View Full Version : Single bi guys
dephi66
Jan 20, 2008, 9:40 AM
I am a single bi male looking to meet bi couples fror friendship and some hot sex if iy goes that way. I was married to a women for 25 yrs whom passed at 37. Now I am alone and dont understand why couples are not into single guys. I understand many can be jerks. But not all of us are that way. We frequented hedo 2 for many years and even there single men are singled out to a point. Looking for some friendly couples. John
DiamondDog
Jan 20, 2008, 10:04 AM
Lots of people are all about the fantasy but don't want the reality of actually inviting another person to have sex with them and their spouse/partner.
Also sometimes the other people aren't really queer at all.
Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places? Aren't most swingers (even most people when it comes down to it) predominantly heterosexual?
welickit
Jan 20, 2008, 11:24 AM
You say now that you are alone you don't understand why couples aren't into single guys. That tends to make us think you may have understood it before. That tends to be a bit confusing.
We have never read a profile of a single guy who didn't say he was really a nice guy or he isn't like all the others. Obviously that is just a fact of life we all have to sort out. Nice guys that just want some "really hot sex". Single guys are quick to talk about themselves and what they want. Very few ever have much else to say. Most assume that couples want to see a picture of their cock. Most of them don't seem to be able to write an email that is more than five words long. A very large percent of them aren't actually single at all, they just want a piece of ass. If a guy is a cheat and a liar, what does he have to offer? Certainly you can't believe anything he says if he claims to be single when he isn't.
No direct offense intended but you can see why couples tend to not be trusting when it comes to "single" men.
We have enjoyed a few single men both as friends and as sexual partners. Individuals that had more on their minds and in their profile than wanting sex.
Everyone is different but that is part of how we view single men. One of the first questions we ask if we answer an email from someone we might be interested in is: Do you have a place to get together? The few who actually reply usually say No, I live with relatives or My room mate wouldn't understand. Others have the balls to suggest a porn theater, the back seat of their car, a boat and one even suggested an abandoned building.
Again, that is just our view based on our experiences.
dephi66
Jan 20, 2008, 11:45 AM
I totally understand everything you are saying. I am sure it is the truth most of the time. But isit fair to group us all as being that way. I was married to a wonderfull women for 25 yrs and have a 13 yr old daughter to raise by myself. Life isnt easy that way sometimes. I have not dated since her death and dont think I will ever find someone to replace her. I am just looking for some couples be be friends with and if it goes any futher thats great, if not thats ok to. I guess i feel I am an exception to what most guys are looking for. Being classified as a cheater or some kind of sex pig is a bummer, and I would think in a group of mature adults especcially swingers or others looking for additional sex partners communication would be the best to determine a persons actions or assumptions. Thanks for the reply! Maybe I will will make some friends sometime that are like thinking as as open minded as myself. I have experienced single men at resorts and nudest resorts that are totally as you suggest but I think all should be judged as individuals not as a group.John
welickit
Jan 20, 2008, 1:15 PM
John
We agree 100 % with not putting all single guys in a group of their own. Unfortunately the few ruin it for the majority. Even most of the nudist resorts North of Tampa are now banning ALL SINGLE MEN. We don't agree with that decision but once again the actions of a few screwed things up for all. Many of the members have protested the decision but it did little good. Even some of the on site swinger clubs are banning single men on certain nights and as always they limit the number allowed to attend other nights. There are so many single men out there compared to the number of couples who desire their company that it isn't funny.
I can relate to bringing up a kid alone. I got custody of my two sons when they were 12 & 16 and brought them up alone. It doesn't leave much time for a father to do much except jerk off and hope for better times. By the same token I can relate to being a single male as a result of that divorce years ago. I was classified the same then as you are now. What I did different than most guys is I didn't go looking for sex. I went looking for friends with common interests and common problems and issues. Believe it or not an AOL chat room for single mothers was a gold mine. I registered as Mister Mom and joined the chat. It was the holiday season and I needed to know how to make a ham glaze. I didn't go looking for sex but it found me. I would go to the laundromat even though I had a washer and dryer. The gals and even some of the guys there were very friendly and I made some interesting friendships.
herkemer230
Jan 20, 2008, 1:22 PM
John
We agree 100 % with not putting all single guys in a group of their own. Unfortunately the few ruin it for the majority. Even most of the nudist resorts North of Tampa are now banning ALL SINGLE MEN. We don't agree with that decision but once again the actions of a few screwed things up for all. Many of the members have protested the decision but it did little good. Even some of the on site swinger clubs are banning single men on certain nights and as always they limit the number allowed to attend other nights. There are so many single men out there compared to the number of couples who desire their company that it isn't funny.
I can relate to bringing up a kid alone. I got custody of my two sons when they were 12 & 16 and brought them up alone. It doesn't leave much time for a father to do much except jerk off and hope for better times. By the same token I can relate to being a single male as a result of that divorce years ago. I was classified the same then as you are now. What I did different than most guys is I didn't go looking for sex. I went looking for friends with common interests and common problems and issues. Believe it or not an AOL chat room for single mothers was a gold mine. I registered as Mister Mom and joined the chat. It was the holiday season and I needed to know how to make a ham glaze. I didn't go looking for sex but it found me. I would go to the laundromat even though I had a washer and dryer. The gals and even some of the guys there were very friendly and I made some interesting friendships.So far the responses have been accurate and right on.
I see myself aslaid back and cool but I have seen a major difference when it comes to the single male. In mos cases its not an asset.
herkemer230
Jan 20, 2008, 1:24 PM
[QUOTE=herkemer230;91822]So far the responses have been accurate and right on.
I see myself aslaid back and cool but I have seen a major difference when it comes to the single male. In mos cases its not an asset.
barejerr
Mar 1, 2009, 12:23 PM
I am a single bi male looking to meet bi couples fror friendship and some hot sex if iy goes that way. I was married to a women for 25 yrs whom passed at 37. Now I am alone and dont understand why couples are not into single guys. I understand many can be jerks. But not all of us are that way. We frequented hedo 2 for many years and even there single men are singled out to a point. Looking for some friendly couples. John
I think it is often times the amount of interplay with the female of the species in a MMF or MFM traid. Meaning, bi single men tend to "play" more with the female than the male partner. Now yes, I know that bi does mean liking both sexes, but a lot of so called bi single males, are only bi if a female is present or involved. And bi to a lot of them is he will allow the husband to do oral on him, but will do nothing in return.... Complicated right !
Just like everyone else on the planet, everyone has different tastes, likes, dislikes etc and finding "Mr or Mrs Goodbar" isn;t as easy as one my think. Think about all the variations on this theme, for 2 people to be compatible. It is tough enough, then add one more to the mix... it increases incompatibility 10 fold.... Also from my experience with 3's that there can be a jealously factor on the hubbies part if the wife gets too much attention... Again complicated !
Ideally what has work at least for me, is to befriend the male (husband). Establish a repoire and friendship with him and then bring the wife in at a later time. Comments welcome....
rissababynta
Mar 1, 2009, 12:50 PM
Well, we don't include anyone anyway, whether single or not. So, sorry, not much help in his department.
guycurious
Mar 1, 2009, 1:00 PM
We'd love to find another bi male to play with. Our biggest fear is wondering who else he is playing with besides us. In terms of riskiness single bi males are at the top of our list. We searched for a LONG time, found one, didn't go well. Found a bi couple, had fun one night, they were having some family issues, that ended.
We recently found a couple at a lifestyle club and he is bicurious, she is bi. They live about 45 minutes to an hour away and we've played with them twice, had a great time but they're not big on keeping in touch. So this leaves me wondering if they are really interested.
We would love to find another bi couple, around our age, with kids (we feel this reduces the risk of std's) who we could invite to the kids birthday parties, go out for dinner, hang out, fool around with. Someone in our general area would be the icing on the cake. :rolleyes:
We just started chatting online with another couple who lives about 10 minutes from us who seem to be looking for the same thing. Not holding my breath but wish us well. Not being able to explore my bisexuality is KILLING me
FalconAngel
Mar 1, 2009, 9:58 PM
In your particular case, one of the biggies that puts us out about single men, which, btw, we do seek, is the fact of having a blank profile.
And while there are a few reasons that some people have blank profiles, it speaks volumes to those of us who have suffered through bad experiences like the ones listed by others. Most couples have had them. We've even had the one where the guy was interested in him more than her and only for sex.
There are a lot of factors and when we see things that are consistent with the bad, we will automatically see it that way.
No, it isn't fair, but it is human nature and the fact that the good single guys suffer because of the boneheads that seem to be the majority is just one more obstacle to hurdle for the single guy who is the exception to the rule.
welickit
Mar 2, 2009, 2:32 PM
We'd love to find another bi male to play with. Our biggest fear is wondering who else he is playing with besides us. In terms of riskiness single bi males are at the top of our list.
We can agree with what you say, but what about married men who will jump in bed with anything that will lay still? Many of them aren't getting sex at home anyway so they could care less about diseases.
I guess it all boils down to sorting people out and finding someone who you can relate to. Not an easy task.
guycurious
Mar 2, 2009, 5:00 PM
We can agree with what you say, but what about married men who will jump in bed with anything that will lay still? Many of them aren't getting sex at home anyway so they could care less about diseases.
I guess it all boils down to sorting people out and finding someone who you can relate to. Not an easy task.
One of the first questions we ask is, "Married or single ?" If he is married we ask if she will be joining us.
Most of the time the answer is, "No, she doesn't know about my bi side. She would never understand."
"Sorry, we do not entertain those who cheat."
At the risk of sounding harsh we really don't care if your wife is unaccepting of your bisexuality. If you are unhappy with your marriage then get a divorce and move on.
welickit
Mar 2, 2009, 7:18 PM
Good reply. The wife doesn't know because there is no open line of communication. The husband "assumes" she would never understand. He said for better or for worse then forgot about it. That puts him inline for the worse.:2cents::bipride:
ukmale32
Mar 2, 2009, 8:12 PM
For me, a single bi guy - the problem is you can send umpteen e-mails or messages to people, not along the lines of do you want sex - but to try & engage in sex. And you get few if any replies. So rather than spend a long time writing long replies to people or e-mails they get shorter & in the end I have found myself wondering what to do. I do get e-mails from some other single guys along the line of do you want to f*ck. That's not my thing. I don't have face photo's on here because I am not out. I have tried various over the years I have been here. Only now I might meet up with another guy (Mike) in the near future. For me meeting a bi couple would be less threatening. I'm not gay as such - maybe even preferring female company - but if I met a bi couple - I would be interested in both not just the female. I think sometimes couples with a str8 hubbie use this site for meeting the bi female only. Gay sex to me seems to have a really nasty seedy side. I don't just want quick sexual gratification with some guy in a toilet. I do think that it is people like this that make the general populas think badly of gay men. Certainly here in the UK, it's this sort of action that has closed almost all public toilets because of this sort of dirty activity.
Ok, more than one issue there. But it is really fustrating to be a single bi guy, honest & not just wanting a quick release or a one night stand with someone. My photo's I have on here for example are to illustrate that I am bi. Anyway - beers & late & time I went to bed.
Peace x
diB4u
Mar 3, 2009, 6:39 AM
For me, a single bi guy - the problem is you can send umpteen e-mails or messages to people, not along the lines of do you want sex - but to try & engage in sex. And you get few if any replies. So rather than spend a long time writing long replies to people or e-mails they get shorter & in the end I have found myself wondering what to do. I do get e-mails from some other single guys along the line of do you want to f*ck. That's not my thing. I don't have face photo's on here because I am not out. I have tried various over the years I have been here. Only now I might meet up with another guy (Mike) in the near future. For me meeting a bi couple would be less threatening. I'm not gay as such - maybe even preferring female company - but if I met a bi couple - I would be interested in both not just the female. I think sometimes couples with a str8 hubbie use this site for meeting the bi female only. Gay sex to me seems to have a really nasty seedy side. I don't just want quick sexual gratification with some guy in a toilet. I do think that it is people like this that make the general populas think badly of gay men. Certainly here in the UK, it's this sort of action that has closed almost all public toilets because of this sort of dirty activity.
Ok, more than one issue there. But it is really fustrating to be a single bi guy, honest & not just wanting a quick release or a one night stand with someone. My photo's I have on here for example are to illustrate that I am bi. Anyway - beers & late & time I went to bed.
Peace x
Ahhh I hear you loud and clear.....
Well for me, I cant seem to find single bisexual men that like BBW.... (they're either taken or otherwised engaged...) Yeah I find that- that its just about a quick release- but for me, its not. I actuarly want to seek out at least two relationships with two bisexual men- but sadly cant find one! :eek:
Of course true loving- is the loving of both regardless of genders- and thats what I eventually would like- the attention not just on me, but on everyone.
Maybe thats an unrealistic assumption- but for me its better than cheating, or using webcams for sex. Its ok not to have pictures of your face on here....
I find, and correctly if I'm wrong that straight ppl who have bisexual men/women they put conditions on them- that they can only have sex with the same sexed but not the opposite sex.
Meh.......
It should be in theory more equal than that. So in that sense of loving I'm totally bisexual. For I seek love, friendship and soul searching (and sex). Others just want to cum...
:)
etncple
Mar 3, 2009, 6:49 AM
I am a single bi male looking to meet bi couples fror friendship and some hot sex if iy goes that way. I was married to a women for 25 yrs whom passed at 37. Now I am alone and dont understand why couples are not into single guys. I understand many can be jerks. But not all of us are that way. We frequented hedo 2 for many years and even there single men are singled out to a point. Looking for some friendly couples. John
Unfortunately, as pointed out by a few people, the single male is judged much more harshly. There are a number of reasons why couples feel this way. First, many are married and hiding it, second, many are looking for a female for a quickie and pretend to be bi to get at her, third many of them are not comfortable with being bi and tend to look for a quick bj in a park or theater with anyone whenever they get too horny, fourth, many never show up for a first meeting.
We would love to have a FRIEND who we could socialize with, and also play with, someone we know is not out looking for anything they can get.
When we say we want a friend we mean someone who can talk with us about something BESIDES SEX, share our interests and their's ( hobbies, sports etc...) and most important of all is being honest. We have a number of "red light" questions we ask all guys who contact us and that helps weed out a lot of the bs artists.
We still will answer any email from a male, we just have found we have to weed thru the bs and have a lot of patience.
someotherguy
Mar 3, 2009, 1:02 PM
It's because single guys don't have a woman at home to dress them right so they show up wearing funny looking outfits and it kills the mood. Speaking for myself, that is.
Hephaestion
Mar 3, 2009, 6:27 PM
.... I was married to a women for 25 yrs whom passed at 37. .....
Deepest symapthies with your loneliness.
I am a little lost in your account. Are you saying that you and she were married for 25 years and she died at the age of 37; dId you marry when she was 12?
.
rissababynta
Mar 3, 2009, 6:52 PM
Deepest symapthies with your loneliness.
I am a little lost in your account. Are you saying that you and she were married for 25 years and she died at the age of 37; dId you marry when she was 12?
.
hmmmmm
good eye
PolyLoveTriad
Mar 3, 2009, 8:26 PM
It's because single guys don't have a woman at home to dress them right so they show up wearing funny looking outfits and it kills the mood. Speaking for myself, that is.
lmao!
Actually we ARE out here! just like us though, maybe some people are just picky?
jeancarleo
Mar 4, 2009, 5:25 AM
It's hard when the spouse don't agree to have a guy. It's taking over a year for me to meet this couple. I already talked to him on internet, phone and even to her. Sometimes she was cool about meeting me but then she wasn't sure he told me that. Then next thing you know he told me that she asked for me. It's weird how women don't make up their mind as easy as a guy, but that's women. He told me we could meet first someday when she's not home and then the next time she can be there and just be as friends me and him and slowly try to see if she would accept me. But i have patience and hope that she will someday accept me :)
gvbicouple
Mar 4, 2009, 1:13 PM
My take on it, as the male half of a couple, is because most husbands are possessive of their wives and afraid that their wife will be more attracted to the new partner.
From past experience, I've found that couples who ARE interested in single male partners tend to be more confident and secure in their own marriages.
Just my :2cents:
PaulWaul
Mar 4, 2009, 1:58 PM
My take on it, as the male half of a couple, is because most husbands are possessive of their wives and afraid that their wife will be more attracted to the new partner.
From past experience, I've found that couples who ARE interested in single male partners tend to be more confident and secure in their own marriages.
Just my :2cents:
Yup, that usually the reason, except the husband isn't always as conscious of his reasons for doing so.
boca.openminded
Mar 4, 2009, 3:26 PM
I'd say most single guys are only out for sex & tend to lean more towards the female when they play
Couples want other couples so both people can play. When there is just a single guy with a couple 1 person is left alone..
This is what I heard for many yrs from many bi couples..
and the waiting continues for me......lol