Questions for the Trans people

[flexuality]

I figure the best way to learn is to ask, so...... :rolleyes:

Before coming to this site, my only exposure to trans anything was via porn. I have a feeling that I am not the only one and that it is actually very common.

A lot of porn is pretty badly done as far as depicting the "real" side of anyone, let alone trans people. I know porn is not intended to be educational as such, but there is some that seems more "genuine" in the way that they portray people. That in itself can be very misleading sometimes.

One thing that I notice that seems to be consistant with porn involving trans people is the idea that trans people are BOTH genders. I have even seen beautifully done, sensitive, quality porn involving trans, but again the idea STILL was that they are both male and female.

What I see and read on this site, is that this is not the case....that transgendered does not mean both, but rather one or the other, born with a body that does not match.

Would that be accurate? More or less?

Is there a way to distinguish, at least conversationally, the porn type of portrayal and the real transgendered person? I know there are terms used in the porn industry (she-male, trannie, etc) that are not accurate to real trans people, but what would be some alternate language to use? (not sure if that makes any sense...)

Are there people in real like who do identify as both sexes? Are there people in real life like what is portrayed in porn? If there are, what would they be referred to as?

It gets really confusing when the "chick with a dick" (no offense intended...just using a porn term) and an F2M that says "I'm just a regular guy" get both called transgendered or trans.

There is also the fact that some of the "chick with a dick" type of person (I need another term...help! I don't know what to call people like that) can be very attractive and that seems okay to me.

DeafF2M is a good looking guy (hehe...sorrry to single ya out there deaf :tong: ) and that's okay to me too.

How can those two seemingly different people be both called trans?

I hope these are okay questions to ask. I apologize if my terms are offensive, that's not my intention....but please, if they are offensive I would like to know that too. :rolleyes:

[deletetacount123]

You post some good questions Flex... I don't think they are offensive questions since your speaking from curiously and wanting to know more.
THIS is what people want to be asked... questions out of curiously cause your just trying to learn.

I am unable to answer anything but I am curious too... I knew a little about transexuals before my 1st ex.... I learned more about it after I met him but we never got to talking about the ones in porn movies.

My first ex was a FTM and looked good. :) I agree DeafFTM looks like a good
looking guy too... can't picture him as a female at all.

Tasha

[Long Duck Dong]

its the same as placing bisexuals in the same basket

lol its just not gonna balance out, unless we say all bisexuals are people that want to have sex with both genders and want a open relationship with a swinging nature...... that may describe about 30% of the bisexuals, the rest will nail you to a wall for saying it lol

some of the trans people I know outside of bisexual.com refer to themselves using offensive wording ( as regarded by some folk in bisexual.com )

where it came a issue for me, is with my friends, they asked that I refer to them as I see them as it takes a lot of difficulty out of the issue
some are pre op so I refer to them as the gender that they wish to be referred as, some are post op, and I refer to them as the gender they are
but in most cases, they allow themselves to be refered to as trannies, she males, etc etc.... as in most cases, thats how people related to them... and it was easier to not take offense to the wording as in most cases it was meant as a non offensive word....
most people outside of the trans community have no terms to use in regards to the trans people... and each trans person may perfer to be addressed differently...it makes it near impossible address the group with a singulair name, unless we want to place them in in the same group and remove their individual aspects

this didn't create a issue until recently in bisexual.com.... and people started taking the word as a offensive term....even tho it was still a way to refer to some people in a group....

hence I use the terms, trans folk, trans people, trans gender or trans sexual and I avoid talking in reference to trans people in a personal manner...
its not cause of the reactions to some of the words I have used.... but simply a fact that I am not able to post in a manner of open communication without running the risk of offending people... and that is not why I post things in bisexual.com... I dearly want to discuss and share, without creating offense....

so a list of acceptable wording would be nice to see

[flexuality]

Another question....

Where does "intersexed" fit into this? Would that be a better word for the portion of the trans people portrayed in porn that are not hormone induced? (the stereotypical what appears to be a woman but has male parts)

Is intersexed even part of transgendered?

[raistkit]

good question. when we set up our profile i identified myself as transgendered as this was the catagory that was the closest fit to who and what i am. i am a female and attracted to men only. sometimes i look at a man and want him to make love to me as a woman. other men i look at make me wish i had a dick (guess thats what strapons are for). i've been cross dressing for years now. it's easier for a female to do this in public then a male. anybody asks i just tell them i find mens clothing more comfortable. yes i do identify as both sexes, and have done so for as long as i can remember. i've never been confused about my sexuality. this is who and what i am, and if someone does't like it they can take a long walk off a short pier. i may not be confused but my underwear drawer sure is. kit

[Long Duck Dong]

roflmao, thank you raistkit.... you hit the nail on the head perfectly

I am in a similiar situation... I am bisexual, but cos I am a bisexual that is also attracted to transgender, I am better classed as a pansexual... but cos my attraction covers platonic, friendship, romantic and sexual aspects I can be classed as a omnisexual

I have enuf confusion in my life without adding the confusion over the best way to address possible partners lol

[DeafF2M]

The problem with porn is the people who are usually making trans porn are not trans people so they are not aware of the correct terms that could be used... either that or they don't give a shit. Seems terms like "shemale" and "chick with a dick" is what sells films. Utterly ridiculous that transpeople are exploited in such a stereotypical and negative manner...

Porn that is produced for and BY transpeople is so much better...

Another problem... language.. there is no right way to address transpeople. LDD said it best tho... transgender, transsexual, MTF, FTM, ... those are terms used by various people in the community. When in doubt, ask.

As for gender identity, it is a very, very fluid thing. Some people DO actually identify as someone with both sexes. I know a few bigendered people and non-gendered people (folks who don't really identify as male or female.. more of a 3rd gendered thing)

As I said, when in doubt, ask. Identities are so fluid that it becomes tough to lump people into one box...

I personally ID as a man who happens to be transsexual. that's MY ID... and it doesn't fit everybody.

and.... :bigrin: Thanks for the compliments over my looks. Much appreciated! :three:

[Keliana]

I figure the best way to learn is to ask, so...... :rolleyes:

Before coming to this site, my only exposure to trans anything was via porn. I have a feeling that I am not the only one and that it is actually very common.

A lot of porn is pretty badly done as far as depicting the "real" side of anyone, let alone trans people. I know porn is not intended to be educational as such, but there is some that seems more "genuine" in the way that they portray people. That in itself can be very misleading sometimes.

One thing that I notice that seems to be consistant with porn involving trans people is the idea that trans people are BOTH genders. I have even seen beautifully done, sensitive, quality porn involving trans, but again the idea STILL was that they are both male and female.

What I see and read on this site, is that this is not the case....that transgendered does not mean both, but rather one or the other, born with a body that does not match.

Would that be accurate? More or less?

Is there a way to distinguish, at least conversationally, the porn type of portrayal and the real transgendered person? I know there are terms used in the porn industry (she-male, trannie, etc) that are not accurate to real trans people, but what would be some alternate language to use? (not sure if that makes any sense...)

Are there people in real like who do identify as both sexes? Are there people in real life like what is portrayed in porn? If there are, what would they be referred to as?

It gets really confusing when the "chick with a dick" (no offense intended...just using a porn term) and an F2M that says "I'm just a regular guy" get both called transgendered or trans.

There is also the fact that some of the "chick with a dick" type of person (I need another term...help! I don't know what to call people like that) can be very attractive and that seems okay to me.

DeafF2M is a good looking guy (hehe...sorrry to single ya out there deaf :tong: ) and that's okay to me too.

How can those two seemingly different people be both called trans?

I hope these are okay questions to ask. I apologize if my terms are offensive, that's not my intention....but please, if they are offensive I would like to know that too. :rolleyes:

================================================== ======
The term Transgender was orginally coined for political reasons. To unite all those who fall beyond the "gender norms" of society.

It can be use to refer to a crossdresser (transvestite in latin), a transsexual, androgenous, etc... (In some cases people have put intersex into the bunch).

Some use 'transgender' as an identity within itself, (transgenderist= one who wishes to live in the other gender, but does not wish to have a sex change).

"Transsexuals" are those who have a persistant desire to change (transition) their sex (as defined in the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care manual). Many do, some can't because of economical or medical reasons.

"Transvestites" or crossdressers are those who transform (temporarily) to the other sex or gender for fetishtic or as a way to temporarily ease their gender discomfort for a limited time.

"Shemales" (god I hate that word) is a term coined by the porn industry AND used by those who actually want to be in between the two genders. They want the "tit's and dick" and thrive on the sexual connotation. Many in the transgender community look down on such individuals, seeing them as a destructive offshoot of the transsexuals. Many men who are "tranny chasers" are usually looking for this aspect of "transsexual", having little regard to the fact that most transgender/transsexuals are not this way at all.

"Intersex" people are those who have a biological anomaly. 1 out of 500 babies are born intersexed. Animals too! There are many factors involved with intersex births. Environmental (pollution) causing hormonal imbalances of the embryo, chromosomal defects (being born with xxy, x, y, xyy, etc..instead of the typical xy or xx make up) causing the fetus to be born someplace in between. Some intersex babies are born with both genitalia (don't call it hermaphordite! That's an old derogatory term), some with none. Other have xy chromosomes, but a vagina and some have xx chromosomes and a penis. The effects are the very mild to the most severe and an intersex person can fall anywhere in between.
There is a theory out there that transsexualism is a very mild form of intersex, but there is not concrete evidence of that yet.
Most intersex people DO NOT identify as "transgendered" and identify as male or female with a genital defect. Some have surgeries at a young age, some at a later age. Some don't at all. Depends on the person. (The surgeries are a lot like the transsexual reassignement surgeries.)

Bottom line. When using the term "trans" or "transgender", remember, don't be so presumptous. The person you are referring to may not be what you think.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.


Peace and Blessings,

Keliana

[TorontoGuy2007]

i think the question really comes down to definitions. gender role is a label society puts on us based on our biological sex. most transgendered people are not transsexuals.

by definition, transsexuals feel trapped in the wrong body, hence they have adopted the gender role of the opposite of their biological birth sex.

transgendered people may be totally comfortable with their sexuality yet feel more comfortable adopting the opposite gender role.

overall, i would think that 99% of transsexuals do not identify as both sexes. they simply feel trapped in the wrong body.

let's not forget that porn is fiction. it is a fantacy world that has nothing to do with reality.. sadly, the porn industry has been the #1 cause of false myths about transsexuals..

[DeafF2M]

i think the question really comes down to definitions. gender role is a label society puts on us based on our biological sex. most transgendered people are not transsexuals.

by definition, transsexuals feel trapped in the wrong body, hence they have adopted the gender role of the opposite of their biological birth sex.

transgendered people may be totally comfortable with their sexuality yet feel more comfortable adopting the opposite gender role.

overall, i would think that 99% of transsexuals do not identify as both sexes. they simply feel trapped in the wrong body.

let's not forget that porn is fiction. it is a fantacy world that has nothing to do with reality.. sadly, the porn industry has been the #1 cause of false myths about transsexuals..

OH, yes.. you're so right.. many of the stereotypes about Trans people are borne from porn. Don't get me wrong, i love porn when it's done right. I can't stand to see Transpeople treated in the way they are by pornographers.

I hope to see more sex-positive and more open-minded, ACCURATE portrayals of transpeople in the media, be it TV, movies or even porn.

And Keliana... excellent post. You've summed up the terminology quite nicely.