Dude, I was a total bitch this morning...

[rissababynta]

Long one here, don't read unless you've got a few minutes haha.

Ok, last month on the 18th, my husband and I had to go and apply for food stamps because his NCO's have messed us up with money recently, on top of him not getting paid all that well anyway. We were approved, but told that we had to wait for everything to be processed and they had 30 days to do it. She said "Now, if you don't get a letter of approval by the 18th of July, call us and find out what is going on." I called on the 17th after getting nothing, left a voicemail, and never had my call returned. By this point, I'm already kind of frustrated because the first time we went to apply they told us that walk ins stopped after 4 oclock (we got there at 3:30 and didn't have our number called til 4:15 when they decided to tell us this...) when they had specifically told me on the phone that anytime before 5:00 was ok. The next day I even called and double checked and they said that we could show up anytime before 5:00! Then when we finally got in the woman kept putting my maiden name in the computer so now my maiden name is just floating around in the paperwork all over the place which is...uh...kinda important...

SOOOOooooo anyway, I called the other day on the 20th (after fighting with the woman over which person I was supposed to talk to because my last name does indeed start with "T" not with a "K" which they would know if they got the name thing right!) and the person working my case told me that they had until the 20th to process it and it was actually being processed as we spoke. I questioned her about why we were told the 18th, and she not only avoided my question but very rudely kept telling me "No, it's the 20th." She said that we would get the approval letter in the next day, 2 days tops. Ok, fine, whatever. THEN she calls me back a half an hour later to tell me that the person who was doing the application a month ago forgot to scan our proof of residency so I have to get the housing office to fax something to her within the next hour or we will be denied. Thanks a lot assholes...

So, it's "2 days tops" and I have no letter. I call this morning and ask what's going on. She tells me that everything has gone through and she doesn't know what to tell me, I'm going to just have to wait. I politely ask "Why is everyone being so unhelpful about getting me the assistance that my family needs and deserves?" Ok, deserves was probably the wrong choice of words here but then I hear her scoff over the phone and say "Ma'am everyonethinks that they deserve these benefits."

I said "First of all, I thinkg that everyone deserves to be able to feed themselves and their families." At this point she starts to talk over me and I said "Bitch, don't interrupt me" and would you believe that she didn't hang up on me? After realizing that she was not hanging up I continued by saying "My husband is already starting his day before the sun comes up and not coming home til dinner time, usually after that. He is pretty much on call 24/7 to have to get up and go do his job, no matter what we're in the middle of. He has a signed contract saying that if he needs to, he will die for this country and everyone in it. Let me remind you that the military does not draft people, so he is putting his life on the line for you out of his own generosity. And after all of this, he still does not get paid well enough to be able to pay all of his bills and comfortably feed his children. Now...explain to me why you think that he is not deserving of a little assistance when he needs it, because I would really like to hear this one."

She was silent for a minute, then she quietly told me that she would find out what the hold up was and personally make sure that our letter got to us as soon as possible. At first I felt kinda proud of myself but now I just feel like a total bitch :rolleyes:

[grneyedbeauty]

I say...You Go Girl!

I am glad that someone is there to fight for our freedom and let us sleep at night. Sometimes the people that make the decisions get blinded by those who use the system. They are faced everyday with those who sit back and let the government take care of them. She needed to be reminded that there are good, decent people who fall down and need a lift back up. Everyone deserves food and shelter but not everyone is willing to do something for it. Cudos to you for having the courage to stand up for yourself.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Welcome to the wonderful world of DSHS, Babe. I'm saying this sarcasrtically of course. If you had applied for emergency benefits, you Should have gotten your card that day and the food amount should have been on there 24 hours later. Now with him being military thiscould be what the hold up is. I'm not sure about your state for benifits like that. I understand your viewpoint, but I unfortuantely understand her's too. She hears that same line/statement a hundred times a day and probably from those who Dont deserve it.

Be patiant and cool and if you dont hear anything in a couple of days go in calmly and collectedly, and ask to speak to a head supervisor and if He/She isnt available as to speak to another higher up and keep climbing that ladder until you can either be given a name, or can see a real person. But above all, keep your calm, keep your composure, and your temper. Always fight with your head Sweet Baby, not your heart. Fight with your heart, you'll lose everytime-fight with your head, you'll prevail. ;)
Good Luck and you'll be fine, Sweetie.
Been there done that, Cat

[rissababynta]

Also, I'd like to add that I know the woman was just doing her job, but it was the constant rudeness and problems that I had gotten from everyone throughout this whole process, including her, that had really gotten to me. Whether you think that I am just some other low life trying to mooch or not, you still don't have to contantly bombard me with your attitude when you know nothing of my life. I kind of took out my frustration from everyone in that office on her, but I wouldn't have even considered being rude and mean if she hadn't had treated me rudely, the same way that everyone else in that office has so far. She unfortunately was the unlucky one who happened to hit the right buttons at the wrong time. It could have been anyone in that office.

Ya know, I wish that I could say that I'm ashamed of my behavior, but I'm really not. I guess I'm becoming cold and unfeeling the older I get.

[codybear3]

Good for you... They are not "just doing thier job", they are also burnt out on listening to the bullshit excuses that people say just to "squeeze" the system of benefits... Your problem, Rissa, is that you are probably an American citizen with an income and what you are missing is a green card... I live on a border town and when I have had to go in for assistance, I have had to stand in line with people that are wearing their "bling-bling" and luxury cars with third-world license plates and being deliberate on their cell phones about going to get the "gringos" money because , well they can... I also see the people that really need the money and following the rules but still can't seem to get all the help that these other people are getting away with... You have no reason to feel like a bitch or anything... You needed assistance and demanded it... These others that we support with our taxes don't deserve it but can get it with little or no problems...:2cents::paw::paw:

[rissababynta]

LMFAO someone left a letter of approval on my door at some point today. How fucked up and creepy is that! Oh well, at least I'll be able to get some food in a few days...

[onewhocares]

I am proud of you Rissa....you, nor I nor anyone else could be considered a bitch or bastard if they are fighting for the services, benefits, or renumeration that they are entitled too. I would not have been as polite as you my dear.

Belle

[AdamKadmon43]

I am not exactly certain that I understand what you are talking about, but if you are hungry... I can send you a few cans of beans and some instant rice or something.

[rissababynta]

I am not exactly certain that I understand what you are talking about, but if you are hungry... I can send you a few cans of beans and some instant rice or something.

Lol thanks but I think we're ok.

Although that would work out great considering that my husband is mexican and likes to keep the house stockd with beans and rice:tong:

[Doggiestyle]

Awwwwww Rissa you weren't bein a bitch. This happens to just about all when they try to navagate the gov't programs. And with you being as close to the military as you are, you would have realized this by now. It seems to me that when youre dealing with the gov't bureaucracies that nothing seems to be their job, dept or problem and they don't know who to see to fix it. When dealing with them it seems like 95% of them don't care what is happening to you, and the other 5% are glad that it's not happening to them!!!

Just think now how it will be when the gov't takes over the health-care system. Frightening huh? :yikes2: Getting mad when dealing with the gov't? Naw thats just natural. :banghead: Seems like that's the way they want it! I think that it's so that you will just give up.

Your friend, :doggie:......:flag4:

[AdamKadmon43]

Lol thanks but I think we're ok.

Although that would work out great considering that my husband is mexican and likes to keep the house stockd with beans and rice:tong:

Red beans and rice make ever thing nice...

but oyster gumbo make ever thing Jumbo.:)

[mistymockingbird]

Good for you Rissa. I'm a former military wife and I always thought it was fucked up that enlisted folks even qualified for things like food stamps. You'd think that a person could be compensated properly for putting their life on the line in defense of our country.

[thumpercat]

Just wait until we have universal health care.

[rissababynta]

Seems like that's the way they want it! I think that it's so that you will just give up.

Your friend, :doggie:......:flag4:


My one friend said the same exact thing. She swears that they make it more difficult than it has to be so people who don't really need it say "screw this" and the people that are desperate enough will keep pushing...weedle out the bad ones haha. Then, if even the desperate people say "scre this" then, oh well, one less case to have to file lol.

[rissababynta]

Good for you Rissa. I'm a former military wife and I always thought it was fucked up that enlisted folks even qualified for things like food stamps. You'd think that a person could be compensated properly for putting their life on the line in defense of our country.

I wondered that myself before haha. Ryan Seacrest makes 15 million a year from american idol, and my husband makes enouh to hopefully have enough gas til payday...go figure haha.

[niftyshellshock]

From my experience, people won't get shit done until you show that you are not to be trifled with.

A year or so ago, a few friends were having trouble registering for classes at my university, citing issues with the highly unhelpful secretaries working the registrar.
I simply told them: "Be an asshole, just don't get rude."
"But.."
"Just do it."

And lo and behold, a few days later, they're all registered. And it's the same anywhere, once you call people out on their bullshit and refuse to take things with an "oh, okay." things start working out much much better.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Rissa I totally know how you feel. Gov agencies are given "guidelines" on which they can expedite peoples files. It is mostly based on those that are minorities and undocumented. I know this cause I had a friend that worked in a govt aid facility. Plus I have had my own personal experiences. When I was a single mom, fresh out of the homeless shelter (Which I couldn't even get afdc or anything other than FS and Wic) I applied for child care assistance. There was a 6 month waiting list and I went right back to work 6 weeks after giving birth to my 9lb little girl (my second child). I couldn't apply till I was working.. Which I did and I was told to call back ever so often. So I started pay for care out of my own pocket and that ain't easy on min. wage. on top of rent and utilities and the 30 dollars a month FS didn't help at all. I basically had to use it towards formula cause I couldn't pump my milk at work ( I worked at a govt agency at the time JTPA) Once I was working I no longer qualified for wic. Anywho.. I called once a month... and once a month they told me I was slowly but surely heading closer to the top and then finally I was like number 8 and they said call in six weeks and it should be no problem........ well..... six weeks called back and they go... "M'am your name is not on this list and there is no record of you having ever applied for services." I got so pissed and I started going off on them, which almost got me fired cause I was doing on the phone from my office and my boss heard me and he didn't care what the problem was, just that I shouldn't have the problem there, even though there were no clients.

After that, I didn't want to reapply cause I surely had no faith in them assisting me. So I lived off Ramen soup and a few cold cuts and a loaf a bread and water for a really long time, just to afford child care.. I could have chose not to work and live off the system, but I didn't want to be locked in that lifestyle..

Now on to another issue.. I have had custody of my oldest for 8 years and his father had never been current on his child support.. Thousands of dollars behind all these years. My case involves two states and I have to pay another state for their services (not the non-custodian with no children living in his care) and now there is a federal fee I have to pay yearly too. I was calling every couple months trying to get them, any of them, to enforce my case and prosecute or whatever cause it is a federal felony for failure to pay if the custodian and child live in another state and the non-custodian refuses to pay and the arrears are over 5000 dollars. NY is set up where you can't even talk to your own case worker, you speak to customer service in Albany or wherever and they enter it in the puter and something pops over to the caseworker, but you are not allowed to request a call from your case worker in my county. I was being my own private eye and tracking down his jobs and residences and supplying it to the Child support and calling and getting told that they must have messed up and forgot and what have you.. So I got fed up of 8 years ofthat crap.. I was arguing with CS I was arguing with my son's father both were refusing to handle their responsibilities and so I did something I never done before ( I know its going to sound douche) but I wrote to President Obama. I gave all the information and my experiences and told him about the arrears and how my ex makes upwards of 25 dollars an hour and the 78 dollars a week is less than 4 hours of work for him and he works 12 hour shifts.. How I have to pay for services and aren't even getting services.... Well Lo and behold... within 3 weeks.. Paid in full almost... couple hundred dollars that he still owes. but that's piss compared to what he originally owed.


I don't know why I wrote all that.. Just wanted to share my experiences and headaches and announce I may potentially be a douch... Least it's fresh scent.

[rissababynta]

Littleray, I can't say that I know you you feel with the child support because I've never had to be in a situation like that, but the daycare assistance...yeah...I know that...

When my husband and I moved back to PA from TX after having our first child, I decided I wanted to go back to work (partially because the only job my husband could find at the time was a job at a deli paying a little over 6 dollars an hour and we were staying with my parents til we could afford out own place, so that wasn't going to cut it). Both of my parents work and except for my mom, had a pretty hectic schedule and I didn't trust any of my friends to babysit for any length of time. I tried getting assistance, and when I heard the 6 month waiting list AFTER you have proof of a job, I was sooo lost. How was I supposed to get a job if I did not have anyone to watch my kid, and the reason why I couldn't afford a regular daycare to watch him was because I had no job and whatever I could get still wouldn't be enough to pay that! Doy! Well, I lucked out and got a job as a pharmacy tech from 5 oclock until 9, sometimes 10, and all day long on the weekends. My mom got off at 5 oclock and had off weekends. My husband and I had only one car, but we figured out a situation where on days that I could bring him to work and use the car I would, then I'd pick him up depending on his schedule or one of my parents would. Any other time, if it was possible I'd use one of my parents cars. Somtimes we had a teenage girl from the neighborhood (who I had known since she was probably 5 or so) come and watch my son for a half an hour or so if my mom couldn't get home right away. It was my responsibility to keep track of everyone's schedules in the house and everynight we would all sit down and discuss how the next day would go, then I'd call the babysitter and let her know everynight when and if I needed her the next day. I was 19 years old, and very VERY stressed all day, everyday, but it was so worth it for all of us to figure it out amongst ourselves then try to go through that application for assistance then wait for the AT LEAST 6 month waiting period.

Now, I say all that to say this...look at how extremely LUCKY I was! Not only to have a caring, supportive and helpful family, but to be able to find a somewhat decent job for those hours since they were the only hours I could work! Look at the situation like you had littleray...look at all of the people that are in the situation that you were in and don't have what I had at all. I don't know how you did it, but it has got to be hard as hell. It aggrevates me when so many people have bad things to say about single mothers mooching off of the government, but the government can make it so hard sometimes to be able to pick yourself back up.

I have a feeling that the reason why that is is because of all of the people that take advantage ruining the system...such a shame...

[bimwmdecatur]

I was arguing with CS I was arguing with my son's father both were refusing to handle their responsibilities and so I did something I never done before ( I know its going to sound douche) but I wrote to President Obama. I gave all the information and my experiences and told him about the arrears and how my ex makes upwards of 25 dollars an hour and the 78 dollars a week is less than 4 hours of work for him and he works 12 hour shifts.. How I have to pay for services and aren't even getting services.... Well Lo and behold... within 3 weeks.. Paid in full almost... couple hundred dollars that he still owes. but that's piss compared to what he originally owed.


I don't know why I wrote all that.. Just wanted to share my experiences and headaches and announce I may potentially be a douch... Least it's fresh scent.

What we all have to remember when dealing with any Government agency is that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. After that much of a run around you were correct in writing whomever you could to get assistance. You can also try your Senators if that happens again, they can apply pressure as well.

As far as military pay being messed up, please do not put up with that long term. A call to the military members unit Commander might get the situation straightened out fast. If not write or call your Senators in Washington, they will be glad to apply pressure to get the pay resolved. And believe me the military will jump through hoops to satisfy members of Congress. They hate having to deal with all the paperwork that a Congressional inquiry brings.

Old retired military person here. Been there done that.