yay!! less than a month...... Im having a party!!

[deletetacount123]

Less than a month Im having a party :)

lol

Less than a month I get to start signing the papers for divorce since 1 year of separtion law thingy is almost done. :) (stupid law lol this was a long time coming so I don't know why we had to wait)

Anyway,
I have moved on but it would be nice to get the divorce on paper. That way it proves Im really divorced. :)

*jumps* I should treat myself to something. Lets see......
Well, what I REALLY want is impossible to ask for lol so I have to pick something else.....
think think think..... ummmm

Oh ya... does anyone want that pocket watch I posted awhile ago for free?? Take it off my hands!!! Its cursed.... its not selling on ebay or craiglist and the pawn shops around here are cheap and junky. (ok I never checked the Pawn shops, I only know from what my sister said hehe)
Take it or it'll go bye bye to the garbage monster :(

Tasha

[BreeIsMe]

Tasha,
I am happy that you have moved on from a marriage that obviously didn't fit you. I have also been divorced and it also took quite some time to get the paperwork done although there was no "law" that make us wait a year. It took over 1 and 1/2 years because (I believe) lawyers who are involved see this as their lunch money! The more they can drag it out the more money we have to pay. But that is not my reason for commenting. I just wanted to say that when I finally got my divorce papers, I wasn't really feeling like having a party since I viewed the whole thing as a failure. Either a failure to choose the right person or to adjust to the situation (on one or more likely both of our parts). And the reason that I am particulaly sad is that it also involved a third human being...my son. I have been divorced now for 12 years and my son is now 17. He used to be such a happy little boy but ever since the divorce he seemed to change and loose just a little of his smile....
maybe I am making more out of it than I should be divorces are obviously necessary at times but they are also reasons for reflection on your life and how it may affect others and how your decisions to get involved with someone or even married should never be made lightly...

I don't mean to rain on your parade. Again, I am happy that you are now out of a bad situation but I think you won't be fully recovered until you can look back on your experience with more perspective than glee....

Having said that, please let us know when the papers come through so we can all congratulate you on your official status...

Bree

[deletetacount123]

Bree,

there is a law or so my lawyers said.... we had to wait at least a year or so as separted before we could start the divorce papers. (Remember Im in Canada so the law might be different than USA)

It was a long time coming... After we married his true self started to show and I lost all interests I had for him when he hurt my feelings in a way no husband should ever do in 2005. :(
I tired everything to make it work but he was not interested.

He was just wanting to be married cause everyone he knew was married. AND to have someone to have "safe one night stands" with. Our sex life was nothing. lol I describe it as 2 min quickie. Nothing enjoyable at all.

So I am quite happy.. I moved on and I really want nothing to do with him anymore. The fact hes telling people HE knows that *I* cheated on him which is a total lie makes me go "oh god, Im sooo glad we're done. What a lair."
I don't get how someone can say that when they know my feelings about cheating. Its wrong, Im against cheating.
And his mom was (till I blocked her on MSN) sending me abusive messages.

He was also trying to control me in ways. He wanted me to do what HE pleases... what HE wants and so on. Didn't care what I wanted.

He didn't even care that I got hurt once when I fell and really hurt my back. Why? he was to busy playing his computer game..... The crash was loud so I know he heard it. When I told him he was like "So?"

So yes, I totally want nothing to do with him... hes history, over. Good bye.

It was a long time coming and I tried.... he had no interest so I gave up. Let him find some other girl who doesn't want to be loved and play computer games all the time in his spare time rather than spending time with his wife.

Meanwhile, Im finding someone that knows how to love and care and knows how to treat me right.

Tasha

[BreeIsMe]

Tasha,
OMG!
I didn't mean to say you were not justified in getting divorced or that you hadn't tried!
Your story is so sad and also unfortunately too frequently repeated all over the world
I don't know what it is that makes men (and some women) think that they can treat someone that way. You DESERVE to be treated with respect and as I have discussed with "onewhocares" many times, you DESERVE to have someone who takes YOUR NEEDS into account not just a self-centered, attention-demanding bastard.

Marriage and life is not a one way street.

My heart goes out to you and I wish I could give you one big caring hug..
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tasha))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry if I sounded like I was being critical and assigning blame. In no way was that my intention. I was just looking at things from a point where my divorce (now somewhat distant) appears in a different light than it did at the time. I too thought I tried and when my spouse decided that she didn't want to even live in the same city as me, I thought it was time to move on...

a different situation for sure..

anyway, please do not think that I meant anything bad...

I certainly support your decision and rejoice at your deserved freedom!!!

Bree



Bree,

there is a law or so my lawyers said.... we had to wait at least a year or so as separted before we could start the divorce papers. (Remember Im in Canada so the law might be different than USA)

It was a long time coming... After we married his true self started to show and I lost all interests I had for him when he hurt my feelings in a way no husband should ever do in 2005. :(
I tired everything to make it work but he was not interested.

He was just wanting to be married cause everyone he knew was married. AND to have someone to have "safe one night stands" with. Our sex life was nothing. lol I describe it as 2 min quickie. Nothing enjoyable at all.

So I am quite happy.. I moved on and I really want nothing to do with him anymore. The fact hes telling people HE knows that *I* cheated on him which is a total lie makes me go "oh god, Im sooo glad we're done. What a lair."
I don't get how someone can say that when they know my feelings about cheating. Its wrong, Im against cheating.
And his mom was (till I blocked her on MSN) sending me abusive messages.

He was also trying to control me in ways. He wanted me to do what HE pleases... what HE wants and so on. Didn't care what I wanted.

He didn't even care that I got hurt once when I fell and really hurt my back. Why? he was to busy playing his computer game..... The crash was loud so I know he heard it. When I told him he was like "So?"

So yes, I totally want nothing to do with him... hes history, over. Good bye.

It was a long time coming and I tried.... he had no interest so I gave up. Let him find some other girl who doesn't want to be loved and play computer games all the time in his spare time rather than spending time with his wife.

Meanwhile, Im finding someone that knows how to love and care and knows how to treat me right.

Tasha

[s_shunpike]

Tasha,

I can truly understand how you feel. By the time that my seperation and divorce came from my first wife, rejoicing and celebrating were definitely called for. In retrospect it was probably over before it began. I managed somehow to drag it out for 9 long and miserable years. Miserable for me, miserable for her, and miserable for the kids.

I know that people told me the same things that Bree mentioned, you must greive, etc. I think that for some people if the situation is indeed bad enough that at some point in time you hit that greiving process long before the paper says it's over or even before your bags are packed.

Heck, here we are 7 years later and my kids tell me often that the divorce was the best thing to happen to all of us.

So - when the papers are signed, here are a couple of ideas I have for you for celebration: Make a copy, go home and burn or frame it (depending on your preference)! Take any pieces of jewelry or chatzkes that he may have given that you didn't particularly like and walk down the streets handing them out! Go stand with your feet in the waters of Lake Pentiction and happily shout - IT'S DONE!!!!! for all the world to hear!

Shun

[arana]

Congratulations Tasha!

[woolleycouple]

Yeah Tasha keep the countdown going :grouphug: it is so nice to not have a jackass around that treats you like shit. I am soooo happy for you :bigrin: .


keep smiling sweetie

[mistymockingbird]

Rock on Tasha. I know how good it will feel to finally sign paperwork. My ex husband was an abusive asshole. The day that my divorce finalized I went out the dinner at a swanky restaurant and then to the theatre to celebrate. A year later on that day, same thing. Dinner and a show. I didn't throw my jewels into the ocean or anything, but I have what I refer to as my ex-box. A box that lives in the back of my closet that holds trinkets and photos from the lovers of my past. It was cathartic putting it all in there and closing it up. Congrats on closing one chapter in your life and starting a new one.

[meteast chick]

Sweet...We don't have any such law that requires a certain amount of separation, but I'll be happy when my papers are finally signed! He keeps saying I'm putting it off. Last thing I came to him that was suggested by my lawyer, he said no way, I went back to my lawyer about it and she said his lawyer suggested it!!!

HA HA!

Anyway, I'm happy as a clam for you,

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
meteast

[whattodo]

Tasha,

Sounds like your almost ex and mine should get together and hang out sometime. I had a lot of the same problems with my ex. The one thing I have learned is that no matter how hard you try they will never change. Let them go, move on and up. There is someone out there that will make you happy and will love you the way you need to be loved.

What

[TorontoGuy2007]

hi tasha

congrats on the official divorce papers. i'm sure they will be a very symbolic item for officially bringing that sad chapter of your life to a close.

wait, did you say party? lol