on off gay?

[Whoami?]

Whats up, I'm here to just try and understand simple things.

Personally I guess I would be classed as bisexual, but its kind of wierd its not like I enjoy both at once it changes from day to day, today for example the female gender don't really do much for me but the male gender do :male:.

I'm just curious if anyone else thinks this way...

[FalconAngel]

You would be surprised at how many Bisexuals are just like you in all variations of what you have described.
Some lean more towards men, then lean more towards women. Some prefer women, then get the urge for men for a while.

Being Bi does not mean that you have to prefer both at the same time, or both equally. Bisexuality runs the entire gamut of interest in both genders, from preference to one over the other to equal attraction to both genders.

Welcome to the site.

[Gemini25]

Welcome to the site i know you will find the answers to the questions you may have here. This is a great site with positive people willing to talk about anything and everything. What you are feeling is normal, and nothing to worry about. Take a look at smoe of the posts here, and check out the chat room. Best wishes to you.

Michael:flag4:

[12voltman59]

You have already been given some good advice----bisexuality is interesting since it really does show that human sexuality is very much open and fluid--at least for a very large number of people-----

I think the more you explore this side of yourself---you will find that your desires for gender ebbs and flows---sometimes more towards males and other times towards females----

Enjoy the site and enjoy discovering things about yourself that you did not know before.

[jamieknyc]

At the risk of simply adding a 'me too,' the previous posters were right that it can change at times or even day-to-day

[Bi-Zarro]

As someone who defined himself as "straight" for a long time -- don't worry, you're not alone in often feeling confusion. I'm a bit reluctant to try to pin myself down on the Kinsey scale these days. The main reason I came here in the first place was to find people who would be empathetic. (Oh, and to hopefully find a guy who's my type. Hello, boys. ;) )

[jeancarleo]

WELCOME TO THE SITE!!!

I feel attracted to both guys and girls just like everyone else here.
That's what makes us bisexuals. There's different kinds of bisexuals, in my case I like having bf and if he's ok having a gf would be better to share in bed and to love =)

[FerociousFeline]

I think I've probably beaten a few horses to death with this one, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'll say it again.

For me, it's really not about being attracted to either sex. It's more about the chemistry of what I find. My default setting is for women. My desire for women is akin to a chocoholic with chocolate on his mouth and sticky fingers.
However, I have become aware that there is the distinct possibility that I am also open to my type of man. (I am not quite sure yet what that is.)

On a larger scale though, my own personal foundation has recently changed so that now I don't see men or women around me. I see people. I see all potential lovers. The potential intimacy that this has opened up in me in my relations with other people who I wind up NOT being intimate with, has changed to a GREAT DEGREE BECAUSE of this. It's a GOOD thing. I think this is the greatest gift that my acknowledging my own capability has given me. Now, I am fully aware of the idea that some of my friends I am "Yin" to, while some of my friends I am "Yang" to. This has allowed me to more fully understand myself as well as others.

As for the whole "gay" thing, I don't relate to it at all. For me, being with same sex in an intimate way does NOT equate the "Gay" lifestyle. I dislike the way that I perceive it, it's apparent values, it's public face, and have since realized that the greater portion of my confusion over being bisexual was the direct result of knowing to my core that I had nothing in common with the "Gay" lifestyle, movement, etc. and in fact disliked it to the point of defending my right to be with men while being fully divorced from any aspect of it. All the while all the hets around me who took an interest seemed hellbent on pushing me into that group.

The truth is, the rest of the world seems to view the term "Bisexual" as a narrow term, when in fact it's HUGE! The diversity within the larger set of bisexuals is much larger than the diversity of any other set. There are so many different ways of expressing your sexuality that it's dumbfounding.

The basics: I love people. Some of them I can fantasize being submissive and vulnerable to, some of them inspire me to a more dominant interaction with them. But because of this capacity the only constant is actually.... me.

I am sensitive, but strong. My inner Yin is behind my outward Yang. Those who have the desire and the skill to pick the locks, well, they are the ones who will get IN.

But Gay? Nah. FTN.

(resumes trying to find the purrfect kilt/skirt online)

FF

[Flash_Man]

Will the real "me" please stand up, and I am not necessarily referring to getting an erection.

[Whoami?]

You all helped a lot thanks :D.

This actually reminded me of telling someone when I was younger that I was bisexual in confidence, and all I got was bullying because she told one of her loud mouthed friends and I only just today realized why their was the old school mates pointing at me throughout college.

Being bullied turned me straight for quite a few years without thinking about the same sex, so I think I just realized some more of my own questions really.

[miamiuu]

I rarely get with guys but I leave the option open just because in the past I had strong feelings for some guys and it created confusion for me. Right now I am open to an extent with getting with a guy, but I have to know them pretty well. I wont get with just any guy. I dont go looking for hookups.

[mindfinding]

I hear what your saying, I change day to day too. Fantasies are funny huh?

Welcome to the site!

[void()]

Billy Smith had landed a new job. On his first day in the record shop one of his fellow co-workers approached him. She was a cute and nubile gal, Billy thought if given half a chance he might like to take her to bed.

"Hi Billy. I'm Cindy Jones, handle the country music section. Thought I'd let you know."

Billy shook hands with her. The next day a handsome young guy was in the shop with him.

"Hi Billy. I'm Greg Jones, Cindy's brother. On her days off I do the country music section. Usually I handle the folk stuff."

Billy soon was invited to the Jones place.

"So Billy, I noticed you checking out my tits. You must be straight." Cindy said.

Billy remained silent a moment as Greg came into the room.

"No sis, Billy's got to be gay. He was drooling over my ass."

Billy then spoke. "Cindy you're damn fine, but I'm not straight. Greg, I could eat you with a spoon, but I'm not gay."

Now picture the scene when Billy asks if they'd mind taking him bed together.

Actually had a similar experience here. The first reaction was a bit of shock. Then a realization, "oh you're a freak, eh?"

[the sacred night]

I am usually in the mood for one sex or the other as well... although sometimes it changes quickly. Sometimes I'll masturbate thinking about one sex, and then as soon as I come, I'll get horny for the other and start all over! Then, sometimes I'm in the mood for one sex for months at a time and start to wonder if I'm really bi until it changes back.

[BunnyAce]

I'm only 23 (woman) and I've been repressed about my bisexuality for awhile, so I'm still learning alot about myself. But I find that emotionally I am attracted to men, but sexually I want women much more than men... but I'm still learning.

[Gemini523]

From everything I've read, this is a common feeling among bi's. I know that I love making love to a woman, but then a switch is hit, and the other side of my brain desires a man to make love to me. It's taken a while to come to terms with this, but now it is just a part of who I am.

Good luck.

[asenath]

I'm with Ferocious Feline. My first same-sex experience was with a card-carrying lesbian. Through her and several other gay people I discovered a surprising level of suspicion, or worse, sometimes even hostility toward bi's. I bought into a whole bunch of this prejudiced mentality....that bi's are in the closet....that we're all sluts...that we dump gay people to go back to straight people (part of the closet issue)....because I listened too much, it took me some time to accept the fact that I was attracted to both men and women. Lately, I've finally been accepting the fact that I just can't identify with the gay community. As a friend...absolutely...but as a lifestyle, nope. It's not my world.
Anyway, I find the bi flip has a timing and mind of it's own and it's ultimately a people thing for me. If I dig you, it's something about YOU. Gender comes 2nd.
:grouphug:

[David Parsons]

I too find myself in the same mind set. One day or (hour) it's men, then woman, very very confusing. Of course I'd rather 'Eat' woman, I find that a hard cock arouses me too and I find myself wanting to lick the head or suck the balls. I'm a very 'hands on; person and find that massageing a male or female butt very arousing.

[chick_a_dee]

On off gay? I don't think so because I'm always on for either sex. I love making love to my lady and I equally enjoy making love to a man. :bipride:

[Bopit4Ever]

Not to be rude, but isnt this just another of the usual threads asking the same thing for the umpteenth time? Do people read older threads before they post anymore?

[Rambigent]

Not to be rude, but isnt this just another of the usual threads asking the same thing for the umpteenth time? Do people read older threads before they post anymore?

I tried to glance through the most recent threads when I signed up...since 2005 there have been over 5,400 threads on this here forum (I just checked) so I think it's ludicrous to expect someone to have read through every single thread before posting a question. Even assuming the person spends no more than 30 seconds on each thread, reading through everything would take over 40 straight hours...or is that bi hours?

I would suggest doing a quick topic search before posting a new topic, but even then, the poster may feel that their question is different than what has been posted before. I know some of the long-time members get tired of reading the same question asked by the umpteenth new member, but my guess is the said new member didn't know how to do a topic search, didn't feel the previous thread(s) covered what they wanted to know/express, or simply wanted to start their own personal thread.

Anyway, how much time does it take to read the topic and the first couple sentences, think, "Been there, done that, don't need to answer AGAIN," and navigate to the next thread? I think a little patience with the new folks would help 'em feel more welcome.

[cliffml]

With me i've noticed as of the last couple years, it's been in cycles. The cycles with men seem to be lasting longer each time thou, but i still go back to women for a little while.

When i'm with a woman i just want to be with her, same goes for when i'm with a man, for me there's no inbetween.

[mel85]

I am also still confused but I found that I will check men out more physically, especially when they are without a shirt but if I think about a relationship or sex I prefer woman. I am still figuring out how it all works. :)

[SlyAngie]

I so agree. Somedays I want my husband other days, I wish I had a girlfriend.
Kind of on the same general topic, anyone get the feeling sometimes that being bi, I'm not accepted by gays or st8s? I try to expalin to others I like girls but I'm married and they look at me crazy and ask "but your st8 now since your married right?" On the other hand, I try to hang out with gay friends, and they treat me weird being a girl and married to a guy. :(:bibounce:

[Randypan]

I find that altho I love sex with a man, and I mean all aspects of sex with a man, I could never be in a comitted relationship with one. For the most part I do not like the way men think or act. Even the swishyist gay guy (Which gets on my nerves very quickly) has spurts of male macho bullshit from time to time. I have never been able to have a lasting male friendship because I cannot understand or stand how the bulk of the male population thinks or acts. And yes, being male, I have those tendancies myself and have never been able to understand them even then. Ah, but give me a nice hard dick attached to a nice clean body and a minimally obnoxious personality and I'll go gay for a couple of hours.

[firston]

I get the same thing. Sometimes I have days where men appeal to me more, sometimes women (which is usually more often).