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Bluebiyou
May 26, 2010, 9:27 PM
Although there may be negative aspects to this issue, there seems to be sociological importance to it.
We probably should have some... loose ... system of monitoring each other.
What do I mean?
The TG/TS component of us especially, it seems should have some form of network.
I'm noting the disappearance of Jeannie__TG.
Now, this may be a... normal - innocent of malevolence - vacancy.
She may be busy.
But, as a community, we are concerned with each other. How would we know if one of our community was horribly harmed or murdered?
Often, in more conservative areas, both family (hostile to the sexuality issue) and law enforcement (God! Don't let this homophobic murder become a national issue!) will certainly passively and to some extent actively suppress the incident as well as the details.
Ironically, as a large bear, I'm not worried about this; in spite of the fact there IS someone who's been trying to kill me for years (its a psycho thing with this person).
I'm someone who is somewhat physically imposing; people divide when I'm coming through... whether gay or straight. I'm more worried about smaller stature folks in our LBGT; those who are commonly vicitimized/targeted.
It's funny, because the LBGT bars I visit, I make it known to bouncers/doormen/bartenders upon entering, that if there is a problem, just call my name and I'll be there. It's rarely called upon, but ... it has (lesbian cat fights are the worst!!!!!!!!!). And it does help to prevent/end a conflict with an imposing male figure or two standing very close in an aggressive posture.
I savor the irony because all who know me, know I'm a teddy bear.
However.
However.
However.
How can we protect the most vulnerable among us? The TGs/TSs.
How would we even know, as a community, if one of us were maimed/killed... etc?
I'd suggest all TGs, TSs, and even effeminate gay men among us have some kind of network... perhaps others as well.
I'm just grasping at this point...
Maybe someone, like a community leader, like MarieDelta would have email addresses of 'friendlies'... people you know, love and trust who know about your sexuality. Someone that she could email and ask "Is... Jeannie okay?"
It's not that we could stop any violence, but that any violence done to you would help to prevent future violence to possibly yourself, but mostly other future TGs/TSs.
Marie, I know and respect your activism.
Is my thinking too out of line here?
I'm just proposing some thought, not dictating any absolutes.
What are y'all's thoughts (especially Marie's)?
Blue

Cherokee_Mountaincat
May 26, 2010, 9:49 PM
Baby, theres several of us who 'keep tabs' on one another and we as a community of friends and family, Should look after those that we like and care for. I keep in touch with those here and send them emails and Im's too.
I think its a good idea. :} I know when my internet was down I always had folks asking "OK, where's my Cat?' and it made me feel damn good. :}
Good topic, Darlin.
Cat

TaylorMade
May 26, 2010, 10:11 PM
I do worry about a T-girl drinking buddy of mine. I haven't seen her in a couple months. I think maybe she got enough money to go stealth and do some identity changes -- at least that's what I'm hoping.

I don't know if she would be down - - but I think it's obvious that your heart is in the right place. And that's always cool.

*Taylor*

MarieDelta
May 26, 2010, 11:55 PM
Yes I do try to form some sort of linkage with those I care for (not just T's, but all sorts.)

Some folks, when they disapear, do it completely. Unfortunately.

Dealing with depression and other issues, as I have. Its always a good idea to form some sort of network, its a good way to get and give support. That way when you are struggling, at least you have someone in your corner.

I try to do this here, and in my personal life. Part of being community, I suppose, at least for me.

I think its something that everyone needs to partake in. No person is an island.

You know the buddy system works well on dry land, too.

Hephaestion
May 27, 2010, 4:16 AM
Sounds like a good idea Blue.

.

MarieDelta
May 27, 2010, 12:05 PM
A couple other notes -

While I think having a network is a great idea, I think its better to mix and match instead of sticking to type. Indeed it might be good to have some local people in your network as well. You know who you get along with, those should be the ones in your network.


Also, I am not a qualified mental health provider. I can not, nor will I, take responsiblity for anyones mental health. I can tell you to seek help , but I cant force you to get help. I can be a shoulder to cry on (and I have been) I can listen and even offer (some) solutions, but I cant fix things for you , no matter how much I might want to. I can and have even been a "safe call (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=safe%20call)" if there is a need for it.

If someone chooses to leave and have no further contact, I will worry, but in the end there isnt much that can be done.

It is up to the individual to get help, to take action when there is need to take action.

Samantha Sabrina
May 27, 2010, 12:37 PM
Great Topic!

To me each one of us MUST use common sense when dealing with this issue.

When I first came out I was running my Big Rig Coast 2 Coast, and before I even thought about climbing out of the cab dressed I would call a dear friend and give her my exact location, the time I expected to leave and the time I expected to return and she had my cell phone number.

If I failed to call her by the given time she would first call me, and find out why I was late, if I answered and gave her a good answer everything was cool and we set a later time, (luckly it never came down to it but if she had not gotten me on the phone she would have called 911).

Fast forward to today...I never go out anywhere unless someone knows where I am going and when I expect to be back.

As for my cyber presence, and a number of good friends, if one of us maybe get busy, internet access goes down ect, or for some other reason one of us is absent for a day or more we will call each other and inquire what is going on.

Nothing beats social networking, (either RT and or Cyber), but we all have to be active for it to work.

BTW, I have had a few times when my head was not on straight, and it is amazing when a friend knows me well enough to pick up on it even via the net and give me a call to talk and help me thru my problems.

Cheers to everyone that takes an active role in social networking and supports their friends.

With Love

Samantha