Help Me. I Have Writer's Block

[evilpanda]

Hey, it's 4:03 in the morning, and, after all this weed, booze and cigarettes, I'm still bereft of ideas. I want to write a bisexual-themed short script, but I have zippo interesting experiences in the realm of the rainbow.

Surely, someone out there has an interesting story that might make a funny "Arrested Development"-meets-Kevin Smith-style low-budget short. Since we're all anonymous here, you can blab away.

Anyone want to share? Gimme something humorous or something that could be made funny. I'm sure bisexuality yields comedy gold somehow.

Help me. I need to come up with a script to shoot because I'm almost 30 and film school was almost 7 years ago. Between now and then, I worked my arse off on my Hollywood career, but never had time to make anything of my own.

All I need is a muse.

[Realist]

This may, or may not lead to an inspiration, but: Back when I was in college, in the late '60s, early'70s, I had a mildly interesting incident.

On registration day, I had signed up for the classes I wanted and, since the building was very convoluted, I wanted to see if I could locate each of the class rooms.

While walking down one long hallway, I saw a jeans-clad figure, with very long blond hair, walking ahead. With a very nice derriere and a swing that would hypnotize anyone, I was compelled to learn more! I rushed ahead to see what this obviously delectable creature looked like, from the front. As you may have already surmised, "She" was a bearded, pimple-faced guy, of about 19, with none of the attributes you'd find the least bit attractive in either sex.

As it happened, he was in my Business Law class. The blond hippy-type was a rabid stoner, as we called them in those days, and his attention span was about 6 seconds. Usually, when I saw him out of class, he was sitting in his VW van drawing deeply on a tube filled with the best Columbian. Smoke was often so thick it was difficult to see inside!

One time, the professor was discussing an odd court proceedng, relating to a tort we were supposed to study the night before. When the prof wanted "Blondie" to express his theory about the particulars of a case, the guy sat there with a blank look on his face for some time, before he resoponded.

Then, it dawned on him that he'd been asked something, he got an amazing startled look on his face!

He looked shocked and, in response to being questioned, he pointed to himself and asked, "ME!!"

The professor realized his efforts were totally wasted, then commented, "Oh, sorry, I should have known better than to expect you to have an answer!"

Hey, that's the best I could do on such a short notice...but I enjoyed the memory, anyway!

[onewhocares]

I wish I could say that I could give you some inspiration for a bisexual drama, but alas all I could offer would be fodder for a comedy about the blonde naive wife of a bi man from Boston.....Could be called Boston Belle. I seem to find myself in the most amusing situations. People have often said that I should write a book but no one would believe the stories I think.


Or wait....what about this...the first time hubby was with a wonderful man we met on this site I thought it was important that it be a special time just between them. Being the event planner...I made sure the hotel was set with the perfect mood...wine and cheese and lots of votive candles for mood lighting. All went well till...when the candles were blown out they set off the fire alarms were set off and the fire department came. A rather blushing Hubby opened the door.....to a rather hot looking fireman....then the fire really started.


Or this....When we were with a lover at duplex type room we had gone to a party at a friends home about twenty mins away. I had done a lot of work for the party and well as I am known to do...went up to her bedroom and fell asleep ( I know I am some sort of party animal eh???). I woke up several hours later to find hubby and our friend had gone back to the hotel. I was given a ride back to the hotel by the last remaining guest. I was pissed that I fell asleep and was sure I was missing something at the hotel. I had left my purse and coat in the car. Only problem was that when I knocked on the door of the room they did not answer as the bedroom was upstairs. So off I head to the front desk to ask for another key. Where is your identification? In my purse. They call the room...no answer. So here I was in a hotel with no way to get into my room, no money, no id. Finally I said to them...you have the room charges...if I tell you what I ordered for breakfast from room service the previous morning will you let me in? That did it...I was let into the room. Turns out I missed nothing....Hubby was upstairs alone in the king size bed and our friend was sleeping on the couch with a pillow around his head....hubby was snoring so loud he could not sleep with hubby. He and i ended up sleeping on the pull out sofa, holding each other and talking all night watching the snow fall outside the windows...ALL we did was talk.....yes that is the truth.

Or the time I went to meet a dear friend...yes JUST a friend from this site and stayed in a hotel in PA. After meeting and having lunch I went back to the room and relaxed....I took a nice long bath...and then managed to get my toe stuck in the spigot of the tub. My toe was black and blue for months.

See....a comedy for sure...



Belle


Oh....then there is the incident on the hood of the Jetta.....NO...no one but Showme thinks that is the truth!

[darkeyes]

Wen me an me m8 got off wiv a guy down in London..God long time go now...had very nice few hours passin the time in 'is hotel room..an stuff... we wer gettin dressed bout 2 go down 2 bar wen 'e yelped a sharp howl a pain an went wite... poor sod had only gone an caught 'is willie in 'is fly..daft sod... 'e wudn let us help 'im out cos it wos 2 sore...awwwwww.. ne ways..'e did look daft standin ther wiv it trapped an lookin so sad so we hadta insist... me held the poor lil thing up..promisin 2 b gentle wiv it..an me m8 tugged hard as ya like at the zip an the previous yelp wos nowt compared 2 the 1 'e let go wiv as 'is poor lil thingie wos freed from its shackle...tee hee.. poor babba... tee hee..drew blood an all...tee hee:bigrin::tong:

..or afta anotha nice lil sesh wiv a girl afta a party in 'er car wen me gorrouta the car at me flat..she tooted 'er horn an shouted.."Pullya skirt outa the back a ya knickers ya daft cow" as she drove away...... red face time as quiet streets at 2 in mornin don haff echo... me flattie an 'er bf heard it ne way an didn haff gimme knowin looks wen me got in... :eek::(

[FalconAngel]

Have you considered that the writer's block could be because of all the weed, booze and cigarettes?:tong:
Okay, because of just the weed and booze; unless you are trying to do an Alice in Wonderland kind of story. That was just an opium induced drug dream, anyway.

[MaybeSayMaybe]

I could offer up my own life story, but nobody would believe it, until they realize that you just can't make up some of this stuff. It seems I have some kind of talent for getting into unusual personal and professional situations. I never go out looking for it for the most part, and I am almost always on the right side of the fence. I still can't figure out if my story should be told, and if so, how.

But you need look no further for material - there is a lot of it right under your nose, right here. Take one of the trolls, and get inside his/her head. Figure out what the personal/sexual/social tensions are within them, and transliterate it into a classic story line - good vs. evil, interior vs. exterior, go-with-the-flow vs. go your own way. And then magnify all these factors, and shoot for the fences.

[Sarasvati]

Treat your audience like cock.

Tease it with your words, seduce it with your costume, stroke its underbelly cobrastyle with a sufi dance. Watch its reaction, see it become slowly alert, offer it an evil eyed smile while it unravels. Go on your knees and give it a close up of the thrills that are in store for it.

And when you are ready to take its soul away, merge your mind with the great Goddess Sarasvati and...

BITE THE WHOLE THING OFF!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Are you kiddin'Darlin?? You could write a Whole thesis paper with some of the goings on on this site alone! If you took a little bit of knowledge of the people on here and their quirks, personalities and eccentricities, one could have a 15 page paper in no time. And some of the situations we have/had and Do get into would be hilarious!
Make a story about a Psycology Professor that goes under cover (No pun intended) at a Swingers Party or a Bi-sex gathering, and have him experiance several of the wild and whacky folks who atteneded this affair.

I'm a writer, and I would have a Blast doing a paper/story like this one.
My theiss paper in collegs was: "How accessable is love and lust via the Internet?"
That was a Kick to do and I got an A, and a glowing kudo from my Professor (who was a little stunned at my findings...lol)

Have fun and good luck sugar :}

Silly Cat.

[balancingact]

Treat your audience like cock.

Tease it with your words, seduce it with your costume, stroke its underbelly cobrastyle with a sufi dance. Watch its reaction, see it become slowly alert, offer it an evil eyed smile while it unravels. Go on your knees and give it a close up of the thrills that are in store for it.

And when you are ready to take its soul away, merge your mind with the great Goddess Sarasvati and...

BITE THE WHOLE THING OFF!

Fabulous!