding when you're in a non-heterosexual environment and forced to communicate with people face to face who aren't heterosexual and you're not online with them. ;) ;) ;)

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Poor Diamond Dog, got so mad he starts doing Sarah Palin winks!

"and you're into stalking strangers who you know absolutely nothing about."

Do tell please. Because DD says so it makes it fact... blah blah blah. We've had enough of your insults, denegration, lies, and slander. And btw, we interact with our community just fine thank you. Yes we had a weird as hell incident. Most of us do have weird as hell incidences. Whoopie. O ye with bigger balls than any of us on this site do tell us the way which we are to walk for we are confused, and need a misogynistic Messiah to show us the way....

And BTW.. its " bestow their condescending BS upon the masses", which apparently by all accounts you DO or else there wouldnt be such a problem. English was my Major. Get your context clues right. Quote me correctly or dont quote me at all.

and on that note, i place you in the venue of Fireman Donn's red marker.:cool:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 31cho

Poor Diamond Dog, got so mad he starts doing Sarah Palin winks!

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I don't expect humor, detecting sarcasm, or camp humor to be any of your strong points.....anyway why compare me to Sarah Palin? I didn't vote for her or support her.

I'm not angry at all. I'm thankful that I'm not a closet case living in Ohio with an equally closeted crazy girlfriend. :rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vittoria

"and you're into stalking strangers who you know absolutely nothing about."

Do tell please. Because DD says so it makes it fact... blah blah blah. We've had enough of your insults, denegration, lies, and slander. And btw, we interact with our community just fine thank you. Yes we had a weird as hell incident. Most of us do have weird as hell incidences. Whoopie. O ye with bigger balls than any of us on this site do tell us the way which we are to walk for we are confused, and need a misogynistic Messiah to show us the way....

And BTW.. its " bestow their condescending BS upon the masses", which apparently by all accounts you DO or else there wouldnt be such a problem. English was my Major. Get your context clues right. Quote me correctly or dont quote me at all.

and on that note, i place you in the venue of Fireman Donn's red marker.:cool:

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I did quote you correctly and write about what you do very aptly, you write tons of bullshit that nobody cares about except yourself and your slave of a boyfriend. Others here have noticed this about you.

You wouldn't know how to write an excellent persuasive essay essay with a thesis/argument that holds water or a conclusion, even if you did study English.

Do you even have a degree? Taking, auditing, or pretending to take a few college classes while stoned off your ass doesn't count and mail order degrees and LOL online "degrees" don't count. :P

What I wrote about you and your little slave in the bar is the truth.

No weirdness at all just your own discomfort, homophobia, and everything I wrote about before coming out in you and your boyfriend.

We all know how much you dislike butch lesbians! :tong:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DiamondDog

Read my post again and actually keep an open mind for once in your life.

Don't have such a fragile self esteem that it's so easily destroyed with a few casually typed out sentances. The original poster did ask a question so I answered it.

No I'm not being "mean" or putting anyone down. Are you that sensitive and is your self esteem that fragile?

I didn't say that it's impossible to find, or that it's a bad thing to have an open relationship. :rolleyes:

I just said that you shouldn't have expectations about a relationship at all with anyone and you shouldn't assume that any relationship is going to be easy and there won't be any work at all involved in it.

Then there's the factors of attraction/compatibility with multiple people, which are a whole other can of worms.

People act like open relationships are very easy when actually they're a lot of work, as any relationship is even a closed one, and yes people do get/become lazy when it comes to working on keeping a relationship.

Face reality, look at the large number of posts here people have written here about how other people are lazy when it comes to having an open relationship, staying within boundaries, communicating, or taking the relationship seriously.

Even you yourself have frequently written and bitched about how hard it is for you and your BF to find another man/woman/couple. ;)

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Diamondog come to the other side.We all know your a angry gay man.Stop fighting your feelings young one.And come join us.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bidarthvador

Diamondog come to the other side.We all know your a angry gay man.Stop fighting your feelings young one.And come join us.

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Nice try Vitt&Cho! Can't you even spell the Star Wars character's name right?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, even bisexuals don't always understand bisexuality. :rolleyes:

we are a husband and wife that are both bi and we are in a relationship with another m/f, couple, that are bi-playfull. it is strange and fun at the same time.

Now Now. Let's simmer down. It's only your life at stake, and the fate of the dark matter of the universe. Nothing too important.

Just pretend the two of you are in a totally darkened room, and lying next to each other, all burned out by all the bile and hostility. You got off on the wrong footing, and now you have to make amends. So, under the direct orders of that mysterious voice coming through the speakers, you are going to HAVE to relate to each other on a TOTALLY SEXUAL level. And unknown to the both of you there is an IR camera catching the action for the sake of the ENLIGHTENMENT of the rest of us.

So get out there and give it your best shot. We'll be tuning in while you turn us on.

We hope that we may have found what we're looking for. We've been corresponding for a couple of weeks with a couple that seems to want everything we want. (A miracle) Distance and life circumstances are making it difficult for us to hook up, but we can't stop thinking about them.