(Hetero)sexual development and bi-play

[Apleasureseeker]

I had a discussion about this a while ago with a girl I know: she was the youngest kid with 5 older brothers in a small house, and she couldn't remember a time when there wasn't at least one of the boys getting off someplace. It wasn't out in the open, of course, but the secrecy made it that much more facinating to her. She has funny stories of sneaking and spying, but she was finally able to catch some of the action discreetly.

All of the boys became quite ordinarily hetero when they were old enough to start dating girls, and lead perfectly hetero lives today. But when younger, they engaged in cock comparisons, mutual masturbation, and possibly even oral sex. Not all together, but in twos and sometimes with other boys.

She had a novel theory for all the cock-play: that it was the pressure from all the sperm that their bodies produced that made it neccessary for them to have to jerk off so much! (Not entirely wrong, actually..)

I palyed doctor with boys and girls and I remember some of the boys were much more into boy sex than seemed normal, and they tended to grow up into very typically hetero guys.

I don't know how much this holds true for girls. Anybody?

So, to me, bisexuality is likely to be a phase in everybody's development, straight, gay or inbetween. What do you guys think?

[Long Duck Dong]

lol ok, I will try to type in plain english, god knows I am not good at it

ok.... the issue with bisexuality is our understanding of it..... and the fact we draw a line in the sand while defining it and thats the issue

we are hardwired to reproduce... thats sex, pure and simple.... but how we reenact the act of reproduction is the key to sexuality... but thats when it becomes sexual expression and sexual identity....

we refer to reproducing sexual contact, and heterosexuality as the default..... that is in our genes to ensure the survival of the human race ( tho in some cases some of the human race needs to be extinct ).... but in fact its not the default.... its merely a primal instinct....

if anything outside of heterosexuality is a phase we go thru..... then what is heterosexuality to a LGB person ??? it could only be a phase too.....and if that is correct.... then all sexuality is a phase that some of us stay with and others are fuild with....

social teachings and conditioning centers around us being parents, having grandkids etc etc etc..... the accepted * norm *.... and yeah there is the desire to have kids in 99% of us..... however the *how we have them *part is different to each person.....as while the desire to be parents is in us... not all of us desire the hetero way of having kids....and indeed in some ladies, there is no interest in squeezing out a watermelon thru a place that is tight around 2 fingers.....

but thats just a way of looking at it....and there are others that may post and talk about how heterosexuality is a moral / religion enhanced concept... and that its not in our natural to be monogamous and strict heterosexual etc

the simple truth is that we are all unique and while freud was good and intelligent, its too easy to * create a template * and apply it to the world, than study the world and map out all the different variables lol

[Realist]

I think early bisexuality, homosexuality, CAN be a phase.

I was in military school, with no contact with any females for two years, between the ages of 14 and 16. Just as I was made aware of my own sexuality, I was wheeled off to an environment where I was kept in a all-male vacuum.

To say that boys, newly aware of their raging hormones, become obsessed with sex, is putting it mildly. I have remained bisexual, but I know of others who only exhibited their homosexual desires during those isolated years.

So, it appears it appears to me that for some, it was a necessity of the times, when they can have sex with only males. But, their choices may not remain the same, once other avenues are available. Some, like me, remained interested and attracted to certain other males, but others never returned to that lifestyle, after relationships with females became a possibility.

Years ago, I knew a retired nurse, who in the '20s and '30s, had attended all girl's schools and then went to college in an all girl's college. Like me, she discovered she was bisexual at a young age and remained so the rest of her life. But, she also had friends and lovers who embraced the homosexual environment, but some of them never returned to that lifestyle afterwards.

So, from this unscientific observation, I think that homosexuality and bisexuality, for SOME young people, may be a thing of necessity and availability...........certainly, a phase.

[12voltman59]

It is pretty much a given in that in human development---that children are going to have experimental sex with those of their same gender since quite often they only have ready access with those of the same gender and then at those ages----you have that thing with both boys and girls saying something like: "ohh boys/girls--they have cooties! (or whatever they may say now)" with that concept basically holding that the other gender is somehow creepy, but yet you do start to get interested in sexual things around that same time.

Does anyone really know what "cootiies" were supposed to be?? I know that for kids of a certain age, having them was like the worst thing possible!!! :bigrin::bigrin:

[darkeyes]

As a child I never played with boys very much. I preferred them to play their daft games and my friends and I would play ours.. some, not all were no doubt influenced by our gender and by the conditioning of our parents and hence ourselves by society.. yet not altogether I think.. that early play, and those early friendships were a necessary precursor to adolescence and adulthood.. can that be considered a homosexual phase? Or if we had boy friends as well.. bisexual? I am unconvinced, but do think it is probably a precursor to us learning about our ultimate sexuality.. some will begin to concentrate more and more on opposite sex relationships, some will be more even handed, and some will always be reluctant to involve themselves deeply with the opposite sex..

Freud has been mentioned and I am no Freud.. but I do think our childhood play is but a preparation for who and what we will be.. certainly it is a part of our sexual development but a very minor part.. as we move into adolescence thats when we seriously begin the business of sexual development and even then the dominating influence of heterosexuality will come to crush any bisexuality and homosexual tendencies out of most of us, at least until such time as we feel sufficiently confident and sufficiently needful as to allow that sexuality to surface.. unfortunately in many cases with neuroses and guilt feelings which many never completely lose..

[TwylaTwobits]

Well as the mother of three boys, I can say I never suspected or caught mine playing with each other, but themselves yes. Not to the point of masturbation but more a natural curiosity about their bodies.

I believe that while everyone is born with the ability to be bisexual it's as we grow that our views shift. We naturally gravitate towards what interests us and over time that sets us in our patterns. If we prefer the opposite sex we are hetero, if we prefer the same sex we are gay/lesbian, if we can just love everyone then we are bi.

There may be some influences around us just in everyday lives but nothing in this world will make someone something they aren't. So hetero might be the only way to procreate naturally but it's not the only way to reproduce out there. There are numerous sperm banks and surrogate mothers. There are numerous children for adoption. You don't have to be a child's natural parent to love and care and make them part of you.

Other than that it's apples and oranges when you want apples and apples, some things you just can't equate or measure against one another.

[Lady_Passion]

Nature provides endless gray areas regarding reproduction and sex. If sexual differences occur elsewhere in nature, why should humans be exempt? It's all good.

[Apleasureseeker]

we are hardwired to reproduce... thats sex, pure and simple.... but how we reenact the act of reproduction is the key to sexuality... but thats when it becomes sexual expression and sexual identity....


Reproduction definitely fuels the fire, but I think there's an equally strong drive to connect with other human beings on an emotional, maybe spiritual level (?). And you can see people going buggy when they don't get enough of it.

Again, speaking for myself, when I look at a woman that turns me on, I want to do sexual stuff to her sure, but I also feel an urge to "connect" with her, to know her as a person, and share emotional experiences. Even when guys look at pinup pix they often fantasize what the girl would be like in real life (except maybe the closeted ones).

If I'm looking at a man who turns me on, I want to enjoy him sexually, bush the boundaries of his orgasms and get off with him, but I don;t really want that emotional connection, except when he feels equally as uncomfortable about that as I do.

Cooties, BTW originally meant live or fleas. You'll be pleased to know that both cooties and cootie shots are in wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooties

[tina4ever]

I think early bisexuality, homosexuality, CAN be a phase.

I was in military school, with no contact with any females for two years, between the ages of 14 and 16. Just as I was made aware of my own sexuality, I was wheeled off to an environment where I was kept in a all-male vacuum.

To say that boys, newly aware of their raging hormones, become obsessed with sex, is putting it mildly. I have remained bisexual, but I know of others who only exhibited their homosexual desires during those isolated years.

So, it appears it appears to me that for some, it was a necessity of the times, when they can have sex with only males. But, their choices may not remain the same, once other avenues are available. Some, like me, remained interested and attracted to certain other males, but others never returned to that lifestyle, after relationships with females became a possibility.

Years ago, I knew a retired nurse, who in the '20s and '30s, had attended all girl's schools and then went to college in an all girl's college. Like me, she discovered she was bisexual at a young age and remained so the rest of her life. But, she also had friends and lovers who embraced the homosexual environment, but some of them never returned to that lifestyle afterwards.

So, from this unscientific observation, I think that homosexuality and bisexuality, for SOME young people, may be a thing of necessity and availability...........certainly, a phase.

I think there is no gender when it comes to sex...sex is pleasure, no discrimination at all important is you both happy sexually. I been looking at this bi-sexual couple having sex and they feels like heaven.http://viplinks.nichepass.com/gay/2/5724/0/

[Realist]

I think you're right, Tina.......after I got rid of all the stereotypes, taboos, prejudices, and moral issues, I found that I could love either, or both. I have been in love with both genders and had remarkable sexual and emotional adventures with them. In the end, the pleasure of the experiences were fairly equal.

[foreverbi]

The only reason I did not express my latent homosexuality is because in those days (late 60's) I was expected to marry a woman & not have any one think I was a "queer". It is much easier to "come out" now days, because you are labeled GAY instead of being referred to as a "queer".

I guess feeling you have to be "straight is something a person never outgrows as I have been married to a woman 3 ( different women) times. If I had it all to do over again (even though I deeply love my wife) I would have finally come to terms with my bi-sexuality & eventually my gay side.

I long to suck a dick as well as being the bottom in all of our lovemaking. It might be to late to act on my feelings, but I'll always have my fantasies:male:

[Jackal]

It is pretty much a given in that in human development---that children are going to have experimental sex with those of their same gender since quite often they only have ready access with those of the same gender and then at those ages----you have that thing with both boys and girls saying something like: "ohh boys/girls--they have cooties! (or whatever they may say now)" with that concept basically holding that the other gender is somehow creepy, but yet you do start to get interested in sexual things around that same time.

Does anyone really know what "cootiies" were supposed to be?? I know that for kids of a certain age, having them was like the worst thing possible!!! :bigrin::bigrin:

I think this is really true. I think it's caused by sexual curiosity and figuring out who you are like, and where you fit. Like you said, same-sex is much more accessible and seems safer because even kids can sense that wierdness that people project about little boys and little girls.

What's this bit about sperm pressure causing men to need to jerk-off? You realize you produce them continuously and much of them are expelled in urine and that's a junior-high myth right?

Hormone pressure maybe:bigrin:

[Jackal]

The only reason I did not express my latent homosexuality is because in those days (late 60's) I was expected to marry a woman & not have any one think I was a "queer". It is much easier to "come out" now days, because you are labeled GAY instead of being referred to as a "queer".
:

Wouldn't they have actually called you a queer? I thought that was the term at the time. Was there any safe environment for queers then?

[tenni]

"What's this bit about sperm pressure causing men to need to jerk-off? You realize you produce them continuously and much of them are expelled in urine and that's a junior-high myth right?

Hormone pressure maybe"

Nope...Its a reality. Some may be expelled in urine but there are a million of them backing up and building up the pressure:eek:
The "hismones" are there increasing the need to ...uh...purge...:)

[Apleasureseeker]

What's this bit about sperm pressure causing men to need to jerk-off? You realize you produce them continuously and much of them are expelled in urine and that's a junior-high myth right?
Hormone pressure maybe:bigrin:

Actually, I shared that cause it gave me a laugh. The girl in questions (as well as other girls I've talk to throughout the years) told me she had been able to orgasm for as long as she could remember, but it just didn't seem important till she reached her teen years. She didn't know that boys don't orgasm till puberty, or how intensely the sex-drive hits boys (for the ladies out there--if you wondered why boys were such sex maniacs, it really is hormones, but you'll be happy to know the compulsion starts to taper off after about 40 years). When she finally was able to spy on one of the boys and saw how much fluid he pumped out, she was sure that was why they were so driven to jerk-off, thinking the built up fluid was like having to go to the bathroom, and when the boys started dating girls she heard them taking aobut "blue-balls" and that was her confirmation.

And actually, the fluid pressure can be a reason, but who needs a reason?:bigrin: