The Connotations of the Word "Gay"

[Skater Boy]

A couple of months back (say 3 or so) I was in the college library, busy typing up my essay to meet a deadline.

Whilst I was sitting there at the computer, I over-heard a conversation. Well, it was really rather difficult NOT TO hear this conversation, because the voices of the people involved were pretty loud and the library (being a library) was pretty quiet.

Anyway, there was this young Muslim girl (I'm assuming she was a Muslim because she was wearing a hijab), aged about 18 or 19, chatting to her two colleagues at another computer. One of these colleagues happened to raise some trivial proposition that she found objectionable. And her reply was:

"No way!!! Thats GAY, man!!! Are you calling me GAY, or something?!"

Now the previously mentioned proposition was nothing whatsoever to do with sexuality. Nor was it anything even potentially RELATED to sexuality or gender. I remember that much. But her response was enough to make me stop what I was doing and look up from my computer.

I have to admit that I wasn't bold (or perhaps stupid) enough to berate her for her words. But it did piss me off. I couldn't help but wonder what SHE would have said if I and MY colleagues had strolled around the library using the word MUSLIM as a derogatory term?

I was not the only person to leave her statement unchallenged... the rest of the library seemed to think better of questioning it too.

The annoying thing is that I can say, from personal experience, that this sort of occurance is not uncommon. Words denoting homosexuality have, for many people, become casually used derogatory terms. It was much the same when I was in school, and even in university, to some extent, where people are "supposed" to be more mature. I've also heard such terms bandied about in a similar manner by many fully grown adults on the streets of London.

There's a lot of stigma attached to homosexuality in today's society, and IMO it probably doesn't help that these words have become synonymous with superlatively negative ones.

How did this happen? Is homosexuality really perecived by so many as something so negative and undesirable? Should such use of words in a derogatory manner be more strictly governed, as they would be with race? And is there anything that can be done to attempt to CHANGE the public's use of such words to a more positive one?

Tbh, I'm not sure I have any of the answers. But I wanted to get this rant off my chest, since its been there a while. :)

Saludos,

Skaterboy

[DiamondDog]

It's always been this way though, even throughout history.

Even in ancient Greek, Roman, Japanese, Celtic, and Norse socities what we'd call bisexuality was acceptable but being what we'd call homosexual or back then being able to fall in romantic love with men and being a passive bottom for anal intercourse with another man was seen as being feminine, "wrong", bad, and in some cases if you were found out it was punishable by death.

Anyway, look at how any sexuality that isn't hetero is treated in the middle east, by Islam itself in the Koran, by Arabic cultures, and in the muslim world.

It's punishable by death or inprisonment in many Islamic countries even the non-fundementalist ones like Egypt and Turkey.

We really do have it easier in the west and in North American and European countries, compared to the rest of the world.

[vittoria]

anything thats considered a slur for any group of people isnt cool...

i've learned that the word "gauche" would fit in as a fine substitute for what many would title "gay"...

slurs are usually used by people who dont have a grasp of the english language( or havent seen a dictionary/thesaurus in a while...)

imho it will take a longer time for the word "gay" to reach the same mode as the "N word" ...(take for instance Dog the Bounty Hunter who is now cancelled for using such terminology about his son's girlfriend...http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3c3_1193865518


this planet will never grow up..unless we grow ourselves

[lashalane]

ghey
a derivation of gay meaning lame. meant to be non-offensive to individuals of a homosexual persuasion.

Ghey is a word coined so that deluded morons can call shit gay and keep a clear conscience.

Gotta love copy/paste.

[Skater Boy]

Y'know what... I've decided to take matters into my own hands and use the "Mirror Effect". From now on, instead of using the adjectives "shit", "crap", "rubbish", "boring", "unappealing", etc. I'm gonna use the word "straight", and see what sort of response I get.

"What?! You like 50 Cent?! That's fuckin' STRAIGHT, man!"

"OMG, you've still got the price tag on your baseball cap... thats sooo STRAIGHT!"

"Oh, you drive a Pinto... how HETEROSEXUAL!"

:bigrin:

[Lisa (va)]

It's not necessarily the words, but more the manner of the way the person is saying them that may make them seem derogatory.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[dafydd]

it's awful SKaterboy. Last year I spearheaded a campaign against radio1 DJ Chris Moyles who used the derogatory use of the word gay on his radio show.
As a teacher I see this new term enter children's vocab all too easily. It's a shame you didn't challenge the Muslim girl as it's only when people vocally stand up for what they believe in, that anything could make a difference. Sadly in schools many teachers don't challenge the derogatory use of the word 'gay' because they believe does not have a homophobic connotation.
we need more out gay teachers.
d

[Skater Boy]

it's awful SKaterboy. Last year I spearheaded a campaign against radio1 DJ Chris Moyles who used the derogatory use of the word gay on his radio show.
As a teacher I see this new term enter children's vocab all too easily. It's a shame you didn't challenge the Muslim girl as it's only when people vocally stand up for what they believe in, that anything could make a difference. Sadly in schools many teachers don't challenge the derogatory use of the word 'gay' because they believe does not have a homophobic connotation.
we need more out gay teachers.
d

I remember the Chris Moyles incident well, and I was offended when it happened. especially considering that Chris Moyles is a grown man in position of influence, who should've both known better, and set a better example. To me, it symbolized something about our society that makes me sad.

You're right about the schoolkids too... it was much the same when I was at school, but I think its been getting worse of late. IMO we do need ensure young children don't develop such bad habits.

[diB4u]

Children only copy what is accepted or what is heard. Yeah I’ve heard "your so gay" when teenagers are referring them to being stupid or something like that.

But then derogative terms have always been used, regardless of a persons colour, creed, sexuality, gender or even height and weight.
Whilst I agree with a Skater boy that someone saying that is out of order, how would that person feel or think if you had said a unpleasant word for a Muslim… See where I’m coming from. Its because its socially acceptable to slur one group whilst not another.

I have lost countless of times, that well meaning people have stopped me and commented on how I really didn’t need that packed of crisps. Being a big person, I not only found that rude and insulting, I found that hurtful. Who was that person to say that to me? The same with the college student.

Sadly that is the way of the world we are living in.

[Skater Boy]

Its because its socially acceptable to slur one group whilst not another.

I have lost countless of times, that well meaning people have stopped me and commented on how I really didn’t need that packed of crisps. Being a big person, I not only found that rude and insulting, I found that hurtful. Who was that person to say that to me? The same with the college student.

Sadly that is the way of the world we are living in.

Agreed. Although I wish there was some way to CHANGE what society considers "socially acceptable" to do. I mean, surely it must be possible... its just a question of how...

[Tenri]

My history teacher was one of the few teachers in my school that actually told off students for using the word 'gay' in a derogatory manner. We need more teachers like him, so that children don't wrongly learn that it's an acceptable synonym for 'stupid'. Sadly, most teachers and other authority figures ignore the usage.

[diB4u]

I wish there was a way to re afirm good standards, but sadly there isn't.

Now when I get a bad word said about me, I look straight ahead and ignore them. To act is to give into the hurtful and nasty words... To ignore is to be the winner.

[vittoria]

I wish there was a way to re afirm good standards, but sadly there isn't.

Now when I get a bad word said about me, I look straight ahead and ignore them. To act is to give into the hurtful and nasty words... To ignore is to be the winner.

amen.

nuff said.