What does this mean to me?

[pcatz]

Recently, I came to one of those moments in a relationship when I had to tell my then to-be straight gf that I was bi. The response I got was "What does this mean to me?"

I have only done this a few times (read three) in life - so I wasn't ready for the question. Here's what I came up with: "I don't know what it means to you. I guess it could mean that you compete with the whole of humanity, instead of half of humanity. I don't know what it implies in your mind - so I will say this ... if I am here, I am here with you."

I was wondering if others have been through a similar situation - if you have, what would be or was.. your response?

[ambi53mm]

Recently, I came to one of those moments in a relationship when I had to tell my then to-be straight gf that I was bi. The response I got was "What does this mean to me?"

I have only done this a few times (read three) in life - so I wasn't ready for the question. Here's what I came up with: "I don't know what it means to you. I guess it could mean that you compete with the whole of humanity, instead of half of humanity. I don't know what it implies in your mind - so I will say this ... if I am here, I am here with you."

I was wondering if others have been through a similar situation - if you have, what would be or was.. your response?

I guess it would depend on the relationship...and for a quick response it was what surfaced...To the what does this mean to me question?.." I trust you enough to share something with you that is a part of who I am...and that I'm being as honest as I can afford to be in the moment"......and the man you fell in love with is still very much in love with you....so do you want that steak medium rare or burnt lol.

Ambi:)

[Bluebiyou]

Very beautiful... the middle part was a bit defensive... but very good.

[jem_is_bi]

Wow! I am glad I never had to deal with that question.
Does this mean you can never see her as being your exclusive lover and wife? Why not make her question your question to you. Can you love exclusively another person? I think it would be better if you answer it before it is asked again by another gf. There is nothing wrong with any answer you truly believe. This will enable you to choose girl friends with similar views. So, when you tell them your bi, they will be more likely to understand what that means to them. Destroying the perceptions and fantasies of another will always will be painful. But, that is part of life too. It happends to all of us.

[shameless agitator]

I guess it would depend on the relationship...and for a quick response it was what surfaced...To the what does this mean to me question?.." I trust you enough to share something with you that is a part of who I am...and that I'm being as honest as I can afford to be in the moment"......and the man you fell in love with is still very much in love with you....so do you want that steak medium rare or burnt lol.

Ambi:)I think this is perfect. The closest I've ever come to this situation since I tend to come out to everybody pretty quickly, was when I told a new girlfriend that I would be open to & maybe interested in polyamory. At her insistence we agreed on monogamy & a couple months later I caught her fucking our room mate. I'm still flabbergasted. If she wanted him, all she had to do was talk to me. She could have had us both or I would have stepped aside gracefully & we'd all still be friends.

[allbimyself]

I think this is perfect. The closest I've ever come to this situation since I tend to come out to everybody pretty quickly, was when I told a new girlfriend that I would be open to & maybe interested in polyamory. At her insistence we agreed on monogamy & a couple months later I caught her fucking our room mate. I'm still flabbergasted. If she wanted him, all she had to do was talk to me. She could have had us both or I would have stepped aside gracefully & we'd all still be friends.She didn't want to have an open relationship because it would have taken away the thrill of doing something she wasn't supposed to.