Condoms

[Philly_PA]

Hi kids...

Met a newby top.

Wants to try anal.

I'm looking for a consensus on the strongest, safest condoms and the best lube.

Ciao,

RJ

[mikey3000]

Trojans & Astroglide. Hands down.:2cents: And have a blast!!! Report back.

[Justin Chad Taylor]

:three:Durex extra strength condoms with wet brand lubricant are a good choice. :cool::flag3:Be safe and have fun!!!!

[Philly_PA]

Thanks guys...

One more thing...

I have yet to use an anal anesthesia, but I'm told it makes the whole experience better, especially when size is involved.

What do you think?

[BiBedBud]

Anal anesthesia? You've got to be kidding!
TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

[Philly_PA]

Well...


that was mature.

I knew posting on here was a mistake.

I won't do that again

[BiBedBud]

Dear Philly PA,

Okay, I apologize if I made light of your serious query; which you made even though you “knew posting on here was a mistake”. I for one agree with you that it was your mistake, but not for the same reason you think it was a mistake. Let me explain…

Your mistake was not that this forum is a bad place to ask questions. Rather, your mistake was asking for personal advice from a small smattering of assembled bisexuals, when the internet readily offers much better advice that comprises the opinions and scientifically conducted research results gleaned from many more people, as well as rigorous testing that uses valid protocols. Never ask for opinions when you can access data. That was your mistake.

To prove my point, I went to Google and typed-in “best condoms” and 0.18 seconds later, I had over 1.2 million page hits. I then clicked on the top link to “Condom Reviews” at http://www.condomdepot.com/reviews/best-condoms.cfm and read the first paragraph, which reads, in part “For a third straight year, Trojan Condoms did not score well with our reviewers mostly complaining of lack of sensitivity and overly latex smell.” Now, this would seem to contradict what our fellow bisexual ‘mikey3000’ posted above, and that is not to knock him at all – to each his own, after all. But, it does point out the downsides of asking for personal opinions when you can more easily draw on accumulated wisdom by using Google. Try it, you’ll like it.

I just hope that’s a piece of advice you can TAKE LIKE A MAN!
Sulking is pathetic; doubly so when you’re online.

[Philly_PA]

You're right...I should have gone to google instead of going somewhere that was monitored by children.

Here's a piece of advice you can take like a man...if you can't be constructive...let it go.

I was taught a long time aga..."never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut".

I wasn't sulking...I was looking for advice.

Do me a favor...go elsewhere to be insulting...Bisexual.com is not the place.

[RobUK]

Don't know how old he is, but Drew might take offense at that...
:bipride:

[BiBedBud]

The original post by ‘Philly PA’ in this thread on May 16, 2010 , 6:54 PM; starts with the words “Hi kids…”, and goes on to ask for adult advice, initially about condoms.

The second post here by ‘Philly PA’ on May 17, 2010 , 10:14 AM, asks about “anal anesthesia” (sic). This post ends with the words “What do you think?”; to which I subsequently responded, in part; “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!” This seems to have caused him offense.

‘Philly PA’: Please forgive me if this seems to you to be impolite or disrespectful, because it was not meant to impugn your manhood. It was just the kind of straight-up, no-nonsense, direct and forward advice that I give anyone I encounter who asks for advice. Since I was short on time when I wrote that, I expressed the pithiest message I could manage, that communicated what advice I wanted to dispense, and only because you asked for it. Since you seem eager to misjudge me, please allow me to clarify; I am an adult and I spend most of my time around adults. I have both given and received that very same bit of advice before, and I never thought it was crossing a line, even when I didn’t like to hear it myself. Moreover, I have never seen a man take offense at that bit of advice (nor any woman, for that matter), and I didn’t expect that advice to roil you the way it apparently has. I had hoped to engender a bit of introspection in you, but I guess that was too high of an expectation. Had I known at the time that you had such delicate sensibilities concerning your manhood, I certainly would have handled you with the kid gloves you desperately seem to need. That was my mistake, and I take full responsibility for it. I am very sorry that I hurt your feelings. FULL STOP.

The third post here by ‘Philly PA’ on May 18, 2010 , 2:59 PM did not seek any advice, constituted pure sulking, IMHO, and ended with an apparently insincere pledge not to post here again, ostensibly because he (impolitely and disrespectfully) chose to mischaracterized my response as immature.

I will admit that my post of May 18, 2010, 7:54 PM was more barbed than my sincere admonition to “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!” (even though it started with an apology). But, that pathetic sulking of 2:59 PM brought out the worst in me, and it didn’t reflect very well on ‘Philly PA’ either, IMHO, so I once again expressed the most constructive, adult advice that I could manage, offering my view that, “Sulking is pathetic; doubly so when you’re online”. Obviously, ‘Philly PA’ disagrees, having since taken even more offense then when I advised him to “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN”. That’s regrettable, if not unpredictable, and perhaps that’s another fault of mine – or maybe there’s just no helping some people.

Despite the fact that ‘Philly PA’ seems determined to mischaracterize me as immature and unconstructive, I am going to offer him some more constructive, adult advice and I sincerely hope he ‘takes it’…

‘Philly PA’: If you are concerned about pain during your first experience with receiving anal penetration from a well-endowed man, don’t make that your first experience with receptive anal sex. I would have thought that would be obvious to a (presumably) smart adult like you, but I’ve been wrong about you before, and I don’t want to make the same mistake again – not to be impolite or disrespectful about it. So, start with your own finger – a pinky finger, if you must. Make sure it’s well-lubricated, and when that seems okay, add another finger, and then another. A rubber glove with lube will make it easier. Eventually, move-up to a small dildo, and then a larger dildo, and a larger one, working your ass over with it each time, until you’re confident that you can receive your man the way he wants you to. Always use lots of lube. (I recommend KY because it stays where you put it and it's more environmentally friendly than any lube with silicone in it, which is not water soluable and does not readily degrade, even forming a sheen on top of water, posing a risk to water foul and larvae that mature under water). You don’t have to work all the way up to a dildo the size of your man’s cock, because most cocks have more ‘give’ than most dildos, so three-quarters of the diameter is probably sufficient, assuming the dildo is more rigid than the cock you are considering, which is likely. It might take you a day or two or three to work-up to it, but it’s definitely safer and smarter than using any kind of numbing agent, which will increase your chances of getting injured for real, which will be more than just painful, it may even require medical treatment. If you follow my sincere advice, you can expect to have an entirely pleasurable ‘first time’ experience of receptive anal sex with your “newby top”.

ALSO: For the sake of curiosity, I Googled ‘anal anaesthesia’ and the first page of results was entirely without a single sexual reference, which is very odd, all things considered. This tells me that it’s not a widely practiced coping strategy for first-time bottoms. If I were you, I would be sceptical about anything told to me by anyone who counsels that anaesthesia would make “the whole experience better”. My guess is that he’s just looking out for his own interests, and doesn’t want to ‘take it easy’ your first time, like any responsible top would do for his bottom. Be careful with this guy – he could hurt you, more than necessary.

BONUS ADVICE: Pain is often an indication of something we’re doing wrong, or something that deserves caution. Numbing yourself is asking for trouble. Similarly, if you feel insulted when you receive good advice, you might want to consider if you’re being foolish yourself, and how facing that is more constructive and adult than lashing-out at the person who seemingly slighted you. That’s something I was taught a long time ago.

If you think this post is even more childish and unconstructive than my previous posts in this thread, then you are morally obligated not to follow any of my advice. If that’s the case, kindly add me to your ‘Ignore’ list – that way I won’t have to couch all of my words as carefully as you would have me do for you.

Honestly, ‘Philly PA’, I hope you are mature enough to TAKE MY ADVICE!

If you’re not, I guess it’s gonna hurt. Please believe me when I tell you that I take no satisfaction in that, even if I do think you’re a… well, I don’t want to say, in case I hurt your feelings.

I’ll just say: If the condom fits… wear it.

[Hephaestion]

From a different point of view, BiBedBUd was doing nothing more than being joccular.

The advice to not use anaesthesia is a very sensible one. If there is any tearing or splitting or faliure of any sort then your body needs to let you know. That is what pain receptors are there for.

There is an argument that says do not have sex with anyone whose health and sexual history you do not know. Condoms are not infallible. The choices are yours.

Good luck

.

[Bluebiyou]

Hey, Philly,
If you use polyurethane condoms, it opens an entire world of lubricants.

Besides that, sex is always a risk. Condoms minimalize that risk.
Good choice.

Trojan Magnum (latex) have always been a good choice for me.
I've only had one condom split open/fail and that was a free condom in a bowl from a gay bar.
But still it's better to use them (free condoms in a bowl from a gay bar) than nothing.
Good luck.

[Philly_PA]

Hi Blue...

And thanks...

I shall heed your advice!

I was asking about the anesthic because I heard it made things go more smoothly.

I had never tried it before but a good friend said it was more comfortable, especially for first timers.

As I mostly bottom...and enthusiasm on the part of the new top is uncontrollable...I was just wondering.

Thank you much.

[Bluebiyou]

...just make sure to tell him how much you want him and feel him inside you... as you're handing him the condom, or better - pulling down his pants and putting the condom on him.
The rest... is the learning curve..
Just remember to use latex friendly lubes; unless you use polyurethane condoms.
Be assertive and forceful about him making love to you AND wearing a condom. Tell him how excited you are, BUT all anal sex will be with a condom.
I strongly suggest you do the choosing, purchasing, and application of the condom and the lube.

If there is an 'accident', have an active (ready within 2 minutes) backup plan of an immediate enema in the bathroom.
If there is an 'accident', be sure to immediately question your trust in this person, regardless of your feelings.
:)

[Philly_PA]

Ok kids...

So polyurethane are "non latex"...do I have that right? Are they stronger or better than latex?

And Trojan Maxum are strong...good so far?

Now...lubed or non lubed?

My intuition tells me pre-lubed would make the chances of slipping off greater.

I know I sound stupid, but I was in a relationship where we were both tested, and it lasted for years till the job separated us.

So now...it's back to the trust thing...and quite frankly...I have none at the moment!

Thanks!

[Philly_PA]

Hi:

The "back up plan"

What do you put in the enema???

Water plus???

Thanks!

[BiBedBud]

Dear 'Philly_PA',

I've heard that "Everything goes better with a Coke", and I am also fond of Tabasco sauce -- I put it on everything.

Give that a try.
:rolleyes:


MORE SERIOUSLY: I know that the bowels absorb water, so perhaps a so-called 'emergency enema' with water might actually increase transmission rates of infectious agents through the colon walls and into your blood stream. I don't know for sure; but I do notice that the post offering advice to use enemas if a condom breaks has been removed -- probably for a good reason -- it's bad advice.

I know there is research ongoing into 'microbicides' that might one day offer a solution to this problematic scenario, but I don't think we're there yet.

IF A CONDOM BREAKS and you are unsure of your partner's HIV *AND OTHER STD* STATUS, you should GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM ASAP! They will assess you and may decide to give you 'Naviropene', which is a drug that has shown some promise in such situations. (It is also the drug they administer to pregnant women before they deliver their children, more of whom are subsequently born without HIV). This is called 'Post-Exposure Prevention' and if it is to have any chance at success, it must be started ASAP after an exposure. Even still, it is not 100%.

But, HIV is hardly your only risk when receiving anal sex. In some ways, it may not even be the worst -- many people today live for 20+ years with HIV, but something like untreated Hepatitis can put you on the liver transplant list within five years, and if you can't get a liver, that's all there is to it.

Your best option is to only have sex with people who you know are healthy, AND TO ALWAYS USE A CONDOM PROPERLY. If you don't trust your partner, and can't verify their serological status, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM!

Want more advice? Don't post in this forum looking for safe sex advice, because you never know if you can trust the person giving the advice to be expert in the advice they are giving you. Contact a 'Safer Sex' clinic. The San Francisco City Clinic has been a leader in the field www.sfcityclinic.org and their website has a lot that is worth reading on it.

[RobUK]

This is a dumb question - but I'm quite the newbie, so be patient with me, please.

Can you get condoms SPECIFICALLY for m2m sex, and doesn't that weird smelling spermicidal jelly in them? After all, with a guy, the condom's only really to protect everyone from STI transfer - spermicide isn't needed. And as it smells and tastes bad, I'd like to avoid if I didn't need it...

Rob
:tongue:

[BiBedBud]

Dear RobUK,

That awful tasting/smelling contraceptive lubricant you're talking about is called 'Nonoxynol-9'. Because it is a 'sperm-killer' meant to be a contraceptive, it is not needed for m2m sex. Moreover, it has been known to cause irritation of pussies and dicks and even more so, irritation of assholes. This means that it can actually increase the risk of transmission of STDs because it can irritate the skin, and produce a tiny opening for a virus to pass through. For this reason you should not use condoms containing Nonoxynol-9 for anal sex, whether with a man or a woman.

Quite appart from Nonoxynol-9, many condoms also come with a non-spermicidal lubricant which many (like me) find to be offensive in taste and smell. This is a large part of the reason why I always use non-lubricated condoms, to which I can add my lubricant of choice, which is KY jelly.

I find that it is much easier to put on a non-lubricated condom, which are widely available. Because I am 'anatomically correct' (commonly referred to as 'uncut' -- which is a misnomer since I never had a cut that was undone), I start by rolling back my foreskin to reveal the bulging purple head of my fantastic cock! I then slather on a drop of KY all over the head of my penis, before I apply the non-lubricated condom (making sure to pinch the air out of the tip of it). I roll the condom all the way down the shaft of my manly meat, and then apply a generous slathering of lube all over my condom-clad cock (for anal penetration), or if I'm having vaginal sex with a woman, I can skip that part because I've already gotten her dripping wet by this point, and all either of us wants is for me to enter her and power my probing manhood deep into the very bottom of her hungry pussy! (OHH! YEAH! BAAY-BEE!) But, I digress.....

To answer your question: NO, there is no condom meant specifically for m2m sex; and YES, you can get unlubricated condoms -- but also ones lubricated with flavoured lube, if that's your thing. Honestly, your best bet is to contact a specialty retailer of condoms. Most cities of any size have at least one 'Condom shop', and there are online retailers of condoms who can answer all of your questions and even ship you an order in nice discreet packaging, maybe including some samples for you to try out other kinds.

[Philly_PA]

To everyone:

Thank you and a big hug.

Man...I can't wait for the damn vaccine!

kisses