femmeonly
Jan 1, 2010, 9:58 PM
I came out at 25 as a bisexual woman. For the next 10 years, I predominantly dated women.......I was definitely more sexually attracted to women with the very odd guy catching my attention ie. he would tick all the boxes I would look for in a person romantically and the sex therefore seemed to fall in to place. I seem to 'bond' emotionally better with men but am definitely more turned on by women from a very primaeval sexual point of view but I realise there is more to making a relationship work than just sexual attraction. In my experience, I also find (lesbian) women to be very emotional creatures who always seem to want too much from me too soon.....which is a big turn off for me. Does anyone else out there have this dilemma? Very stressed over this at the moment as it feels like I'm once again questioning my sexual orientation ie. can I make it work long term with a woman? would I tire sexually with a man long term?
Hope that all makes sense :)
Apleasureseeker
Jan 2, 2010, 4:44 AM
Really interesting stuff. Lesbians, emotional? you know the old joke: What does a man bring to a third date? A condom. What does a lesbian bring to a third date? A moving van.
I understand what you mean, though. I tend to beleive that a person's sexuality has to do with who they bond with emotionally. Anyone can have great sex, with anyone else if they're comfortable, regardless of preference, and may do. In fact, one of the few htings I agree with freud aobut was a beleif that as people develop sexually from childhood, they go through a homo/bisexual phase.
I know women, and I'm sure there are men like this too, who have chosen homo or bisexuality for all kinds of reasons. Some were homosexually raped but believe that it happened because they were responsible in some way, and so must be gay, others were hurt by someone of the opposite sex and retreated to the familiarity of their own gender. Others just never quite clicked.
I also thnk everybody has a degree of bisexuality. i think I did as a kid, became incredibly heterosexual at puberty, and am still highly sexual enough to be open to exploring it. I don;t know that's bisexual or just horney.:bigrin:
A freind even hypnotzed me to be able to find sexually attractive traits in men and fantasize more about homo-escapades. it worked really well--I now have twice as vivid fantasies and porn is twice as hot becuase I get as turned on by a body and muscles flexing as I do watching a woman bounce adn groan, and in fact, fantasy-wise am much more homosexual. In actual practice, though, I'm as hetero as I ever was. I just can't connect with a man on an emotional level.
Someone once said thsat there were advantages to the old days, when a guy like Rock Hudson or Freddie Mercury could parade around and no one would discuss their sexualitt in public. The pressure on people to define themselves also costs them freedom.