slightly crazy. . .

[slipnslide]

I can't be alone in this. . .so, how many others find themselves going mildly insane trying to understand their sexuality? Okay, okay, insane is exaggerating, but still.

If the sexual continuum was split in two, I'm somewhere between the middle and hetero. I've told one friend, who really didn't care and didn't think anyone else in our circle of friends would either. Yet I don't feel a need to proclaim my sexuality to anyone else. However, I have no clue how to explore this safely. I'm not one for hook-ups, mostly for the reason of safety. I'm not interested in picking something nasty up while exploring my sexuality. Yet I'm not interested in a boyfriend so I don't know how to safely explore this side of me.

I find it really ebbs and flows from hetero to bi and back (and forth). However I feel trapped since it seems I just have to accept being this way but seemingly unable to explore it to understand it better. What have others done?

[NEPHX]

I can't be alone in this. . .

What have others done?

It would be helpful if you had some information in your profile for us to frame your post such as age, location, personal situation....

For some, sexuality flows and changes more rapidly than others who might find a spot on the curve so to speak ;).

I'm pretty certain that there are as many different situations as people with respect to all things but certainly sexuality. Its also a journey and you can't get to the end until you walk the path and that path is one ONLY you can walk - yours and yours alone. But, we all share the bigger picture and intersect with one another along the way and learn, hopefully, a little bit from everyone. Each of use comes from a different place and ends at a different place with unique experiences along the way. So you don't understand many things about yourself today and maybe won't until you experience all kinds of different situations on your journey.

An example (since you are in Canada) would be similar to the first time say that you put on ice skates and your ankles may have spent more time on the ice than your blades (some of us A LOT longer than others). Then after practice, experiences like public skating around people, running into them, maybe playing hockey 100000 times, skating on a pond, etc. you got better and better at each aspect.

I think its the same with how our sexuality interfaces with the real world at least it was & is for me. Some of us are quick studies at some aspects while slow at others, some are just gifted. Situations change, society ebbs and flows, our friends come and go, other things become more important to us than who we might date with such as jobs, health, friends, family, etc. As we express ourselve at different places and levels, we see how it "feels" and how it "fits" on us (such as being out a little, out a lot at different places, dating, etc.) . Some things we may like, some we might not (some like it all).

These things include "lifestyle choices" too. There are str8 guys (and women) that seem to be bar flys in the 20s maybe while others never go there... there are some that "hook up" for one nighters, while others marry their childhood sweet heart and never stray. And, of course, everything in the middle and one on each end. Some feel like dating women for 10 years and guys for 10 year; others marry a couple or two.

As far as the risk and danger, I like the saying that "Ships are safe in the harbor but that's not where ships are built to sail." We might sail our ship right down into Davy Jone's locker first time out if we are reckless or maybe scrap the bottom on a rock or something and we might need to retreat to the harbor, lick our wounds and head back out hopefully learning as we go to not repeat the things that hurt.

Sexually speaking, you can pick up "something nasty" from women or men. Remember to fish using the appropriate bait and in the appropriate location for what you want to catch.

One thing I've done over time is that when ever I try to figure out a perspective on a topic dealing with sexuality, I frame it in the main stream heterosexual society norms with a bit of slack ;-).

But, that's just me, and what do I know :rolleyes:

[RobUK]

The best way I've found to think of it, is to not. Labels like 'gay', 'straight', or 'bi', are pretty much irrelevant. Sexuality is a spectrum, with infinite types - there are as many combinations as there are people...

So, just relax and don't stress!
:cool:

[slipnslide]

I suppose that information would be helpful. I'm early 30s, in Canada, and single after spending my 20s in a relationship where I never admitted that there is this side to me.

[jamieknyc]

It is normal for people to fluctuate between feeling more hetersexual and more gay/bi. Don't worry about it if on some days you feel the desire for the same sex and on other days you don't feel it. Sexual orientation isn't written in stone and it can vary not only day to day but can also change at different points in a person's life.

[csreef]

I'd say just go after what you want & feel comfortable doing it :bigrin: