Reaching out to my first...

[TaylorMade]

I was 22 years old. He was 36. Jewish, with refined delicate features and a good mind. He lived in Phoenix, but we talked on the phone for hours on end. I loved how he made me feel, but I hated his self-pitying nature. If it hadn't been for him, I'd of been married to a kind, courtly, loving. . .and absolutely incompatible man...in a small town far from my friends and family, frequently left alone due to his military obligations. He shook up my world and challenged my experiences and conventions.

And he was . . . bisexual. Not full on. Maybe hetroflexible, but he would tell me about flirting with a group of women, but making out and later being seduced by some sophisticated bear type.

Though his sexual drive was lower than mine, he seduced me. His intellect was a powerful aphrodesiac finished off by his quasi-young-Russell Crowe good looks. Many times, I'd masturbate myself to orgasm AFTER getting off the phone from talking to him.

But we drifted apart. Obviously, his fingerprints still remained.

Today I saw an article he wrote on a blog collective site.

I joined just to write him, and this is what I said:


I'm not sure if you want to hear from me, but I figured when I saw that you were writing again, I had to reach out and say something.

You changed the way I dated. Seriously. You were the closest thing to an attractive bisexual man I'd known, and it did change me.

You made me think about who I was and what I believed. I may have the same beliefs, but now I constantly examine them; and their effect on others. I'm still stubborn, but for my own reasons, and if one gives me enough of an argument, I'll listen.

I'd like to hear from you and start talking again if possible. But if not, I thought you should know that you've left a footprint that pointed me in a path that's been nothing less than an adventure.

Thanks.

"Princess"

Princess is the nickname he'd call me. They're right, by the way. You never forget your first. The first bisexual man I ever had a crush on. . . Funny I'd find him now.

*Taylor*

[DuckiesDarling]

Cool, Taylor, thanks for sharing.

[Realist]

You're no dummy either, Taylor!

You should write that story.

And you're right, you'll never forget your first one, of almost any adventure, especially when it involves love and deep emotions.

[onewhocares]

Nicely Done Taylor.

[TaylorMade]

And he wrote me back. :) It's nice to get back in touch with someone like this. You have to understand this guy's mere existence helped me a lot. The concept of male bisexuality intrigued me and it perplexed me to hear straight and gay men push off this idea as non-existent and DIFFERENT than my own bisexuality. I kept asking and pushing WHY, and kept getting pushed back until him.

He explained and seemed to have a lot of the answers as to the how's of male bisexuality...but not the why between themselves, gay and straight men.

That's for another person to help me with, I guess. ;)


*Taylor*

[darkeyes]

Sometimes it is nice to get back in touch with old lovers, Taylor.. especially those who were our first something.. I honestly don't know if I ever had a relationship with a bi guy.. I never asked and I couldn't have cared less.. I think I was too wrapped up in myself to even think of it (I know..some things don't change:rolleyes:)... guys were certainly interested in my sexuality thats for sure.. but I suppose by the law of averages I must have done.. in so many ways our first anything does help shape who we are.. the catastrophe of my first ever heavy sexual experience did colour my view of guys and sex...he may have looked good, but hadn't a clue and he was a bit dim.. it is good that you are in contact with him again and I hope you are both able to remember your history together and be friends however that past turned out.. all too often rancour and bitterness poison what was once good...

[Realist]

My first relationship with a guy, at 14, was great. But, it's a wonder that I ever wanted to be with a woman again, after my first sexual encounter with one.

When I was 15, I had a summer affair with a 40 year old married woman. At first, she was very seductive and nice. I loved her figure and the initial sex was fantastic. I had often dreamed of being with a voluptuous lady like her.

However, her true personality came out, quickly. She had a cruel streak and became very abusive. She loved to order me to do her biding and, when I balked, she controlled me by fear of telling my parents and or her husband (He was a brute of a man, who reminded me of Earnest Borgnine!) that I had raped her. Happily, I was sent to a military school, in September, and got away from her.

I was extremely lucky, in my junior year of high school, to meet a wonderful girl, who resolved all of my issues with women.