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I understood the drive and need to have sex and I learned that there are rules about this... and they weren't always being obeyed. I would see the best and the very worse of it. Incest was the very dirty secret a lot of families had, and I knew why it was and I also knew that as long as nothing "bad" happened, well, okay, because it was happening anyway and not many of us were bothered by it because it was "everywhere."

I remember the one friend I had whose mom was an alcoholic. She'd get drunk and he had to fuck her and when he told me this, I didn't really believe him but I was with him one day when she got drunk and told him it was time... and that I could fuck her, too. Was I scared? You bet I was! But I did it anyway and who knew that grown-up pussy tasted and felt so damned good? Well, my friend knew it. And now I did. I... understood how booze can make someone do... some stuff and stuff that they wouldn't do if they weren't drunk. I kept his secret. I kept the secret of all the kids who were finding out that incest wasn't really as bad as everyone said it was. Sadly, one of my friends got killed because of this. I knew he was fucking his sister because we'd often get together because she loved sucking and fucking both of us. Their father found out - caught them having sex - and beat his son to death. I would later learn that he was fucking her, too, and didn't like the fact that his son was also fucking her, got jealous and in his drunken rage, killed his son.

Caused quite the buzz in the neighborhood. Another man got his daughter pregnant. I knew my father was fucking my sister because she told me that she waited until he was good and drunk before asking him to fuck her. I kept this secret, too. Indeed, because none of us were supposed to even know anything about sex, let alone being up to our eyeballs doing it, a lot of secrets were kept. The thrill of knowing that we shouldn't be doing this made doing it even more exciting... and the mere thought of getting caught, as we now say, kicked it up more notches. No one wanted to and those who did, well, it sucked to be them and their punishments were... terrible.

I got caught fucking my brother. Got a lecture about that and one I will never, ever forget. But the lecture taught me something, too. Well, a couple of things, actually. The first was that our mother knew my brother and I were having sex and decided to put a stop to it. The second was that our mother believed in some stuff that I was learning not to be the whole truth about having sex. I was sure that she knew I was having sex but she didn't know what I was really learning about it and I very much remember how... pissed off I was at my parents because they didn't tell me the truth about having sex but I would learn that... they weren't really allowed to. They feared that if they told me the truth, I'd run right out and have sex but, of course, what they probably didn't know was that this train had already left the station because I had to learn the truth on my own... and learn by doing it. All of it. Sex in the way that grown people fantasize about. If there was a way to do, I knew about it because I did it. Usually more than once in most situations.

Having sex with two girls? Just another Saturday. Two boys? Old news. A free-for-all kind of orgy? Sure. Gangbang? Yep. Two guys and a girl? Par for the course. And all before we were teenagers. Sucking dick and swallowing cum, along with eating pussy, were both very useful skills to learn and master because those who did these things got laid... and those who didn't, not so much. The senses of joy, pride, and love to hear my sister tell me that she liked having sex with me more than she did with other guys... and a few girls. Feeling some kind of way to have girls tell me that my sister was better at eating their pussies. I wasn't bad... but I could learn to be better and I had no shame or ego issues having them teach me how to eat them and make them cum over and over. Sucking a guy off was... easy, for the most part but I was learning some stuff about that, too, and some of it wasn't what I'd call good.

And understanding that when it comes to having sex, you take the good with the bad and you learn from all of it. The ongoing fact that it was easier to get a guy to agree to have sex than it was a girl. Girls... had issues. From being traumatized to believing in the fairy tale that they were told about love and sex and finding out the truth of things and usually the hard way, which made having sex with them a very difficult thing to do. But, that was okay because there was ALWAYS a guy who wanted to have sex with me. My own age and, yes, older men, too, and men who were having their own difficulties having sex with women. Knowing, realizing, and understanding that I was fair game where gay men were concerned, too, but that made sense since they liked guys way more than they did girls - and I knew why they didn't like girls, from being traumatized by girls to a parent making them be the female child they wished they'd gotten but didn't. How a guy with a lot of sisters could be made into a girl. And, yeah, how funny they could be about having sex.

I was learning that just when I thought I'd seen it all, I really didn't - there was so much to this sex thing that my bisexuality was allowing me to see and experience.

In the space of two short years, I learned some shit about sex that, well, I wasn't supposed to learn. Girls weren't all that yucky. Boys do have sex with other boys. Eating pussy is fun! Having sex with my sister and brother... just made sense even though I knew that our parents would do horrible things to me if they found out and I'd be blamed for it because I was the oldest and they wouldn't accept that my having sex with them was their idea.

I quickly learned how funny girls were about who got to do it to them. I knew why but I didn't like it but that was okay because being able to have sex with a guy was so much easier. I learned how to suck dick really good and I learned the "tricks" to be able to take dicks of all sizes in my butt and that even though it was very wrong for an adult to have sex with a kid, it didn't stop them from doing it and I loved the rush of sucking their dick and tasting their jizz and how it hurt but felt good to feel them pressing as much of their dick into my ass as they could without causing me any damage... and shooting jizz in me and, of course, a lot more than my male peers were capable of.

I learned how to have sex. In spectacular and, yes, embarrassing fashion looking back as an adult. And I was learning much more than that. Like there was a word for someone who had sex with both boys and girls: Bisexual. If learning about sex was the rush to end all rushes, learning that there was a word for what I'd been doing was an even bigger rush but one that came with even more questions than the ones I'd already been pondering and seeking the answers for and more so when it was 100% clear that the worst person in the world that you could be was... a homosexual. Learning what the word meant. Being intelligent enough to be able to put it all together. Understanding that I wasn't a homosexual but, boy, did I ever love having sex with guys! Loved it even more with girls but, yeah, they were very afraid of getting pregnant and many of them didn't want sperm in their mouth or their butt and... that sucked.

But there was always a guy who wanted to do it. Always. Learning that what we were doing wasn't the only place where boys were doing it to boys. In a time where racial tensions were very high, I learned that whites really weren't all that different from me. I learned cultural differences that shocked me because white kids behaved in ways that I wouldn't dare do, like, talking back to my parents and even cussing at them! But I learned that they, too, liked having sex and they were... less afraid of doing it and didn't much care if they got caught doing it.

Eighty percent of what I learned about sex was learned before I was 13. I knew what to do. How to do it. Learning why I shouldn't have been fucking my sister because she could get pregnant - and her telling me that as long as that didn't happen, she didn't see what the problem was... and I didn't either. Having sex with my brother was both a joy and a pain but while guys were going through that period - The Drought - I didn't have that problem because I could get laid and didn't even have to leave home to do it. This was... good and bad at the same time. I... understood it. Damned near all of it. I didn't realize it then but I would keep learning about having sex and why the world was so... funny about it. Understanding that the man who introduced me to sex with guys legally abused me and understanding that I didn't feel abused at all. I actually thank the man for bribing me so he could get off because it made me learn some very important shit that wasn't just having sex and getting filled up with cum... or being the one doing the filling.

In rapid succession, I first learned how to put my dick in a girl's pussy. I remember those first, strange, and wonderful feelings being inside of her and what I would eventually learn was those first tingles of orgasm that also felt strange, kinda scary, but felt good just the same. Then I learned about having a dick in my mouth and tasting cum and, hmm, I wasn't sure what this stuff was in my mouth but it tasted kinda sweet, kinda salty and there was a lot of it and I just... swallowed it. It was fucking amazing and so was feeling him squirting his cum between my butt cheeks and even getting some of it in me and I would later understand that it happened because he was oozing so much pre-cum and I was so relaxed that he pushed a little of the head of his dick in me when it came. Having felt it pumping in my mouth was quite the strange experience and so was feeling it between my butt cheeks.

The sex thing I was told to not even think about was da shit to end all shits. I was already hooked on being able to stick my dick inside a girl and now, this. Couldn't wait to tell my male friends about it and was kinda surprised that a couple of them already knew about this but that was fine and those who didn't know - but wanted to - found out in short order. None of us could shoot what we called the "baby making stuff" but we quickly figured out that (1) it felt wonderful to have someone sucking our dick and just as wonderful sticking it in someone's butt - and after we figured out that Vaseline, baby oil, lotion, and even the hair grease our mothers would pack onto our head did a great job of us being able to get our dicks into each other's ass holes... and quickly learning to keep it clean, too.

Cumming for the first time. Scary as fuck. Scarier than being hit by a car. Learning that I shouldn't have been able to do that when I did and just before I officially turned nine. The mad rush to tell all of my friends that I could shoot the stuff - and finding out that the girl I shot mine into had already told everyone. No matter. Boys and girls wanted me to shoot my stuff in them. Mouths. Asses. Pussies. For about six months, I was the most popular guy on the block and the one guy everyone wanted to do it with and then feeling kinda sad when the other guys finally caught up and could shoot - but that was okay, too, because I loved it when they'd shoot in my mouth and ass and more than once. Having contests to see how many times someone could shoot before not being able to. There were always winners and "no losers" all that much.

I remember the first girl who sucked me off. I remember telling her that I was gonna shoot because other girls had told me that I'd better tell them that I was going to do that - or else. I told her and... she didn't stop and I came in her mouth and immediately got "scared" because most of the girls didn't like how it felt and tasted. But she liked it. She wanted more of it in her mouth. Girls were learning, too. If they wanted to keep their cherry - and they had to - sucking me off or letting me fuck them in the ass were the things that had to be done but as we all got older, girls got... stingy. Less interested in doing the nasty and some said that it was... safer for them to do to another girl.

That's about the time, in the tenth year of my birth, I learned about eating pussy and how to do it. I remember almost throwing up on my sister's pussy because having my face down there was so damned weird. I remember that first lick and taste. How she smelled. The look on her face when I slid my tongue along her slit and came in contact with her "little man in the boat" and how she said it felt good... and I'd better do it again and keep doing it. I remember her sucking me off right after she said that she couldn't take anymore of me licking and sucking on her pussy. I remember the look she got on her face when I told her I was going to shoot and she didn't stop - and she told me later that she didn't stop because she wanted to know why some girls liked having the stuff in their mouth and why some girls hated it. I'll never forget that look of her thinking about if she liked it or not.

Then fucking her because... it just made sense to and, well, she insisted on it because she decided that she didn't like the taste of my stuff and it was better for me to shoot it in her pussy... after I licked and sucked it again, of course.

This happened many yrs ago in collage, I was 20 or so and very sexually active with both sexes. The winter of 1983 was brutal and snowy. It seemed no one wanted to travel so my buddy and room mate asked me if I wanted to attend and all male sex party, fuck yea I said. Once we arrived there were 8 guys sitting around drinking beer and smoking pot. My buddy introduced me to everyone and they seemed like cool guys. After a few beers and a few tokes we started feeling frisky, out came the cocks and I was immediately hard as a rock. One guy stood up and said well let?s see how the new guy handles a dick, he shoved it so far into my throat I gagged but like a champ I let him fuck my face. He didn?t cum yet but let others enjoy my oral skills. By now all of were naked and everybody was sucking cock, as I was on my knees I felt a dick trying to enter my ass, whoe buddy you need a condom on, not a fucking condom was there. A bigger guy took me and laid me on my belly closed my legs lubed up my crack and started pounding my ass crack as the head of his cock bounced off my balls, felt pretty erotic and he squirted a huge load of warm cum all over my balls and ass. Fuck that was awesome. By the time 4 others did the same thing I had a mouthful of warm seman and my ass and balls were covered in the creamy mess. After everyone had cummed and one of them got me off, one guy stood up and slapped my ass and said congratulations you passed our initiation. You are welcome anytime. The next morning it was still well below zero and windy as all hell, so we all decided to shower and play for the rest of the weekend. Too this day I have never had so much sexual enjoyment than I did that weekend during a blizzard. When ever I think about it I get all horned up and wish I could relive that weekend. I sucked so many dicks my throat was raw. Once my room mate / fuck buddy went back to our place we were in the shower and he wanted my ass, he was the only one in those days I would let bareback me. And yes if you are wondering he blew a nice load deep in my man pussy. That was almost 40 yrs ago, we still meet up from time to time and play.

Please share your awesome experiences.

Through all of this, the one question I've been asked has been, "What do you get out of being fucked in the ass?" and that's because it "doesn't make sense" to a lot of people and it's not easy for me to explain other than it's part of having sex with guy that I know I enjoy. I like feeling a guy on top of me and feeling him inside of me and the best part for me is... when he cums. Sure, I've had my prostate get involved and that produces some pretty incredible feelings and in this, I was totally baffled when a guy was fucking me and... I came but my dick wasn't hard. What the fuck was up with that? Well, that's when I found out about the prostate gland and the role it plays in us cumming and, well, hmm, if it gets poked the right way and enough, it's very possible to ejaculate without having an erection and even if nothing cums out, it's one hell of an orgasm.

Being fucked just... feels right. Normal. So enjoyable and more so with "the right guy" and, no, I still don't understand exactly what that means to me, and I've pretty much given up trying to figure it out. I just know it when he's the right guy and the one I want in me and busting a nut and the sooner he does it, the better it is for me. Yeah, it makes me feel... girly but I learned a long time ago to just go with the feeling and to not be disturbed by it - and like I did when that guy was trying to get me pregnant. There's an... indescribable joy in being fucked and, for me, it's not about "being girly" or submissive or "taking it like a man" but it is all about enjoying sex with a man and in a way I like enjoying it... and like I grew up learning to enjoy.

I know the answer to the question some guys tend to ask women: What does it feel like to be fucked? And I understand why a lot of women tend to say, "It feels good!" because there aren't any words that can really speak to how it really feels. I'd rather suck dick than to be fucked but when I want and need to be fucked, that's what I want and need. That and it's sex... and I sure as hell love having sex.

What I learned is really something I actually remembered: How good it felt to be fucked and having a nut busted in me. My body knew it... but my mind had rejected it but the feeling of it being... the same old shit was still in my mind and, going forward from my young lover, I realized that for me to enjoy anal sex and as I had been for the longest time, it had to be "the right guy."

And whatever the hell that really meant. He had to not be my idea of an asshole and I, again, I'd listen to my body and instincts because they would tell me what I needed and who I wanted it from and I'd meet such a guy and... he could get my ass and I wouldn't balk at taking his. I had to "relearn" that this was very much a part of really having sex with a guy and being all in the moment of things. I "got back" to changing my mind in the middle of giving head and like I used to and when doing that would surprise me as much as it did the other guy when I'd suddenly say, "Stick it in me and fuck me!"

Why? Because I really did enjoy being fucked and I'd forgotten that. Not every guy gets to get my ass but if my instincts tell me that he's "the right guy," if he wants it, he can get it because it's a safe bet that I really do need to be fucked because, well, I needed to and it was a part of my sexual life, well, until I was stupid enough to make a promise that I wound up not being able to keep.

And realizing that being fucked can be a very boring chore when you're just doing it... just because it's expected. I don't have to "be into a guy" but he just has to... feel right to me and I'm not sure if I can really put that into words. When I want and need to be fucked, it's just gotta be "the right guy" and that's just the way it is. And, yeah, I was tickled to learn that, like a lot of women, I wasn't just gonna give it up to any guy and just a reminder of learning so much about why women didn't like having sex with guys... because some guys are just assholes about having sex and they could care less if I'm enjoying what they're doing to me and that was the very thing that made me swear to never be fucked again.

I will say that you haven't lived until you have a guy with a measured 13" of dick burying it deep inside of you and busting a nut in you. One of the things that got me to break that stupid promise was reliving being with this guy and realizing that the moment I saw all of that dick, not only did I want to suck it but I wanted it in me even though I couldn't imagine him getting it in me. But he did and I also realized that he had fucked me seriously good with all that dick and it was amazing feeling him pumping cum into me but I also recognized the moment when it just stopped being fun: That was when he pulled out of me and I didn't feel that... glow I was used to feeling and, indeed, what I hadn't been feeling with other guys all that much.

That and he was being a big baby about me fucking him and it... disgusted me to see and hear him acting like I was murdering him getting myself in him and fucking him and just like some other guys did. The fun part was being able to fuck him and suck his dick at the same time, well, until I made him cum and he did it while I was taking a breath and... I had cum coming out of my nose! Yeah, that didn't feel good... but after he left, I wasn't feeling good about having been fucked.

And learned a damned important lesson: If it's not going to be fun, just don't do it. And to not ignore what my body is telling me.

One day and a few years late, a guy was fucking me and he had me moaning and groaning and egging him on to do it faster and all that; I loved feeling him on top of me and feeling his prick sliding in and out of me. I felt his dick swell up and, oh, yeah, he's gonna cream me! I felt the first blast of it and then my mind "kicked me in the balls" and I thought, "He's trying to get me pregnant and like I'm a girl!"

That really messed with my head. It wasn't like I didn't know that guys were fucking me and, yeah, like I was a girl but my mind had never made this particular connection until this moment and it was... disturbing because, of course, I'm not a girl and I didn't act like one and like some of my gay friends were doing. I... understood the "real meaning" of fucking and, again, it really bothered me and took me some time to work through this very disturbing thought and feeling. Logic told me that, nope, he couldn't get me pregnant - it's impossible - but what was possible was being fucked and getting a load of sperm in me... and very much like I was happily doing to girls.

It didn't stop me from wanting to be fucked but I knew "what the deal was" with a guy loading me up with cum... and I got over it because it wasn't fun being screwed and having this bugging me. After a while, though - and I'm talking a whole lot of years - being screwed was so... common that, sometimes, I didn't enjoy it. I would find myself under a guy and all that was on my mind was wishing he'd hurry up and cum and get out of me and it got to the point where and on the night that I had the biggest dick I've ever had in my mouth and ass made me realize that I wasn't enjoying being screwed as much as I had been...

And I swore off of being fucked. I would later realize that it wasn't this guy and his stupidly long dick that made me feel this way although I had "blamed him" for it for the longest time. No, it wasn't him - it was me. Whatever joy and pleasure I had had from beginning was... gone. I swore to never be fucked again and I sure as hell wasn't going to fuck a guy because I didn't want to do something to a guy that I didn't want done to me. It made a lot of guys I'd run into seriously mad... and I didn't care if they were mad or not.

What I also had to deal with was feeling that need to be fucked and that put me at odds with myself because I couldn't understand why I wanted to do something that I also knew wasn't any fun for me now. It wouldn't be until my girlfriend's son and I became lovers that I realized that I had sworn off of fucking/being fucked for a dumb reason and that what I needed to do was listen to what my body was telling me more than what my brain was telling me. I remember him fucking me in the shower and it was back to being fun for me. We stopped to dry off and get in bed and I rode him and it was so good and especially when he shot a huge load in me.

I realized that what made it fun for me was me really caring about him. Not being in love with him but, yeah, I cared enough about him that I wanted him in me. The bad part? That was the first and last time he fucked me. Damn it! What meant more to him was me fucking him and more so when we both found out that he just couldn't suck my dick even though he did try several times. He said that it was only fair for me to fuck him so I could get off and that first time I fucked him, I thought I was going to be all weird about it but I wasn't because I wanted to fuck him and being with him made me recant swearing off of anal sex. I really got to understand him better and why he wanted to be fucked and I was very impressed at how quickly he took to it and it made me feel good to be in him and he's telling me about how he dreamed of us doing this and that it was everything he had hoped it would be.

Our routine was for me to suck him off - he had a beautiful 7" dick and, man, could he bring a heavy load! I'd suck him dry, lube us up, and slide into him and it felt heavenly, but I still longed to feel him inside of me again and I couldn't talk him into fucking me again. He had said, "I know what I need from you and how you make me feel." And I had to accept that even if I didn't like it. But it made me realize something about myself, too.

Big dicks. Small ones. Fat ones and skinny ones. If they could get it in me, that just worked and some were very good at not making it hurt a whole lot going in and some, well, not so much but I figured that there was no sense in complaining about it and older guys were more... considerate than some of my peers were in that they knew not to make it hurt. I remember the first time I got an adult dick all the way in me. Yeah, it hurt like nothing I'd felt before but he had taken his time getting it all in and made sure that I was okay and gave me a chance to stop and I didn't want to.

Taking all of a friend's dick in me was easy; this was like... a test I knew I had to pass and I'm not gonna lie and say it was heavenly and all that rot because it really did feel like I had a telephone pole in my butt and it was everything I could do to relax and not think about how much it kinda/sorta hurt. When he buried his dick in me and came, oh, man - it made my friends doing that pale in comparison and the strength of his pulses was beyond anything I could have imagined. He stayed in me until he got soft and pulled out and... I felt so empty that it "hurt." I wanted him to put it back in and I didn't understand the empty feeling or why I even wanted him to put it back in given how arduous it was getting it in there in the first place.

My friends were poking fun at me later because when they saw me, I was really walking funny and I had a hard time sitting down comfortably for a few hours but I had passed the test I "knew" I had to pass. I was learning more about it having to feel good to me but to the other guy, too, and I really liked hearing a guy telling me how good and tight I felt to them and listening to them grunting when they creamed me. It felt good and bad all at the same time and while being screwed started to bother a lot of guys, I just took it in stride and just like I had to learn to not get totally pissed off when a guy creamed me before he got it all the way in or right after he got the head in.

That really pissed me off and I was understanding why girls would get mad about that. Keep in mind that at this point in my life, I didn't know that men have a prostate gland; I just knew that it felt good to have a dick in me and the guy creaming me. Yeah, some guys were using me as a cum dump but I guess I intuitively understood that what was more important was being able to get laid and feeling some pride in knowing that I could do something that a lot of guys were very scared to do.