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I had that near insatiable curiosity about sex and sexuality; he didn't so much. He just accepted his sexual role with males and he had admitted that while he had a lot of the same questions I did, he felt too guilty to find them. Me, on the other hand, I absorbed EVERYTHING I could learn about sex and sexuality so I wound up having a lot of book learning to go with the sexual experiences I was gleefully having.

He felt very guilty about sucking adult dicks; I didn't. I asked if he felt... molested in any way and he said that he didn't but where he lived, there were a lot of adult males who wanted young boys to blow them; I asked he felt that those men were pedophiles and he said that he hadn't thought that way but as he told me about life on his side of town, there were a lot of men who were under what we identified as social stresses - being unemployed, under employed, drank a lot, and had women who often refused to have sex with them.

When he asked me the same question about being molested and abused, I told him that I never felt that way since, sometimes, when an adult wanted sex with me, I would say no and nothing happened. It was just that I wasn't of a mind to say no a whole lot, which made him laugh and say, "You were way more into it than I was!"

Yeah, I seriously was. I liked sucking dick and swallowing cum more than I did being fucked but, sure, come on and stick it in and cream me. I realized that because I had adults "training" my ass, it made it way easier to take my friends' dicks in me. He'd said the same thing but the difference here was the adults who fucked him didn't take much care not to injure him while "my guys" took every precaution not to injure me. I learned how to deep throat on an adult with a small dick - maybe 4" when hard, which made it a piece of cake doing that to my friends.

His brothers made him take them deep and if he gagged, oh, well. I felt that his brothers were more "abusive" with him because if he said no to him, he usually got beaten up or faced the threat of it. He was surprised that me and my brother were still having sex as adults and I told him that every time we talked about stopping, it didn't "make sense" for us to stop. I did tell him about our mother catching us but I didn't get beaten and like I had expected to; he told me that he felt that his parents knew what was going on with his brothers and sisters and didn't say or do anything to stop it.

He had asked me, "What do I have to do to stop feeling guilty and ashamed?"

I told him that he had to be able to understand some stuff about sex - the real stuff and not the stuff we were told. I said that it happens and it's also pretty common, too, but I also pointed out to him that it didn't make sense to be guilty over something that happened a long time ago. I had asked him to be totally honest with me: Despite everything, did he like having sex? He had to really think about that but finally said that he did. I said, "If you keep holding onto the guilt, it's never going to leave. I know that I should feel seriously guilty... but I don't because I learned some stuff about sex that we are never taught or were told was bad, evil, and nasty. When I'd have sex with my sister, it wasn't any different from having sex with the girl next door (except my sister was way better at it); she was a girl just like my sister was... except it was my sister. I'd have sex with my brother and it was just like having sex wtih any other guy, my age or older. It wasn't always a good experience with some guys but that's just the way it is and, for me, it's not so much what I did but what I learned from what I did."

I learned that his older brothers had, upon finding out that he'd had sex with an adult, kind of "blackmailed" him into having sex with them and, I thought, what was what turned him into a bottom; he had said that he was almost always sucking them off and being fucked by them when, by comparison, my sexual relationship with my brother - and a few other male relatives - was more in the versatile way of things. He'd asked if I "made" my brother get into it and I said that I hadn't and, in fact, I didn't want to but he kept bugging me about it and I caved in; we both allowed that little brothers were a pain in the ass.

This extensive conversation with him had me really looking at how I became experienced and, importantly, great insight into my bisexuality. To me, being able to have sex with guys and gals just felt right where this guy felt all kinds of bad about having sex with guys but, at the same time, he rarely said no and admitted that he liked sucking dick and being fucked but, as I had learned, what made this bad was the guy we might be with. I would compare my feelings about being bisexual to the "main" gay dude in our group who was all about being a bottom and getting all the dick he could get but he also emotionally liked guys where, as far as I knew, I wasn't.

It would be decades later when I would realize that there were some guys I was very emotional with and before I had a real boyfriend. You live and learn and while so many of us believe that the past should stay in the past, being able to look back at my past lent itself to my being able to be totally comfortable being bisexual. While this guy got conscripted into sex with males and bisexuality because he was having sex with females (mostly his sisters), I... dove right into the deep end of the pool and with a lot of embarrassing gusto. He had to learn how to enjoy sex and I didn't so much; from that first time learning that my ding-dong could go inside of a girl, wow, man, did that ever feel weird but really good or what?

He busted his first nut being sucked by one of his brothers; I busted mine with my "girlfriend" and we both laughed over thinking that we were dying. We were so much alike but so very different in how we looked at sex and sexuality. His sisters made him eat their pussies; my sister invited me to because she wanted to know why I wasn't supposed to; one day, I asked her why she wanted me to eat her and she said that she felt that she could trust me more than other other guys trying to get into her panties. I suspected that our mother told her not to let a boy do that to her and like she'd told me to not let a girl put my penis into her mouth.

Oops. Too late, mom.

We'd had sex which, of course, what had brought us together but after we did, that's when he revealed how he became sexually experienced and I could do no less than to "come clean" as well. I found our similarities to be fascinating and since we were born a week a part - him a week after me - that we grew up in the exact same era, in the same city, but had very similar sexual beginnings told me a lot more about those early days of discovery and exploration of the sex thing I found to be terribly wonderful but adults at the time went out of our way to dissuade us from ever having sex until we were 21 - the legal age of adulthood at the time.

Because I was able to be "out and about" in the city before he was able to, I had learned that there were so many boys who wanted to have sex with boys and some of them also had similar beginnings to my own and the one "glaring" difference was those kids were... white. I had thought it was only us black kids but, duh, there was a white family with sons and a daughter who were all into the sex like we were but branching out in the city had taught me that sex was... everywhere. And there were more boys who wanted to have sex than girls.

Jesus... I got a lot of dick and gave a lot of it. If a guy - any guy - wanted to have sex with me, I never said no and even when, a few times, I realized late that I should have but as my mother taught, if you make a mistake, learn from it and I sure as hell did. The guy I ran into echoed these experiences but, again, was carrying so much guilt and shame and he wanted to know why I didn't and... I couldn't answer him except to say that I just didn't feel that way or, if I did, I "ignored" it or something.

While I grew up to be versatile, he grew up as a bottom; he wasn't gay but he felt that his role when having sex with a guy was to always be the girl and, as I would learn from what he told me, it was the role he got "conscripted" into and didn't really have a choice. When we'd had sex, we had sucked each other off and I fucked him; round two got going with more oral but this time, I wanted his dick in my ass and he said, "But I'm not supposed to do that!" Which got him telling me how the males he had sex with "made" him be the girl in everything and I would think that this was a big part of the guilt he carried. The other part was about how his sisters, who were older, used him for sex but not in a forceful way but since he knew that this wasn't supposed to happen, yeah, the guilt and shame of it laid heavily upon him.

When he asked if I'd felt the same about having sex with my sister, I told him that I didn't; the only thing I was afraid of was our mother catching us. I'd told him what my sister said one day when were fucking and over a big concern I had: As long as you don't get me pregnant, I don't see what the problem is. I told him that I realized that she was right and that the only difference between her and the other girls I was having sex with was... she was my sister. If she wasn't worried about it, then I shouldn't worry about it. I did but I felt no guilt about it.

I'd sat down one day and figured that between the ages of 8 and 18 - when I became a legal adult - I'd learned 80% of what I know about sex. Breaking it down, I learned 100% of what I know about sex with a guy. I saw that I experienced... rapid sexual growth, to coin a term. A girl taught me how to fuck her during my 8th birthday party; I sucked my first dick and "got fucked" when I was 9; I ate my first pussy - my sister's - at 10. At the time I was thinking about all of this, I could remember the exact dates of these events and did some "math" and realized that, by age number, all of this took two years to come to pass but, eh, it was more like 1.5 years and based upon when my birthday is.

But sticking with age as a "focal point," between 9 and 10... I had a lot of sex and most of it with boys and with girls a very close second and I recalled that in my neighborhood, there were more boys than girls but I felt the difference was plus or minus five given how many families either moved into the neighborhood or left it. When I saw that the day after my first dick experience had gave me a very bad case of "kid in a candy store," oh, my - I was so embarrassed! I wasn't the only one, mind you, but in today's terms I was a cock whore and a very easy slut for any guy with a dick, my age or older.

It's one thing to know what you did and another to own up to what you did. When I was "reviewing" all of this, one of the first things I noticed about how I felt about how I learned (a) about sex and (b) to be bisexual, I found that I had no shame about it. No guilt. No regrets. Even though I committed "every sin that could be committed" in those early days. I saw that I had little in the way of inhibitions or fears other than getting caught - but when I did get caught, it didn't change anything. Still, I saw that the "sex bug" had bitten me really hard and even though there was always "something in my head" telling me not to have sex with someone, it was so exciting and an early intellectual puzzle for me that "said" that to not do it, well, it didn't make sense and it was worth the risk of getting into trouble.

One of the reasons why I took such a in-depth look at my history and behaviors was running into a guy who had similar beginnings but the difference between the two of us was that he was wracked with guilt, regret, and remorse and... I wasn't. He, too, had had sex with his brothers and sisters; his first experience with dick was with an adult and while I'd gotten started at 8, his first pussy was at 9, followed by getting dick at 10 - minor differences, I'd say. Yet, we grew up in different parts of the city - me on the west side, him on the east side.

I had spent a couple of weeks talking to him and I understood how he felt and more so when I knew I should have felt the same way and it was funny because we both thought that maybe there was something wrong with us but while I had realized that there was nothing "wrong" with me in that sense, man, this guy was plagued by guilt and had mentioned that he had considered suicide for breaking all of God's rules and laws and said that he felt that this would be the only way to atone for his sins.

the next day i went to his house and he was just wearing a robe he open it up and said on your knees and suck me i got down and got him hard it was 8 inchs thick then he said get naked and lay across that padded table he tied me over the table ass up he smaked my bare ass 4 or 5 times before he started fucking my asshole he lubed my holee and started in i could feel my anus opening up it hurt a little then it got good i was working my ass and he was going balls deep after 20 minutes or so he filled my ass full and pulled out then i heard his door bell he laughed and said get ready for a nother big cock in that hot asshole of yours the guy was a big black man i knew who worked for ups he had a good 8 inchs and was thicker by the time he was done i was gaped like a whore after he left i said untie mehe said when i get done i will your ass is still mime bitch thats when he whipped my ass with a leather strap when he got done my ass was red and then he untied me and let me clean up but the i really enjoyed it but did not tell him at the time when i was leaving he said come over next week again if you want some more fun and i did go back 3 times after thatthen it was time to move on

after my wife passed away and i got fucked by a man i really liked to be fucked but i also liked to sub sometimeswe had done bdsm a lot the last 5 years she was alive and i was the sub so i did some bdsm with men and women my wifes uncle was talking to me one day at walmart and said come over to the house and lets have some fun i heard you bdsm with a man i said from who he said your cousin freddy you know i am discreet so why dont you come over tomorrow and let me have some fun with youso i said okay what time he said one okay and i said alright one and then we parted company like

He fucked me again; I couldn't compete with his stamina. And again. And again.

I was a spermy mess. My hole was sorer than it was yesterday but that was because it hadn't recovered from being fucked so much by him. Everyone called him a freak but now I knew how freaky he really was. The somewhat "sickening" feeling that I had created a monster with a monster-sized dick. Feeling some shame because I couldn't take any more of him and told him so.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault," I said. "Man, if some girl decides to give you some, she's going to be in for one hell of a surprise!"

He laughed. Then he said, "I think I like doing it like this more but I think I should find another guy who'd want to because I don't want to hurt you."

"I understand," I said. "It's okay."

It really was. I couldn't keep dealing with him like this. It wasn't that the sex, on the whole, was bad because it wasn't; but between the size of his dick and his freakish stamina, I just couldn't. Better someone else than me. I felt that we both understood this. It didn't affect our friendship but we both knew that this was going to be the last time we had sex.

"Maybe we could just blow each other?" he asked.

"That might work," I said. Yeah, I could deal with sucking his dick but not having him in my ass.

So that's how it was going to be going forward. He'd finally gotten some pussy; had the bad luck to have knocked the girl up the first time they fucked but I wasn't surprised because I knew how he could fuck, cum, and keep on fucking. We'd sucked each other off a couple of times. Then her father found out that she was pregnant, found out that Ronnie did it and... he killed Ronnie - so said the rumor. Some say he was shot, some say he got stabbed. The police had found his body down by the railroad tracks and rumor was that his dick had been cut off.

I just knew my friend was dead. Some said it was good that the freak was dead and I lost some more friends behind that one.

A damned shame...

Only time would tell. I'd given him my word that we could have sex tomorrow and I couldn't see myself not keeping my word although, being honest with myself, I was hoping that my mom would have me doing something so that I couldn't go over and have sex with him.

But I showed up "bright and early" and after his parents had gone to work. He was happy to see me.

"I didn't think you'd show up," he said.

"I told you I would," I said.

We got right to it. We sucked each other off; I needed to recharge but he didn't - he went from cumming in my mouth to sliding that big, fat, freakish dick in me. He was gentler this time. Fucked me long enough to bust two nuts in me. Incredible. Freakish.

He sucked me to get me hard and after slathering up with Vaseline this time, I eased my new erection into the tightness of his ass. I asked him if he wanted me to stop so he could adjust.

"Just do it," he said. "Put all of it in me! I can take it!"

No, he couldn't. My dick wasn't small and nowhere near his size but I took an amount of pride to hear him squealing and groaning and talking about how big my dick was. He was so tight that I was having a hard time holding my cum and told him about that.

"Go ahead and cream me," he said. I almost laughed to think that the reason why he said that was so I would get out of his ass more than him really wanted me to cum in him.

I came. When I was done, I was going to pull out but he said, "If you can stay in me, stay in me, okay?"

He was still so tight that I felt his ass pushing me out but I did my best to stay in him; it helped that he must've figured out that if he clenched his muscles, that would keep me in him. It worked and he kept doing it until I could feel myself getting hard again.

"Wow, that feels weird," he said. "Can you fuck me now?"

"I think so," I said. I started slowly because his butt was still trying to push me out but I'd gotten hard enough so it wasn't going to happen. It took me "a while" to cum in him again but I couldn't get over how... comfortable I felt fucking him. I came and pulled out and we talked for a while.