The Man of my Dreams?

[fredtyg]

Any of you have any good stories on finding the man or woman (in a same- sex relationship) of your dreams?

I'm not saying I've found my guy, but I'm really stoked about what's happened, except now I think he may not be interested in me.

I happened to be taking a look at silverdaddies.com (http://www.silverdaddies.com) last night and found someone I hadn't seen listed before. Checking his profile he almost seemed like a perfect match for me: Same size, age range, interests and lived in the same town. I sent him a message through the site asking where in Eureka he lived and told him where I lived.

What made me curious about him at first was the username he used. It used to be the e-mail address of a gal I knew that had died some years ago. Might this be her husband?

He e-mailed me back right away saying he lived near a grocery store that was close by their house. I e-mailed back right away (again through the site) and asked him if he might be related to the late Tish ********. He e-mailed back again writing, "This town is way too small".

YES! This was the guy and though I hadn't seen him in some time and rarely spoke to him back when I knew his wife, I thought he was one of the few good looking guys in our town I wouldn't mind getting naked with. Never really thought about going after him at the time and had no clue he was bi.

So, I e-mailed him back telling him who I was and that I'd thought he was one of the few attractive guys around town. Told him a bit about my sexuality and all. Maybe coming on a bit strong but I was really excited at the find.

Now I'm just waiting for him to respond and see if he remembers who I am and if he's interested in me. I'm kinda getting nervous though since he hasn't responded yet. I have to keep reminding myself that not everybody sits at their computer all day as I do. Maybe he's one of those that just does his computer stuff at night? Or maybe he didn't think much of me or my looks back then and isn't interested?

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Still, I thought maybe some of you might have some fun successful meet- up stories where you had a pleasant surprise.

[DuckiesDarling]

Actually, Fred, I found the man of my dreams online. In the middle of a chat room on a PG13 game in came a name that intrigued me cause it was similiar to a name I was using. Just friends til I filed for divorce from my ex husband then it quickly grew into steamy chats on msn, phone calls that left me weak in the knees and finally voicing as much as possible. Realized how much we had in common but even our differences compliment each other, he's strong where I am weak, I'm strong where he is weak. I actually a year ago tomorrow boarded a plane for New Zealand to see if it was real. After three blissful months we knew it was and plans are in the works for me to move there permanently.

So don't give up, even if that isn't "your one" they are out there, sometimes just under your nose and disguised as a friend you wished you had looked closer at to begin with :)

[Canticle]

Actually, Fred, I found the man of my dreams online. In the middle of a chat room on a PG13 game in came a name that intrigued me cause it was similiar to a name I was using. Just friends til I filed for divorce from my ex husband then it quickly grew into steamy chats on msn, phone calls that left me weak in the knees and finally voicing as much as possible. Realized how much we had in common but even our differences compliment each other, he's strong where I am weak, I'm strong where he is weak. I actually a year ago tomorrow boarded a plane for New Zealand to see if it was real. After three blissful months we knew it was and plans are in the works for me to move there permanently.

So don't give up, even if that isn't "your one" they are out there, sometimes just under your nose and disguised as a friend you wished you had looked closer at to begin with :)


Gee.....DD....you were lucky....so lucky.

Maybe for good, maybe for bad, the grearest love of my life, I never got to meet, face to face....though there was talk of it.....Oh, there was talk of it and wanting me to go on a cruise and there was talk of a great love and so much more.

The greatest love, the long dreamed for love, the last love and the very much loved man, who made me laugh, more than anyone has ever made me laugh, who has the most amazing smile, who inspired me to write prose, who inspired me to reach within myself, to discover talents, I didn't know I had, who talked with me, argued with me, cried with me ....turned out to be the biggest liar I have ever met and worse. And that is what hurts most...lies and then abandonment, just so the truth does not have to be told.

When you have never lied to someone and you love that person so much, that you think that there might be a future, even though you don't have your head in the clouds and your feet are planted firmly on terra firma.......to be cast aside, just so the truth need not be told, but you're wanted...when the other person needs you, and know that you were fodder to fuel his imagination and think up more lies....then it is devastating. But you're not meant to get angry.....you're not met to lose your trmper and say bad words. You're expected to fade away, just like all the others.

And then you realise, that you were just a game and a game to be shared.

I hope he had fun, because he has broken my spirit.

[Falling Leaves]

Canticle,
You are a wise and wonderful person, I have read many posts from you on here. I hope my simple words can bring you just a bit of comfort.

Within the last 8 months we also have been "dumped" by 2 different persons in our lives. The first just up and disappeared, the emails and phone calls ceased, just nothing. The other found himself in a new relationship and all of a sudden we didn't matter. We were devastated by all the broken promises and lies, whether intentional or not, and endearments that once were supposed to mean something were all of a sudden gone from our lives.

We look back sometimes on those joyous days filled with love, tenderness and sharing that touched our hearts and souls. Then the disbelief, pain, tears and emotional separation. We have come to realize and believe that no matter how painful, we were meant to experience these relationships for a reason.

We pondered on what life is trying to teach us and where we are to be led. Why did life put these persons in our lives only to take them away. It has taken months to get over the feelings of rejection and trying to rebuild trust in becoming close to others but we are making progress. My husband and I have since individually and together met persons who we are now becomming close to and we are once again, learning to open up to others. We just have to move on in life.

Maybe those other persons were not meant for us. Our hopes that life will eventually lead to us...and we to them... those who are meant to be in our lives.

I hope this all makes sense. If you get knocked down do whatever it takes to pick yourself up and move on. You deserve to be respected, valued and loved, no one has the right to take that away from you!!! Don't let them. Don't give up hope, follow your heart, live out your desires.

And fredtyg,
Sorry I realize I got off your point completely. I am currently conversing with a man who I believe may be a significant person in our lives. I have to be patient because he is a man of few words, is not a big emailer, and contact is limited, but still there is interest from his part there and I am continuing to just let it unfold as it is supposed to.

Sometimes it is difficult to be patient. But the wait is worth it. Just let things happen naturally.

[fredtyg]

So don't give up, even if that isn't "your one" they are out there, sometimes just under your nose and disguised as a friend you wished you had looked closer at to begin with :)

Yep. That's what happened here. If I would of paid more attention to him years ago, maybe we'd of been a long term couple by now?

Update: Kind of an up and down thing but it ended up as good as I could of hoped.

Last I checked my e-mail last night there was still no word from him. I got his number out of the phone book thinking maybe I could call him in the morning, but got to thinking that may be a bit too forward, especially if he's nervous or simply not interested in me.

So, this morning I got up hoping that for sure I'd find an e-mail from him. I was totally bummed when I found nothing from him. I figured the only reason could be he's just not interested, with the longshot chance that maybe he checks his e-mail every few days like his late wife did.

Then I decided to check his profile on Silverdaddies again to see if it was still there. If he pulled it that meant he either got cold feet or didn't want to deal with me. I get to Silverdaddies and notice there's an unread e-mail in my Inbox and it's from him! For some reason it didn't get forwarded to my regular e-mail address.

He says he kind of figured it was me from my username- just as I did him- and that he'd be more than interested in talking with me. He gave me his phone number (that I already had) and said he'd be off today and tomorrow.

So, I'll call him today before I go over and give him a warm hug when I finally see him again. Believe it or not, right now I just want to mostly talk with him about bi and homo stuff, but if it comes to more than just kissing and hugging, that's fine with me.

One of the better things that's happened to me in a while.

[DuckiesDarling]

Awesome, Fred :)

[Canticle]

Canticle,
You are a wise and wonderful person, I have read many posts from you on here. I hope my simple words can bring you just a bit of comfort.

Within the last 8 months we also have been "dumped" by 2 different persons in our lives. The first just up and disappeared, the emails and phone calls ceased, just nothing. The other found himself in a new relationship and all of a sudden we didn't matter. We were devastated by all the broken promises and lies, whether intentional or not, and endearments that once were supposed to mean something were all of a sudden gone from our lives.

We look back sometimes on those joyous days filled with love, tenderness and sharing that touched our hearts and souls. Then the disbelief, pain, tears and emotional separation. We have come to realize and believe that no matter how painful, we were meant to experience these relationships for a reason.

We pondered on what life is trying to teach us and where we are to be led. Why did life put these persons in our lives only to take them away. It has taken months to get over the feelings of rejection and trying to rebuild trust in becoming close to others but we are making progress. My husband and I have since individually and together met persons who we are now becomming close to and we are once again, learning to open up to others. We just have to move on in life.

Maybe those other persons were not meant for us. Our hopes that life will eventually lead to us...and we to them... those who are meant to be in our lives.

I hope this all makes sense. If you get knocked down do whatever it takes to pick yourself up and move on. You deserve to be respected, valued and loved, no one has the right to take that away from you!!! Don't let them. Don't give up hope, follow your heart, live out your desires.

And fredtyg,
Sorry I realize I got off your point completely. I am currently conversing with a man who I believe may be a significant person in our lives. I have to be patient because he is a man of few words, is not a big emailer, and contact is limited, but still there is interest from his part there and I am continuing to just let it unfold as it is supposed to.

Sometimes it is difficult to be patient. But the wait is worth it. Just let things happen naturally.

Yes...you are right....I am a wise and wonderful person.....I'm also beautiful....within and without. But, because I am not perfect......just as none of us are perfect....I was not able to be wise enough and wonderful enough for me. Just as I can give hands on healing to others, but not to myself.

I've been wise enough to guide three children to adulthood....making mistakes along the way and learning from them, but not wise enough to guide my own life, or see where I was being used.

I have been wonderful enough to love someone with all my heart, mind and spirit, but not wise enough to see that person, for what they really were.......just as so many don't and yet....so many do.

And because I am human and not perfect and because, at some point, we all become so very fragile, I was not wise enough, or wonderful enough, to stop myself from getting angry.

I wish so many things and yet there is no joy, to be received from the wishing and there is no escape, as yet, from the heartbreak, distress and utter desolation I feel, within....only sleep and sometimes sleep does not even bring that, for that heartache will so often invade our sleeping space.

I sometimes wonder where all the tears come from and when I will have cried myself dry and emptied that salty lake.