When I was married my x knew I wore her panties because they would get stretched out and would be too loose when she wore them.
My wife didn't really know I was queer until many years after we got married. I started fooling around with her panties a bit. She must not have liked that as she ended up making me 3 pair so I wouldn't wear hers. I'm not really that happy with the ones she made me, though, as they don't fit well. I'd prefer to buy some of the ones made for men but they're expensive and it might hurt the wife's feelings if I buy some instead of having her make some. She seemed all hurt some years ago when I bought a rainbow colored jock strap.