How I got this way

I was raised by a poor foster family. They treated me very good, providing for me the best they could. In those days there was no monthly check to cover your care. Little did they know that at 4 years old one of there nephews began molesting me. He was in his mid 30's with a family of his own.
He showed me attention, love, and genuine caring. I didn't know the difference or that it was wrong, all i knew is he made me feel special. He never forced me to do anything I didn't feel comforatable with. I never thought of telling anyone because he was so good to me. Our sexual encounters elevated with time. He did oral on me, and rimmed me with his tongue. Around 8 years old I began doing oral on him, he was huge 10" long and thick, with a strong sweet smell, 50 years later and i can still smell it in my memory. We got together a few times a week it was so exciting. When I turned 13 and began puberty I found girls were looking good to me. I told him
I didn't want to do it any more, he never bothered me again. I would see him a lot but he respected my decision and never tried again. Around 33 i began having those male/male desires again, but I have never found another like him. People say if molested you will molest, that is bullshit for me anyway.
I have never even thought anything of doing it with anyone under 30. I know it was wrong of him to violate me and he did change my sexual development.
To this day tho i still miss and love him so, he was so good to me. Well this is how I got to this point in my life. Whats your story?

For me, it started in high school. I was on a camping trip my freshman year and my best friend and I were tentmates, primarily because everyone else apparently knew he was gay. I did not. In the middle of the night I awoke to find his hand gripped tightly on my penis. As I awoke, I started to stop him, however it just felt too good to stop. He moved so that his penis was near my mouth but no at it. I could feel that he was teasing me annd I took it upon myself to put it in my mouth. He was very thick and long (about 9.25 inches is my guess) and felt so good in my mouth.

Later we wouldn't be that close because he always acted like he wanted to do stuff again but wouldn't. It prompted me to do things with other guys, one of whom was again a best friend. The only differences this time were that i knew he was gay, I intiated it, and I knew he wanted it. He was the same size as me (8.5) and we had lots of fun with each other. The only disappointment was that he was afraid to cum during oral. Well thats my story....

I guess I got this way with allowing myself to think about it.
Maybe I was made this way. But if I was to find something to "blame", then it's hard for me to come up with anything reasonable. It's just some passive side in me that want's to be fulfilled. (I'm like Sesar, a man in the company of women, a woman in the company of men).
Iv'e blamed smoking marijuana. but then, I didn't start analyzing and realising what I was until 20, started smoking pot at 18. Maye it was the pot that made me afraid enough, and made me think enough about gay fantasies? but then again, in retrospective, I found out that I had had these feelings since puberty.
Into my mind pops the clishee: I had a distant father. But who didn't have a distant father. Come on.
Iv'e also thought, that maybe porn made me this way. Maybe with watching porn, I got closer to the cock, got used to it, and found it sexy. Maybe if I had never ever seen a man have sex, maybe these feelings wouldn't have come alive?
What made me this way was allowing me to think this way. I'm sure I could have suppressed it, or at least i could have kept going on in total denial, like a psycho.

But biguy82.
I'm really surprised to read what you wrote. So you were molested and liked it?
My dictionary says this:
1: to annoy, disturb, or persecute especially with hostile intent or injurious effect
2: to make annoying sexual advances to; especially : to force physical and usually sexual contact on

Would you have liked him not to have done what he did? And does this make you understand and not think badly of other such kind child lovers?

:male:

It's part of my genetics, I was born this way.

I too was molested. I guess you could say that altered my development too. Once the molestation ended, I didn't have any other kind of sexual contact until high school. :2cents:

After rereading the post I can see that it would seem that I didn't want it. It was one of those things where you want it to happen but have had in your mind that it is wrong. I was rather confused at the time, I did enjoy it, but felt slightly ashamed at first. After a while I accepted that it wasn't wrong. What was wrong was that he acted like he was my friend. He always would act like he wanted to do more but wouldn't and acted one way in private but another way in public. I don't understand why he was like that, perhaps he really only got what he wanted and was done with it. But he didn't molest me, if anything he actually beat me to it. Had I known he was gay, I would have offered to do something anyway.

To all of the people who have been molested or sexually abused, get some therapy!

I mean that in a good way since based on what you've written it seems like you either condone it or think that it was a good thing or you're having trouble getting your life back together because of it.

I think "this way" is normal, and what it takes to be straight is brainwashing. Few behaviors are as violently discouraged in life as sex that falls outside of the accepted ideal of repressive heterosexuality. Kids are raised to be straight, as if gay sex was abnormal, sick and wrong. But gay sex is normal, healthy and right. It is the societal ideal that is perverse. Sex feels good. That is the starting point. Taboos intend to thwart unwanted consequences, which is fine, but then it goes too far and taboos create worse problems than they solve, as always happens with ignorant prohibitions.

Well, when I was younger my mom had a daycare and me and the other boys my age would go into the closet and "play." It was mostly oral and kissing. I guess that planted the seeds of a future orientation. I've had some experience with girls in middle school. But I've always liked boys too. I will admit I guess I am a virgin, but I enjoyed what little experience I had from both genders.

-jake, 18

:flag1:

Reply to VBScript's comment! I hear ya man, I don't have a problem dealing
with it. I certainly don't condone it either. I was just sharing how I
got this way.

I had childhood experiences too but with boys my age. Just fondling and oral. I knew we'd be in trouble if we got caught but I never really felt like we were doing anything wrong. It was over after puberty and I thought little of it until 10 or so years later.

I've often questioned whether these thoughts started up again because of my childhood experiences or if it would have happened anyway. If I were naked and blindfolded and someone started sucking my cock, it would feel good, no matter whose mouth it is. And I think it's also natural to want to give the same pleasure that one likes to get. I don't think the early exposure caused the desire that I feel now but I think it allowed me to consider it natural and acceptable before I got completely brainwashed.

Uhm, one day I was horny. There's my story.

I'm glad someone started this thread, it's a good topic. I believe I was born this way, but also that some bad things started urging me more toward women as my preference. I was molested at the age of 11 by my sister's dad, who was supposed to marry my mom. I was so timid at that time, I just couldn't tell anyone. I also saw how happy my mom was and didn't want to ruin that. The abuse continued until my sister was 6 mos., but only because he went to jail on a drug charge. He did about 2 or 3 yrs. We'd go visit him and I thought he had changed, he said he opened himself to God, so I just assumed if he'd come back that he'd never do it again. After he was released, they sent him back to Mexico, well, when I was 14, we went to Mexico City to see him, the first chance alone he had with me, he did it again. I was so hurt and I felt so stupid for thinking he could ever change. So I think he tainted my sexual development. There's alot more to my story, but I'd have to take up about 2 pages to tell it all. I think I need a therapist.

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Originally Posted by someotherguy

I think "this way" is normal, and what it takes to be straight is brainwashing. Few behaviors are as violently discouraged in life as sex that falls outside of the accepted ideal of repressive heterosexuality. Kids are raised to be straight, as if gay sex was abnormal, sick and wrong. But gay sex is normal, healthy and right. It is the societal ideal that is perverse. Sex feels good. That is the starting point. Taboos intend to thwart unwanted consequences, which is fine, but then it goes too far and taboos create worse problems than they solve, as always happens with ignorant prohibitions.

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You said everything that I have been thinking for all my life. Thanks. :flag3:

I was hoping for a lot better responce than this. Everyone has experienced so much. Cum on ans share it.

I'm this way because... I dunno. I've always felt affection towards females and males as long as I can remember. More towards female than male, but still towards both.

I guess it's just the way I was born.

I'm "Bi" because I'm curious. I've been experimenting with others since I can remember. As a juvie we all had ?'s. My guy friends and I played with each other and to some extent we played w/ our sisters. Never penetration but looking and feeling. Some of us guys played Dr. and the treatment for a sore peter was to put in our mouth. We didn't suck per se, just put our mouths over it and held it there. I did stick my cock in one friends ass once. It must have hurt a lot because he yelled and jerked away.

Later in life I met Ray, he was Bi and would arrange for guys to fuck me, he watched and would suck me off after they came. He told me about Gay Baths and what went on there. Curiosity made me look one up and visit. What Ray told me was true. I could get fucked, sucked and because I was curious about what it felt like to have a cock in your mouth I eventually tried sucking one. Decided it wasn't bad, when I got him hard he would fuck me. Thats what I enjoyed most. Eventually I had to find out what it was like to have them cum in mouth. I liked their reaction's as they unloaded, I could feel their cocks pulse as the cum pumped out. This led to wondering if I could swallow. Tried it and didn't find it objectionable. Can't remember it tasting any way in particular, do remember the texture and how it felt in my mouth.

In HS I had two guy friends that eventually led to sex. We didn't suck but we fucked each other numerous times. Never the three of us together but I played with each of them separately. We never thought of it as being "Gay" we were just horny teenagers that had to stick our cocks into a warm body.

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Originally Posted by someotherguy

I think "this way" is normal, and what it takes to be straight is brainwashing. Few behaviors are as violently discouraged in life as sex that falls outside of the accepted ideal of repressive heterosexuality. Kids are raised to be straight, as if gay sex was abnormal, sick and wrong. But gay sex is normal, healthy and right. It is the societal ideal that is perverse. Sex feels good. That is the starting point. Taboos intend to thwart unwanted consequences, which is fine, but then it goes too far and taboos create worse problems than they solve, as always happens with ignorant prohibitions.

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I think someotherguy has said it very well.

In my own case, introduction to homosexuality was as a young teen with someone my own age. We both enjoyed what we had discovered and continued for a couple of years until we realized that what we were doing was frowned upon by society in general, and by our peer group. It wasn't that we wanted to stop, it was the pressure we felt from society that forced us to quit doing what actually felt natural and enjoyable.

Now that I am older, and have read and studied a bit about human sexuality I have come to believe that bisexuality is the norm for humans. However, it is hard (if not impossible) to separate what is 'normal' and what is conditioned by society. I often ask the question; 'If two people of the same gender were stranded on a deserted island, and knew that they would never be able to leave - would they not seek comfort, love and sex from each other? I know I would!

All that said though, sex can be a good thing or a bad thing. If done with love it can be an expression of that love regardless of whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. But, done in a selfish 'physical only' way, it can cause great pain and emotional damage - again regardless of whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. It seems to me that all things done in love can be good. Thus the wisdom that has come down through the ages - "Love and do no harm"

I think I was born this way. I`ve been attracted to men & women since I was 10 & knew for definate I was Bisexual when I was 17 as I had sexual encounters with a woman then a man a few weeks later. I`m perfectly happy being Bisexual.

Abbey Road. :bibounce::wiggle2::paw:

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Originally Posted by someotherguy

I think "this way" is normal, and what it takes to be straight is brainwashing. Few behaviors are as violently discouraged in life as sex that falls outside of the accepted ideal of repressive heterosexuality. Kids are raised to be straight, as if gay sex was abnormal, sick and wrong. But gay sex is normal, healthy and right. It is the societal ideal that is perverse. Sex feels good. That is the starting point. Taboos intend to thwart unwanted consequences, which is fine, but then it goes too far and taboos create worse problems than they solve, as always happens with ignorant prohibitions.

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I agree. I feel there's a huge percentage of people who have bisexual tendencies and sort of brainwash themselves out of it or just ignore it due to societal pressures. It feels good to just be honest. What's the big deal, anyway?

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Originally Posted by sometimesitbethatway

I agree. I feel there's a huge percentage of people who have bisexual tendencies and sort of brainwash themselves out of it or just ignore it due to societal pressures. It feels good to just be honest. What's the big deal, anyway?

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The big deal? "It ain't natural!"... That's what I keep hearing in the south. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal really is. People feel attraction, especially if they're horny. That attraction can go anywhere, male or female. But it's more socially acceptable to be straight. People fear what they do not understand... I totally stole that quote from somewhere. Or maybe... they fear what they feel society has told them NOT to understand... hmm... I guess it's a lot easier being ignorant. God forbid you should have to use your own brain and think about something for yourself, and come to your own conclusions. Just do what society says, and you'll be fine.

That was quite a ramble... almost sounded a little deep for a second there, heh.

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Originally Posted by alaskacouple

I think someotherguy has said it very well.

In my own case, introduction to homosexuality was as a young teen with someone my own age. We both enjoyed what we had discovered and continued for a couple of years until we realized that what we were doing was frowned upon by society in general, and by our peer group. It wasn't that we wanted to stop, it was the pressure we felt from society that forced us to quit doing what actually felt natural and enjoyable.

Now that I am older, and have read and studied a bit about human sexuality I have come to believe that bisexuality is the norm for humans. However, it is hard (if not impossible) to separate what is 'normal' and what is conditioned by society. I often ask the question; 'If two people of the same gender were stranded on a deserted island, and knew that they would never be able to leave - would they not seek comfort, love and sex from each other? I know I would!

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I think part of the problem is that society feels that IF it agrees to embrace certain forms of sexuality as "normal", then this will become a slippery slope. After all, if you embrace one form of (supposed) "deviance", then who's to say that the remainder won't want a taste? And obviously TOTAL sexual freedom conflicts with the "moral code" that our society considers so important, and therefore could be perceived by some as leading to/contributing to/causing its degeneration.

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Originally Posted by alaskacouple

All that said though, sex can be a good thing or a bad thing. If done with love it can be an expression of that love regardless of whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. But, done in a selfish 'physical only' way, it can cause great pain and emotional damage - again regardless of whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. It seems to me that all things done in love can be good. Thus the wisdom that has come down through the ages - "Love and do no harm"

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Interesting point. As you say, sex (homosexual OR heterosexual) may have various motives. And I think I'd agree that love is a more preferable motive than pure lust, in most cases. Perhaps defining when this love is present may be the key...

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Originally Posted by Skater Boy

Interesting point. As you say, sex (homosexual OR heterosexual) may have various motives. And I think I'd agree that love is a more preferable motive than pure lust, in most cases. Perhaps defining when this love is present may be the key...

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I think "lust" has it's place. Provided, that the lust is mutual between the parties involved and there are not false promises of love to mask the lust - or even worse the forced expressions of lust such as rape and abuse(such as can be the case where one party is emotionally damaged and even consents to being "used", but that doesn't mean there is no pain or damage done). In other words, lust is fun! (and pretty darn universal), so long as it doesn't add pain to anyone.

But it ain't as good as love, me thinks. And your right about knowing when this love is present being the tricky part. (but oft times we know it is not and yet we fulfill our lust anyway - love 'em and leave 'em, so the saying goes...should be; screw 'em and hurt 'em and I don't care)

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Originally Posted by heavyfnmetal

The big deal? "It ain't natural!"... That's what I keep hearing in the south. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal really is. People feel attraction, especially if they're horny. That attraction can go anywhere, male or female. But it's more socially acceptable to be straight. People fear what they do not understand... I totally stole that quote from somewhere. Or maybe... they fear what they feel society has told them NOT to understand... hmm... I guess it's a lot easier being ignorant. God forbid you should have to use your own brain and think about something for yourself, and come to your own conclusions. Just do what society says, and you'll be fine.

That was quite a ramble... almost sounded a little deep for a second there, heh.

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Yeah, I hear that too. I just ignore those people. I honesty don't get it. Maybe it's because of how I am or because I am open-minded.... but the whole 'ain't natural' or 'abomination of God' thing - I don't get it.
I was having this conversation last night w/ this chick. I was buzzed so I kinda forget how it really went but something about 3-some's came up and she was saying something about how she couldn't do it cause God could see her and wouldn't approve or something along those lines. And I was like I don't think my personal relationship with God has anything to do with what I do sexually. I mean, does God want a woman to suck a guy's dick? Or have sex even without the plan to pro-create? I mean God doesn't care if a woman sucks a guy off but a guy can't suck a guy off? I just don't think that is what matters in the world. Maybe I am just weird. Way more important things to deal with....
But about those homophobic bible-thumpers, I honestly think it's their own internalized homosexual tendencies they hate themselves for...

"you say he's a faggot, does it make you want to hurt him?
you say he's a faggot, do you want to kick in his brains?
you say he's a faggot, does it make you sick to your stomach?
you say he's a faggot, are you afraid you are just the same?
do you hate him, cause he's pieces of you?"

I was interduced to sex by a older man when I was 13. he told me he wanted to show me something. He did his cock and i was courious it was bigger then mine and i wanted to touch it. He ask me to pull out mine which I gladdly did. He played with my dick ,it was hard before I pulled it out. He used a vibrator on my cock it felt so good . It did not take me long to shoot my load. He was alot older then me his cock would not get all the way hard, I would play with it anyway trying to get it hard. I sucked on it but it still would not get hard. I was wanting to know about sex before he did this I just never had the chance to play with another man. This let me know that what I was feeling was what I wanted to try. He sucked my cock many times he never did get all the way hard no matter how hard I tried to make it hard. My brother ask me to let him rub his cock on my ass whan we were about 7 or 8 . I knew then I wanted to try that so I let him. when he was behind me I spread my ass cheeks and told him to stich it in my ass. he would not go that far. I wanted to feel it in my ass. Later I tried to get my best friend to let me suck his cock he did't want to. later when I was in the army I let a friend move in with me. One day we were getting drung he ask me if I ever had sex with a man I said yes so we went from there. I sucked his cock off it did not take him long. He did not like sucking cock. I let him fuck my ass it felt good to have a hard cock in my ass. When i was younger I use to stick broom handles and anything else round I could find in my ass. Then I tried to fuck his ass did not take my time just tried to stick it in it hurt him that was it he didn't want to try it again. I told him I would be his little bitch and was for a while till he moved back home. I'm looking for a friend to play with on a regular basis. I have known I was bi all my life. I have never pleyed with a couple really looking forward to that....

Well last time I updated it got a few more posts so I thought I'd try again. I'm sure there are a lot of others who would like to share their first experiences. It's often times pleasant to rethink those experiences and share them with others.

So, do we seem to be having a nature/nuture debate? It seems that way to me. Some of you have mentioned moletsation and/or childhood experimentation. I would say that mine was kind of both, but I may never really know.

I was young perhaps 9, 10 or 11, and my older brother (by 3 yrs) who had hit puberty and was experimenting himself, sorta seduced me into to playing with him. It started by looking at our father's Penthouse mags, and somewhere in there, I discovered I was more turned on by the stories & pics that included men. My brother got me to take him in my mouth a couple of times, never to completion though. We had a handfull of times like that together, then he got a serious girlfriend, and I realize now that I felt abandoned.

He and I stopped talking somewhere in our highschool years. We almost never speak or see eachother as adults. So when I look back at the past, I often wonder about this nature/nurture question. And I'm about to take the safe way out. I agree with what's been said that we seem to be born bi, that anyone's plumbing will do, (if it feels good.) So in the question of orientation, then i think we're all born bi, and then fall into the social pattern that we feel most drawn too. As far as nurture or molestation, I think it affects your roleplay more than your sexual identity. That is, depending on the molestation, you might end up as a devout Top or Bottom.

But that's just my cents.

lol My experiance reads like oneof my erotic works, or a bad porn story...lol
I had met this great guy in high school, and had intended to meet him after school for some hot play. We got naked and I had sucked him to beautiful hardness while he kissed, licked and bit my large young titties. I decided to climb on top to do some "Cowgirling". I was riding hard and mean, and was thiiiisss close to coating his large cock with girl cum when the bedroom door opened, and in walked his lady! I froze like the proverbial rabbit, and stared at her. She looked at me, and I just Knew here was a jealous wife or girlfriend that was going to Kick my young 17 yro ass! She turned out to be his wife, and she was bi.
She just grinned and he said, "Oh Hi, Hon. Come in and watch Cat fuck me"
I sat there totally dumbfounded.I didnt know What to do. She came in, and began to take off her clothes too! All I could do is stare. She came over and purred, "OMG! Look at those big, beautiful titties! Can I touch, please?" (38D back in those days...)

All I could do was nod and mutter, "Uhmm...sure"
I hada slight bi encounter with a school mate when I was 11, but nothing major, and here this pretty lady was, telling me to keep fucking her honey. She asked if she could kiss my nipples, and I again said yes. Between his thrusting up into me, and she fondling my titties, and kissing me, I had the biggest orgasm of my whole Life!
I loved the feeling of her silkyness, and loved that she kissed so gently and warmly. I also loved making her moan with my mouth a bit later. I had never pleasured a woman orally before, and was told that I was a natural. I was always good with men, but never knew I could make a woman cum with my hot, talented mouth.
She ate me next as her honey watched, and used a toy on me. Back then they were the hard plastic things, but they vibed nice and I discovered how much fun they were..lol
He used protection on both of us and we played as often as we could. I'd see them on weekends and after school on the weekdays. We almost always fucked our brains out..lol

I was heart broken when he was transfered out of state with the Air Force. She and I both made passionate tender love the night before they left, and he and I fucked like rabbits...he behind me while I made her cum with my fingers, tongue and her toys...
We girls cried, and I was so very sad to lose them. He told me if I werent so young, he'd send for me and we'd all three live together.
I never heard from them again, but they were the best experiance of my young life. :} Well..ONE of the best experiances...lol
Cat

I think these stories are more about how we *realized* we were bi more than how we *became* bi. How we became bi is a much more complicated question, and we could debate until the cows come home about whether it was genetic, whether it had to do with our hormone levels, whether our parents raised us a particular way or we chose it, or what. If you ask me, there is no such thing as gay/bi/straight, there are only PEOPLE, and people are attracted to people, and gender entering into the equation is a cultural thing. In some cultures and time periods, who you had sex with was not even a function of gender, but rather of status in the community or some other factor, and distinctions like homosexual/heterosexual/bisexual would have had no meaning, and in some, what mattered wasn't the gender of your partner, but rather whether you were penetrating or being penetrated. "Gay," "bisexual," and "straight" are all 20th/21st century Western ways of looking at sexuality, and I don't think they are any more right or real than any other way; we are all products of our respective cultures, but I think underneath all that, we are just people, period. We don't have a word for people who prefer redheads and a different word for people who prefer blondes, so why should we have words for people who prefer genitals of one shape over genitals of another shape?

(Been discussing this in my Queer Studies class, couldn't resist.)

how i got this way? i dont know how? i can only speculate.my spelling sucks.for as long as i can remember i realy liked guys and girls. sometimes guys more. i to as a kid was raised in a very poor family full of alcaholism,violence, molestaion of the children. i dont believe that one who gets molested as a kid will do the same as an adult. i broke the cycle with my family.although it does happen in some casses. we all have to deal with our childhood and go on in life and sometimes with therapy.anyway i have been bi all my life who knows how i got this way. all as i know i was born this way, i do know is i like who i am and im not changing. :bipride::bipride::bipride: