Help me with my tenant!!!

[biupstateny]

Heres the thing, my husband and I swing, so he knows who Im with and who I want....anywho....about a month ago we rent our apartment out to a gentleman and his girlfriend. After we meet them for the first time I knew I wanted to screw this guy. I tell my husband, and he says fine, as long as I get to bang her!! NO problem!!! About two weeks before they are suppose to move in the gentleman, we will call him Sal, informs us that he will be renting alone. My mind went to work!! I asked my husband If I could still bang him and he decided it would not be a good idea due to the professinolism of the situation...landlady/tenant. Ok, all is forgotten for about a month until Sal calls me. We chat for a while and the joking on my end he is enjoying!! So he gets the hint we are swingers and admits that he likes what he met and woulden't mind being with me !!! What a turn on. But my biggest thing is he is such a sweet person, and reminds me soooo much of my best friend that is no longer with us. We both admitted that there is an instant "friend" bond, that we are able to be so open with each other after only meeting 3 or 4 times, briefly! We have talked a few times this week and he invited me down to the apartment when he gets home for a few beers, to just hang out. My husband gives me permission, and I can fool around a little, and Sal knows this, but I WILL not cross that line at all. He just wants the company and to hang out, and I just want to keep getting to know him because he is bringing back such memories I had tucked away about my friend, plus I do want to take him to the edge and tell him I have to go!!! He knows there is no "banging" the tenants as I say!! Just curious what someone else would do in my situation. Is it wrong for me to even hang out with the man?

[Sexual_soujourner]

I understand.. It sounds like your going to bang him at some point. I would look at it just like a work relationship. "Don't shit in your own back yard"
I agree with your hubby, keep it professional. If he did stop paying rent, and you need to take a legal action you are in a difficult spot. Secondly; you have an understanding you & your husband. Cross the line once and all trust is destroyed. Hope this helps? Good luck.

[_Joe_]

Your new contract should add a "fuck to be released from your contract" policy...

[biupstateny]

I understand.. It sounds like your going to bang him at some point. I would look at it just like a work relationship. "Don't shit in your own back yard"
I agree with your hubby, keep it professional. If he did stop paying rent, and you need to take a legal action you are in a difficult spot. Secondly; you have an understanding you & your husband. Cross the line once and all trust is destroyed. Hope this helps? Good luck.



It has crossed my mind, I won't lie, but i WILL NOT betray my husband. I have an excellent marriage and will never jepordize it. I wonder too tho, will the little bit of fooling around be a problem? I can't seem to find that answer, and probably won't till tomorrow night. Sal has such a sexual karma about him, and its intense. Even when he just talks to us for a couple minutes I get turned on. I guess maybe I just want to put myself to the test. Right now, the friendship is strong, and I do know a lot about him and his family, its a weird situation.!!

[biupstateny]

Your new contract should add a "fuck to be released from your contract" policy...


LOL! I told him if he pays his rent on time every month he will get a bonus!! I was joking with him!!! He dosen't plan on going anywhere for a long time, and with the friendship we have just formed, I don't want to see him go. Its not just a complete sexual thing, It's who he is...

[Bluebiyou]

If you're wealthy, and can afford to lose 3 -4 months rent, go for it. That's about the max you'll lose if he's 'playing you'.
But don't 'f*** around to established rules... hubby says no, then...
or, if late on rent, then...
If the guy starts getting manipulative then...
You can't take the money with you... if he's steadily employed and not a manipulative alcoholic... then there are possibilities of fun...
But it would be WAY better if you told him he had to get his own place for play to begin!

[biupstateny]

If you're wealthy, and can afford to lose 3 -4 months rent, go for it. That's about the max you'll lose if he's 'playing you'.
But don't 'f*** around to established rules... hubby says no, then...
or, if late on rent, then...
If the guy starts getting manipulative then...
You can't take the money with you... if he's steadily employed and not a manipulative alcoholic... then there are possibilities of fun...
But it would be WAY better if you told him he had to get his own place for play to begin!


Understand. Im not going to kick out a person with a full time job just to be able to play. I've been thinking alot about it tonight, and I want the friend, not the tenant with benifits. His friendship will mean a lot more then a fling now and again. And im sure I would enjoy the friendship more!!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Business is business, and pleasure is pleasure..and both the twain not meet. Keep it professional Girlfriend, or there Will be problems. Friendship is one thing, but keep it a strictly business arrangement or it could lead to a whooole can of worms. Just my humble:2cents:
Cat

[angelrose1955]

My question to you is : Why would you want to temp fate?? You have already said you wanted to bang the guy...so why would you put yourself into a situation...including alcohol...where your senses could be compromised and everyone knows things happen when you are not in complete controll of your facualties ...
Why would you want to drink, "fool around a little", take him to the edge....when you KNOW it wouldn't stop there..
If it were me...I would avoid the situation all together...then there would be no question about it.
Sounds like you are trying to find an excuse to do it and then maybe blame it on the alcohol???
Not a situation with a good outcome hon...avoid it like the plague.
AngelRose

[still_shy]

My question is---did he and the girlfriend break up or is she still around. Cause that could turn into a messy situation!

[DiamondDog]

plus I do want to take him to the edge and tell him I have to go!!!

What do you mean by when you said you want to fool around with him and take him to the edge and tell him you have to go? Either have sex with Sal or don't. It seems like you've already made up your mind to have sex with him.

You and your husband have an open relationship and you do still want sex with Sal, so why not go for it? You're all consenting adults here.

This guy Sal isn't your friend who you knew from long ago. Do you still want to have sex with this guy Sal? If you do or once did he probably knows it and does your husband know that you still want or are planning to have sex with Sal?

If you do wind up having sex with him and if both of you do drink, don't blame it on the alcohol since it's your choice to have sex with him and you even wrote how the first time you saw this guy Sal you knew you wanted to/were going to have sex with him.

bluebiyou-who says that this guy is an alcoholic or manipulative?

Most people enjoy drinking from time to time socially or even daily in low amounts and they're not alcoholics.

[FalconAngel]

Actually, Liam has the right idea.

Don't mix business with pleasure. It may feel right, but you don't really know this guy enough to trust that things will stay cool.

If he develops something for you that goes beyond what you want, then it will be nothing but trouble to get rid of him and he could be a far more serious problem than you may be willing to deal with.

[paddington]

Hi, i'm just out of a relationship with my "best friend",i look back at when we became friends and i'm positive she wanted more than friendship from the word go.
the whole things ended in hurt and a mess and i've had to cut all ties with her. she crossed the line,i stepped over with her. once you cross the line there is no going back.
take care

[darkeyes]

Me sista 1ce stayed in nice lil flat in nice area wiv nice landlord.. nice landlord offered 2 reduce the rent very substantially for "favours".. big sista told 'im wer 2 gerroff an handed in 'er notice... ended up bak at me mum an dads for 2 months... poor mum an dad...:tong:.. well poor dad ne way.. tee hee:bigrin:

[onewhocares]

If I may add my two cents...I have always had a policy never to date or become involved with any one I worked with or did business with. I always felt that if the work relationship or the service or product was better than the man I would date that would be an issue. I made only one exception to that rule...and I married him. 22 years later we are together though our life has take a new road, I still care for and love him

If I could...if I were in your shoes...just because he is something that you desire, I think the complications from this relationship could not out weight the negative aspects.

Belle's:2cents:

[Bluebiyou]

Which brings us back to the point....
If you want to play, play...
Generally avoid the 'mixing' of business and pleasure...
But worst case scenario... what will it cost you... one, possibly two more months of rent than a typical deadbeat?
You can probably afford that.

Diamond Dog... I don't 'know' he's a manipulative alcoholic. I was saying... if he is... then avoid him like the plague.
Alcoholics are some of the best manipulators in the world.

Risk... there is always risk... my advise would be... if he is NOT a manipulative alcoholic... if he's NOT a manipulative alcoholic... (third time's a charm) if he's NOT a manipulative alcoholic... GO FOR IT. You're a fool not to. I'm betting it would well be worth the risk. But under no circumstances allow him access to files, computer, or vital information... (bank account, social security number... etc). No 'secret' sharing... revealing skeletons in the closet.

[DiamondDog]

Any update on this?

[biupstateny]

And here is the update!!!!
We hung out a couple times, first time we had a few drinks. We got to know each other pretty well in the past couple months.....and NO SEX!!!!!! We have formed such a friendship, and talk almost everyday...he is over the road truck driver, gone M-F. When he moved in he had broke it off with the girl he was suppose to be with and started dating another which did not work out. He tells me of all his drama, and admits to being able to talk to me like no other woman he has known. We talked about sex and he knows that I cannot cross that line with him, because my husband will not allow it, and he respects that decesion, and has even hung out with my husband on a couple occasions. Our friendship is so strong that one girl he started seeing questioned him on wether or not we were sleeping toghether!!! She felt uncomfortable around both of us when she was with him because we got along so well! Even in drunken stupers together...and there have been a few, we may flirt a little, but that is the extent of it. He said he cares about me dearly as someone he can relate to and talk with, and in now way would he cross that line and jepordize the friendship we have formed. Like he says, lovers come and go, but good friends stick around forever! And I'd rather have the friend then the lover....I got my husband and he is my best friend!! So thanks to all for your awesome advice! BTW...tenant is not an alcoholic!!! Nor is he manipulitive. He knows that I am his friend and my husband is his landlord, but I still have my legal responsibilities when it comes to the apartment. It was all put on the table!!!!:bigrin:

[texasman6172003]

If I may add my two cents...I have always had a policy never to date or become involved with any one I worked with or did business with. I always felt that if the work relationship or the service or product was better than the man I would date that would be an issue. I made only one exception to that rule...and I married him. 22 years later we are together though our life has take a new road, I still care for and love him

If I could...if I were in your shoes...just because he is something that you desire, I think the complications from this relationship could not out weight the negative aspects.

Belle's:2cents: :Reminds my self to never be employed buy or work with Belle....:tong::tong: Just teasin ya Belle,:tong:

[rainbowmonk]

Hey girl,

I sympathize with your conundrum. I am a fellow landlord myself. The law in Canada are a little different but I know from experience that it can bite you in the but in the end. I have tried your way of thought and it never turned out well. Just remember that if you treat them well they will tell one person and if you don't they will tell three....I'm sorta of the same mind as your hubby on this issue. I think that you also need to see that emotion could take effect and then you will be in for not only court but maybe loneliness if you know what I mean. I'm only making an opinion and I could be wrong.I would spend some time with your hubby and search for a couple outside of your business interests.
good luck with it all

Monk

[PolyLoveTriad]

Only saying one thing... it sounds like youre playing with fire :)