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Bisexuality Confusing You?

  1. hanalee
    hanalee
    My whole life I have been fluctuating between gay and straight. It was only in my senior year that I felt confident enough to come out to my close friends in high school. I even had my first girlfriend. And being in such a warm, welcoming environment, I was able to openly discuss my feelings with others who shared them.

    I found out that year that not only was I bisexual, but so were three of my friends who were previously calling themselves "straight," just like I was. One of these people was my girlfriend that year. And talking with them, I realized that I wasn't the only one who came to the conclusion of, "Well, since I like both, and I don't want to be the center of attention, I'll just focus on my straight-leaning side."

    I've been seeing some concerns here that my friends voiced back then. "Sometimes, I am totally into girls, and I think, 'maybe I'm a lesbian,' but then later, like even the next day even, I'll be all, 'That guy is so frickin hot!' It's kind of making me wonder, if I do get a boyfriend/girlfriend, will I remain into them all the time?"

    The fact of the matter is, no one is into their significant other all the time. Believe me, ask anyone who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend for longer than six months and they'll tell you the same thing. What is important is that you want to be with that person, regardless of what gender s/he is.

    I have learned, through research, discussions, and my own experience that these fluctuations are normal. To me, bisexuality is one of the most beautiful things, because it doubles the opportunity for love. As Alyssa from "Chasing Amy" puts it, "The way the world is - how seldom you meet that one person who gets you... it's so rare... And to cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn't."

    So just be reassured that it's OK to be confused about your sexuality and what to label yourself. So try not to fret so much over labels. Feelings change, and it's completely normal. Just know that by not categorizing yourself, you're open to find love with anyone.
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