DD's Corner This and That and in between

Well, guess I should update. Had a hearing regarding disability. The conclusion from that was they needed more poking and prodding to be sure.

The medical doctor called for it, could only offer inconclusive open ended diagnostics regarding my KS. They stipulated it may have influence on psychology. The psychologist could only provide inconclusive statements regarding that, and said with a therapist seeing me bringing up PTSD & non determinable symptoms, they would find a diagnose difficult. They did not get the occupational expert. Between the medical and psychologist it sounded as though I'm some troglodyte misanthrope from the stone ages.

One thing which came forward I was unaware of, the psychologist said I live in hyper-reality. And no this is nothing to do with the world wide web, although could possible be seen as comparable. The psychologist asked the judge if she could likely say that Santa Claus was responsible for global warming. Of course the judge could not say that. The psychologist replied that I could, weather I realized it or not, create a congruent story line in which such was the case, or even make the Easter Bunny a symbol of the planet Mars having conquered our planet.

The judge asked, if then maybe I were delusional. The psychologist replied in the negative. I was just capable of bringing everything to bear to sort out a logical story, create such a story. And I was capable of that even in sleep, unable to reach the dream state often, unlike "normal" folk whom nearly always dream. My body exhausts itself, my mind just stays conscious and doesn't exhaust, merely creates all possibilities, or as many as possible.

The psychologist explained this could help contribute to depression, frustration in the sense that technically in my mind at least I will have "been there and done that" far too many times to count. My mind takes me into the future albeit by means of over thinking, and being determinately too fast, too aware ... hyper.

Then the physical doctor chimed in, "but then he has synaptic gaps from faulty wiring for lack of better terminology. His nerves do not relay it all, even if they were capable of it, well ... physiologically I would suggest madness." She ended by looking to the psychologist whom merely nodded.

So, ultimately as my wife jokes "they can't define your type of crazy." :) At least they know I'm crazy and have some physical issues. They just are not able to pin anything down with assurance on their end, and they would like to be able to. I keep grumbling that ought to just go on and provide the stipend, be done with me. But no, they need more tests to tell them what they already sense. I am broken fool what fell between their cracks, ought to have been on disability the full of my life but I tried avoiding it. Did my best. Now, I can no longer keep at that. Now, I ask for help.

Bureaucracy for you. And if if I go onto disability, it's all the same for me, affordable care or not. I'd be on medicaid, medicare, disability and SSI. At present I have the state issued medical card, medicaid I believe. It helps covering most of the meds I take. Low income would be all the same, ACA covers all low income folk.

I don't really know what to do with this new health care law. I get my health care provided from the VA and I haven't had any insurance beyond that the past few years---I had a COBRA from my last full time employer and ran that out--but shit--that was expensive as all get out---it was like three or four times per month what I paid when I was with the company. I tried to get insurance from some private providers after it expired, but due to some things in my health record---I had "a pre-existing condition"--so I got denied by most carriers and the one insurance company that would take me----I simply could not afford.

I do need to check to see if I am under obligation to get some insurance now that they cannot deny me for the things I got denied for previously.

It is too bad that they really tracked up this website thing----that really was stupid on the part of Obama----he had to know that the Republicans were gunning for him on this--and he handed them both the guns and ammo that they are gleefully using to open fire on him and "Obamacare," so he has no one to blame but himself for all the shit he is getting on him thanks to this mess.

I don't think that its the worst law EVER as some try to say---that is just both hyperbole and political posturing on the part of those who say this---but I do agree--it all probably could and should have been done better than what was come up with on the Affordable Care Act/Obamacare.