I just have a question

[HardSerena]

I just signed up and I have this question which confuses me a lot:
I love to make love to a girl. I think there is nothing wrong with making love with a girl. Making love in a heterosexual way is very nice to me. I enjoy it very much. But I can’t do a blow job to a girl. Getting down there and using my mouth to simulate her is just too much for me (no offense to those who enjoy it).
Meanwhile I've always been attracted to guys as well, often times even stronger than to girls. I can't explain. And I love dicks. I love to play with it and have fun. But I'm not sure I love to suck it (cause I've never suck one).
More importantly, I don't like anal sex at all. I find it very disgusting. Because I'm a medical student, I know the anatomy very well. Anal sex, to me, is just not healthy and not enjoyable. I find it very disturbing (no offense to those who enjoy it).
I can imagine myself having fun with a guy, and play with our dicks (maybe even have some sucking), but I just can’t imagine myself having anal sex. So I consider myself not gay, because I really enjoy vagina.
What kind of problem do I have? I’m so confused. How can I overcome it?
Thanks a lot.

[Realist]

You don't have to OVERCOME it. Just relax and enjoy knowing you can and probably will enjoy both sexes. You will need to seek out others who feel the same as you and discuss your interests, dreams and desires. Don't settle for less than you want, hold out for the type of relationship and person you would like to share your love, sexuality and life with.

Good luck to you. It's a great life, if you know what you want and find like-minded lovers and friends to experience it with.

Be safe, though......you should know all about that!

[rissababynta]

You don't have to OVERCOME it. Just relax and enjoy knowing you can and probably will enjoy both sexes. You will need to seek out others who feel the same as you and discuss your interests, dreams and desires. Don't settle for less than you want, hold out for the type of relationship and person you would like to share your love, sexuality and life with.

Good luck to you. It's a great life, if you know what you want and find like-minded lovers and friends to experience it with.

Be safe, though......you should know all about that!

You took the words right out of my mouth. I competely agree. There is no need to overcome anything and chances are, the more you try, the less you will succeed. Not to mention that you will only make yourself miserable in the process.

[Bunni23]

Hun -- you don't have a "problem" at all.

You are who you are. You like what you like. That's the great thing about us as people is that we're all different in our own unique ways.

No matter what one's sexual orientation is, they like different things. Just because you like being with girls doesn't mean you like to everything with a girl that someone else does, or vice versa. And just because there are things you don't like today doesn't mean you won't like those things at some other point in your life.

I think the key is to be open-minded and accept who you are and be proud of that. No one can change who you are or what you like except you! In a partner, you need to seek someone who you like and who likes you for what you are -- not for what he/she may want you to be.

Like I said -- be yourself, understand yourself and be proud of who you are!

[wikskul]

Hun -- you don't have a "problem" at all.

You are who you are. You like what you like. That's the great thing about us as people is that we're all different in our own unique ways.

No matter what one's sexual orientation is, they like different things. Just because you like being with girls doesn't mean you like to everything with a girl that someone else does, or vice versa. And just because there are things you don't like today doesn't mean you won't like those things at some other point in your life.

I think the key is to be open-minded and accept who you are and be proud of that. No one can change who you are or what you like except you! In a partner, you need to seek someone who you like and who likes you for what you are -- not for what he/she may want you to be.

Like I said -- be yourself, understand yourself and be proud of who you are!

I agree with bunni and everyone else, you do not have to overcome anyhting, exceptence is the biggest thing... of yourself, you know what u like, and what u dont like, if one day that changes, u can try it, but what ever u do, be safe, and do not settle, settling isnt a good thing, be open and honest with youself first and open and honest with those you are wanting to have a relationship with, discuss what ur likes and dislikes are, and go from there. dont be affraid to be who u r and what u want.
Best of luck to you and where u go from here

[Lonewolf76]

Hi,
I couldn't agree more with my fellow site members. Neither Heterosexual sex nor Homosexual sex, or Bisexual sex fit snugly into a nook that says you have to do all this and/or you can't do this... The beautiful thing about sex is that you can tailor it to meet your individual needs. First be honest with yourself. What do you like/dislike? - will do/won't do? etc... and it sounds like you have done that, second communicate and be honest with your partners about where your boundaries are. There are plenty of people out there that like/dislike the same things you do. Find them and then have fun! And as mentioned earlier by a fellow respondent, as time goes on you may discover that your tastes change and thus your boundaries will as well. You don't have a problem - you're a unique individual exploring your sexuality - that's a beautiful thing! Enjoy!!! :)

[Sexual_soujourner]

I think defining oneself as either Hetero or Homo. Is just that a lable. Sex is many things to different people. You like what you like and what you don't you avoid. If you like men or woman in something within yourself to come to terms with, it is lables suck as these that make it difficult for someone to just go with the desire and feelings they have for another. It's all about mutual attraction. When you meet some ono that really turns you on, doing the acts you describe may not seem so disgraceful or repulsing.
Maybe at some point you flourish, and grow to like and maybe even enjoy the acts that once distressed you. I'm guessing you are still young and exploring sex and your sexuallity. That's good!
Never stop exploring, learning and growing. And always keep an open mind.

[stephen666]

dont worry itll all work work itself out in your head.

btw dont be so down on anal sex. (iv had great orgasems wit stuff up my butt.(no ass only orgaems but definitly stronger ones). im usually a top btw)
the ass is cleaner then you think and if your using a condom, feaceas is a very low risk of touching u.
pain only comes when your doin it wrong. and lube is the best thing since sliced bread

ps labels suck

[FalconAngel]

Your problem is that you actually think that you have a problem.

You don't. Sounds like you are Bi, but just don't get into some of the sexual aspects of sex play that many people do enjoy.

Don't worry and just enjoy. Not everyone gets into anal or oral. Some are into one or the other and others are into both.

It is a completely personal thing and varies from person to person.

Don't Panic (said in large friendly letters) :D

[elian]

You seem to be worried about the anal sex - but the truth is the like or dislike of anal sex has nothing to do with gender and/or sexual preference. Just because a person feels physical or emotional attraction toward another person doesn't mean they automatically have to engage in anal sex.

I find prostate stimulation very enjoyable at times - but yes, anal sex itself - if you really want to go there with a partner - requires a lot of trust, patience and stamina (not to mention lube).

Try taking a Kinsey test. People come in all different shapes and sizes - the spectrum of sexual preference is no different, it's just that the social stigma of admitting something society considers taboo is very disconcerting to a lot of people.

Interesting hypothesis that a lot of homophobic people seem to be motivated by a sense of self-doubt or self-loathing. One would hope that by encouraging others to be secure in their own identity that those folks would then feel empowered to be compassionate towards other fellow humans. Unfortunately a related corollary seems to indicate that certain people who feel secure in their identity sometimes feel empowered to be assholes.

[jem_is_bi]

I just signed up and I have this question which confuses me a lot:
I love to make love to a girl. I think there is nothing wrong with making love with a girl. Making love in a heterosexual way is very nice to me. I enjoy it very much. But I can’t do a blow job to a girl. Getting down there and using my mouth to simulate her is just too much for me (no offense to those who enjoy it).
Meanwhile I've always been attracted to guys as well, often times even stronger than to girls. I can't explain. And I love dicks. I love to play with it and have fun. But I'm not sure I love to suck it (cause I've never suck one).
More importantly, I don't like anal sex at all. I find it very disgusting. Because I'm a medical student, I know the anatomy very well. Anal sex, to me, is just not healthy and not enjoyable. I find it very disturbing (no offense to those who enjoy it).
I can imagine myself having fun with a guy, and play with our dicks (maybe even have some sucking), but I just can’t imagine myself having anal sex. So I consider myself not gay, because I really enjoy vagina.
What kind of problem do I have? I’m so confused. How can I overcome it?
Thanks a lot.

Unlike you, I am mostly (but not completely) homosexual. I have never had anal sex and neve want to have anal sex. I love sucking dick. I really love sucking dick. I love sucking my partner's dick very often. Also, I like penetration sex with a woman, it is really fun and many women are so beautiful. However, I could never enjoy oral sex with a woman.:eek:
As all others have recommended, enjoy the sexual desires that are unique to you. Strive to be happy with your sexuality. It make life a lot more fun, even the non-sex parts.

[frikidiki]

Here's another one saying that you don't have a problem. You like what you like, end of story...

...unless someday you decide to try something you've said you don't like--in that case, I would say don't let just one experience be your only impression, if that ever applies.

I once knew a gay guy that did not like butt sex very much (I've met a lot of gay guys, but never asked what they like; this one and I happened to be attracted to each other and had this conversation). He also confessed that he always wanted to try eating a woman out! This is just to show you just how individual sexual orientation can be.

[evilpanda]

Yay, another bi guy from China! Woot woot!

Brother, there are no set rules for being bisexual. I just had to explain to my hetero friend that not all queer guys are into anal stuff. I certainly am not, at least, not at the moment.

The more you experiment and play, the more curious you will get and at ease with yourself. But, I don't recall ever having to pass an test; it's not like getting your driver's license.

[someotherguy]

What kind of problem do I have? I’m so confused. How can I overcome it?
--

You have the kind of problem that happens when you think about sex instead of taking a mindless approach to it. You can overcome your confusion by demoting your intellect to its rightful state of irrelevance.

[HardSerena]

Thanks a lot.
After reading all the posts, I feel a bit better. At least, now I know there are people who don't like anal sex just like me.
I think having an open mind is the key to everything. But to be honest, my plan right now is to be in a normal relationship with a girl and then go from there.