I learned late this evening Lynette died.. Lynette.. Linnet.. my once lovely little bird. Once truly beautiful and so well loved yet whose self destructive urges crushed and hurt everyone with whom she came into contact. I loved her once, and she threw it and me away as nothing and moved on. My anger and bitterness back then should have taught me much, yet it was my own failings which eventually brought home to me the lesson of Linnet. For all the pain she caused, I could never hate her..,have never hated her. However much she twisted everything she touched and poisoned every relationship she had. Man, woman, boy and girl, she collected us all, we loved her and she cast us aside as if none of us mattered, but inside of her was a scared little girl searching for paradise by stretching for the stars and finding them too hot to handle. Drink and drugs, copious quantities of sex, partying and God knows what else all took their toll and from the beautiful, sexy creature I knew and cared so much for not so many years ago was marked and obliterated by her own misadventure. No longer lovely, No longer exquisite to gaze upon.. just another wasted tragic life. One of so many in this city and elsewhere in our world. I wrote of Lynette recently and have seen her but once since I visited her in hospital.. aged and marked by a life of sordid and tragic circumstance, much of hher own making, sucked in and drained by her own weakness, fear and selfishness, she at least had begun to make peace with the world. She certainly made her peace with me. And I am glad of that for no one should leave this world filled with contempt,hatred and loathing, even of or for themselves. I have long since forgiven Linnet pain caused to me. Her own agonies are now gone and she can harm no other.. most of all she can no longer harm herself and and suffer the conflicts which were within her... I gained but little hints, and I am the first to admit to never fully understanding her, nor do I believe did any other..but we did make our peace.. it is simply so tragic that her internal conflict was too hard to for her to bear.. she didn't want to get well, of that I am firmly convinced and no one will ever convince me otherwise.. I sometimes tell people that once I love I never quite stop.. it is as true about Lyn as of anyone in my past.. there is a little corner of my heart remains forever hers.. no one is all bad and I have never believed that Lyn was any different... so few who knew her have much good to say of her but for all the pain she gave to the world.. all that fucking grief she gave to us all.. our last two meetings showed me that she gave far more pain. agony and grief to herself than she ever did to any of us..... the Linnet is free now, and if I do not believe in God, for that little bird I truly hope to be wrong and that she finds a place where she can fly with the freedom, peace and joy she never had in this life, once again beautiful and probably for the first time happy. *laffs* Spread those fucking wings u tart!!! It will be a change from ya bloody legs!! RIP
I will try to use periods lol try.... Anyways id like to say thanks for all who read my blogs. So great things about being bi the scenery. I was at my fav;)orite bar with my wife and enjoying some live music. And so beautiful scenery but i find myself looking at the fellas more than the ladies. I found my girl but a could around here would be kewl. Anyways so that's what's kewl about being bi it's not a problem its a fun soultion in socitey that's my thought for today not as exciting as the last 2 but not all can be so enjoy being bi and be safe until next time .....
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Hey guys and gals i have to warn ya periods are not my friend you have been warned lol anyways the subject today who out there has been outed this guy was by a x ok i will tell ya the story we were at the bar and a bunch of my friends and me and my gf was out i don't know what exactly brought it up but my x outed me infront of alot of my friends of course i tried to deny it because i was embarrassed of course even though i knew it was true after that for a joke someone played dancing queen it hurt i won't lie so i had to take my best friend and he asked me if it was true i said yes he said he was ok with it as long as i dont hit on him i laughed and said he wasn't my type lol but im out to alot of people but i can be me its scary but im me i don't know why i feel this way but i do and no matter what know one can change you and you can try to hide your feelings but you can't so enjoy and i know alot has to hide it so be safe but remember its apart of you now so be you its easier in the end..... until next time all please coment id love to hear from all of ya friends like me bi guys or bi girls drop me a line who couldn't use more friends that feel this way questions r kewl too....
Updated May 24, 2012 at 2:07 AM by biguymarried33
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Basking in the late afternoon sun as a rare solar eclipse is occurring ; if I hadn't been watching the news during the week-end, I'd be completely oblivious. Seems like a typical tranquil, warm, mid-May afternoon in the neighborhood. Transplanted an African cactus just prior to the eclipse; seems to be enjoying the therapeutic, vitamin D producing qualities of 'old Sol ' as I am. 2012 rocks! Bring on the Mayan predictions!
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