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I've been broken up with my ex since last Xmas, sadly she doesn't want to come to the realization I am not coming back to her and she calls all the time and expects me to help or fix things, visit or do things together, I didn't decide to leave the relationship because we were getting along so it's been a long year of retreating and letting her figure it out herself. Long story short, I feel as if I should be moving on with my life and dating, and specifically hooking up with men, something that proved to be hard to resist when you are in a relationship for 8 yrs. Not one week went by that I didn't fantasize about finding a new male lover during the whole 8 yrs, every time I was alone I would ride my dildos at home alone, and funny enough I had to keep throwing most of them away, being paranoid she would come over and find them, she was and is a bit of a snoop with lucky tendencies as far as opening drawer or box she shouldn't and finding a object she shouldn't even see ever.

So here I am almost a year later from dating and I had no toys around to play with for about a yr, I was on my way home in Oct on a Sun and saw a xxx store was still open at 11pm, I turned the car around and headed inside, I took a quick walk around the store and saw a lot of stuff I already had before, regular sized vibes and dildos, P Spot vibes etc, nothing that made me say "ahh"

And that's when I saw a big monster on the wall, a rarity in vibes, 10" and 7.25 around, usually vibes stop at 9 "with 7 " insertible and almost never thick like this one was, the package was about 15" itself, it was really big for me as I hadn't had much fun with the lurking g/f around all the time and calling me every hour or 2 for most of the 8 yrs we dated, she was always checking in and god forbid you didn't answer her.. So thinking I'm fucking single and don't have to hide shit, went for it, made my way home all excited and put the batteries in and grabbed the lube and yep, tight as a drum, took a while and lots of relaxing to get the head in and whoomp, the old memory kicked in and it slid past and in about 7" the first night, got all the way to the balls 8.5" the next day or 2 and was starting to slowly get looser to enjoy riding it for 30 or 40 mins a few times.

Flash forward a month and using that thing sometimes 3 times a day, waking up horny, I'd rub my nipples slowly and feel my body tingling as I lay there, I'd reach for my morning wake up ride and clean up after my hands free explosions, then lunchtime I'd be thinking about him and get a tingle in my ass wanting more, then another afternoon delight before dinner and take a few days off.I got used to it quickly but had intentions of getting another unless it was smaller and I wasn't in any rush with my big boy and free mind pushing me to enjoy the big guy fear and guilt free, then the balls started to show a tear in the front from me grabbing and twisting them to insert it inside myself, it is never just a pop in and ride vibe, its big and thick remember? So I started looking around a few weeks ago for a new vibe as I heated up a knife and sealed it but it would tear eventually so why wait for it, buy another and don't stress if it goes, so online later, I found the big brother to my newest one, a Curve Novelties vibe that's 11" x 8.5", 9.5 of it insertible, it looks big, almost too big but F it, I'm down for it now, it should be here this week, in the meantime they had a sale and free delivery and 30% off on the site so I took a look around and decided to make a small collection for myself now that I'm single and don't need to hide my love for all things penis any more. First I bought a Ron Jeremy 8.5" x 6" dildo, then a Doc Johnson 12" x 6"" cyberskyn model, 3rd was a 7" x 6" fuctioning foreskin by King Cock dildo that is new to the market and looks real-ish, really real tbh. Then the icing on the cake and like sucking your first man you never forget that first look, a monster 16.5" x 9.75" King Cock dual density dildo that is 13.5" of insertible, I actually bought that one for the visual and to display proudly as a cock lover on my nightstand, I'm not sure I want to ruin my backside on it but who knows, I might keep on with the whole size and stretch fetish I recently opened up and am now turned on by after being so careful for all these yrs and keeping it normalish to an extent, it just feels so good to go deep and get filled in every millimetre of your hole, it's something that once you do, you'll never forget that feeling inside and how quick you orgasm as it slides in for the first time.

So Im sitting around and thinking, am I crazy buying all this stuff? I get bored of lying on my back or side and backing onto a pillow covered in a towel or lying on my side and pumping it or pushing it deeper, now I'm going to invest $500 to do the same thing with all these nw ones, boring, I wanted more freedom to ride a different way without a man around, to get ready to drop down on a big cock when it came along some day soonish hopefully, lovers do missionary, not fuck buddies, so I googled dildo stands lol, they have a few but it's limited to 3 styles, a chair with some flexible banding that you bounce up and down on, boring, or a blow up pillow fron China that everyone said was garbage and would deflate as you rode it lol., thetre was a cool, expensive half barrel deal that looks like a leathersaddle of sorts with a horn, only sit up style, no angles at $1300US, nah, I don't think so.

So the one I originally saw, a BonBon half barrel firm memory pillow type riding style for $150 that was sold out everywhere except the places that don't deliver to Canada lol. It was nowhere to be found except on one Canadian site for a bit more money but money is no match for a great hands free cum from anal. I have to laugh, before I thought of the pillow and bought it I was thinking about cancelling a few toys, now, I have deliveries on Mon, Tues, Fri and the rider on Fri, with a few more working their way through the system next week, so I went from nothing to everything in 5 wks, and I really can't wait to get and ride them all on my new pillow thing, looks like I'm going to be walking funny and feeling very sexually satisfied in the coming weeks and months, I was already walking funny after banging myself 3 times in one day a handful of times since Oct, I think anyone who knows the signs will be able to tell I've been busy if not now. in 2 weeks time I'll be wakking like I ride horses probably ha ha. So Merry Christmas to me and here's to finding a thick dick man to keep happy and keep the toys for once in a while.

Myself? Geeze, I have no clue, except to say most of my fantasies since I was 20 or so have involved men, maybe all of them really, hours and hours of laying in my various beds over the years, a waterbed in my teens and early 20s, a futon in college snd various models since then, all of them host to me pumping my rock hard cock, always willing and able to get up for a fantasy of my ideal man.


I pretty much jerk off all the time when I am single, even when I am in a relationship I might slip in the shower on vacation with my girl and jerk off to a guy I blew or some random thought. Funny part was even though I could only orgasm to thoughts of men I was in denial or questioning for years, I'd be fucking my girlfriend doggystyle and enjoying myself but still need to think about a guy named Bernie who really turned me on to blow my load in her, and still rationalized I was into women more lol.

Looking back I realized how long I spent in limbo, wondering, questioning, making excuses and sometimes it just a lack of suitable guys to play with that causes delays, actually that's the hardest part for me, finding a suck buddy,I don't do Apps or sites much, I think if it was there in front of me and available with the right type of guys I would not have questioned so long or much.

So that brings me to time, time spent in beds thinking, cumming and wondering, all of us, and it all leads to love of cock, time and cock.

Sharing my wife has been an ongoing thing for over 30 yrs, but this past weekend we shared the ultimate sex party. We are both bi and even at 60 yrs old her sexual prowness is 2nd to none. Her clean shaven en pussy is always up for sex. I knew a couple of men who are clean and like minded, I invited them over to our country home with lots of privacy. 3 plus me makes 4, she smiled at us and said I want your cum all over me. Watching her suck another mans cock and another fucking her tiny pussy had me rock hard and I was the 1st to loose it. I juiced her face as she sucked off another man as he cummed hard in her throat. She was over the moon, the 4th guy just stood there jacking off until his turn to fuck her, but not until I licked the precum off his cock. My wife said hey that?s for me and said share it, I kissed her with his precum all over my mouth as he shoved his dick deep inside her.

We literally played for over 5 hours, all us guys were drained dry, she was raw as hell and we all slept in a naked pile for the night. Early in the morning I was awakened buy her moaning as she was getting stuffed but my best friends cock.
Her legs were spread wide as he ground her hard and tight, well I had to play too so I teased her pussy and his cock and he pulled out to let me lick her cum soaked pussy off his cock. Once the others woke up we had another round of group sex u til she said fuck time out I can?t take any more. What a great weekend.

I should have known I was different, I was fantasizing about other guys sleeping with my girlfriend before I was 18, would bring it up and talk about it with my girl whenever we were talking sexual on the phone long distance as we lived in different cities a few yrs after we started dating and that was before we slept together at 18 or 19, she was a cute blond cheerleader, 95lbs and a nice slim body with nice features, not too stacked but sporty.

I would never let men hit on her or chat her up in real life but late at night and talking horny talk would ask her if she would like a really big cock after us witnessing her brother in laws big 10 pipe lying there for the world to see when we went camping one weekend up north, she surprised me when she said she would like an older black man to dominate her or to be watched having sex with a stranger. It was all fun and games when I was getting off to her telling me what she would do as I came but one day asked me why I was so interested in her and other men so I dropped it almost immediately thinking it was not normal obviously.

It wasn't until I saw a man stroking his cock while driving his car one night while I was taking the bus that I opened my eyes to men a little bit? Watching him stroke a thick 9 or 10 inch monster as he looked up at me at the red light had me blushing and turning away to make sure nobody else saw me looking down at him, when I realized it was just me looking I watched him until he turned off the road a few minutes later, I thought about him and his blatant show for yrs after, was he gay? What would it feel like to touch him, stroke him?

About a year later I got hit on by the bread man at the store I worked at, it was early in the morning and it was just him and I chatting as we usually did when he brought his clipboard over to sign off on his delivery, he reached under and goosed my cock hard, I jumped back and mumbled I have a g/f, I'm not like that, to which he replied, you know you loved it and exited the store and drove off quickly before I could say another word, I was confused and embarrassed he thought I was gay, why? Because I talked to him every week while he was there filling the shelves? Was I too friendly? Anyways, not long after I began to get hard thinking about him, wondering what he would have done had I locked the door and went to the basement with him, would I have sucked his cock, let him lay me down on a skid of pop and let him fuck me? In my fantasy yes! I did think of a hundred ways to suck his thick cock, him coming inside me, it wasn't long before I was thinking of faceless men forcing me to suck and please them, I would shudder after coming saying how gross that was and how I would never do it again. But of course, it would happen again and again, sometimes I would include my girl or another woman in my thoughts but it was always the men that got me off in the end.

This went on into my 20s when one of my buddies said he caught gis brother asleep on his bed with a marker sticking out his butt, it got me thinking how it would feel to have something inside me, so I tried candles, carrots carved and smoothed, it was nice but I still felt disgusted and swore I would never do it again, But as hard as I tried I could never get men or cock out of my mind in my fantasies.

I never fooled around with a man until my late 30s, he wasn't my type but he was gay and I opened up to him, asked questions stc, he told me he was married and had a son before he came to realize he wasn't getting over men either and left her to date men, I let him give me my first handjob and blowjob and tried sucking his wet little cock once after a few months of questioning and deciding this was my chance to see if I really wanted cock or men or if it was just a taboo jerk off fantasy gone wrong, I wasn't attracted to him and like I said he was tiny down there, finger sized tbh, but I did like the tinny taste his precum left in my mouth after, his soft foreskin and hard shaft in my mouth throbbing and pulsing as I half sucked him, going home that day I knew I would suck another mans cock again, it was so much of a turn on, after that I didn't lose interest in women as much asI lost my maintaining an erection, my new g/f at the time had a perfect ass and playboy tits, thin and down for anything, she got the idea something was wrong when I could never orgasm and always went soft every few minutes for no reason or wanted to lick her pussy multiple times hoping to get hard, the only position that could get me going was doggy, after a few weeks she said something about why doggy all the time? Most guys blew their load in her no problem in the past, I was the first to have issues and it was bothering her as to why she didn't excite me in the last month or so since we met and started dating, what was the issue, was I hiding something maybe? Long story short she had a friend of her investigate my i ternet activity through some site and came at me with my story about sucking a cock for the first time, said my monikers name and I just looked at her, she said really? If you like men why are you dating me? I left and called her a few days later to make some excuse but she just laughed at me and said she would be telling her friends about me if I called again so just go your own way but be honest with women next time and don't mess with their heads if you want men sexually.

I still dated women and some I could fuck over and over all night, funny but they all had gay or questioning ex's weird enough, I kept dating and realizing it was futile eventually got the nerve up to reply to m4m ads and meet a few men, I sucked a couple more cocks and made out with one guy who was really rugged and manly, it was eye opening realizing I liked it as much as with a female and really turned me on, I was hard as a rock with men, no fails there fortunately, they made me feel submissive and opened up a desire to maybe date more men romantically if it happened and be intimate with them, I am more than sure I could discretely fool around in public and more than enjoy it, it's very liberating but scary, there are a lot of weird guys out there with weird or creepy vibes, the clean, normal one's don't seem to be into ongoing or more or are hiding their sexuality for whatever reasons,

deep down I wish I wasn't so nervous about what people though earlier in my life, I probably missed out on some really good guys and many hot fantasies to jerk off to today, so here's to all of us finding what gets you hard and hot, don't be scared to reach out if a guy propositions you, it may not happen again for a long time if ever. Looking back I was bi and questioning for the better part of 20 yrs, then I realized I am more gay than bi, women don't really interest me other than aesthetic wise and memory wise, I don't get off to them at all in fantasy or irl now. That's my sign to find a man to cuddle up to and please.

I have been watching a lot of black men and white women porn. It an artistic sense, I enjoy the difference in colours of the participants' bodies. In a more erotic sense though, it makes me want to go to my knees and have some dude fuck my mouth, using it purely as a receptacle for his cum.

Siblings doing each other. Morally about as heinous as "anything can get." Yet, I grew up in an environment where brothers would do each other (and, often, sisters would get in on the act and action). We all knew that if we got caught doing it to each other, there would be hell to pay... but not as much hell is if brothers got caught at it.

I wouldn't dare say that parents, back then, were ignorant of such things but while there was a small group of very strict parents who'd go to any length to make sure their kids weren't having sex with each other, there were more who probably knew their kids were experimenting with each other and unless they got careless and got busted or someone complained about it, they were "happy" to let it slide.

One such pair of parents were my friend "Billy's" parents, one of the scattered white families in the neighborhood. Billy was one of us and was just as eager as we were to do some sucking and fucking. Other adults in the neighborhood would talk about them and not always in nice ways but they were part of the "village" just the same. Billy had two older brothers, a younger brother, and a younger sister and while I didn't have much interaction with the older brothers, I was good friends with the rest of them. I got invited to spend the night with Billy and was looking forward to it and so much that I showed up with my bag of stuff a bit early; hanging out with Billy was not only fun because we'd wind up having sex but he was that one kid among us who knew how to get into "trouble" and not get caught or suspected.

When I got there, his parents greeted me and told me that Billy was upstairs in his room and I could go in and up, which I did, thinking about how surprised he'd be to see me there early. Once I got to his room, I was the one who got surprised because there was my friend, on the bed, with his legs wrapped around one of his older brother's waist and being fucked! As I stood there with my mouth hanging open, I guess that Billy managed to see me over his brother's shoulder and, as if he weren't being vigorously fucked, told me to come on in - they'd be done in a moment or so. His brother turned to see me, said hi, and kept right on fucking Billy until, moments later he groaned and I knew that his brother was shooting his stuff into his brother.

In retrospect, I don't know why seeing this surprised me as much as it did because if you had a brother, chances were that you were having sex with him. And it wasn't like it was the first time I'd seen one of my friends having sex with a brother; I still don't know why seeing Billy being fucked by his brother surprised me and, if I had to guess, it's probably because he never mentioned it before.

The surprises kept coming, though; Billy's brother - and I can't remember his name - pulled out and rolled over, giving me a very good look at his dick, which was still kinda hard and kinda big. He looked at me, smiled, and said, "You might as well get some of him, too! Come on - I already know that you two have been at it!" To me, it was like I blinked - and then I was between Billy's legs and fucking him with his brother urging me on until I shot my stuff.

I sit here thinking about those days and, man - was I a whore about it or what? It took some doing for me to accept my behavior back then; it was hard to believe at times to think that before I was even a teenager, I'd sucked more dick and had been fucked more than most girls I knew - and I knew a lot of girls. It was so easy to do; didn't have to promise a guy anything, didn't have to beg and plead to get some dick and didn't have to worry about getting my heart broken when a girl would dump me for some other guy and for the dumbest of reasons. And while many guys were suffering with The Drought, I never did... because I could always find a dick to suck if nothing else and if they also wanted to fuck, that worked, too - it was worth having a sore asshole having a big dick stuffed in my butt... but sucking them was a lot easier and more, dare I say, rewarding. Cum tasted good... most of the time. Whether it was a little or a lot; whether they gave it to me quickly or it took a while to get it. Guys who gave it up quickly would feel bad about it and for a time, I did as well until I realized that even if the came fast, they did what I wanted them to do: Cum in my mouth so I could swallow it. I'd feel bad for them and even thought of the times when a guy sucking my dick would make me cum quickly and I thought that if I could get over feeling bad about that, I could not get mad at them when, sometimes, they'd cum in less than a minute. I'd even encourage them to not hold it back - just give it to me and if you don't take too long doing it, I might be able to get you to cum again if you can handle it. Some guys could and some guys just couldn't but when they couldn't, eh, it was their loss just as much as it was mine.

God... I was such a whore about it! Just give it to me and the less complicated you make it, the better for both of us. But changing times saw me changing my mind about it; guys were giving each other the clap and when HIV showed up it made no sense to wind up dying over needing to suck dick. If it did anything, it made me become pickier about it and to the point where I wasn't sucking dick for months at a time... but that's the beauty of being bisexual because I was still getting plenty of pussy from my wife and even more once we opened up our marriage so we could have sex with anyone we wanted to. I wasn't as much of a whore about sucking dick as I was in my younger days but, yeah, sucking dick was still good and more so if and when the guy wasn't being an asshole or a jerk about it. Many did their best to take away my joy of sucking dick... and I was determine to not let that happen so if you were my idea of an asshole, guess what we're not going to be doing?

A shame... but that, too, is what it is. Don't want to have your dick sucked? I understand... and I don't but that, too, is what it is. No longer that crazy cock whore I used to be but I still love sucking dick just the same.

I think about all the uncut dicks I could have sucked... and didn't until I was 50 damned years old. I get miffed about it today but it's water under the bridge because even though I was loathe to put a dick with all that ugly looking skin in my mouth, they could put it in my ass; not only did it feel good but it felt better because I wasn't looking at it. And shit like race didn't matter to me one bit. White guys were more open to it, it seemed to me and it was something I found to be curious, not that other guys weren't open to it but, eh, not as much as white guys were and I thought it was because we were raised differently and our parents being strict or not so much. I got culture shocked to have a white guy tell me that his parents knew he was having sex with boys and wasn't getting the shit beaten out of him for it; I still remember the day a white friend's father walked in on us while we were 69ing to tell us lunch was ready... and then, during lunch, he allayed my fears by telling me that it was okay because he knew that boys will be boys. I'd later wonder how he knew and would think that he knew because he might not have been a stranger to dick himself.

While it was easy to blame this on raging hormones, I knew it was more than that; it felt good. It tasted good. It made me feel good to be sucking a guy's dick and hearing him telling me how good it felt to him and hearing him cussing and all that and even more so when he shot his load into my mouth. I'd later learn about oral fixation but back then? Didn't know about it at all; all I knew was that having a guy's dick in my mouth made me feel good and I could make him feel good enough to cum in my mouth or, if he was fucking me, it felt so good to him that he'd cum in my ass. I'd started to feel... girly any time I sucked dick or got fucked and the feeling was, at first, disturbing because (1) I wasn't a girl and (2) I wasn't gay and like some guys I knew who'd tell me that they loved being the girl. I'd learn not to pay attention to that feeling because it would distract me from what I wanted to do: Suck a dick until the other guy cums so I could feel... complete and satisfied to swallow it all.

It didn't hurt that many of those guys were cock suckers, too, or if they hadn't been before they met me, they found out what I liked about it. I'd get my dick sucked by a guy and it would be so nice and even normal in that unlike some, I didn't find it weird at all. Girls would suck my dick - and I'd better not shoot that stuff in their mouth and save it for their pussy - but with guys, that was rarely the case; if you sucked dick, you took the sperm and if you weren't of a mind to do that, you didn't get to suck any dick. Over time, however, a lot of guys stopped being into it and that, for me, was a shame... but I still had a brother who had no qualms about us sucking and fucking each other. I remember that he busted his first nut with me and we were both surprised when he did it and it was funny how he reacted to it and pretty much the same way I had the first time I busted one. I'd told him what had happened and he was hyped and said, "I don't know what that was but I wanna do it again!"

We'd eventually get busted doing it and I was lucky to "survive" that moment but when I couldn't find a guy who wanted his dick sucked, I knew my brother wouldn't ever say no; why should I just masturbate when I slept in the same room with someone who wanted to suck me off or be fucked and more than willing to be sucked off and fuck me? Yeah, I know what it was... and I didn't care one bit and neither did he even though we'd grow up not liking each other a whole lot... but got along just fine when we were having sex.

Go figure.