Boyfriend. wife, and baby oh my!!!!!

[Justin Chad Taylor]

My wife and I are seperated and been going to counciling and about three weeks ago after a counciling session we went to my apartment to have dinner and do some reflection. That night are talking turned into more and we made love and I did not wear a condom. My wife just found out she is pregnant and my boyfriend who is know living with me is not very happy. I don't know what I am going to do. I just felt like talking about it and if anyone has something to share I would most appreciate hearing about it. Thanks!!!!:flag4::flag4::flag4:

[TwylaTwobits]

Honestly??? Well I've went through your other posts on here and I am just shaking my head. You were at one time trying to make a baby with your wife, then both of your being bisexual caused issues and you posted that you love her but want to explore. Now you are saying that you and her seperated and are going to counseling...but you live with your boyfriend???

You are in the middle of one hell of a mess and it's time for you to make choices. You created a child with a woman you love, so now your boyfriend isn't happy. One person to blame for this and it's you. You obviously know what makes a baby since you were trying for one so why didn't you use a condom. Even worse if you don't use a condom with your wife, do you use it with your boyfriend? Or just expose him to all the other people you and your wife sleep with?

[jjinmd]

Excellent response Twyla...couldn't have said it better myself.

[FalconAngel]

Well said, Twyla.

He needs to man up and make some hard decisions, work things out between himself and both his boyfriend and wife.

[rjr1227]

Twyla, WELL SAID!!! all i can say is MAN UP!! Your now a daddy and you have to work this out. Even if you and your X dont stay together, you best not turn out like alot of other dirt-bag dads and leave her to fend for herself. My X and I are in middle of divorce, and we are still very close, and no way am i going to just leave her and OUR child.
Even if you both decide to stay apart, you BOTH know what needs to be done. Keep it right for the baby, and yourselves.

[Bryanivy1970]

Honestly??? Well I've went through your other posts on here and I am just shaking my head. You were at one time trying to make a baby with your wife, then both of your being bisexual caused issues and you posted that you love her but want to explore. Now you are saying that you and her seperated and are going to counseling...but you live with your boyfriend???

You are in the middle of one hell of a mess and it's time for you to make choices. You created a child with a woman you love, so now your boyfriend isn't happy. One person to blame for this and it's you. You obviously know what makes a baby since you were trying for one so why didn't you use a condom. Even worse if you don't use a condom with your wife, do you use it with your boyfriend? Or just expose him to all the other people you and your wife sleep with?

Yeah well he ask for ADVICE NOT critism!!! What you said maybe true BUT you are no help to him at all! Sometimes if you dont have anything nice to say its best to keep your mouth shut this way your comments dont offend other people like me!

[Bryanivy1970]

My wife and I are seperated and been going to counciling and about three weeks ago after a counciling session we went to my apartment to have dinner and do some reflection. That night are talking turned into more and we made love and I did not wear a condom. My wife just found out she is pregnant and my boyfriend who is know living with me is not very happy. I don't know what I am going to do. I just felt like talking about it and if anyone has something to share I would most appreciate hearing about it. Thanks!!!!:flag4::flag4::flag4:

If your wife and especially your boyfriend loves you then they both should or need to understand.Especially your bf as he knew you were bi when ya'll started your relationship. right?
I mean you need to ask yourself this question "If my bf really loves me and cares about me then why is he upset about the pregnancy??

[TwylaTwobits]

Yeah well he ask for ADVICE NOT critism!!! What you said maybe true BUT you are no help to him at all! Sometimes if you dont have anything nice to say its best to keep your mouth shut this way your comments dont offend other people like me!

All I can say to your post, I have a link in my sig, click it

[Hephaestion]

Find myself agreeing with Twyla and Falcon,

However as advice is what you are seeking then here it is. If it is your child and the pregnancy goes to term then that is where focus and responsibility lie. All three of you should be planning to live up to this. The child and mother should always come first in terms of finance, time, commitment. Love is sacrifice. Society should not be relied on to take up the responsibiliy for you.

If children are not on your horizon then get yourself snipped. However, currently your responsibilities would appear already mapped out.

Good luck.

[Long Duck Dong]

the difficulty of all this is what a lot of bisexuals can face.....

sex versus family life......when we are single, there is not that much of a issue..... but if you add marriage to the mix, then it gets a lil harder......

basically you have a few choices.....

1) be a family man, that requires you and your wife back on a solid footing in the marriage and working together for each other and the child.....

2) be a supportive man, have your male partner and decide that while the marriage is not workable, that you are still there for support, help and taking responsibility....

3) try for the best of both worlds, have your male partner and your wife too with ya marriage....

but the thing is its not just about you.... its about your wife, your child and your male partner and whatever partners your wife may have...... and you need to sit down and talk with your wife about what can work for both of you in regards to each other and in the best interests of the child.....

now I am gonna say something that will get me in the shit......
while you are the father to the child, that doesn't automatically put you in the situation to do the * right thing * as some people are simply not family man material.... and trying to do the * right thing * can actually be the wrong thing to do for everybody concerned....

so my advice to you is to do some soul searching and talking with your wife and your male partner and work out what type of person you are, so you can offer your wife, the best that you can within the abilities that you can.....
no promises, no offers etc, just simple and honest * I can do this, this and this *....
that will help you wife make decisions in regards to her, the child and whatever outcome may happen......

however that advice is based around the fact that you have a healthy fully formed baby with no complications or issues, and that you and your wife and male partner are able to all sit down and talk freely and openly...... somehow I get the feeling that you may have to decide between your sex life and family life.....

[tenni]

Justin
I will tell you a similar but slightly different approach. I'm sure that you are aware of your options.

The primary question for you and your wife to determine is what to do about this pregnancy. Under the circumstances, you and your wife will need to determine whether to continue the pregnancy or end it. Without knowing all of your circumstances or your wife, it is difficult for any of us to advise you. I believe that your wife will have the final decision over this pregnancy but you need to decide what you are going to do. If the pregnancy is continued to full term, then you have what others have stated the child's entire life to care for him/her. Since you and your wife were apparently planning on a pregnancy at one time, this may be a joyous time except that you seem to have yourself in a bit of a fix. The boyfriend and his view are really minor in deciding about the continuation of the pregnancy. From what I've read in your other threads, I'm not sure if you are ready to parent.....but then why should you be any different than most parents. :)

Good luck to you and focus on a decision about this pregnancy. I'm guessing that she is still in the first trimester. Maybe, your couple counselling may focus on this decision.

[mikey3000]

As usual Tenni, you are the perfect gentleman with sound, unbiased advice. When others love to judge and condemn, you keep a level head. Every day I get more disappointed with the "advice" many give. Not very helpful at all. May I suggest people read Posting Rules #2 & 3 again.

Keep up the good work Tenni. Believe me, others do appreciate it.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Way ta go to make friends and influance people, Bryan. You have exactly 2 posts and one of them was to insult a long time member that you dont even know. Good shot Buddy...:rolleyes:
Cat
Everybodys Feline

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

First of all Justin, you should be thrilled that your lady is pregnant..that's what ya'll had been hoping for for a long time anyway. Just because you're seperated at the moment doesnt mean that you cannot be a good Father to the little one if you dont decide to stay married. And of Course your Boyfriend would be jealous about this turn of events: He's afraid you'll go back to your Lady for the sake of the baby...Thats only natural that he'd feel that way, but he has to understand that you Are married to Her and that you have a bigger obligation and responsibility now.

Do as Duck said: Time to sit down with Her first and discuss what you want and need to do, then bring in the boyfriend and all three of you discuss this and decide how the future is going to be. :}

Good luck and Congratulations
Cat

[tenni]

[QUOTE=Cherokee_Mountaincat;171010]Way ta go to make friends and influance people, Bryan. You have exactly 2 posts and one of them was to insult a long time member that you dont even know. Good shot Buddy...:rolleyes:
Cat


hmm Twyla is a grown up, strong, intelligent woman who has more than once posted that she is capable of defending herself.

[mikey3000]

Way ta go to make friends and influance people, Bryan. You have exactly 2 posts and one of them was to insult a long time member that you dont even know. Good shot Buddy...:rolleyes:
Cat
Everybodys Feline

The legnth of time one is present on a message board does not give them the right to be condescending and judgemental to other members.

Is this really a place for caring advice or just simply a social networking site with cliques galore. I'm really now starting to see what others have meant all along about this place. And no, if I don't like it I won't leave. This place has to change, and it as long as there are more open minded people with young and fresh ideas, it will.

[mikey3000]

So what?

The number of posts or how long someone has been on a message board holds no merit at all.

Old members should not be complete condescending assholes to new members that give fresh ideas just because the old members do not agree with what the new members said.

If Justin Chad Taylor does care about his wife, their child and their relationship together as husband and wife, and a family as parents to that child he should put his wife and their child first, as others have been saying tactfully and not so tactfully.

I doubt that Justin's wife wants to be a single parent while her ex husband runs off to live with a male fuckbuddy because he thought this was more important than being there for his wife, caring about her and putting her and their child first before the needs of his FB.

Woo Hoo!!! ROCK ON!!!:cool:

[katz368923]

My heart goes out to you and those you care about. And I only have a couple of questions for you. Is the BF upset because you had sex with your wife, or that a baby was created? Had your wife not became pregnant would you have told your BF about having sex with your wife? I know this is going against what some have told you, but getting back together with someone for "the sake of the child" does not always work. You have to be with someone because your love them. I hope all works out for you. Oh, if you answered the questions above as "baby" and "no" then you may want to evaluate the relationship with BF.

[tenni]

Justin has not defined his relationship with this boyfriend.


He did not refer to him as a "fuck buddy". He has previously referred to a lover -boyfriend that he had a relationship with longer than his relationship with his wife...as I recall it. He was in a type of intimate friendship with a man before his wife was even his girlfriend and this may be that man. Both Justin and his wife are bisexual. I think that the boyfriend was also bisexual and at one point wanted a threesome with Justin's then girlfriend. She declined. At one point his then girlfriend agreed that the two men continue their sexual relationship but that was before their marriage. Maybe, Justin will expand upon his relationship(s).

I do agree that the question about the pregnancy (no child yet) is primarily between his wife and himself regardless if this boyfriend is the friend-lover who predated his marriage.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

PS...Sorry Sweetie, the wife and baby should come first and foremost over everything...including the boyfriend. Get your prioroties straight, Babe.
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Old members should not be complete condescending assholes to new members that give fresh ideas just because the old members do not agree with what the new members said.

And just who are you calling a condesending asshole??
Cat

[TwylaTwobits]

Amuses me....what is it you can't handle the fact I told the guy he's in one hell of a mess or that he is the one to blame for it?

Hello, go read his other threads.

I agree the length of time someone is a member makes no difference, but it does make a difference when you don't know jack about me and what I have been through in my life. Justin asked for advice he got it. Honest advice that he needs to make choices.

So really if you have a problem with my posts, click ignore or click report or just click the butthurt report form. Cause I really am beyond caring at this point.

[Justin Chad Taylor]

:bipride:I want to thank everyone for responding to my thread. I appreciate and respect eveyones views. I want to make it known that no matter if my wife and I stay together or divorse I wil make sure that the baby and her would be financially taken care of. The other thing is that My my male friend and I are both disease free and are only committed to one another. My boyfriend is not a fuckbuddy but a long time companion and true friend who I know from the 7th grade. I love my wife and friend deeply and will make eveything well between all of us. We all three will go through counciling and work things out. I will have to say that I still and always love my wife and I realize know it wasn't that I forgot to use a condom but I didn't want to for the reason I love her!!!:):)

[rutemptedalso]

My wife and I are seperated and been going to counciling and about three weeks ago after a counciling session we went to my apartment to have dinner and do some reflection. That night are talking turned into more and we made love and I did not wear a condom. My wife just found out she is pregnant and my boyfriend who is know living with me is not very happy. I don't know what I am going to do. I just felt like talking about it and if anyone has something to share I would most appreciate hearing about it. Thanks!!!!:flag4::flag4::flag4:

Do the responsible thing and take care of the kid. Give the kid a warm loving home with a mom and dad. Raising kids is very rewarding. The boyfriend will just have to face reality and be a part of it or move on. I'm sure he's no angle himself. I know I'm not but, I'm trying. I wish you all the best!

[mikey3000]

Amuses me....what is it you can't handle the fact I told the guy he's in one hell of a mess or that he is the one to blame for it?

Hello, go read his other threads.

I agree the length of time someone is a member makes no difference, but it does make a difference when you don't know jack about me and what I have been through in my life. Justin asked for advice he got it. Honest advice that he needs to make choices.

So really if you have a problem with my posts, click ignore or click report or just click the butthurt report form. Cause I really am beyond caring at this point.


Wow. Very defensive. Hit a little close did I? Sorry, but when I see people getting judged and attacked for their positions in life, I stand up. Not everyone has the perfect domestic situation, and there are all different types of families out there. YOU of all people should understand that.

Geez, it's nice to see that internet balls are not gender specific.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Yes Mikey. Some of us girls have balls and some of us have claws. Women. Not just mindless, weak, defenceless lil things anymore. Who knew. lol:bigrin:
Cat

[mikey3000]

Oh you catty Cat, you flatter me. Why are you so feisty lately? Differing opinions aren't your thing any more? Does everyone have to be on your righteousness bandwagon to suit your life style? Afraid not, darlin, so retract your claws and relax. It wasn't you who made the initial comments I responded to, so why you so uptight? You're just proving my point of the cliquiness of this board. Are you trying to turn this place into your personal litter box then the educational place it is supposed to be for everyone?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL Get your panties out of a knot, Mikey. The comment was to make you(and others) chuckle, not get you back on your high horse. Lighten up. The sun is out, the birds are singing, people are walking around half naked in skimpy outfits. Chil a bit.
Cat.

[mikey3000]

(Pht-pft!... meeeeoooooowww-pft!!!)
:eek:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LMAO. Have a good weekend Mikey.
Laughing Cat

[mikey3000]

You too Cat!!! Geez you are fun!!! And a good scrapper to boot. Bet you got huge cajones with those claws!!! :) A good friend of mine lives in Olympia. If I ever get out that way, I'll be sure to stop by and say hello.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Yes Please. Let me know so I can dull the claws a bit before you get here. I'll leave One just sharp enough to pierce the skin on that cute lil ass of yours...LOL
Grinning bad Cat
(And of course I'm a scrapper. 5 older brothers and my job assured that..lol)

[mikey3000]

oh meow.... prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
(curls up at the mistresses feet and waits for a belly rub)

[Bicuriousity]

Best wishes Justin. Please keep us informed and if you ever want to chat, drop me an I'm sometime. I know you will make this work. Im hoping you have the best of all worlds, becoming a father while remaining a husband and boyfriend.