Question to bi-men

[bi-vasco]

I just started accepting myself as bisexual man.

I met with a man and while doing a 69 I finished first.

The problem is that before cuming, I was excited and wanted to take his cum, but after I finished first I lost interest in continuing sucking his cock.

I tried sucking on a different day and the same thing happened. I lost interest after cuming first.

Is this because I am new? I really would like to suck the next guy and I want to stay until he cums.

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

[rissababynta]

Hun, I don't think this is a question just for bi men. I myself have had things like this happen to me. My husband and I will be completely into our 69 session and I'll be crazy over the thought of swallowing him, and then I cum, and then I sit there and I have no interest in wanting to go on. I mean, I do anyway just because I don't want to be mean lol. But it still does happen to me all of the time. When your hormones are going nuts and your horny and excited, things sometimes seem to appeal to you more intensely than normal. Happens to a lot of people.

[fredtyg]

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

Yes, I do. Many guys lose libido after ejaculating/ orgasm. I was surprised to read it can happen to women, too.

I know a full blown homo guy I fool around with on occasion. He doesn't seem to lose much libido. He's usually ready to go again after about a 15 minute break. It probably depends a lot on the individual.

[bi-vasco]

Hun, I don't think this is a question just for bi men. I myself have had things like this happen to me. My husband and I will be completely into our 69 session and I'll be crazy over the thought of swallowing him, and then I cum, and then I sit there and I have no interest in wanting to go on. I mean, I do anyway just because I don't want to be mean lol. But it still does happen to me all of the time. When your hormones are going nuts and your horny and excited, things sometimes seem to appeal to you more intensely than normal. Happens to a lot of people.

Thanks for your input. Sorry I addressed my question only to men but you just described what happens to me.

I thought it was because I have done it only 2 times. I thought it was a matter of doing it more times.

The reason for my question is because I do not want to give the sex partner the wrong impression that I was only using him.

Before cumming, I really want to swallow his cum. But I go completely cold after I cum first. This might really piss off a guy.

But thank you again. This info from a woman makes me feel great!

[bi-vasco]

Yes, I do. Many guys lose libido after ejaculating/ orgasm. I was surprised to read it can happen to women, too.

I know a full blown homo guy I fool around with on occasion. He doesn't seem to lose much libido. He's usually ready to go again after about a 15 minute break. It probably depends a lot on the individual.

Thank you for your info.

It makes me feel much better because I do not want my next partner to get pissed at me for leaving him with blue...

[fredtyg]

It makes me feel much better because I do not want my next partner to get pissed at me for leaving him with blue...

Just a couple suggestions as I've had the same problem of nearly always cumming too fast most of my life:

I generally avoid condoms, but I've been known to cut the reservoir tip off of the end and wear one while having sex to de-sensitive my weenie. That might help slow you down. Might not go over well with oral sex, though.

Also, try switching roles. Try to avoid things like 69 where you'll always shoot your load before the partner. Start out as a bottom. Suck him off so he comes first. Hopefully, he'll have some libido left after he cums to still suck on, or have intercourse, with you.

The high libido boyfriend I referred to earlier, I usually just bottom for him. I'll usually suck him off first, snuggle for 15 or 20 minutes until he's ready to go again, then have intercourse. We both end up happy that way.

It's especially good with him because he's such a horny guy he'd still have enough libido left- even after cumming twice- to suck on me (and he's almost 5 years older than me).

[Giggles100]

I think this happens to both men and women.... gay and bi....

At the end of the day sex is mostly about three things. I know there is alot more but i'm thinking of the absolute basics:

- Foreplay and feeling desirable/sexy/loved.
- Cuddling/Kissing and sweaty body on body contact. Being horny!
- Orgasm.
- Afterglow and feeling good.

Once you have cum you have fulfilled the sex side of things and mostly you want to cuddle enjoy that afterglow :bigrin:. I often get a bit bored after cuming giving oral to either a man or woman. You gotta finish the job though
otherwise your just a big meanie :).

[pbvasc]

Just a couple suggestions as I've had the same problem of nearly always cumming too fast most of my life:

I generally avoid condoms, but I've been known to cut the reservoir tip off of the end and wear one while having sex to de-sensitive my weenie. That might help slow you down. Might not go over well with oral sex, though.

Also, try switching roles. Try to avoid things like 69 where you'll always shoot your load before the partner. Start out as a bottom. Suck him off so he comes first. Hopefully, he'll have some libido left after he cums to still suck on, or have intercourse, with you.

The high libido boyfriend I referred to earlier, I usually just bottom for him. I'll usually suck him off first, snuggle for 15 or 20 minutes until he's ready to go again, then have intercourse. We both end up happy that way.

It's especially good with him because he's such a horny guy he'd still have enough libido left- even after cumming twice- to suck on me (and he's almost 5 years older than me).

Thanks again for the tip.

I will try to suck him up first until he cums.

I really would not mind if he wants to stop after he cums. My pleasure and excitement is to swallow. In the future I will try getting penetrated but it is too early now. As I said before, I have only done it 2 times and still have not tasted what I wanted the most.

But as you said, I will pospone 69 for later. That way I can get what I really want.

[sixthickcut]

never had that problem if i respect a man enough to suck his cock then if he sucks me off first then I always make sure that he cums thru my oral and finger tip talents...anything else is selfish and disrespectful of your partner be they man or woman or couple...luv cock and pussy...yes indeed!!!:three:

[bi-vasco]

never had that problem if i respect a man enough to suck his cock then if he sucks me off first then I always make sure that he cums thru my oral and finger tip talents...anything else is selfish and disrespectful of your partner be they man or woman or couple...luv cock and pussy...yes indeed!!!:three:

You are confusing respect and lack of drive!

After you cum, you are not horny for a while. If you live with your sex partner it might work out the way say.

But this is harder with a first time partner because nothing personal has arised. If you keep the same partner it would be easier to please him too.

Don't forget, some cum first, others last longer.

It is not lack of respect!!! It is lack of drive!!

[wildwestgoob]

This sounds like more of a situation of learning to pace yourself.
It took me years to figure that out.
I was in my early 20's when a nice older-than-me lesbian took me under her wing (so to speak) and taught me the things most men wish they knew.
:cool:
Made me a better lover, for all who followed, and she made me an "Honorary Lesbian" ... lol

(I'll let your imagination figure that one out)

Think of it as a marathon rather than a sprint.
It's a meal rather than a snack.

Quickies have their time and place, but your gonna have to learn to pace yourself if you want to get past the 15 minute mark, otherwise 8 seconds is only a good ride if your in a rodeo.

:tong:

[elian]

If you think it's unfair that you are satisfied and he is not, then don't do the 69 - give him a nice time *first* and then you will be extra horny later eh?

..if you look through page after page of these threads there is one that deals with people really wanting to taste their own semen when they are very excited - and then after orgasm losing all interest in the stuff - pretty sure there might be a correlation.

[fredtyg]

give him a nice time *first* and then you will be extra horny later eh?


And there's other ways you can still get off if the other guy isn't too horny anymore. Maybe he wouldn't mind anal sex and he'll let you bang him? I know I lose most of my libido after orgasm but I still wouldn't mind letting someone fuck me.

Maybe ask him if you could just insert the tip of your penis in his ass and jack off into him? Who knows? He might go for that.

There's more than one way for two men to enjoy sex.

[matterinhand]

I was like that for a long time, if I came first all I wanted to do was get away.
It improved with both practice and experience.

[chub-bi]

I think you will find that if you enjoy what you're doing (sucking cock). And continue at it after you've come, your libido will return in a short period as you feel your partner enjoying himself.
Next time you are 69ing and feel yourself getting ready to squirt, rub your partners' taint with your thumb while you are sucking him. I've found that this trick excites my partner more often then not. Then apply more pressure as you feel his cock grow and throb. I think you will find you have a mouthful
of delicious cum pretty quickly using this technique.

[valkerie]

as a bi male who is commited to my gf , she knows and accepts .. getting back to the question , I was dating a lady after my divorce and tried to 69 with her .. her responce was a BIG no .. she liker oral but she always wanted to concentrate on either giving or receiving .. she said as good as oral was , she wanted to do one at a time .. I can live with that ..

[thatcher29]

I think the lack of desire after an orgasm is a physiological thing. Orgasms tend to be pretty big deals in the body with a lot of muscle contractions and hormonal surges. And it's a double problem for some bisexual men because that's when the guilt can pop up. I can't speak for others, but for me the refractory period (that's the scientific name for it) only lasts a few minutes. I've found that if I relax for a short while, cuddle, and enjoy the warm feeling then I'm usually in a better mood to please my partner. I haven't had gadzillions of male partners but I've found that the vast majority of them would consider it a crime to leave me hanging. Maybe as the OP gets more experience he'll not be as worried about who cums first.

[magari]

I totally agree with thatcher29. It's a physiological thing for me. I know from experience that if I don't get my wife off before I orgasm, I will not have the desire to. I also have experience with men that in my enthusiasm to please them, they have no further desire to recipricate. ZZZZZZZ!!

Suggestion: Acknowledge that it is stronger in some than others. Accept that either one of you may not care to continue. Be patient and use all of your seductive powers to rekindle a spark of heat...it could grow again into a roaring fire!

[kawboy1370]

Next time just suck him off first.
I just started accepting myself as bisexual man.

I met with a man and while doing a 69 I finished first.

The problem is that before cuming, I was excited and wanted to take his cum, but after I finished first I lost interest in continuing sucking his cock.

I tried sucking on a different day and the same thing happened. I lost interest after cuming first.

Is this because I am new? I really would like to suck the next guy and I want to stay until he cums.

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Fits my own experience perfectly! I'm sure one can "learn" to do all sorts of things, but if it doesn't interest you, you can't force yourself! When I have sex with Dianna I often talk of wanting to eat her out afterward ... but as soon as I'm done, I'm done. The interest is gone.

We found an interesting way to get around it, but it's not for everyone. I occasionally cum in a cup and freeze it for later. Eating it out of her the next time we're playing can be fun!

[bisexualman]

Just a thought . . . you might talk to your partner and let them know in advance that if you cum first it is harder to stay in the mood. I have been with many men and found they don't often know to talk in bed. It is amazing the fears and anxieties men have but are afraid to mention it before the moment arrives.

[dickhand]

I am a pretty fast cummer myself . When the wife was alive , I always got her off first (usually orally) before cumming myself . I don't care for 69 . I like to consintrate on either giving or receiving pleasure . I have been with men who lose all interest after orgasm . Most that I have been with do not . For those that do , I will let them do me first and then I take care of them . I always get hard again while doing oral on both male and female . It just makes me horny to give pleasure . On those occasions , if I am allowed a second cumming , I always take a lot longer .

[ironresolve]

I have had that happen . I find that if i switch roles when I am really close, i am good to go. The longer I am aroused the longer it takes me to release.(i do not know if it is normal or just me) I do know it was not the case until i was in my 40's
so it is better if i concentrate on my partner initally man or woman. Giving oral male or female or french kissing for that matter really turns me on. so the longer the foreplay the better.I also find if i am comortable with and really into my partner it does not matter that much.

[biguylbc]

Have the same problem myself. I've tried everything to change it, but still lose the passion after I cum. So my fix is to be honest with myself and my partners about it. This way we can choose who recieves first and both enjoy the outcum. Have a little rest, play a little more, and in no time you're ready to go again. Just something that works for me.

[daewoo69]

Hi all,
I would have to agree, Thats why i love but hate 69's.

If im down on a bloke or a lady a not a prob, but with 69 position, as soon as im gone, its game over from me.

But with group sex, i find it different, I find that i dont lose the urge. Which is quite funny. I dont know why, but it might just be my mind set.

But a few friends that we play with are the oppisite, the more they cum the more aroused they get. go figure????????????:bibounce::bibounce:

[Samantha Sabrina]

Perhaps it is my need, desire, or nature to be submissive, but I always make it clear to any guy I get intimate with that his desires and satisfaction MUST come first, and that after and ONLY after he is taken care of completely and fully will I be concerned with my orgasm.

Actually I have found that by doing it this way I get sooooooooooo excited and worked up spending time making him happy, be it 10 mins or 3 hours, whatever it takes, that by the time I do have my orgasm it is just totally AWESOME and leaves me completely and totally drained of energy.

I have had 2 encounters where it took the guy over several hours before he was ready to allow me to have my orgasm, (it was not non stop sex, he fondled and groped my body, I sucked him off, he took a break then fucked me, then after a rest period he started all over again, and so on), in both cases by the time they allowed me to get off it was totally mind blowing and I litterally passed out after, I simply could not move, just had to lay there and rest for a good half hour or more before I could even get up and clean myself.

To me there is simply nothing that compares to waiting until I have drained a guy of everything he has to offer before I worry about my orgasm.

Oh and just so you know, yes once I get off, mind blowing or not then I do loose interest for at least and hour or more.

I am not sure how the guys I have been with normally handle this but I make damn sure I keep him excited and worked up, giggles, I don't give him the chance to loose interest until he is totally drained and just can't go for more.

God having great legs and being really fem is such a Good thing, giggles.

Huggggggggggs
Samantha

[69luvr]

I just started accepting myself as bisexual man.

I met with a man and while doing a 69 I finished first.

The problem is that before cuming, I was excited and wanted to take his cum, but after I finished first I lost interest in continuing sucking his cock.

I tried sucking on a different day and the same thing happened. I lost interest after cuming first.

Is this because I am new? I really would like to suck the next guy and I want to stay until he cums.

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

I have always experienced exactly what you have experienced. I also feel guilty at times. I do not know how to solve this problem and am open to suggestions.

[ohbimale]

I have had this happen. I kept going with giving head to my man, and was rewarded with his cum. I really did not have the desire to continue, but did not feel right in stopping. I was glad in the end because I felt better, plus his tender kisses and cum assured me that I am a desireable man. You are not alone and the problem you describe is more common than you know. My solution has been to suck him off first and then have him suck me off.

[Lonewolf76]

Hi Dear,

It's not at all because you are "new" It's part of a natural process called the "Refractory Period" Your hormones are raging when you are sexually excited and nature has built in all of that for the ultimate finish - your climax and ejactulation. You are driven by sexual lust to accomplish that goal. Once that goal is reached -all bets are off - your hormone levels drop exceptionally fast and you lose the drive - hence you lose interest. That's why (as most women will readily tell you) - most guys drop off to sleep after sex. There are ways around it... Rest for awhile - recover - and then start foreplay again - this time letting your lover achieve climax first. Or next time stop when you are feeling close and concentrate on your lover. Whatever works for the two of you. But rest assurred - it's perfectly normal. Hugs Wolfie

[MrDeville]

Count me in too. As soon as I cum, I lose interest. Sorry.

[ready5858]

I just started accepting myself as bisexual man.

I met with a man and while doing a 69 I finished first.

The problem is that before cuming, I was excited and wanted to take his cum, but after I finished first I lost interest in continuing sucking his cock.

I tried sucking on a different day and the same thing happened. I lost interest after cuming first.

Is this because I am new? I really would like to suck the next guy and I want to stay until he cums.

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

Yes I have the same problem most of the time. After cumming I usually need a short break like 20-30 minutes time for a drink or smoke. The way I get around it is take care of the partner first whatever he or she wants to do. I have also found as age is taking its toll a drink or 2 numbs the feeling letting me last longer. Have you tried just stop what you are doing at the time when that feeling starts, take a break or change position.

You might be labeled a great lover if you make sure your partner is taken care of first and wait till the end of the evening to get your reward. Find out what you like to do and just limit the activities to make it last.

I was once with a another man doing a nose to toes effect and I could not stop him fast enough and I shot off all over, but not wanting to be an jerk and walk away with him still not done, I continue to suck and lick him until he came in my mouth, surprisingly I started to get horny again feeling that hot reward in my mouth and was able to continue.

[ErosUrge]

I just started accepting myself as bisexual man.

I met with a man and while doing a 69 I finished first.

The problem is that before cuming, I was excited and wanted to take his cum, but after I finished first I lost interest in continuing sucking his cock.

I tried sucking on a different day and the same thing happened. I lost interest after cuming first.

Is this because I am new? I really would like to suck the next guy and I want to stay until he cums.

Has anybody experienced similar loss of interest?

The answer is yes; it's always been that way for me. And most guys I've talked with about it have expressed the same. Some of us are able to continue after we cum and some of us aren't. Those who do usually do it out of consideration though there are the few who enjoy it even after orgasm. But most are like you and myself, the energy and the intensity of it all is gone after orgasm....at least for a while anyway. Nothing to worry about in my opinion.