1st December - World AIDs Day

[rupertbare]

Just a reminder to us all that it's "wear your red ribbon day". Here in the UK STD's are going up at an alarming rate - syphilis by 37% last year - to a point where the sexual health clinics are reaching breaking point.

My own reason for wearing my ribbon is twofold:
I took in a lodger in the 1980's who had had to "run away" from his parents house after "coming out" as a homosexual to them - his father's reponse was to beat him senseless. He became homeless and was befriended by a close friend of mine and I took him in (for sanctuary - no other reason) - he only stayed a few weeks but within two years and by being a "pretty boy" who acted in a rather promiscuous manner he had contracted HIV and within a few months of finding out was dead.
The second reason is that my very oldest male friend's son died within a matter of weeks of finding out he had full blown AIDS in 2002 - the pain of his parents still goes on.

I've been tested myself and in those days it took a month to get the results - I'm lucky - negative.

So folks - take CARE - safe sex or no sex seems to be the only safe way.

With love

Rupe.

[Brian]

Great post. Thanks for the reminder Rupe!

- Drew :paw:

[csrakate]

I still remember helping to organize a World AIDs Day vigil at a local hospital over ten years ago. It was the first such event for our community even though World AIDs Day had been in existence for many years. We had arranged to have a part of the AIDs quilt put on display in the lobby of the hospital for several weeks with plans to culiminate the close of this display on Decenber 1st with a candlelight vigil. On the afternoon of December 1st I stood out in the misting rain lining the sidewalks around the hospital with sand filled bags so that a candle could be placed in them at the appointed hour. We worked for hours feeling that we had supplied enough bags. We were wrong.

I can't tell you how overwhelming it was to see the volumes of people who showed up that evening to light a candle in memory of a loved one who died, or in honor of someone who might be suffering, from this insidious disease. It was also a bittersweet moment for me as I lit a candle in memory of my cousin who had died from AIDs the year before. I had to honor his memory without using his real name because his family refused to acknowledge the reality of his death. Instead of showing support and understanding, they chose to ignore the fact that he died as a result of merely loving someone who unfortunately infected him. Instead of seeking to inform about the dangers of this disease and educate about ways to prevent the spread, they chose to blame a lifestyle that they did not agree with. I try very hard not to judge them too harshly...this was still all very new to so many at the time.

It is not so new anymore! To ignore the facts is stupid...to act without thought is suicide. The alarming increase in the incidences of STD's alone indicates that many still consider themselves invincible, especially among the young. Practicing safe sex is vital and if you find yourself among those who have ignored the practice in the past, please start doing so today...before it is too late.

And it is important that we all remember that while World AIDs day is a one day event, this battle is for a lifetime.

Hugs,
Kate

[m.in.heels&hose]

Thank you both rupertbare and kate
although i have not known anyone that has had this horrible disease, i do feel that more should be done in the research of hiv/aids
this is always in the back of my mind over the years that i have "played"

and kate, i do understand how you feel about your relatives, it really scares me at how some people think, and try to change the truth to make them selves feel better


and kudo's to you aswell rupert, taking in the child when he needed someone to be there for him, i would have done the same and i would have also wanted to give the dad the beating he deserved for turning his back on his son

but it did break my heart to hear that both of these friends to 2 very good people have perished to this disease

hugs and kisses
m.in.heels&hose

[RebekaLee]

rupert and kate...thank you for sharing your stories.
i personally have not had a close friend/relative with aids. my experience with it came thru my sister. about two yeras ago she had a roommate who had AIDS. it was sad to see and hear my sisters stories....of how chad was getting worse. and too see the emotions that she felt..broke my heart. he died in september...she got pictures and notes together and had my grandmother make a quilt panel...that they dedicated at a service in tulsa. there were also other quilts on display. it was...well, there is no word for it...seeing the people involved and how many ppl this disease has affected.
my sister is now active in RAIN in Tulsa...and is a big participant in the Tulsa AIDS walk every year.

http://www.worldaidsday.org/index.asp

[nubiwoman]

My dear friend B contracted HIV in the early 90's.

He had just moved to England from his native South Africa with his pregnant wife when he was diagnosed.. His wife and child were free of the virus and B moved out of the marital home..

The drug therapy B took gave him two half hour breaks in the day when he could eat. He lived each day as if it was his last and became heavily involved in the dance/drug scene...

Eventually he met the love of his life... a sweet boy several years his junior.. the sweet boy loved B so much he deliberately exposed himself to B's virus because he wanted to convey the depth of his love.... he soon contracted HIV of course, B was overwhelmed with grief and rage at the sweet boys foolishness..

Just under two years ago B went for his usual check-up with his HIV specialist.. He was now on his third type of treatment and his doctor was delighted to tell B that his life expectancy was now pretty much the same as someone living without the virus...

B was shell-shocked....... he talked with his sweet boy and explained how disturbing he found the reality that a normal lifespan awaited him yet he must not use his dance drugs as they would cause a fatal reaction with his medication... dancing in clubs was his favourite way of releasing tension.. he could not envisiage a life without that outlet...

A week later B's body was found with an empty shringe in his arm... he had taken heroin for the first time in a year.... it had killed him..

The sweet boy still goes to the hospital every few months for his blood tests.... he grieves for his boy and he grieves for the future.. he just has casual sex now because he is too scared of the potential for rejection if he discloses his HIV status to someone he wants to have a relationship with....the sweet boy is one of my closest friends..

R.I.P. Sweet B. I will always love you.... jxx

[RebekaLee]

This requires almost zero effort and is legitimate. So take a minute of your time and do it, please!

Go to this site and light a candle.

Bristol-Meyers Squibb will donate $1 for every candle lit.

http://www.lighttounite.com/


(a post that i copied from my sister)

[nubiwoman]

thanks for that Rebekka :) jxx

[Ratchick]

When I was a teenager I worked at a Hospice for folks with later stages of AIDS. It opened my eyes wide open as mostly man after man I got to know and take care of passed-on. Alot of them alone, being thrown-out by their familes. We even had unwanted children. These children were by far the most gut wrentching to take care of.

I took some solice in knowing that the kindness we showed them in thier last days hopefully gave them some comfort.

To this day, I make sure I donate time as well as money to things like Action AIDS, Manna(Kind of 'meals on wheels' for those living with HIV), AIDS Fund, Ect.

I made one promise to one man I got to know very well, like a brother, while he was there. One of his last requests was for me to promise to 1) not forget him 2) Live life to the fullest 3) ALWAYS practice safe sex.

I have always kept my promise to him. And hope I always can.

On this day when kids think AIDS is not as big of a threat, we need to remind them that it is still around us, and it is still fatal. And we still need to show our support for all those afflicted with this disease.

Hugs to you all,
RC :soapbox:

[JohnnyV]

Bisexual men carry a special burden with AIDs because often times when we are having sex with women, we feel nervous about using protection since we fear she may "guess" that we've been with men before. We have to resist that tendency as much as possible.

Recent studies have shown that bisexuals are less likely than gay men to engage in unprotected sex, but still, we need to be vigilant (not only with gay men but also with women.

It is also imperative that as bisexuals we show love to our gay brothers, because the more isolated and unhappy they feel, the greater the chances that they will decide that living a long life is not worth sacrificing the transient pleasures of carefree sex now. As bisexuals we have access to some of the institutions, like hetero marriage, that gay men are denied. Instead of using these accesses as a way to look down on gays, we need to use our increased confidence and sense of stability to anchor gay men in a less turbulent community, so that they can think clearly enough to avoid having unsafe sex.

I am subtle, but I keep special watch over gay men I know to make sure that they're happy and not falling through the cracks. Instead of attacking the problem of promiscuity directly, I invite them to do things with me on weekends to keep them busy so they aren't prowling bars alone and feeling vulnerable to temptation.

AIDs takes a whole community's coordination to conquer.

J