This is it!

[CalanderGirl]

This is definitely the year for me as many things are changing! I'm going to be filing sometime this year - as some of you know things have gotten bad between my husband and I. I am not worth the bruises and don't need the pain! I'm going to be checking out schools at the end of the month so I can transfer and finish my BS somewhere else. :)

[chook]

But before you leave the turd make sure he is asleep one night and give him the belting of his life with a baseball bat....just to show him that you dont beat up on women........Just my :2cents:


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[CalanderGirl]

lol Chook; I'm pretty sure I won't stoop to his level though.

[Canticle]

Good luck....I say that, as someone else to wants their freedom. Some people thinks it's easy, but it's not always the case. Let us all know when you get a decree absolute!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol There's always Duct Tape and Super Glue...:bigrin:
You do what you feel is right for you Darlin, and make a good life for yourself. I took that step 8 years ago, and it was the scariest but best move that I could have ever done.
Good luck Honey.
Cat

[texasman6172003]

Hey Ney,i am very happy for you Hon. Just sorry you had too go through all of that. Now don't forget too have some fun along the way!!!

[FalconAngel]

Sometimes we must face our fears in order to grow beyond them. If you can't fight an abuser, you can always stand up and walk away from them. Not always easily, but that does not mean that you cannot do it.

Stand strong. You have a lot of folks here that are behind you and that will give you a shoulder to lean on if things get tough.

[Realist]

CG,

All too often the abused spouses relent, when their abusive significant others say they're sorry, but end up being no better off than before. No one would hit, cajole, humiliate, or otherwise abuse their mates, if they truly loved them.

I was once married to a lady I grew to dislike, but I never considered hitting her. When that feeling is there, it's time to move on. It's a sad thing when your relationship, along with your hopes and dreams fail, like that. But, it's best not to dwell on the past, but use what you've learned and move on to better things.

You are a sweet, intelligent, lady and once you're free from your present situation, I hope you find the love and future that you deserve.

Good luck, CalanderGirl!

[bicurcple]

Good for you, there are many people out there who will appreciate you. Don't know the details of your situation but we wish you the best and It looks like you have plenty of support on this site.

[TwylaTwobits]

CG, I don't know you, but I wish you the best. May your courage stand strong and help you as you deal with this time of changes in your life.

[kegspoon]

Bullies only respond to strength. You have made yourself strong, you are ready to deal, do not hesitate! Head up, shoulders back,,walk out of his darkness and into your light.

Anybody wanna cam2cam?

[dickhand]

Good for you . No one deserves to live like that . Best of luck !

[CalanderGirl]

Thank you all for the warm well wishes! I'm currently packing while he's gone at work. I'll be out a month from now - I'm leaving things on as good of terms as possible. He doesn't know I'm leaving so I'm still keeping it as quiet as possible hoping to not raise an issue. Thanks :D

[darkeyes]

Thank you all for the warm well wishes! I'm currently packing while he's gone at work. I'll be out a month from now - I'm leaving things on as good of terms as possible. He doesn't know I'm leaving so I'm still keeping it as quiet as possible hoping to not raise an issue. Thanks :D

CG Sweetheart..I'm sorry things are so bad... but if I was u I wouldn't wait the month.. if it was me I would have been out long ago.. a lot can happen in a month... I am a very forgiving soul but am not sure in the circumstances I would be leaving on good terms.. I just hope he doesn't find out what you are planning in that month.. luff n best wishes me darlin'.:)

[Realist]

I agree with Fran.

I don't usually give personal advice, but in this case, you should beware. I spent 10 years as a counselor on a military post and these things can escalate drastically, in seconds. No horrifying details, but you really should get out before there's a confrontation.

The best way to go, is to leave when he's not home. Call him from a distance and a location unknown to him. He broke your trust and heart, you owe him nothing! That way he can never hurt you again.

I'd tell him, "Hey, I'm not leaving........I'm already GONE!"

[CalanderGirl]

The only reason why I'm waiting to leave is because the local shelter doesn't have room for a single - they are trying to keep room open for families. Also the person I'm moving in with has kids e/o weekend and his off weekend is Easter. I don't want to move that weekend only because my family is coming in from Michigan. I do have an "emergency" bag at a friends house so I can just go if I need to!

Once again, thank you all for your concern and support!

[Donkey_burger]

I hope with all my best that you will be well.

DB :bipride:

[rissababynta]

If you need any help, plane tickets to get your somewhere, anything like that, let me know. Hope all works out well for you.

[onewhocares]

The only reason why I'm waiting to leave is because the local shelter doesn't have room for a single - they are trying to keep room open for families. Also the person I'm moving in with has kids e/o weekend and his off weekend is Easter. I don't want to move that weekend only because my family is coming in from Michigan. I do have an "emergency" bag at a friends house so I can just go if I need to!

Once again, thank you all for your concern and support!

If you have to leave before, GO. Your family will understand you left for your own safety. Think of YOU first.

Belle

[csrakate]

For goodness sakes, CG...You wouldn't continue to live under the same roof with a ticking time bomb would you? Please go ahead and get out now...before anything might possibly tip him off. Believe me, your family will understand! And if you have to leave anything behind....those things are replaceable...your life and well being aren't!

[swimmergirl]

I so agree wiht kate i dont want anything bad to happen to you. Please stay safe

[Bluebiyou]

Calendar Girl,
Please do not falter. As I write this it is Easter morning, in Christian reckoning this is the celebration of resurrection.
I hope this Easter is a resurrection from death to life for you. Be free.
Please do not falter in walking away.
The abuse cycle never ends; it is not the way "it's supposed to be"; there is so-much-better out here for you.

Best Easter wishes for your resurrection,
Blue

[dawgtown88]

Remember it always takes a coward to abuse someone physically. As I see it it is a little boy in a mans body and they cant interact with mature adults!

Good Luck!

[12voltman59]

You cannot believe some of the attitudes that guys who abuse their wives hold regarding women, sex and just about every bit of interaction between men and women.

Of course----many of them seem to really believe that any physical, mental or verbal attacks they make on women is because "the bitch deserved it."

They apparently believe things they say such as: "real men don't use condoms----besides, I am not a goddamed faggot so I don't need to use one!"

"If that bitch gets her ass knocked up----its not my damn fault---its because she is a cunt/slut/etc.!!"

Many of those guys don't like to have to step and and pay for the kids they sire----often many kids by a string of ladies----and man---do they get pissed when a family court judge orders 'em to pay child support!!!!!! Whoooa nelllie!! Their anger was the reason that at the courthouse I worked at here in Ohio---the family court rooms were the first to get all kinds of security---fully armed Sheriff's Deputies, weapons screening stations at the entrance to that part of the courthouse and such---they had that stuff a few good years before they finally put in the same security for the criminal courts sections and our offices.

These are the kind of things they would say when at my one department I worked for when I was a probation officer---we had a program for men who abused their spouses and part of that program would require them to take part in an "encounter group" sorta thing------you really got to wonder how people get such fucked up ideas on things like this!!!

It's guys from various backgrounds who feel this way--white, black, hispanic---you name it--but they do tend to be less well educated however and come from the "lower" socio-economic groups though. But--wife abusers can come from any economic or social group!!! No one has a lock on that crap!


I do wish ya luck dear---it might be tough for a time---but you need to get away from this guy!!!!! It just might save your life!!!

[JP1986UM]

CG I hope you are well and far from the house you once called home.

Please let everyone know how you are.

[Missybeth]

I realize we don't know each other but, I say good for you and truly from the bottom of my heart,
I wish you the best of luck!

[CalanderGirl]

Thanks everyone - things are going pretty well :) Just waiting to hear on a couple apartments!

[OmegaGray]

My very best wishes to you, hon! Please stay safe, be well, and take care of yourself. I don't really pray, but I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts. :)

[gfofbiguy]

I know we don't know each other, but I had to do the same thing and leave my (now ex-) husband. I had nowhere to go (so I thought at the time), didn't even know where the shelter was. I called an acquaintance of mine, who is now one of my best friends, because I knew I could trust her and I also knew her mom actually worked for one of the shelters here in Las Vegas. I left with nothing but my purse that night - and it was pouring rain. He took my car keys, but I had a set for our "clunker" hidden away because in my heart of hearts I knew I was going to leave. I also had socked away about $300. But all I had was the clothes on my back when I walked out of our apartment. I actually called his mother, because I knew he would never call her and wouldn't find me there that night and I was able to stay with her for a week before she needed me to leave. I was afraid he would kill my cat, which was the only thing that I cared about in the world by that point. He hadn't, but during that last day before I left and when he beat me up, he had kicked her and tried to hurt her even more. This was a 6'4" tall, 270-pound former Marine. BUT, with the help of my friend, her mom at the shelter getting me counseling, another friend and her husband letting me live with them until the restraining order came through and kicked him out of the apartment complex (because I was going to rent a one-bedroom there and he couldn't live there anymore), I was able to get away, survive and now thrive. I own my own business now, have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love very much, still have my cat and now have a dog as well........PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave as soon as you can, even if you need to stay with your friends. Also take advantage of whatever the shelter is able to give you in terms of counseling, etc. My counseling was free, and I had that counseling for 2 years. I still suffer from PTSD and anxiety as well as panic attacks, but they are much less than they were. I also was on anti-depressants for about 18 months through my physician, who watched closely over that as well as my counselor did too and they helped me wean off them as well (didn't have to take them for the rest of my life). If you ever need to chat, PM me - I have been there and I got through to the other side and am doing very well :-) {{{HUGSZ}}} Let us know how you are doing please!!

[12voltman59]

Wow--glad you got away---your kitty too--guys like that when they are pissed off don't have any problem killing an anmial--espeically a cat since he probably thinks cats are a worthless animal and only women, old people and queers have them.

I know that in the case of those women I dealt with--they felt it was going to be so hard to leave and it is at first--but like you---they find that after some period of time--it turns out to be the best thing they have ever done.

Many communities do have places for abused women to go---or you can find networks of people online who help women leave such situations---I am assuming since Calendar Girl has not been on since last week--she did leave--let us hope so and she is safe and sound---away from this guy's reach.