little advice needed

[Confused4life]

OK, so here is the situation....best friend and I hooked up twice in the last week. Both toasted the first time, not the second. She is married, I have a BF. Neither of us can get the other off our mind. Both enjoyed the sex tremendously....Do we continue? Do we stop? Neither of us wants our friendship to change, but can't physically get enough of eachother. My bf knows about the 1st time, not the second. Her H knows nothing. Not really sure what to do. :female:

[APMountianMan]

OK, so here is the situation....best friend and I hooked up twice in the last week. Both toasted the first time, not the second. She is married, I have a BF. Neither of us can get the other off our mind. Both enjoyed the sex tremendously....Do we continue? Do we stop? Neither of us wants our friendship to change, but can't physically get enough of eachother. My bf knows about the 1st time, not the second. Her H knows nothing. Not really sure what to do. :female:


Well, for what it is worth, I think that in the long run honesty is the best policy -- with each other and with your spouses. I know this sounds trite but if you both are intested in long term relationships, honesty and open communication are key.

:cool: :2cents:

[usedbear1950]

APMountain Man is right. And his advice is not trite because there is a lot to talk about. As a couple, whether married or not, you will have to decide on how your are going to deal with this. Basically guidelines that include but are not limited to; will you meet with your bi partner alone or as a 3some, what are the guidelines of the other couple, will this strain your realtionship, etc. Remember that fooing around on your partner is not honest. If you think it doesn't matter because you're the same sex you are mistaken.
Then there is the consideration of your same sex partner's guidelines. The whole idea is to enhance your life, not destroy what you already have.
I just came out to g/f and we have a long way to go to decide our guidelines.
I wish you guys luck.
:2cents: :shades: :paw:

[Mrs.F]

Perfecto Bear! I dido everything he said!!

I'm a spouse who didn't know hubby was bi! He never did anything behind my back and for that I am eternally grateful. Because that is cheating and that would have destroyed our marriage for sure, not sure if I could have accepted/forgave him for that, but luckily I don't have to worry about it. Knowing that he's bisexual, had experiences before he met me was something I could live with and accept. Now we go on in our lives and marriage together being open and honest with each other. There is much you need to discuss with your friend about what this could do to your relationship together as friends and the relationships with your partners.
I feel for you...you seem to be in a tough spot. So, whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck! :)

[JohnnyV]

Allow me to second what others have said. What tangled webs we weave... If your boyfriend knows about the 1st time, he will probably be understanding about the 2nd time. Probably, you also shouldn't hook up with the girl again until you find out whether her hubby is okay with things.

Once all the cards are on the table, I say, play play play.

J

[Confused4life]

I appreciate all of you replys. I asked my BF what he would think if it happened again, he said he didn't know. Said that he would probally be jealous, but he knows it doesn't go beyond sex with my friend and I. As for her H, I know he won't understand. He is a control freak. wouldn't let us be friends anymore, and she doesn't want to lose me, but can't get me off her mind. The way I make her tremble she said is unreal...and she does the same for me. Maybe we are just being selfish, but we both want the friendship and the being lovers to continue...alone. No 3somes. We didn't think it would happen again, but then she came over, and it did....Neither of us get quite what eachother can give at home.....is that bad?

[titeabs]

You say it doesn't 'go beyond sex' yet you have stated you have a friendship. Compound this with cheating, lying, and this 'trembling' you cause in her, and I see a disaster on the horizon. You both are at risk of losing relationships if you do the right thing, or wrong thing. If you are both open and honest, it may ruin a marriage and your relationship with the bf, but enhance your affair with her. Is this what you want? Do you love her? Does she love you? Is it worth it? Or is it, as you said, 'doesn't go beyond sex' type of relationship? I think you need to be honest with yourself. If this is just fun, excitement, pure lust, then be honest about it.
If you do the wrong thing, and continue to cheat and lie, then you will probably eventually feel guilty, and then lose all sense of integrity with your bf, and he will sense this. Eventually, her husband will sense a problem as well.
If this is a temporary thing, a flash in the pan, a roll in the hay, you may be able to keep it underwraps..........your mutual secret. But you need to think of the repercussions if this gets her trembling more and more.
This sounds exciting. It sounds fun and erotic. But with this , there is always a price to pay, and its up to you what price you are going to pay. Good luck.
Hey, if you want to end it all, but want to keep the relationship memorable, maybe you can call me and I can videotape your last session??? Please???