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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Over the decades, I've given a lot of guys their first experience with dick and I've been in the situation even more times when a guy wants to take the plunge... but he's just too afraid. Fear of being found out; oddly, not so much fear about catching something nasty; fear of becoming gay - this is a major one - but I think the biggest fear is not knowing what's gonna happen and whether or not they're gonna like it as much as they think they will.

If that last thing sounds silly to you, don't laugh: It's a very real fear and I'll tell you why. It's one thing to know that guys have sex with each other; it's one thing to actually know another guy who has; it's is seriously a different kettle of fish when you're the one looking to do something for the first time. Given how much gay porn is available, one can easily see guys getting at each other and this, too, is another kettle of fish. It's "real," you can see and hear it... but that's the guys on the screen and that creates a disconnect that, in my experiences, does little to alleviate fears.

When it comes to the first time, I guess it's just human nature to always think of the worst that can happen... and the human mind is more than capable of creating fears that, in reality, don't exist or may never make an appearance. I've sat and listened to guys "what if" themselves so much it's given me a headache and the one thing I learned is that if a guy believes that the worst is going to happen, good luck trying to convince him otherwise. What makes things even more difficult are all of the horror stories making the rounds; we will even hear of a guy's crappy first experience and can, somehow, convince ourselves that our first time is going to be just as bad... or much, much worse.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It was, if nothing else, the easiest way to find out about sex; why run around looking for someone else who might want to do it when you lived with someone who would be, most of the time, very interested in doing it? When you would find yourself stuck in the house for some reason and you couldn't go outside - but you wanted to do it with someone - well, if you had a brother or sister and they were willing, you didn't need to go outside even if you could.

Just don't get caught. Some did and some never got caught... but I still believe that a lot of parents [B]knew[/B] what was going on and didn't say anything about it and they knew that their kids were having sex with other kids, too. Shit... I got one hell of a beating because my mom and grandmom [B]thought [/B]I was screwing my sister. Well, I was... but not when they jumped on me and started beating the shit out of me. I thought my sister had ratted us out but after my very bad beating, she told me that she hadn't said a thing about it. It was just that as adults, they just believed that it [B]might[/B] happen so my beating was a pre-emptive strike.

So, yeah - adults knew.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]When I've talked to others about this, they're either excited... or very appalled that the "I" word was going on as much as it was. Those who'd be shocked and appalled would always say it was abuse... and sometimes it was by any definition but I knew, even if they didn't, that it wasn't always as bad as they - or anyone else - thought about it. Those of us who were "into it" [B]wanted[/B] to be into it. The sex we had this way was better than the sex we were having with each other.

Of course, there were those who were very afraid of this and/or totally against it and that made sense; they'd do it with someone else before doing it with a sibling or cousin... and being the very smart kid I was, I knew there was a lesson to be learned and, namely, it happened but not to or with everyone who was on the crazy train about having sex. Like I said, it was so commonplace where I grew up that no one thought it was unusual and if it didn't teach me anything else, it taught me that you could have sex with [B]anyone[/B] and it was better when you or they wanted to do it. Making someone do it like this was very bad - that much was very clear. But if they wanted to? It just wasn't a problem at all and no one who wanted to wound up being traumatized or scarred in any way.

Then I found out that it didn't happen just in my neighborhood and it just wasn't Black kids even though we did have this one white family whose kids were very much into have sex and with their siblings... or anyone else who wanted to do it. One of my friends had a very alcoholic mother who'd get drunk... and wanted her son to fuck her; I not only saw this but I got invited to join in one time and, no - I didn't hesitate or think twice about it even though I did think it was kinda weird. And that guy wasn't the only one screwing his mom; we did think that was unusual because if a parent was involved, it was usually a dad screwing his son... or his daughter but, okay, moms could do the same thing and that, too, just stopped being unusual to us.

You find out about this and, yeah, it seriously freaks a lot of people out and that's understandable... but I learned that if you thought or believed that it never happened and shouldn't happen, well, you'd be wrong about that because it did and more than anyone could possible imagine.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There were some guys who were... forced to do it. Some wound up being traumatized by it while more of them just went with it and learned to like it. I though this was weird and it took me a lot of years to figure out why being made to do it didn't make them crazy. If anything, this was the bad part of being exposed to the "I" word.

One day, a friend and I had been hanging out in front of his place when his father called him in - and his dad seemed to be mad about something. He went in and I just went with him and his father got in his case about not making his bed and doing his chores before going out and even I could sense that he was going to be punished for it... but what I didn't have a clue about was how he was gonna be punished. When it became clear to my friend that his punishment was gonna happen, he looked like he would rather be run over by a car but that didn't surprise me because, really - who liked getting a beating?

So when his dad pulled his dick out and shoved it my friend's mouth, I was beyond shocked and I started to run - but he told me to stay right where I was so I could see what happened to boys who didn't do as they were told. It was horrible and, I had to admit, exciting, too. I was frozen in place and afraid to move as the dad, wow, did he ever fuck his son in the ass! The thing that got to me was even though my friend seemed to hate it, he also didn't seem to hate it all that much. I was just glad his father didn't get it into his head to do that to me!

This, too, was just the way it was. If it wasn't a brother or, gasp, a dad or uncle, there were a lot of guys who got introduced to dicks by a cousin - a whole lot of them. It used to make me wonder if cousins - and cousins who didn't live in the city - were just hornier than anyone else. One friend had a cousin visit with him and he introduced his cousin to us and the firs thing the guy wanted to know was who liked doing it with boys - then proceeded to do it to our friend and he was more than happy to do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Quite a few times, I got to watch siblings doing each other and more brother on brother than brother on sister and, the first time I saw it, I was... confused and "shocked" that my friend and his older brother would do it in front of me since we all understood that doing it to another boy was best kept as much of a secret as possible. That first time, I was at my friend's house as his parents were leaving and his brother was coming in to watch him while they were gone. The parents hadn't been gone a good two minutes before the older brother just pulled his dick out and walked over to my friend, whose eyes lit up like it was Christmas. Before he started sucking his brother's dick, he smiled at me like he had stolen something and his brother looked at me, winked, and settled in to be sucked before yanking down his brother's gear and just shoving his dick in - and the fact that it went in so easily and without any Vaseline told me it wasn't the first time they'd done it.

I was mad because I wasn't invited to join in, too. But in other moments, I'd be invited. Some guys had sisters who were, well, they were sluts; they loved having boys do it to them and loved sucking any dick they could suck and their brother or brothers were their main customer. It was so common that if I was hanging out with a guy and his "slutty" sister and she announced that she wanted both of us to do it to her, I just never thought twice about it and more so after my sister and I started doing it.

It just was what it was. Nothing unusual going on here. I watched one of my friends who had three older brothers be in heaven when all three of them took turns doing it to him; I was mad because I wasn't invited and I was "impressed" that the four of them were that bold to do it in front of me - the jerks![/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A lot of guys I knew got turned onto dick via the "I" word; later in life and when I'd think back to those days, I realized that it was so commonplace that it wasn't seen as being "abnormal." When we weren't having sex with each other, we'd talk about who else we were doing it to (or who was doing it to us) and finding out that some of the guys with siblings were having a field day having sex with them.

A couple of them had much older brothers - teenagers, who were ancient to us - and because they would often see them naked and getting a eyeful of their "gigantic" dicks, they'd often talk about wanting their big brother to do it to them or, at the least, let them suck their dick. One guy said that he was sure his big bro wanted to do something but wasn't making a move - and the rest of us would ooh and aah and even say how lucky he was. I don't remember if it actually happened for him but if any of us were really feeling bad about having sex with our siblings/other relatives, that kinda went away because, well, pretty much all of us were very interested in it.

You just don't feel bad about it when you know you're not the only one.

A few guys were very familiar with their father's dick - we thought those guys were really cool. There were three guys who "cut their teeth" sucking their dad's cock and getting their ass broken in with it... and there were a few more who'd often tell the rest of us that they wanted their daddy's dick really bad but didn't know how to get him to give it to them. Even I had seen my father's cock more than a few times - that man had no modesty whatsoever and, yeah, I'd often daydream about having his dick in my mouth or feeling it being squeezed into my butt and if nothing else, it made for some good imagery to jerk off to.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Putting space between kids? Great idea... doesn't always work. Even as I kid, I knew that there was no way in hell my parents - or any parents - could watch us 24/7. For the longest time, my siblings and I slept in the same room with each other and even when we finally moved to a place where my brother and I shared a room - and my sisters shared a room - well, that didn't stop anything from happening. We knew what kind of trouble we could get into and we all felt that it was worth it. I knew my sisters were doing each other because I'd seen them going at each other and, obviously, me and my brother were doing it to each other every chance we got... which was pretty much every day most of the time. If nothing else, it was convenient and it was a bond that we shared with each other even when we'd fight like cats and dogs.

Sigh. It's not supposed to happen. It doesn't always happen... but it does happen. Maybe just once. Maybe more than once. If parents don't intervene, the kids are usually the ones to call a halt to things at some point... and sometimes, they don't and even into adulthood. Brothers and sisters see each other naked sometimes and they spend a lot of time together; almost everyone has that favorite cousin who is like a brother or sister to them and if you think they're not talking about sex, well, wake up and smell the coffee. If you think that brothers and sisters don't see each other growing up and developing, well, they do... and if you think that they're not going to, at the very least, think about having sex with each other, well, you're pretty clueless, I hate to tell you.

Maybe they won't... and maybe they will. It's illegal and immoral and I can tell you for a fact that it has [B]never[/B] stopped it from happening. Some get caught and punished... and some never do. You can be totally against such behavior but it doesn't ever change the fact that it happens. That's just the way it is and the way it has always been. Really... if you are religious and you know about Adam and Eve and all the trouble they got into, have you ever asked yourself where all the other people came from if, in fact, the only woman in the world was Eve? And I'm not the only one who has ever questioned this and I've heard others talk about Lilith but there is no reference to her in the bible anywhere that I've seen - if she existed, um, where did she come from when, again, Eve was the only woman on the planet?

This is a very touchy subject and one people don't really wanna talk about. Many of us discovered sex and sexuality this way and many of us do, in fact, act as if it never happened - that should tell you how weird we behave about sex and in this context... and I am the guy who has the nerve to say something about the whole incest thing.

And, finally, there's this: Just because it's something you didn't experience never means that no one else didn't or that they shouldn't have.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]My cousins? My male cousin and I had sex with each other for months before it just stopped pretty much on its own and, honestly, the game we'd play so we could do it had long since gotten on my nerves. My female cousin, oh, my god - she was (and still is) beautiful and I was so in love with her so when she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her, I didn't hesitate. The funny thing is that she really wanted to have sex with the cousin I'd been having sex with - but he kept refusing her (the dummy) and, as she told me, "I somehow knew that you wouldn't say no..."

Here's the thing I figured out: If I - and others - were having sex via incest, when I became a parent, it was very possible that my kids were gonna check out sex this way, too. Shit! But I also realized, being the very smart kid that I was, that incest has always happened and that's why there were rules and laws against it and I knew, for a fact, that those rules and laws really didn't stop anyone from doing it - and it's only illegal if you get caught. Growing up, a lot of brothers and sisters got into big time trouble because they were fucking... and somebody got pregnant. One guy I know almost got beaten to death when he got caught having sex with his brother... and one of my friends got killed when his father caught him and his sister fucking... and the dirty secret was that dad was fucking her, too - or so the rumors said.

The question in my mind was: Is this [B]really[/B] that bad of a thing and more so as long as nobody got hurt - read this as they were forced to do it - or a sister or girl cousin didn't get pregnant? My kid logic said that if it wasn't forced and sisters/other female relatives didn't get pregnant, well, what's the problem? Again, I'd learn the answer to that later on... but what I knew was that if siblings - or any other family member - wanted to have sex, it was gonna happen. I knew of mothers who were fucking their sons and daughter, fathers who were fucking their daughters and their sons; there was always that one "creepy uncle" in the mix somewhere and knowing about this was really teaching me something about sex - anyone could do it with anyone and literally so and the only real bad thing was if they were forced to do it.

Otherwise, hmm. People have always been doing it like this and I was smart enough to understand that there was really nothing anyone could do or say to stop it from happening. When my own children got into it, it really didn't bother me a whole lot because I knew it would - it was a matter of when and not a matter of if. I sat them down and told them why they shouldn't do it with each other and I didn't pull any punches, either: They could be taken away from us and we could go to jail because we didn't do anything to stop it; I hit them with every horror story I knew about... and I knew that it was all I could really do other than to keep an eye on them.

Yeah... a fucked up kind of decision but, again, I knew that trying to prevent it would only result in them wanting to find out why they shouldn't do it. One day, my daughter came to me and complained about her brothers doing her and I put a stop to it; again, I knew it would happen, I knew it was either going to stop on its own or I'd have to step in and stop it. Did that make me a bad parent because I dutifully told them not to do it... and let them do it anyway and because I knew I couldn't stop it? You be the judge. I can tell you that it didn't scar or fuck them up - and because they told me it didn't and I did make it a point to talk to each of them about it once they got much older.

And then I warned them that when they had children, guess what might happen? They were gonna have to find a way to deal with this because incest, for better or worse, is a fact of life and one that we don't ever want to talk about. We act like it can't or won't happen when we also know that it can happen.[/SIZE][/FONT]