Does Bi mean everyone has to know?

[bronzegirl]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!
To some of the comments I read on here, What happen to the word Private? I"m married and I am bi, My husband and I have 4 kids between us. I feel what we do in our bed room is our business. Why would i need my children's approval.
I don't see the need for my family and friends to know something that has nothing to do with them.

To run around telling everyone to me means you still need approval from others for what your doing.

[darkeyes]

This site is a support group for peeps who r like us...ther r all kinds on ere..but we share in part for support..an in part 2 support othas.. we discuss things we feel r pertinent 2 the lives of peeps who r like us an who mite b helped by it.. ther r sum things me won go inta an thats my rite an my choice.. but gays an bisexuals aint so universally accepted that we shud keep ourselves an our thots lokked away... howeva much sum peeps wud like that 2 the case..

Ther r sum things even me cringes at posted in forums, but am not big inta censorship so if peeps wonna discuss it...ok thats fine wiv me... jus as u keepin wots pvt in ur life is also cool...:)

[bronzegirl]

This site is a support group for peeps who r like us...ther r all kinds on ere..but we share in part for support..an in part 2 support othas.. we discuss things we feel r pertinent 2 the lives of peeps who r like us an who mite b helped by it.. ther r sum things me won go inta an thats my rite an my choice.. but gays an bisexuals aint so universally accepted that we shud keep ourselves an our thots lokked away... howeva much sum peeps wud like that 2 the case..

Ther r sum things even me cringes at posted in forums, but am not big inta censorship so if peeps wonna discuss it...ok thats fine wiv me... jus as u keepin wots pvt in ur life is also cool...:)

(Thank you for your wisdom):)

[vittoria]

LOL! Verily

fam and friends dont need to know who you sleep with, why, how many times, what they use as toys, or whatever.

LOL!

The only ones that feel they need to do this (sometimes) are those who are so militant about their relationship choices that they have this insatiable need to rub it in everyones faces trying to force their consent (OR ELSE!!!)

Really tho, just like with heterosexual people, its your business.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

No one is saying that yout Have to proclaim that you are Bi. And no one said your children have to know what goes on behind Mommie and Daddy's closed doors. Some things are better left unknown in the sexual arena. :}

For many of us, its a personal choise, and we arent afraid to let it be known on here. We are all friends here and can feel free enough to talk openly and honestly about our sexualities. Granted, it isnt For everyone, and that's fine too. I hope you'll give us a chance and get to know us. We have some fanTastic individuals here, and many have become "Family" to us.

Just give us a chance, Love. :}
Everybody's Cat....;)

[bronzegirl]

LOL! Verily

fam and friends dont need to know who you sleep with, why, how many times, what they use as toys, or whatever.

LOL!

The only ones that feel they need to do this (sometimes) are those who are so militant about their relationship choices that they have this insatiable need to rub it in everyones faces trying to force their consent (OR ELSE!!!)

Really tho, just like with heterosexual people, its your business.

THANK YOU, YOUR VEIW IS REALLY ENLIGHTING:tongue:

[DiamondDog]

It all depends.

Some people want to tell their kids/family/friends and that's fine.

It's got nothing to do with telling other people about your sex life or seeking approval from others for your own actions.

If you're living with or in a relationship with a person of the same gender it makes no sense to be closeted and hide it since everyone knows anyway, and they're going to ask questions.

[_Joe_]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!
To some of the comments I read on here, What happen to the word Private? I"m married and I am bi, My husband and I have 4 kids between us. I feel what we do in our bed room is our business. Why would i need my children's approval.
I don't see the need for my family and friends to know something that has nothing to do with them.

To run around telling everyone to me means you still need approval from others for what your doing.

I'm not really sure what comments you are referring to...

At first I get the impression that you're shocked there's a place like this that we all can be all so open instead of keep it to ourselves...but no, you can't be doing that I think...but you mean running around telling everyone, so I'm not sure.

As for family, I guess you mean parents, brothers, sisters, etc.

* think *

I'm bi. My wife knows (makes her constantly nervous :( ), my best friend knows (and she hasn't been online in months, and I was the "gay boyfriend" to her, told her more than I even tell my wife), the guy who's dick I sucked knows...... and that's about it in my immediate social circle.

My parents don't need to know, and it would really fuck things up...since I work with them in a family business. Some other friends of mine don't know, and I don't really bother trying to be friends with them knowing I can't ever really be totally open with them. There's some I keep acquiantances with simply because I need to, and there's no pressure to let them know.

However, It's nice to try and have people to be fully open with, well not open - but you aren't second guessing everything you're about to say. Watching where your eyes wander in public, etc. I can't do that with my wife, my good friend in town I hang out with who knows I'm bi but realy hates talking about it... so ya there's this empty feeling that drug me online to two websites, this being one of them.

I doubt I really am making much sense, I'm rabbling. However maybe I am not and I did touch base on what you're talking about?

[bisocialnudist]

Not everyone- but the people in my life who care or who it might help.

I told my wife because I think she had a right to know and as my best friend we are in this journey together.

I told my kids because I didnt want it to take them 53 years like it took me to feel that if was ok to be a bisexual. A lot of my difficulties were caused because no one told me that being a bisexual was an acceptable lifestyle in 1978.

I tell others for the same reason I told my kids. If just one person decides its ok to be a bisexual and accepts themselves at the age of 28 instead of 48 Ive saved them 20 years of heartache.

I tell other like minded individuals because living life as a monogamous married bisexual has personal challenges that sometimes I need a "me to and "I understand".

Being open means Im no longer ashamed of who I am.

Many share the view of why bother including my counselor but as individuals we have different needs. My wife accepts me but she doesn't really understand why I would have any sort of struggles. At least a few other bisexuals do understand.

I am much happier just being myself.

I have told some who tell me I am the only bisexual they know, I hope by being a positive role model the next person they meet will be welcomed without stereotypes.

Just my view.

Mark

[nc_wsbi101]

I wouldn't think so either. I don't think some people we know would be so accepting...actually most people we know.:)

dorie

[jem_is_bi]

I only care if my family knows!
None of them would not understand or approve!
Sex with men? Your just disgusting, we disapprove!!!
With all their children I would be severely restricted.
That would really hurt me!
I would make it hard to not feel vindictive.
Yet, I am happy to be me.
I now feel an equal need for that unconventional part of me.
So, I will not give up my lover,
and will I do all I can to not be uncovered.
But, if I am discovered, I will not complain.
I will endure their distain.
But, It will hurt and I do not seek pain!!

So, even as I will not change who I am, I will not go out of my way to destroy all that I have been for 60 years.

[darkeyes]

I wouldn't think so either. I don't think some people we know would be so accepting...actually most people we know.:)

dorie
Sad hun but its the waya the world.. wile we shud all b open an above board 2 the world the world, or mucha it aint reddy yet 2 accept it yet.. till then.. only peeps that need 2 kno r those ya wan 2 kno..

.. but its gettin betta.. least in lotsa places... an we can live open lives luffin who we like an mos peeps don giv a sod.. so no despair now... huggles...

[vittoria]

It all depends.

Some people want to tell their kids/family/friends and that's fine.

It's got nothing to do with telling other people about your sex life or seeking approval from others for your own actions.

If you're living with or in a relationship with a person of the same gender it makes no sense to be closeted and hide it since everyone knows anyway, and they're going to ask questions.


Aww.. sweetie, there's no need to label anyone, especially if you're "post-bi" and "post labels" !! :cutelaugh!!

Besides which the OP already stated that she was married to a man.. which apparently means she isnt living with someone of the same gender (which is what made her ask the question of those who would understand, not of those who would criticize her question, or demean)

Which reminds most of us of this damn troll running around calling people "closeted" and stuff... have you seen him lately? ;)

j/k (lmnop!)

[TaurusBeresford]

actually, for me it's not a acceptance thing really, it's more about increasing my chances of finding a mate. I put myself out for others to see so that I can be found by those who are looking, I'm no longer looking, cause it's been a big waste of my time and very disappointing. I am letting them seek me instead, cause I've tried for far too long searching seeing the same group of people in various places who are either only out for what they can get for themselves in a one time event, or are not interested in me as a mate. i do know that I'm done with those guys that don't care if I get what I need or not.

[csrakate]

How much a person decides to disclose about their sexuality is a personal issue and doesn't have a right or a wrong component to it. For myself and my husband, we have chosen to NOT tell our friends and our families and definitely not our children. And it isn't really JUST about my husband's bisexuality. I wouldn't disclose anything about plain ol' hetero sexual activities any more than I would wish to disclose the fact that sometimes Mommy uses a strap-on on Daddy. There is no need for them to know that their dad is sexually attracted to men (and that their mom is turned on by that attraction LOL!) any more than they need to know about their mom's drawer full of vibrators and her penchant for porn. Matter of fact, I am quite sure that my sons (ages 20 and 23) would prefer not to even think about their parents having sex PERIOD! LOL!

I guess I am just considered old fashioned in many ways and I feel that our sex life is simply that....OUR sex life. BUT, like I said, this is a personal issue and for many others, there is a need to disclose to friends and family....not just because they don't want to have to hide a live in lover, not because they wish to be able to be "out" and have the ability to "hook up", but a deeper, more profound need to feel that they can be accepted for who and what they are. There is no right and wrong in this situation and no one should ever be judged for the decision that they make in this regard.

Just my :2cents:

Kate