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bislander
Aug 2, 2009, 7:51 PM
So I'm new here, and didn't want to drop my story in poserpro's thread. This site is really great, and reading about others experiences has been great as well. I told some of this in another thread, but I want to just open up fully for once. This might even be somewhat helpful. Who knows? It's not too long of a story, I promise.

My very first sexual experience was very young. It started like most people's experiences I would imagine, straight or otherwise. My friend Robbie and I played doctor with our other neighbor Paige on several occasions. We had fun, and we got caught, and Paige was no longer allowed to hang out with us boys. So of course, we carried on without her. Looking turned to touching, touching turned to sucking, sucking grew to kissing, and so on. We never had anal sex though (still not something that really appeals to me, straight or otherwise). Where my story diverges from other straight guys that maybe did similar was that we did it a lot. And we continued to do it until we got old enough that someone first told us what gay meant. Now, we weren't gay, we were men. Gays were sissies, and couldn't throw a baseball. So that was that. We liked chicks. We grew apart because of what we had done, and the fear that someone would label us gay. We chocked it up to youthful experimenting. I didn't spend those other early years looking at Pam Anderson in Playboy wishing she was a dude. I just drooled over her.

For a long time I was a very happy, horny hetero male. Then I found the internet, and porn. I found that over time my tastes were more and more cock centric, until one day I found myself watching gay porn. And , ah, enjoying it. ;) Now confusion has set in, cause I know I'm not gay, but damn, are some guys good looking. I didn't know what to call myself, because bisexual was the first stop on the gay train, and I really did like women. I knew it wasn't some sort of denial, or that I was hiding my true self. I've been in a few long term relationships, and while finding most women insane, I find almost all of them irresistible. So I just carried on being what I was, a straight guy that from time to time watched gay porn and got off on it. I was just really horny, I told myself. I thought that maybe one day I might act on my fantasies, but that they would probably stay fantasies.

Then I met Stephanie. She was a friend of my friend Mary, and had just moved to town. I helped her find an apartment as a favor to Mary, and well, one thing led to another. We started hooking up. It was great sex, really fun girl. Well one night while we're laying in bed, she confessed that her and Mary had been a bit more than curious in college, and had had a sexual relationship for almost year, until Mary moved to Atlanta. Stephanie was still attracted to her, but Mary was engaged to a guy now, and wanted to be monogamous. She seemed a little embarrassed about admitting it, since nobody knew about them, and she didn't want people to think she was a lesbian. She mentioned that she wished she could find another girl to join us. I was moved that she had told me this, and had a little liquid courage leftover, so I began to open up to her. You know, to show her just how ok I was with bisexuals. Oh, what a bad idea that was. As I mentioned in another thread, telling her that not only did I find some guys cute, but that I had actually put a dick in my mouth ended us. I was so scared, and scarred, that I never opened up to anyone about it again. Back to just straight guy with kinky fantasies.

Well, jump forward to today. I'm a little sexually frustrated with having moved to a tiny hick town after growing up in the big city. I'm not used to people knowing my business, and it makes straight dating difficult to me. So naturally, I look at porn. And naturally, it's been featuring more and more guys. And I'm fantasizing about it more and more. I just snapped one day and said that I'm not going to keep my desires out of the real world any longer. I am keeping my desires need to know, but I'm looking forward to moving at the end of the year. I'm moving to a bigger city to find a better job, and I'm hoping that I'll meet fun people there. And I'm no longer going to say I can't have fun with someone because somebody might call me gay. Now I don't know if all this makes me bi, straight or whatever. My point is, I guess, that I no longer care what label is stuck on me.

So that's who I am. Go ahead and label away. :bigrin:

Realist
Aug 2, 2009, 7:59 PM
OK, here it is..............you're a nice guy, who has discovered that you like both sexes...whoa, what a concept! Welcome aboard, and thanks for sharing with us!

just4mefc
Aug 2, 2009, 8:11 PM
Dude you are so Gay... LOL just joking. No one here will care what label you belong too so nothing to worry about there. I agree with you that labels are really useless. You are a sexual being and I hope you find the kind of relationships that make you happy. If time goes bi and you find you are more into men then women then great enjoy there is no right or wrong IMHO. I only call myself bi because it is the term that most people are used to hearing. I am more "trisexual" as in try anything then I am any thing else. It is sad to me that the label Bi is still considered "denial" in both str8 and gay circles. What I love about this site is that most people here are either bi or bi friendly and are not worried about "denial" people here seem to understand desire is in constant flux and over time you will find your balance point. Good luck

onewhocares
Aug 2, 2009, 8:25 PM
You wanted a LABEL....ok, are you sure you want to hear what people are saying about You..................Wow...here is a really nice guy! How is THAT for a label?

Welcome to the site!


Susan

dodartist
Aug 2, 2009, 8:38 PM
I don't know how old you are, but, as you live your life you will encounter good, nice people who can dislike you or be turned off by a number of things other than your sexual "label". Race, religion, music, appearance, and politics are just a few.
I discovered early in life that I enjoyed both sexes and have quietly explored since I can remember. My first experience was also same sex, masturbation and oral with a friend. I grew up in the sixties and seventies when these labels were being re-defined; and you are right, there still doesn't seem to be much acceptance (or understanding of, maybe) of bi-sexuality in either the straight or gay communities. I am not gay and I do not believe that term fits me. I am very comfortable with myself, and my desires. I have learned that sex with strangers (male or female) can be and (fifty-fifty shot) often is hurtful. I only have sexual relationships with people I know and would otherwise care for and want in my life. That's outside of the fun with cyber chat every once in a while.
I don't know if this helps, but if you ever want to talk, the chat room here is full of good folks who will understand your feelings and be friendly. I like the fact that the chats are not always sexually motivated, but good fun and stimulating conversation. bye for now and good luck in discovering your inner self. I have a feeling you are going to like what you find.

littlerayofsunshine
Aug 2, 2009, 8:38 PM
Honey Kudos to you! I wish you luck in your future endeavors with the relocating and you sound like a great guy. Sorry you had a rough patch, but now you are wiser and more aware and free to be whatever you want. (((hugs)))

bislander
Aug 2, 2009, 9:54 PM
It's really nice to hear positive responses to my tale. I had a feeling that this was a supportive place. Not that I should be surprised to find tolerant people at a site called bisexual.com;) I'm sure everyone here understands how nice it is to be able to open up without fear of everyone running away or making fun of you.


Dude you are so Gay...

Thanks for making me laugh.... smartass comments make the world go round :bigrin:

Oh, and just to put it out there, I'm 33. I thought the Pam Anderson comment dated me. At least I thought she was hot in '89, not so much these days. This is my much condensed story.

12voltman59
Aug 2, 2009, 11:20 PM
Welcome to the site--and don't worry about labels like "gay" "bi" or whatever---I do say to ya--ditch forever the notion that just because you might like to watch "gay" porn or even do something sexually with another guy---it is my take on "gayness" that the sexual part of being "gay" is really only a very minimial part of being "gay"--I say that about 89.7 percent of being "gay" has nothing at all to do with sex--but has lots to do with many other things---in spite of what "society" defines as "gayness!"--I say--screw the dicates of society on that score.

Hope ya enjoy the site---

Beefeater
Aug 3, 2009, 1:58 AM
I think I'm pretty safe in saying that a lot of us have walked a mile in your shoes bislander. I made peace with myself as a bisexual once I looked up and didn't find a big neon sign over my head pointing down at me that said, "Bisexual!" Then I looked down and discovered that I hadn't turned into a can of soup with a label that said the same thing. It was at that instant that I "gave myself permission" to be OK with being bi. I've been a happy and well adjusted member of society ever since. 'Nuff said.

hudson9
Aug 5, 2009, 5:57 PM
You're not even a homosexual man at all, so how would you know what it's like?

...and just ignore the Trolls...

hudson9
Aug 5, 2009, 9:59 PM
I was not saying that to you, so why are you attacking me?

What I wrote is true though.

He's not gay or homosexual so he's not going to know what it's like at all to be a homosexual man.

Because what you said amounted to a gratuitous, ad hominem attack. It demonstrated a clear lack of understanding of the ongoing conversation, which expressed a general consensus that one shouldn't worry about labels. Yet, you labeled Volty ("he's not gay or homosexual") and decided that therefore his opinion was less than valuable.

If you are going to make posts like that, you will need to develop a thicker skin of your own.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Aug 6, 2009, 12:31 AM
lol Tell some wise-ass that asks "Hey, I'm not gay, just festive" and dont forget the wrist flap and the liusp..lol It usually takes people back and they'll leave ya alone...lol
Welcome to the site Sweetie.
Hugzz
Silly Cat

still_shy
Aug 6, 2009, 12:47 AM
I know I'm not the first and I hope I'm not the last when I say Welcome to the neighborhood :) It's such a wonderful place, filled with the best people. I hope you enjoy it as much as we have !

NEPHX
Aug 6, 2009, 7:36 AM
Welcome... to the real world! (maybe you should have taken the blue pill?)

Great story, thanks for sharing. 33... perfect age!

I had similar ideas growing through my youth/teens/20s and just kind of accepted it as I didn't know what I was but I knew I loved women. I also had these odd friendships with certain kinds of guys and found them intriguing and then cute and then well.... I didn't know what it was all about. I didn't know what being gay was, didn't know anyone gay and certainly never considered how men have sex nor was it penis-centric....) I did find out I really liked kissing guys though :-). I never played doctor (note to self).

I also used the same rationalizations you mention for not exploring more but then when older, I was in a monogamous relationship (with a women) from 18, so it didn't matter until later...then I was able to revisit it all again).

Welcome to the dark side (we have cookies)....

12voltman59
Aug 6, 2009, 7:48 AM
BideBi definitely sounds like our long time troll----to me the tells are some of the same issues he brings up--his pattern of "drive by" scattershot postings in a short period of time-the times they are posted---the similiarlity of the sort of names he selects---he has used in the range of at least a hundred names on here over the time he has been here----

This is for the troll:

"Global warming is REAL and environmentalism is NOT a religion!!!" :bigrin::bigrin::bigrin: